Sunday, August 31, 2014

Independence of Life

i was liming with a speed demon last night...someone in a bangup toyota hatchback wagon, but whose engine was snazzed suped up and the wheels very stable. one of those - look at me and mistake me kind of vehicles. but i write all of that to say, i was so cognizant zooming through the middle of the night highways and streets, from arima to pos that after every lime and stop. i settled in spiritually, speaking to my three guides and my brother ancestor to secure, hold and stabilize me that should an impact happen, i be saved miraculously as I always have been. it just occurred to me to be thankful that i made it to Sunday morning, safe and not in a news report. it is disconcerting...i realized, learning what i did of this individual that sometimes people may have a death wish and not even know it...this person's friend said they were emotionally unstable as his wife had left him for another man, pregnant she is for the other man, who his friend it was regaling me the facts, introduce her to. He speaking to me about how all of us have emotional traumas that we would never know of, and how life happens to us, and what we have been through and sometimes take to the grave, no one else ever knowing, we not betraying. the walking damaged. i matched that with the driving and realize, how easy it is for people to get caught up in other people's destinies. i remember that ceo associate...who died in a car crash with a girlfriend..i wondering who took who in that situation cause both of them were in delicante . i have no idea why my brain is so imaginative and why i end up in such bizarre life dynamics...speaking of which last night i had three odd spiritual intercourses with strangers - that the driver himself observed as they were with his friends---leading him to ask "why was i there"

one of which accidentally spraying another spanish man -- the friend who introduced the wife to the male homewrecker -- one with a head full of thick curly wavy hair that would make a dog want to touch - dogs not into hair...with my mouth full of a brandy sip -- straight onto his head, side face and shoulders as if I was a babalawao performing a ceremony. everyone present was stunned and perplexed...we ended up meeting up again hours after in chaguaramas where we talked about it and ended up dancing the parkway. my driver friend unspoken-felt it was retribution for his deed done of demise in his life.

another man in arima i made get up from the table in a coughing spell

and a third moved away from my hand to his forehead in a bendward back matrix kung fu stance

"why am i here"

know what i mean too about finding myself in odd circumstances? Liming with deportees. one who murdered a man. i did not even bother to hear the story. a young dude, twenty three years old, who i stood up for as he sat in council of his older mentors? guides...me not knowing at that time the story...but i was like. (throws hands up shakes head: How and Why me so )

#maravalarimaspanishpeople

and then Ladean posts an oracle for me of being a spiritual teacher.
the magic required/ the mystery of all things/ the perplexity of purpose/ and the complexity of all beings

oh! and liming with people who tricked out their interiors so there is no back seat, use of the boot..in $20, $30 and $40K worth of speaker box, audio, energy generators, amps and the like is ...well lets say stunningly stunning. i just wondered what all else could have been done with that money.. this whole clip is about that. all mostly married men: two spanish, two indian and an african--

i even told one, the african, if he knew what i could have done with that money and that right now i have an annex to refurbish. laugh eh. for me to talk about other people's money

well this post cant done cause i think of all that i observed. people really do live in bizarre ways...the level of cleanliness of homes, organization, finishings, or various states of unfinish...but i was in a millionaire's house on Thursday and even his, as fly and lifestyle of the rich and famous it was, the bathroom i visited was seriously wanting...i tell my mother all the time..the way we live i have almost no where here to fore never seen in Trinidad. and we have fallen off cause our current housekeeper is no where near the professional skilled person we had formerly. and the millionaire's housekeeper was there. serving me full bodied wine in a brandy snifter.

#yesmegracioussnob

it is bizarre for me to see rich people who are not generous though, and in fact, very stingy. anybody for that matter. for we can be generous with nothing

very very interesting last few days

#drivemoses

lead the way

Friday, August 29, 2014

Revelations, Deep Self Reflection and Curanderismo- The Healing Arts




One

such an interesting quote...as i sit in reflection in the moment:

"Unbeknown to many the west brought death disguised as life to many a nation who embrace with open arms its tentacles., Even now the death of the west reigns upon the world." Wendell Grant.

written in the macro, this statement implies and makes relevant the micro and my personal situation and life. I think i have taken on so much death and deathly affectations disguised as life and survival that it locks me in. i also see others who scare me. women and men, the women scare me most because i am. the men would scare me the most but for the most part i can, have and am lucky, to stay safe distance. but the sociopsychopathology. the dysfunction. the twisted minds and behaviors, yet, they are all blind to themselves. women who are so internalized in trauma; who talk to themselves in perpetual mental torment and dialogue..who move lips, stare at walls, have hand movements...all visible when they are alone in their own space. i dont want to be like that. yet, it scares me that i am, maybe, or it is easy to be and become. we often dont see ourselves. i wonder what i have done with my trauma. if it is packed away or seeps like theirs do. we dont conceive/even when we think we do, we dont. i need therapy and intervention, and even wonder of and if the capacity, depth and competence exists where i live. i need an intervention.

that quote above is really quite brilliant as i read it over again. Seems like a passage picked from a very* excellent* international political economy text book of high acclaim. serious

when you get to a place. the place. to recognize the extent of your unrighteousness



Two

the winter of my reflections during summer rainy season


Three

 "If a rich man walks up to you in the street and offers to share his wealth, you would know there is a ketch that gives him the long end of the stick wouldn't you?"


