Crazy does Inhabit the Earth

The following is a compilation of exchanges and communications between two different women.
One, a crazy woman who went off the deep end for seemingly nothing..telling me --that i am really a white man" and me writing this to a good friend...and she sharing her use or value of my mindset to her life..

but I share this with the world because how crazy we would be, all of us in the world, if we were to allow other people's ignorance to define and explain us to ourselves.
 but at the same token, other people's words do give us some clues as to where we are, what we are about, and how we fit or don't fit. I am very grateful for where I am. Very elated learning about my writing through other people's eyes. me: mystical magical realism surrealist shapeshifter in the form of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Sandra Cisneros and Jose Luis Borges and Dan Brown.

I am anything and everything; and destabilizing and traumatizing the small minded folks around me.

0-----------------



Interesting, Enlightening and Amusing all at the same time/ I am my own Solar System

a crazy bitch of a woman posted this on her stream to me. out of now where, i guess cause I ignored her.

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Indijean Wilder I am licensed to teach in 3 countries, and each of them require continuing education. Is there a state that doesn't?
Education Nation
Sunday at 10:08pm via Education Nation · Comment · LikeUnlike

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Indijean Wilder
ewwww, gosh, this comment is in response to "Dan", who insinuated (based on my picture no doubt) that I was not up to par with general teaching standards and stated that he had attended the "best" university and grad school, again insinuati...ng that I did not.

What the hell is going on with the constant trend of white guys that jump in to criticize me with their negative, untrue and irrelevant bullshit? I'm aware of the intimidation factor, but I'd like to know how to stop them from starting with me.See More
Sunday at 10:31pm · LikeUnlike
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Maven Huggins girl. do what i did. no pic. and id as a male. my shit factor is way down. then there is just banal ignorance...can't get away from that...i knew this animal when i started, on a couple a levels
Sunday at 10:44pm · LikeUnlike
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Indijean Wilder To Dan: I'm going to sic my white male lawyer friends on you.
Sunday at 10:44pm · LikeUnlike
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Indijean Wilder No, Maven, I don't want to do that. I don't want to hide from them. I just wish I could hit them with a big stick.
Sunday at 10:45pm · LikeUnlike
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Maven Huggins well. there you go doing the same thing they do. insinuate and assume/ sigh
Sunday at 10:45pm · LikeUnlike
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Indijean Wilder How?
Sunday at 10:46pm · LikeUnlike
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Maven Huggins
hiding would be not to engage. i just chose not to advertise a face in a very sexist patriarchal biased context and country and surroundings, where I am. i chose to pronounce my ideas and commentary rather than looks. it was very calculated.... that and a hedge against identity theft.

hiding/no.
especially since most people who i engage with or even introduce, as i did with you, my full and real identity

how in heaven is that hiding

i will presume you were in automatic mode n that responseSee More
Sunday at 10:48pm · LikeUnlike
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Indijean Wilder You mean on any specific thread that's not the usual FB thread?
Sunday at 10:49pm · LikeUnlike
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Indijean Wilder Maven, I re-read the posts. No, I wasn't insinuating that you are/were hiding. No. I was speaking about myself, changing my pic to something else, so that people can't see me. For you, that would be cool. For me, that would be hiding. For my professional endeavors, I have to have a thick skin and the ability to maintain.
Sunday at 11:57pm · LikeUnlike
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Maven Huggins respect. cool
wish you strength for your journey and interactions
Yesterday at 12:00am · LikeUnlike
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Indijean Wilder
Your reaction to my comments was not that of another black woman or even a white woman. To be sure, I read many of your postings. I also read your Notes where you describe yourself as a black woman from Trinidad, that you have "red brown co...coa color, soft looking but hard nappy hair" WTF? We don't say that. At all. You are not the spiritualist you claim to be. But I am. You are a white man that doesn't really like any black people. Some people use an icon instead of a picture because they want to; people like you don't have an accurate picture. I have no idea what enjoyment you get out of being an imposter on FB and pretending that you are a black woman. You should try honing your bs skills a little better though: stop using 'big' words amongst your contrived bad grammar that you imagine makes you sound like a black woman.See More
9 hours ago · LikeUnlike
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Maven Huggins
you must be a batty crazy

""red brown co...coa color, soft looking but hard nappy hair"

you never read that shit on my page creeper
...red and brown dont go together. then red brown and cocoa
my hair is not nappy. people think it nappy, it is soft.
stupid wretch

get a grip/ you read my notes and that is the corner of roach shit you come out with ???

you have no idea how stupid utterly stupid you read

all because i ignored your stupid ass

you are also very ignorant about anything outside the cubby hole you were born and grew up in.

