Feel like there is so much to write. yet i am paralyzed. of a kind
Feel like there is so much food and fodder to fuel, but it is too much, where and how to start. And i keep thinking of that graphic that shows a goal and in between a grand ground hole titled the internet, between self and goal.
Last week. was a very peculiar time. in the cosmos and how that dynamic affected me. [*&(@] >
see below
I can call it Holi
ka Week 2012.
and i just watched a clip on KONY2012 on headline news and realize, more fodder. {be careful what you do, how you do, what you did, what you are reaching for; the very thing may fall down and crush you}. anyone noticing a very metaphysical spiritual confusion in a lot of events and outworkings. Kony founder is one story. manning;s debilitating stroke is another? bizarre events that seem to send signals / where one wonders what and who is really roaming the lands.
makes me think of the book i am reading now, Angelology. a fiction for sure. but what happens when the fiction you are reading is modeled and repeated in symbols in the real world? the Angels, the Great Race, the pure Nephilim are from Europe much as the Illuminati and their schemes plans and actions as put forth in conspiracy theories.
Endless
but last week starting with Phagwa. an unspoken unconsidered personal exploration of my presence and engagement. save for another asking me why i was there. I took it casual, but now in hindsight, cant overlook the fact that it was the event to start my very odd seven day experience.
then i realized i was real agitated, frustrated and angry in the midst of days between monday to wednesday, with the work being done in the yard. how other's choices affect our lives, and seeing stupid in train. can be very destabilizing.
then my mom's 70th birthday brought with it amazing insights and dynamics that i was not prepared for that stayed with me in reflection till saturday.
then by friday, i realized how stress i really was by my body;s reaction to it and how we absorb and coexist with stress and dont know it until there is a problem to manage. and how blessed i am that my stress is the odd event and very rare. scary
all of that i could be writing about. I woke up this morning pondering all. same thing on Sunday. musing how i would write it all. but still refusing to write. either in my journal, an essay piece or my blog. Odd. i am not sure what is the block or unwillingness. perhaps my hig her Self knows and in time it will flow, effortlessly. for now it remains in my head
Then i have been musing on a writing experiment, apart from my constant reflectographing...to take a powerful book, written by a best author. Mark Twain, VS Naipaul, or Toni Morrison...or Garcia Marquez...and for every line. rewrite in some context or story I know. And what will that be in the end? How good or quirky> Just to get me writing stories. I feel I cant do the latter. But I can document my eye observation really well.
another material i ponder: how to write a piece to highlight the paradoxical lies of the english language: "i killed you out of kindness" is taken to mean one thing; but really, focus on the ;out: and you see the way in which language is used to masque not convey. i find that mind blowing. how to expand that, how to explore that . in to a book. into an essay. and perhaps more than me, Bradd needs to do that undertaking
tell you: endless food and fodder. but still, no writing ;)
Except as Briefs on FB ;)
once upon a time I wished for a patron to support these kinds of time filling muse, complete with budget, room and house in mountains, and endless books being delivered :)
they used to call that an academic>
Huh. then i did forget the real work academic stuff.
To research and map; to write a model of Trinidad andTobag0 economy. To formulate the stylized facts. document and publish for refereed feedback. to have seminars and national, regional conferences to present and receive competing viewpoints.
what kind of economy is trinidad and tobago. and please idiot do not mimic for me: an oil and gas economy>// I mean, beyond that. How is it the state is the center of everything but we call this a capitalism? I wish to refute those lies and misdirectives to fit our country in the north colonial neocolonial neoclassic
Then after I do that outlining and theorizing. I would do a national input output study. that is mapping all the businesses and industries, and their sectors in the country. a complete I/O tells you when you drop a dollar in that maze, where it is filtered out to , by penny and fractions of pennies. how many persons in labor it hires, creates, uses, how many units of fuel it consumes, how much taxes generated, at what level. and how much investment and income it yields. Real stuff. Real Numbers. Real Thinking. Real Nuts and Bolts. and tell you how many women are working, how and where at what wages. Not the bullshit this place and all its lords and overlords tripe. Not one economist I see here deals in the real, the only one I think attempted to get.reach, was Lloyd Best. Who has taken him up since the what? 70s? Lol. sick to realize the absence of real work
we are really a petri dish of our own making and sustaining/ it is not real
Third Economic thing I would do. Describe, Document, Photograph and Factualize Poverty as it is Experienced, Observed, Realized in particular form in this Trinidad Tobago/ Where folk have expensive shoes but live in shacks. where the density of bodies rivals what China and Asia? where we dump our garbage where we live. do not sweep or wash streets, and plant dumps in the middle of pristine hills. ThatTnT Poverty --
that would be the name of the project, the papers, conferences and the Final Report
Fourth socio-economic-political assessment I would do?
Acquire handheld devices, written with specially personally designed programs and applications and count every man jack woman jill in the country; of all babes in arm, at breast, in womb, and by age. up to retirees. and invalids.
we are not 1.3 million for the life of this country. It kills me that we are so collectively and completely dotish to allow that number to be told to us and repeated in perpetuity. I know one other who have baled and that is David Bratt.
I might hire him to do the next important and critical SEP study.