Four
 
dear hurt,

i am confused.
to sit here and be so internally embroiled over emotions and yet to read of Africans and Afghanistanis on HONY- Humans of New York -- who have had real, not imagined traumas, multiples in one life, one family...murders, genocides, village rampages, rapes as a tool of war, revolutions that are descents into mad existence, pillage, famine and other forms of war and depravity- like male bestiality running and growing rampant in south africa...

i am lost of all moorings.



Five

writing your stuff heals. if not just relieves.
if no therapist, perhaps just write

i just mused:

"this is why i am concerned about the kind of therapist available. One who is not locked into religious dogma, life myths indoctrinated as part of a system of domination, one who has a global consciousness of world dynamics, systems and prevalences and how that in total compound to impact individual lives, realities and existence. one who understands the realities of Being Black. what it means for Black womanhood ( i cant tell you the regular by which men will tell me that i am a real woman--happened last night of one celebrating his fortieth birthday--i am always bowled by that...is it that all other females are not. and that is what they imply...at least here in trinidad...that the femmes are mostly girls and some ill underformed creature of various makings)...Racism, Misogyny. And one who understands psychoses from a range and varied perspective and cultures - holistic humanity for lack of a better expanse of inclusion. a therapist of the mind and soul and emotions beyond the simplistic. This almost seems impossible for anywhere else. far less for trinidad"

i suspect i have a lot of writing to do

further muse earlier:
i thought of those residential places, homes and institutions for the mentally ill, the psychotic, the addict and other type of self and community offenders...and thought would it not be wonderful to have such a place for those of us traumatized, emotionally off, behaviorally affected, twisted. a place for therapy and deep reflection, full of practices of and for integration, mending, truth finding, self reaching and brash self seeing...doing all forms of arts and meditations from various cultures, practices, world views, traditions... and in such a place, I would write. writing would be a central aspect of processing. perhaps performance as well. perform your trauma to audience, present your unfolding, unpacking, deconstruction and hopefully, one's healing. that is what comedians do isnt it? turning the internal turmoil into public consumption..and perhaps in its consumption, it gets eaten up into nothing...i wish for a place like that.

i have a lot of work to do
it is almost like any work i feigned before was just that, pretense. only now am i at the threshhold to truly therein enter

and i write her and robin williams pic in profile is right beside this line...and i somehow in the back of my mind wonder of metanoia...is it not the extreme of the very disturbance i am addressing here? are those people who commit suicide in some form of living dysfunction with others? or is it all just internal, unseen and so different.

i am talking really about learning "how to live". functionally, with self and others. in community and to life. not death. violence, affectations, or twistedness...

if we all write would we all get better// and the world would be one? imagine
riddle. mystery. proposition



Six

 "too smart and brilliant to be in this condition"


Seven
"Curanderismo"...the healing arts for self and collective reparation

wow.
i am always fascinated when i channel a vibration that is immediately instantaneously reinforced in the cosmos. synchronicity. does it mean i am on the right path? is that what is calling me? healing so i can be of value to others. on that journey/ and even if not all of that. just to be one less crazy. and if not that. just to live righteously. live internally righteous, aligned and corrected.


a post and the pic of the Healing Mother of Earth showed up in my stream as I was writing