"we dont say that"
who the hell is we, BAT?

LOL
i cant laugh enough
thanks for deleting yourself,. saves me the time taking out the trash


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Apollonia Mack:

Maven, i shall forever remain your friend...lollll...oh gosh, my sides hurt.
A girl called me with all the troubles in the world about a man that she has been complaining about for ten friggin years. I told her that I am not giving her any ears, thought or advice about that matter because she does not pay heed to anyone but him. Well the lady called me a 'man-hater'. So I used one of your phrases on the tramp...."Go out and re-enter and pray my name" and I hung the phone up. Then I had a good laugh and thanked the heavens for Maven.

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me:

LOL
that sounds too rich

am i crazy. or did that lady go off the deep end???
and twisting what she read on paper,. you know

it also makes me think several things">

if someone thinks me a white male and to be this petite chocolate black female walking around in a curly afro, then I am doing plenty RIght

then i think, my writing. and someone else alerted me to this just days ago. said my writing was like gabriel garcia marquez. (Kendall Kendrick So much like Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Keep writing , sister, keep writing!)  and i realize for her to go into my writing and come out talking and writing shit indicates that i am not literal, you ought not reference me unless you understand i am writing magical realism/surrealist ...and then i am often either on another sphere or coming out of a dream.

but i thought she is literally not metaphorically crazy
----------------------

Apollonia Mack

she is praising you...the dumb fool...and yes I saw the comment "Gabriel Garcia Marquez" and I googled...that person was right on the nail.
A young girl next door has you style of writing..she is 19..her birthday is tom'w and her friends lovingly call her the seer-woman and mad'oman.
keep on doing your do hon but keep the veil over...
hence the reason i cannot post your writings on my wall unless i used your name...intelligent persons know your style of wording.


 --------------------------
 me:

this woman's words keep occurring to me at different and growing deeper levels

she really really compliment me like you say you know...what just hit me is that she went off like that because I did not go off like most black women she knows do...you know the railing, the racism flag, the anger against the cracker...it is deep for real.

i did not act like a half cocked raging black woman angry against the world so i could not possibly be a black woman. wow.

too deep.
revelations on identity: markers and signifiers

Dada, dada and husband

keep having very palpable and real dreams of family and food. and each dream always has an ancestor. this morning when i awoke minutes before eight, for the first time, remembered, if ever, I was dreaming about Dada. he had a new baby grandson and everyone was calling the baby Dada. I left them in the living room putti...ng baby on Dada's chest and went to get my phone camera to take a picture and got embroiled in food instead, thinking it would be nice to return with food for me and Dada. I forgot the phone in the dream. in wake and remembrance though, i realized it was my current pink and iph; no mistaken that; the mix of bizarre pieces of a dream. what was also bizarre was my coming husband was someone else's husband in the dream; with that person's blessings. weird huh? hnnh.

but the significant part to the dream was Dada appearing and i never dreaming about him. but last night as i was praying the ancestors and giving thanks before i out the candle. I called Dada's name, I never call Dada's name. Only call the women's name. the women of power and ability in my family who came before me. Them and Pa Neezer was the only man who fit that bill of powers and abilities. But last night, I called Dada's name. Last night, close before sleep, even though it is quite this morning the dream..

ah boy
Family, Food and Ancestors (are the answers?)

 

 

family, food and ancestors - Google Search

www.google.tt

This Eddie Long Story is a Trove of Theory...Musing...Saturday September 25, 2010

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=520315147&v=wall&story_fbid=120712401316061#!/notes/mamiwata-healerssociety/the-messiah-complex-brief-history-of-the-origins-of-black-preachers-in-america/10150265890780293

1. this story leads me to identify an issue of parents guiding, sending and enrolling their children into ways and means to be used by others

2., the predominance of single black mothers as parents in this story

3. the feminization of men and boys, coming from predominantly single black mother households

4. and above...the messiah complex/black preachers and

5. the church as a hotbed of sexuality

to me it is a peeling back and off the layers of lies and delusions we tell ourselves.

its deep../i am sorry i could not finesse this post...as i am rushing to get to a wake; and this is the second writing. and i am tired and having to rush that the info does not leave me again..

more later///just documenting the thought


this eddie long story, i just was thinking in the bath, would be a great opportunity to do some deep investigations, theorizing, excavating...but laugh at me...i am having a hard day...cant repeat of what exactly...