SEP= SocioEconomicPolitical > To map the health profile of this country. We have more than 150K with Diabetes. We do not know how many have and have died of cancer. And I would one to do a real sword and knife assessment of health no-care, non-care in the country. How many we kill and maim for sport? That will be one of the sections, if not a paper. . Babes, Fetuses and Mothers, Prime on the list.
I will end here. Think if I keep writing the work will never end.
Another Critical Piece Required?
An assessment of the Educational Process and System. The question?
How on earth do we produce such total idiots? What is the Curriculum? What do they graduate doing? Then we get to the companies, public sector, banks and services, wasa and electricity, roads and hospitals/ their performance and outputs. and we ask, how do we make people to conduct in this fashion?
Perhaps., we can identify the pings and work backwards to construct a curriculum of function that includes Reading, Problem Identification, Agency and Empowerment, Citizen Mobilization, Problem Solving, Problem Avoidance. Citizen Contribution, Rights and Responsibility, Math, Science, Language, Building, Engineering and Agriculture, Environmental Care and Protection. Hygiene, Maintenance and Cleanliness. Consideration, Fairness, Exact Justice,; Fellow Stewardship. You get the picture. Think I might call this sector, Liberation/a big part of Liberation is Sitting Silence, Envisioning Self Elevation and Meditation for the students/enrolled.
And how do we make this education Public for All. even those beyond school age. Just Alive and Awake.
yeah. my work plan from 2012 - 2017.
an IDB, World Bank, IMF Funded Project
(think i been writing for 45 mins)
_-------[*&(@]
Dennis Fairchild "Don't you love how on aspected days like today, how the brain wanders away from everyday trance, ready to register details that have been invisible before? If you've been agitated lately, consider Franz Kafka's advice: "You need not do anything. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, just wait. You need not even wait, just learn to be quiet, still, and solitary. And the world will freely offer itself to you unmasked. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet." For the moment, take time to tune in to the shattering sweetness of life exactly as it is."
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It is real
it is the sacred feminine that guides me...
March 5 and 6 shows deep sensitivities, with boundary issues coming to the surface – shown by the Moon in Cancer aspected by Saturn. These days are all about selfless love, like the love we give children, pets and other selfless connections. March 8 is a time to assert a positive self-image with the full moon in Leo (approx 9:30 AM GMT). The Leo Full moon is the halfway point in the Aquarius cycle, a time of connecting to service and larger social themes. The Leo full Moon shows where we must connect the larger Aquarian themes to authentic passion and joy (Leo) in ourselves and others. Dignified service (Aquarius) demands we put our heart on the line and honor the individual creativity of each person (Leo). This full moon is joined Mars and aspect by Jupiter, showing courage and grace in this process.
M arch 11 and 12 could be depressing days with the Saturn/Moon conjunction. Saturn gives us the awareness of limitations, the need to avoid danger, the remembrance of our mistakes, etc. – all the fun stuff! These things of Saturn compel us to greatness because it shows us the truth. But the truth is not always pleasant. Can you face the truth? Solitude and simplicity are best on these days. March 12 communication issues are big as Mercury turns retrograde. Yes the great astrology scapegoat “Mercury retrograde” is upon us again until April 4 ; so you now have a cosmic explanation for why all things “bad” are happening! Seriously, Mercury retrograde is a time to slow down and reflect on what you say and communicate on all levels. We feel the sting of our poor communications at this time. March 13 and 14 avoid processing difficult emotions with others as the Moon is debilitated with Rahu on these days. You may exaggerate interactions toward the negative now, with a good ‘ole dose of jealousy, paranoia and obsession thrown in. On the positive side, solitude and emotional courage/responsibility will be rewarded with a major breakthrough and important emotional clearing. March 14 and 15 may show conflicts between purpose (Jupiter) and pleasure (Venus), with Jupiter and Venus in planetary war in Aries. As both of these planets are teachers, there will be big lessons about the choices you make between happiness in the moment, and the long-term goals. Are the things that make you happy also serving your long-term growth? March 16 will be an inspired day with Jupiter aspecting the Moon as it moves through Sagittarius. Study and connect to great teachings and teachers that fill you with the belief and remembrance of your true purpose. This is also a great day for you to teach others. March 20 and 21 could show some emotional frustration as the Moon in Aquarius opposes retrograde Mars in Leo. You are feeling duty bound to larger causes and culture (Moon in Aquarius), yet others are driven by their own personal agendas (Mars in Leo). Turn potential enemies into allies by reorienting their passion, willfulness and enthusiasm toward a higher purpose. March 22 begins a month of exposing our attachments with the New moon in Pisces. Pisces is the 12th sign of the Zodiac, showing the culmination of our karma. The goal of life is to surrender ownership to something larger and more eternal. We own nothing here and must relinquish it all. In the absolute sense, nothing real ever dies. This new Moon is joined retrograde Mercury showing there may be confusion separating truth from fiction now. Be careful with what you are calling “reality”. March 25 and 26 hit the ground running with the Moon in Aries joined Venus and Jupiter. Aries is the sign of enthusiasm, passion and courage for life’s challenges and new experiences. Jupiter and Venus are the two teachers, but the teach different things. You may feel this conflict as you pursue pleasure (Venus) and higher principles (Jupiter) simultaneously."
http://www.mydailyastrology.net/join/featured-articles/vedic-astrology-horoscope-for-march-2012