Saturday, August 9, 2014

dear hurt,

http://www.mysticmamma.com/full-moon-supermoon-in-aquarius-august-10th-2014/

ARTWORK_MYSTICMAMMA_MOONWOMAN
ART: MYSTIC MAMMA

SUPERMOON, FULL MOON, Grandmother Moon, illuminating what has been hidden. What is uncovered is always a treasure of our inner landscape.
We are here to find our True North. Not magnetic north where we navigating according to others magnetic pull, reacting, pleasing and appeasing.
Our Truth North is aligning with our center and our most authentic Self. In honoring our Self, we will have to define our own path as well as our own boundaries. This is the path to Freedom. Choose You, your soul will thank you!
Here are the MYSTIC MAMMA Astral Insights from our beloved featured astrologers and guiding lights. First from the  Molly Hall from Astrology.About.com :
“The Leo-Aquarius Full Moon is the swing and balance of staying true to yourself, and seeing your own dramatic role in the future-shaping of our times.
“What stands out in the Full Moon chart is the Sun-Moon angle to Saturn (in Scorpio). That forms an activating T-square with deeply entrenched fixed signs.  There are tensions that jar to the roots, and could activate an inside-out kind of change.
“One way this can play out is realizing that to live out new, promising visions, there’s a need to restructure.  And the restructuring, with Saturn there at a provocative angle, is likely in the psyche. 
“So some of the Full Moon release could be of stuck psychic energies, that cry out to be aired and healed.…Aquarius is like an unexpected breeze on a hot summer day. It’s the surprise breakthrough that comes in the midst of struggle. Or a startling event that wakes you up, like a cosmic alarm clock.
“This is a chance to rebel against deadening conformity, to break free — of ideas about reality, a habitual rhythm, deeply embedded conditioning. Epic ah-has happen at the Aquarius Full Moon, when we bust through our own (often self-imposed) glass ceiling and breathe the air.
“The good vibes of Aquarius are best received with an open mind.  If it’s time for a radical upgrade in your thinking, there’s often a period of in-between. Aquarius has two rulers — Uranus and Saturn. One is the evolutionary urge, the other (Saturn) shows us how to ground the charge.
“Being able to see that the way we organize and perceive reality itself, is up for tweaking, can be liberating. This one-two punch of Aquarius Full Moons celebrates out of the box thinking. If you’ve felt at a dead-end, and stagnant, get ready for unexpected plot twists!
“…This Full Moon illuminates: supportive networks, flashes of genius, kindred spirits, human potential for evolution, innovative use of technology, relations with friends, quantum leaps in spiritual growth, sudden events or realizations that alter your life course, your place in the social web…expressing your eccentricities, being true to yourself, act on behalf of human freedom.”
© Copyright 2014 ~ Molly Hall. All Rights Reserved

From the always inspiring Kelley Rosano:
“The Aquarius Full Moon on August 10 is a SuperMoon. It is one in a series of five SuperMoons this year. This makes the Full Moon extra potent and powerful being so close to the Earth…”
“This Full Moon could be an emotional roller coaster ride. It is an opportunity to stand in your truth and rise above the drama. Ground yourself daily. Do what balances you.
“Step back and do not react when curve balls are thrown at you. Be proactive and not reactive. This will empower you to be effective. You have no control over what other people say or do. Your point of power lies in what you think and do. Own you power. Your power is in the present in this moment.
“• What do you need to change? • What have you been tolerating? • What supports your balance?
“…Saturn and Uranus are in a tense awkward angle. This energy can create tension in your body.
“One part of you wants to be free to change. The other part of you can be scared to take action. The result is discord. Practice Extreme Self Care. Take good care of you. This is a good time to get a massage. Do what releases your stress…”
“The Aquarius SuperMoon message is to take good care of you. These are crazy days. You don’t know what to expect next. It is easy to get off balance. Do what supports your balance. Use your intuition. Trust your gut instincts. Love you more than the need for approval. Strengthen your boundaries. Do not walk away from yourself.
“Accept the real you. Don’t hide your light. Shine your light. Love you more than the need for others to support you. You support you…Accept who you are. Accept other people for who they are.
Merge with your Soul Self and you will be successful. Be creative. Be wise as the serpent and harmless as the dove.
“Get daily physical exercise. This will help to release your tension and anxiety. This is not the astrology for being sedentary. You want to be building your strength. Go outdoors. Breathe the fresh air. Allow Mother Nature to nurture you. She can heal you. Release what no longer serves you.”
© Copyright 2014 ~ Kelley Rosano. All Rights Reserved