Favored Symphonies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fil7raJb4mY

Cathedrals, Chandeliers, Wood, Men, Family => Home

so many thoughts, a friend request from an unknown, no content, no mutual friends and a pulling name, Marie Rose. I thank whomever is behind that seemingly fake profile for the beautiful picture of me--a Mother, a Maria, spirit woman healer, in blue, and with child.

second, Barack is talking and there is a news white o...ut. Nothing going on but the man.

third, i was so completely far away in a dream that the phone rang three times evidently, and i never heard it the first time. heard it the last time, while still in the dream, and only waking up at its persistent ring. i never have the ringer on. it gave me something to think about. i usually sleep light. but not when i travel

in that dream seems i was having family and very close friends (family) over and someone, a man said something...but for the life of me i cannot go back to see or remember who that man was and he mentioned something about the use of space or where things were, and i told him go ahead and realign me...and he moved my furniture. first of all i seemed to live in a massive beautiful wood structure of an open floor plan. in what would (wood) be cathedral ceilings, patterned as if there were waves,..when the dream was interrupted, i was sitting on the sofa admiring how beautiful the place was and thinking to myself, i will get a chandelier for there, the great room, and really clearly having a sense that i could not afford it right then...but it was right before putting away all these amazing foreign expensive white wines, from Germany, France. wines with unbelievable whole front labels--you know the labels of expensive as hell never open wines..in foreign language...and one was in a blue bottle, already opened, and another one i looked at...someone had unloaded them so i was deciding to leave them in the rack or what to put in the fridge.

and i remember my bed being moved from one place to what would seem to be the living room and there were a gathering of men, and i would swear my father seemed to be there in the midst of all, the one on the edge, but that is almost an impossibility, and it would seem that it was the women with me in the sideboard...but that is not clear..but my layout was odd..bedroom in great room, and sideboards and chaise lounge close together but no vision of the kitchen, and then we were in another side room that opened out via grand french doors (but you did not see what type of doors) and we were deciding where to put that other bed.) Like both beds were mine...like i sleep in both at the same time, mine

But when I woke up from the dream, I could not remember the start of the dream and I know there was a start. And i am also clear that i had a sense of completeness in that dream, a spiritual emotional life completeness that was striking...

So i wake up again, from another dream emphasizing 'family' to know my salvation and future, as was my origin, resides within, there, and with them

I feel sorry for those who wish to be in my life but cannot be; such was the person calling me. I am elsewhere

 

 

Sunday Reminders

‎"Hi Dahlin:



I'm happy to hear that you've been blessed to observe the madness "stir
...around" you and not to have it be your experience. Oh, Melise, God is
sooooo Good. Remember always that God is in Charge and All is Well.
Be Open, and expectant, and even as you're expecting those perfect
outcomes, continually give thanks for all the small and big blessings
you have right now. May I be so presumptuous as to list a few:

* We are thankful that you have choices about where to live, both continentally, locally, and geographically.

* We are thankful that you have a wonderful second mother who allows you to just be.

* We are of course thankful that you are healthy

* We are thankful that you can make a living for yourself, so you never have to be beholden to anyone --- because you are so damn educated and talented

* We are thankful that you know how to laugh and appreciate God's glory within and around you



Well, I've merely scratched the surface of your many NOW blessings. Enjoy all the others.

Have a great Sunday and a most productive and inspiring new week. Hey
Melise have you ever considered the university in TT or elsewhere in the
Caribbean? Just checking.

Okay, over and out.



Jackie"

Activist: Just a Model Citizen

 this comment was posted on fb. And I responded thus, by response one and two. thought it a good write up for blog, so here it is.

 

Jamela Khan I may be laughing but truth is I am weeping.....
where were all the activists in the last 7 years??? Look at the state we are in???