From the insightful  Dipali Desai from her Celestial Space Astrology:
“…the pressure is on to squeeze out emotions and stuck energy. There is also a symbolic pressure to transform stale or limiting perceptions which are fixated so the energy moves into a place of forgiveness and growth. 
“The main focus is taking responsibility for the choices, emotional reaction, perceptions and how you got to where you are rather than projecting the blame onto another or something out there.
“With Saturn in Scorpio creating a symbolic ‘tension’ aspect to the Full Moon in Aquarius and Mercury in Leo, this is a great time to concentrate, go deeply into a study or task as well as produce and accomplish a lasting change in habits to ensure empowerment.
“During this realistic symbolic mental ‘squeeze’ there is potential to able to zero in on extracting the core and truth rather than sitting in denial. This is very helpful if you are seeking to evolve and heal.”
“… It is possible to feel weighed down, heavy emotionally, slowed down as to be able to examine what keeps you from taking assertive action (what fears and anxieties) as well as old repeated inhibitions. Nothing is denied, just slowed down according to Divine Timing. Patience is a must.
“During the Full Moon in Aquarius, it is possible to notice some ‘inflamed’ issues heating up or coming to a peak. Serious choices have to be made and the courage to back them up.
“…There is potential contained within the Full Moon in Aquarius for clear realizations as the emotional gunk disperses. You have to be willing to seek the higher truth, not just the momentary or skewed version of the truth.
“So liberate yourself from the old habit which prevents you from really feeling emotional intimacy or an expansion of love.”
© Copyright 2014 ~ Dipali Desai. All Rights Reserved
And the wise Sarah Varcas from her Astro-Awakenings.uk:
“If we attend to painful feelings with a mind and heart that feeds off the drama and identifies with the pain then yes, our attention is problematic.
“If, however, we bring to painful feelings or issues a softened heart, a compassionate perspective, patience, insight and a desire to know the nature of pain so deeply that we actually know it right through and out the other side into freedom, then our attention becomes the path to liberation.
“We don’t have to look away from what hurts or what appears negative. This merely pushes it into the shadows ready to return another day. We can look at it, sit with it, feel it, fill it with compassionate awareness and, ultimately, heal it.
“Any inner resistance encountered at the time of this Moon provides a clue about where to focus our attention. If we can bring to it a penetrating awareness and a questioning attitude we can begin to unwrap the core beliefs which keep that resistance in place…”
“Thus healing begins through the application of gentle awareness and willingness to neither flinch nor falter in the face of our inner pain: compassion and endurance in equal measure lead us out of the labyrinth of mind and emotion, into the light of clarity and wisdom.”
© Copyright 2014 ~ Sarah Varcas All Rights Reserved


Tuesday, August 5, 2014

The Cauldron












Photo: THIS! From a vision my brother received after bath & meditation. Goddess Lakshmi -painted by my brother. Isn't she gorgeous???!!! Acrylic 24x36 canvas. #art #painting #canvas #goddess #lakshmi #abundance #joy #wealth #crown #life #water #blessings #diety


Mother Goddess Lakshmi by Artist Divine Claiborne

calling on mother goddess lakshmi and oshun, yemaya yemoja, oya
to whisk me up and away to better and higher. purer ground


 i just crossed a threshold over myself.
making changes is painful and scary
especially in the dark

building trust when you are used to being faithless
is worse than being tom snow of the guard
at the dark ridge with fire bone night people
without any of your kennel

and in the midst of fighting for myself and for what i want
i learned of some ugly things said about me

and still i come home feeling some kind of victorious

telling myself i have been here and through long enough
words of marauders are to be like water on a duck's back
pus from a cut that refuses to heal of a barren diabetic

i still marvel how one can strive to live with straight nose and back
just to be free and free spirited
and they will still say and find to talk about you
and it cant be indifferent, it must be the most salacious

this place is more treachery than I ever considered
i had a moment of wanting to fly to someone for comfort
to talk and tell and realized there is no one.
suffer it silently. enshrined and shrouded
it becomes another bar attained
another cloak covering acclaim

so i write
and write on fb
another window for another set
but this is my journal
i wonder if it is really just my life

our life as our own might be another delusion of this world

bad mind though
making me step further out myself
feeling to change a complete one hundred and eighty degrees
just to flounder and confound
the peanut gallery

and to find a new self.
there was a reason they sent me to fast today, ent?
perhaps
in preparation for all that cometh.

i just did not know.
all what was coming.

if you gonna write and talk bold of being a dakini
here is where the real struggle begins
are you bold enough to keep dancing
amidst the reviews of the crippled

this though.
my cousin warned me when i landed here
she told me mind who i hang with
the places i go
the company i keep
i felt it was like europe or america though
unknown and free
not so
here is the backlash

want to be on the curb
with the dogs
well...

make sure to keep flea powder
simple

no time for pity
and yuh say yuh done partying aready
so!

keep your big girls on
moving on


------------


you gotta go to deep dark places to get through to light.
let me tell you

faith and trust,
trust and faith

i am confronted with some real twisted thinking and living on my part
almost dont know how to contend
but must i shall


-------


crisis of faith, conscience, independence, interdependence, trust

when you are old and discover both your development and orientation are retarded, if not twisted.

saying you are alien and intergalactic no longer cuts it
you just see you grew up raised up turned up in a litter
sans some seriously critical pieces

and having to set it right
but first you need to break yourself

the breaking of self!
the breaking open of self
my god my gosh

feel like i am in church. living a sermon. i heard these words that describe my recent steps.
the cup is being emptied