 Response One:

what do you call an activist?
i know two for sure. Wayne and Peter; Burton included/...anybody i saw getting hauled off for standing up for something; anybody peddling a certain view point in public full view (FB does not count)...Verna, Haz...el

people representing a voiceless segment of the population or representing a different idea than the status quo...in public platform...

who fits that description?

and why for just the seven years? was life wonderful before then?
were women not getting chopped like meat? Children not being preyed upon? an entrenchment of a twisted politic; did that not take hold before a seven years? was corruption, smartmen and the women who support them not the policy and practice before seven years?

PEA wrote a note "identify the corruption" or something like that...listing all the kakalang bachhanal...a list long so (make move to arm) lol

trying to understand that framework you offer in the post
cultures, religions, ideologies and society of materialism, status, money and position reigned/reigns...how do activist fit in that?

are you suggesting they, the activists would have been good at turning things around.

why is Verna so silent? where is she, by the way?
thanks for reminding me my to do list for today...

Response Two:

how! and shall said activists change the way every single citizen behaves, thinks and comports in this country? get educated, not in school or book, but in knowing how to live; that teaches people cleanliness, civility, kindness, care, for environment, for their homes, for the streets on which they live, to package and store their environments so their surroundings are not health hazards of scorn: that would teach said persons, all, how to parent, how to be an adult and not just grown children killing themselves and other innocents on the road, those who wish to no longer cleave to them in relationships, or more importantly, know the responsibility of being a citizen, its function and form in a nation. what it means democracy. and how to vote accordingly...

hm
seems I have just written myself from activist to citizen. citizen to person. and what kind, form and ;level of function

we need to start making the burden too much to bear and projecting other responsibilities to others. if we all do our individual part, we would never be here. Never.

but, plenty people say, folk just reach so give them a chance. i just find it peculiar, they reach, after 48 years, but no everything but sense and common sense.

give the activist time to know themselves...maybe the 1.8 million of them will emerge soon enough

;)

Work, Policy, Governance and Government in Trinidad and Tobago, September 2010

Really quite confused this morning.

Between consultant gigs where people really don't want to be successful and thorough; just do superficial cross off the lists tasks. And in that, I see trinidad.

Then I begin to read the papers... and I am flabbergasted. Myriad persons: doctors,
...IT specialists, economists, thinkers, policy writers and problem solvers writing ideas in social and public media, clamoring for work to contribute to nation and capacity, posts in government ministries to write the tertiary education policy, (do you know they took a document written/scratched in 2004 and had non-specialists, anybody, give feedback and that is our 2010/2011 policy document to the EU?), write an integrated agricultural development plan, structure a consistent national clean up plan, develop employment programs for youth, redress and relocate the watershed flood plane, or contribute to the nation's economic restructuring; A myriad of Intents, and needs, gone unheard and ignored by this government. Posts empty. Work undone. Government Stagnancy

EXCEPT

...to hire media people to perfect the message. One may very well ask and wonder: Message of What? But that twist and conversion, where down is up and up is down, and the attendance to the external and superficial rather than internal, content, and real effect is disturbing beyond words. And all I see when i pause to ponder, what this really means--are visions of Alice in Wonderland.

Actions are your policy. Tell your value and Show your Intention>
Work, Policy, Governance and Government in Trinidad and Tobago, September 2010

Wow Who Knew?
you want to help your country? Gone are the days of Engineering, Policy, Practice and Thought. In are Spin, Weave, Lies, Stories and PR, sashes and waves, platforms, trucks and processions. Media. Blows my mind. Guess I better line up for a Social Media PP Client

Johnson to head Govt’s info unit | The Trinidad Guardian

guardian.co.tt


-----------------

think i am weaving, close to seeing a theory and path of undevelopment--when you take people out of their posts, out of their expertise, out of the industry, space and relevance of their contribution and relevance, placing them in areas that are outside their solutions, thinking, other than the fact that, "they look good", "create a nice veneer", or "send out the needed message"...we retard our process. When the right people are not placed in the right positions...and Right does not mean who makes you feel good and comfortable, but who pushes and prods you to emerge...we create stagnancy. we stop the movement of water. we corrupt, cloud and mystify direction and purpose; we jerk chains, but alter nothing of substance

memes you can believe in.