-----------


self reflection and self orientation
strength and strong mindedness

i think i rival most of these males out here
and i and others have yet to see another such female.

breaking shells
smashing brigades
destroying all the bullshit
ideas of selves and selfies/self images


-----------


when someone is trying to break you
and you let them
cause you feel and believe
it is time to let some things go
to change in ways never before known
least of all considered

when you have to learn to go with the flow
that no man is an island
no more this wombmyn

when you start to think to believe
you are too selfish, self-centered, self-reflected

so you give yourself up at the altar
in the hopes your firing will bring a purifier

in faith and trust'
we hope
let it not be barren



Photo: There’s nothing liberating about pretending things didn’t happen. Look at them, embrace them, own them, and then move on.

Sidonie Bouchet © 2013

www.soletosoulsex.com

Artist: Katrina Birch

Phoenix Rising from the Fire and Firing


----------

dancing with devils

----------


it is indeed a pregnant time in the universe
"conform and comply"

the universe is telling me i wont get what i want unless...i change
the start of which is to conform and comply.

------

do you see the deep well and wellness of happiness the pregnant sister in the pic, carries, belies, effuses??? it is palpable to me...

this night
another message/another window



Photo: After a beautiful, melodious evening at  #Escape! #positivevibes #positivepeople #music #goodvibrations #IRey #IntoTheRed #fusion


-------------

  i think when the right person breaks you open you sit and be quiet.
you sit and soak in all your remnants, your spill, your mess
you dont run away. you dont get angry.
your supplication and quiet words may still speak for fairness and justice
but a meekness takes over
a yielding

this thing called woman is no joke
and wombmyn constantly give birth to their new selves. constantly

survival is a dynamic thing
all that is required to thrive
emerges and appears on the table
imbibe
no fasting



-------------------
 erasure of self for others
 Erasure of Self. To Make and Find a Purer Self. To Help Self. Help Others

-------------
i am at the point, brink and nexus where the conclusion is made that i know absolutely nothing about this life, how to live it and how to live (with people)

-------------



By Chris Slaughter
Haiku for Sade

If love is stronger
than pride, why does pride always
win? Words go unsaid.
>>>
 that is it.
i crushed my pride tonight
and set flame to my ego
in the hopes of finding rainbows
that werent there
only phoenix selves rising from ashes
and the reiki death of burdens and weights
fetters that keep me from flying


-------------

Andrew Sweeny:

"
There is something about the male psyche that would rather raze and burn down the whole earth till nothing but ashes remain rather than admit weakness, confess a certain vulnerability, touch the primal wound that would be his deliverance from meaningless rage, beer or football."

Monday, August 4, 2014

Mark Lewis June 25 2014 ---

A wild love exposes us. A wild love demands an honesty that rips every lie from our secret clutch. A wild love leaves no room for false identities or placating personalities. Like a howling wind that awakens our fears of being swept away, this force has the power to uncover all of our underground burrows. We cannot control this kind of current, nor should we try.
Instead we can honor the thing that derails our dishonesty. We can bow to it. We can say “Yes, I stand here and I will be an active and conscious participant in this process. I will not run in fear from you. I see myself in your fierce love. I meet your weighty gaze with an unwavering one. I will deny my own untamable spirit no more. You give me the courage to let the howling of my heart escape, at long last. I will not repress this. I will unleash it in honesty, with integrity and with a weighted caution and consideration of others but not at the cost of my own growth. My verity resounds with such a clarity it renders all questions about my sincerity obsolete. This gives me the faith I need to go forward.
This Sunday’s full moon is all yours, Aquarius. It’s all yours but that means all of the responsibility of bearing it is too. And most likely feeling like its bearing down on you. Pressure. The pressure builds in the spaces between who you are, whom you love and are in relationship with and how you show up in the world. Stress can force something unforeseen to emerge. That can be courage, calamity, clarity or consternation.
One thing is for sure, you aren’t hiding it as well as you think you are. That cool, calm and collected container you like to roll in is bound to feel more like a pressure cooker than a calm space to retreat to. Looks like you have some loved ones that want to help you break out of too too tightly tied tedium. Get strength from those that share it with you. Get married to your integrity by the minister of accountability. Get the map to freedom roads from those that have them tattooed on their feet.
For extra credit use Friday to ask your most intimate of partners for help. I know, this renders you vulnerable and that’s not generally an option but it’s on the ballot this week. I highly suggest that you vote for it.
*My work is entirely funded by my readers – by you – to keep this a community-driven advertising-free collective space. If you like what you read each week, if you find solace or inspiration in these words, or if you just appreciate the occasional pep talk, consider making a small monthly contribution to keep the art alive.
Pisces copy
- See more at: http://www.chaninicholas.com/831/#sthash.E3GDK5tw.dpuf
August 4, 2014


A wild love exposes us. A wild love demands an honesty that rips every lie from our secret clutch. A wild love leaves no room for false identities or placating personalities. Like a howling wind that awakens our fears of being swept away, this force has the power to uncover all of our underground burrows. We cannot control this kind of current, nor should we try.
Instead we can honor the thing that derails our dishonesty. We can bow to it. We can say “Yes, I stand here and I will be an active and conscious participant in this process. I will not run in fear from you. I see myself in your fierce love. I meet your weighty gaze with an unwavering one. I will deny my own untamable spirit no more. You give me the courage to let the howling of my heart escape, at long last. I will not repress this. I will unleash it in honesty, with integrity and with a weighted caution and consideration of others but not at the cost of my own growth. My verity resounds with such a clarity it renders all questions about my sincerity obsolete. This gives me the faith I need to go forward.
This Sunday’s full moon is all yours, Aquarius. It’s all yours but that means all of the responsibility of bearing it is too. And most likely feeling like its bearing down on you. Pressure. The pressure builds in the spaces between who you are, whom you love and are in relationship with and how you show up in the world. Stress can force something unforeseen to emerge. That can be courage, calamity, clarity or consternation.
One thing is for sure, you aren’t hiding it as well as you think you are. That cool, calm and collected container you like to roll in is bound to feel more like a pressure cooker than a calm space to retreat to. Looks like you have some loved ones that want to help you break out of too too tightly tied tedium. Get strength from those that share it with you. Get married to your integrity by the minister of accountability. Get the map to freedom roads from those that have them tattooed on their feet.
For extra credit use Friday to ask your most intimate of partners for help. I know, this renders you vulnerable and that’s not generally an option but it’s on the ballot this week. I highly suggest that you vote for it.
*My work is entirely funded by my readers – by you – to keep this a community-driven advertising-free collective space. If you like what you read each week, if you find solace or inspiration in these words, or if you just appreciate the occasional pep talk, consider making a small monthly contribution to keep the art alive.
Pisces copy
- See more at: http://www.chaninicholas.com/831/#sthash.E3GDK5tw.dpuf

A wild love exposes us. A wild love demands an honesty that rips every lie from our secret clutch. A wild love leaves no room for false identities or placating personalities. Like a howling wind that awakens our fears of being swept away, this force has the power to uncover all of our underground burrows. We cannot control this kind of current, nor should we try.
Instead we can honor the thing that derails our dishonesty. We can bow to it. We can say “Yes, I stand here and I will be an active and conscious participant in this process. I will not run in fear from you. I see myself in your fierce love. I meet your weighty gaze with an unwavering one. I will deny my own untamable spirit no more. You give me the courage to let the howling of my heart escape, at long last. I will not repress this. I will unleash it in honesty, with integrity and with a weighted caution and consideration of others but not at the cost of my own growth. My verity resounds with such a clarity it renders all questions about my sincerity obsolete. This gives me the faith I need to go forward.
This Sunday’s full moon is all yours, Aquarius. It’s all yours but that means all of the responsibility of bearing it is too. And most likely feeling like its bearing down on you. Pressure. The pressure builds in the spaces between who you are, whom you love and are in relationship with and how you show up in the world. Stress can force something unforeseen to emerge. That can be courage, calamity, clarity or consternation.
One thing is for sure, you aren’t hiding it as well as you think you are. That cool, calm and collected container you like to roll in is bound to feel more like a pressure cooker than a calm space to retreat to. Looks like you have some loved ones that want to help you break out of too too tightly tied tedium. Get strength from those that share it with you. Get married to your integrity by the minister of accountability. Get the map to freedom roads from those that have them tattooed on their feet.
For extra credit use Friday to ask your most intimate of partners for help. I know, this renders you vulnerable and that’s not generally an option but it’s on the ballot this week. I highly suggest that you vote for it.
*My work is entirely funded by my readers – by you – to keep this a community-driven advertising-free collective space. If you like what you read each week, if you find solace or inspiration in these words, or if you just appreciate the occasional pep talk, consider making a small monthly contribution to keep the art alive.
- See more at: http://www.chaninicholas.com/831/#sthash.E3GDK5tw.dpufhttp://www.chaninicholas.com/831/

Aquarius & Aquarius Rising

A wild love exposes us. A wild love demands an honesty that rips every lie from our secret clutch. A wild love leaves no room for false identities or placating personalities. Like a howling wind that awakens our fears of being swept away, this force has the power to uncover all of our underground burrows. We cannot control this kind of current, nor should we try.
Instead we can honor the thing that derails our dishonesty. We can bow to it. We can say “Yes, I stand here and I will be an active and conscious participant in this process. I will not run in fear from you. I see myself in your fierce love. I meet your weighty gaze with an unwavering one. I will deny my own untamable spirit no more. You give me the courage to let the howling of my heart escape, at long last. I will not repress this. I will unleash it in honesty, with integrity and with a weighted caution and consideration of others but not at the cost of my own growth. My verity resounds with such a clarity it renders all questions about my sincerity obsolete. This gives me the faith I need to go forward.
This Sunday’s full moon is all yours, Aquarius. It’s all yours but that means all of the responsibility of bearing it is too. And most likely feeling like its bearing down on you. Pressure. The pressure builds in the spaces between who you are, whom you love and are in relationship with and how you show up in the world. Stress can force something unforeseen to emerge. That can be courage, calamity, clarity or consternation.
One thing is for sure, you aren’t hiding it as well as you think you are. That cool, calm and collected container you like to roll in is bound to feel more like a pressure cooker than a calm space to retreat to. Looks like you have some loved ones that want to help you break out of too too tightly tied tedium. Get strength from those that share it with you. Get married to your integrity by the minister of accountability. Get the map to freedom roads from those that have them tattooed on their feet.
For extra credit use Friday to ask your most intimate of partners for help. I know, this renders you vulnerable and that’s not generally an option but it’s on the ballot this week. I highly suggest that you vote for it.
*My work is entirely funded by my readers – by you – to keep this a community-driven advertising-free collective space. If you like what you read each week, if you find solace or inspiration in these words, or if you just appreciate the occasional pep talk, consider making a small monthly contribution to keep the art alive.
- See more at: http://www.chaninicholas.com/831/#sthash.E3GDK5tw.dpuf

Aquarius & Aquarius Rising

A wild love exposes us. A wild love demands an honesty that rips every lie from our secret clutch. A wild love leaves no room for false identities or placating personalities. Like a howling wind that awakens our fears of being swept away, this force has the power to uncover all of our underground burrows. We cannot control this kind of current, nor should we try.
Instead we can honor the thing that derails our dishonesty. We can bow to it. We can say “Yes, I stand here and I will be an active and conscious participant in this process. I will not run in fear from you. I see myself in your fierce love. I meet your weighty gaze with an unwavering one. I will deny my own untamable spirit no more. You give me the courage to let the howling of my heart escape, at long last. I will not repress this. I will unleash it in honesty, with integrity and with a weighted caution and consideration of others but not at the cost of my own growth. My verity resounds with such a clarity it renders all questions about my sincerity obsolete. This gives me the faith I need to go forward.
This Sunday’s full moon is all yours, Aquarius. It’s all yours but that means all of the responsibility of bearing it is too. And most likely feeling like its bearing down on you. Pressure. The pressure builds in the spaces between who you are, whom you love and are in relationship with and how you show up in the world. Stress can force something unforeseen to emerge. That can be courage, calamity, clarity or consternation.
One thing is for sure, you aren’t hiding it as well as you think you are. That cool, calm and collected container you like to roll in is bound to feel more like a pressure cooker than a calm space to retreat to. Looks like you have some loved ones that want to help you break out of too too tightly tied tedium. Get strength from those that share it with you. Get married to your integrity by the minister of accountability. Get the map to freedom roads from those that have them tattooed on their feet.
For extra credit use Friday to ask your most intimate of partners for help. I know, this renders you vulnerable and that’s not generally an option but it’s on the ballot this week. I highly suggest that you vote for it.
*My work is entirely funded by my readers – by you – to keep this a community-driven advertising-free collective space. If you like what you read each week, if you find solace or inspiration in these words, or if you just appreciate the occasional pep talk, consider making a small monthly contribution to keep the art alive.
- See more at: http://www.chaninicholas.com/831/#sthash.E3GDK5tw.dpuf

Aquarius & Aquarius Rising

A wild love exposes us. A wild love demands an honesty that rips every lie from our secret clutch. A wild love leaves no room for false identities or placating personalities. Like a howling wind that awakens our fears of being swept away, this force has the power to uncover all of our underground burrows. We cannot control this kind of current, nor should we try.
Instead we can honor the thing that derails our dishonesty. We can bow to it. We can say “Yes, I stand here and I will be an active and conscious participant in this process. I will not run in fear from you. I see myself in your fierce love. I meet your weighty gaze with an unwavering one. I will deny my own untamable spirit no more. You give me the courage to let the howling of my heart escape, at long last. I will not repress this. I will unleash it in honesty, with integrity and with a weighted caution and consideration of others but not at the cost of my own growth. My verity resounds with such a clarity it renders all questions about my sincerity obsolete. This gives me the faith I need to go forward.
This Sunday’s full moon is all yours, Aquarius. It’s all yours but that means all of the responsibility of bearing it is too. And most likely feeling like its bearing down on you. Pressure. The pressure builds in the spaces between who you are, whom you love and are in relationship with and how you show up in the world. Stress can force something unforeseen to emerge. That can be courage, calamity, clarity or consternation.
One thing is for sure, you aren’t hiding it as well as you think you are. That cool, calm and collected container you like to roll in is bound to feel more like a pressure cooker than a calm space to retreat to. Looks like you have some loved ones that want to help you break out of too too tightly tied tedium. Get strength from those that share it with you. Get married to your integrity by the minister of accountability. Get the map to freedom roads from those that have them tattooed on their feet.
For extra credit use Friday to ask your most intimate of partners for help. I know, this renders you vulnerable and that’s not generally an option but it’s on the ballot this week. I highly suggest that you vote for it.
*My work is entirely funded by my readers – by you – to keep this a community-driven advertising-free collective space. If you like what you read each week, if you find solace or inspiration in these words, or if you just appreciate the occasional pep talk, consider making a small monthly contribution to keep the art alive.
- See more at: http://www.chaninicholas.com/831/#sthash.E3GDK5tw.dpuf

Aquarius & Aquarius Rising

A wild love exposes us. A wild love demands an honesty that rips every lie from our secret clutch. A wild love leaves no room for false identities or placating personalities. Like a howling wind that awakens our fears of being swept away, this force has the power to uncover all of our underground burrows. We cannot control this kind of current, nor should we try.
Instead we can honor the thing that derails our dishonesty. We can bow to it. We can say “Yes, I stand here and I will be an active and conscious participant in this process. I will not run in fear from you. I see myself in your fierce love. I meet your weighty gaze with an unwavering one. I will deny my own untamable spirit no more. You give me the courage to let the howling of my heart escape, at long last. I will not repress this. I will unleash it in honesty, with integrity and with a weighted caution and consideration of others but not at the cost of my own growth. My verity resounds with such a clarity it renders all questions about my sincerity obsolete. This gives me the faith I need to go forward.
This Sunday’s full moon is all yours, Aquarius. It’s all yours but that means all of the responsibility of bearing it is too. And most likely feeling like its bearing down on you. Pressure. The pressure builds in the spaces between who you are, whom you love and are in relationship with and how you show up in the world. Stress can force something unforeseen to emerge. That can be courage, calamity, clarity or consternation.
One thing is for sure, you aren’t hiding it as well as you think you are. That cool, calm and collected container you like to roll in is bound to feel more like a pressure cooker than a calm space to retreat to. Looks like you have some loved ones that want to help you break out of too too tightly tied tedium. Get strength from those that share it with you. Get married to your integrity by the minister of accountability. Get the map to freedom roads from those that have them tattooed on their feet.
For extra credit use Friday to ask your most intimate of partners for help. I know, this renders you vulnerable and that’s not generally an option but it’s on the ballot this week. I highly suggest that you vote for it.
*My work is entirely funded by my readers – by you – to keep this a community-driven advertising-free collective space. If you like what you read each week, if you find solace or inspiration in these words, or if you just appreciate the occasional pep talk, consider making a small monthly contribution to keep the art alive.
- See more at: http://www.chaninicholas.com/831/#sthash.E3GDK5tw.dpuf

Considering Reparations. I say, August 4, 2014

First time I am putting this out in public.
I have never before seen this structured in this schemata>
Nor have I ever heard any expert, thinker, novice or researcher consider these elements.

So if you ever hear or read of this, Know that I just wrote this Publicly, but been thinking  of this since 2007 when I visited Nigeria. Refining and Clarifying since









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"i have been thinking about Reparations for a long time and moreso in recent weeks. my high school friend is a big time international reparations attorney.. silently. one of those things that shift ground but many know nothing of it.

But recently i have constructed that reparations first and foremost must look at and correct Haiti. France and the EU must repay the billions of dollars France stole and bullied from Haiti in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. Then for her impoverishment all these many decades after

Must repay continental and diaspora Africa for colonialism. Must include colonialism first of all. and the legacy thereof, after.

Then account for the loss of human capital in the thieving maiming and destroying of a trajectory never to know or reclaim, in the loss of bodies to trauma.

The Crossing Over than i can no longer remember what we used to call that. AH. The Middle Passage.

and then lovely as you put it Alexander: The Cycle of Destitution and Pathologies. Excellent title. And there is an economic theory that explains that. It is called Circular and Cumulative Causation Theory!!!

the shit is REAL!
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Maven MDHuggins, PhD