Reading this spurred these ideas to a conclusion:

"Dear Editor/Head of News,

Re: http://guardian.co.tt/news/politics/2010/09/14/johnson-head-govt-s-info-unit
Whatever congratulations I might extend to my brethren [Andy Johnson and Clevon Raphael, regarding their new positions, respectively, as CEO of GISL and Special Adviser to the AG], I must temper with a tinge of sadness, for journalism in Trinidad and Tobago will be much poorer for their mutations. So! Andy! Clevon! It's up to you: to add lustre to my encomia. You will so augment if the same independence and fearlessness you used in your long and illustrious career are now applied in your alter egos.
Bless!

Richard Wm. Thomas,
5rivers.kid.publik@gmail.com
Five Rivers,
Arouca,
Trinidad and Tobago."

Love, Friends, God, Reunions and Romance

by Maven Huggins on Sunday, January 10, 2010 at 3:29am

Part Two:

"Hi Lady:

I'm happy you enjoyed your Holidays and I'm wishing you a most glorious 2010. So where is my hand-painted ceramic vase/plate/bowl/stuff? I know you're creating an extremely beautiful piece just for me so I'm not going to give you a terribly hard time

I thought of all the dear souls in my life although I did not send out my mass mailing of a New Year wish. I still have time and will see if the mood moves me. The good thing is that I'm always wishing these dear souls the very best all year round.

Well, Jeuneille surprised me with a visit at 3am on Sunday morning after Christmas, so that was the highlight of my holidays. We had a great visit and did our usual Resolution K run on New Year's eve. We had big fun for the time she was here and she returned to NY on New Year's Day. She's a good soul with a huge heart. She is God's child I tell yuh.

So, my dear still wishing you all the best for your best life. I'm supposed to be planning a reunion in 2010 (spoke with Carole, Junie and Vlad over the holidays and they're all on board). The place will be East Lansing since that's where we all met and stomped. I'll begin at some point by sending out a few dates to people to get a
> sense of what works. And, I'll have to make it very very clear that this union/getting together is NOT for people to advertise their academic/professional/marital achievements, but a space where we can all be silly, laugh, dance, remember good times, kick back and have a couple of days of FUN. This will NOT be a show and tell session.

Okay, I'll keep you posted.

Nuff love Sweetie.

Have a beautiful day and weekend.

May we all be tuned in to the spaces that 2010 present for pure love -- love that's not obiligatory and not expectant -- just the simple flow of energy that comes from within
one's core. And may we remember to see the joy in a simple "I love you" even as
much as we see it in a sunset or sunrise, a flower, our reflection, a song, yes,
a song. Simply, we ARE the very thing that we are told to want.

Your Big Sis,
Jackie
-----------------

Two things, the EL reunion being silly and returning to days when we met sound glorious.
would be great to bring in our old dj's...Heran and a friend I have here, maybe....that is a stretch.
Second, I am so for this is not show and tell, cause one, I never hitched the bandwagon, never got on the professional train, and really all but ditched everything I attained, and climbing down in to the commons...
doing beekeeping, artists, growing food...just be-ing.. God and Good.

So that fits me fine.
can we go further and pop anybody who asks us about what last we published, or where we are working now?

lol
smile

--------------------

"Sweetie, if ever there was a soul I knew who oozes romance and love it is Lady Melise. I honestly believe that God allows us to put ourselves through silences and spates of idleness all in preparation for appreciation for each piece of beautiful that we claim.

Melise, I acknowledge that this 2010 will be the year that your love gives birth to a beauty that you've only imagined. I will not try to anticipate what it will look like or rather how it will be packaged.

I just know that for all of the love you hold in you it just has to overflow into a well that is waiting and being prepared for its birth outside of yourself.

Thanks for never giving up on God and Good and romance.

I like the idea of old DJs which I'm sure we can arrange, and if your buddy from TT can make it that would be grand. Oh yeah, I will be issuing permission slips for the serious popping of anyone who asks about or volunteers information regarding publications, promotions, awards, and such. If the news people are bringing have nothing to do with laughter, down right foolishness, music, even Obama topics, then
that is NOT news that we want shared at this reunion. I'll be sharing the actual wording for invites when time permits.

Okay dahlin, let us keep our wings positioned in flight -- as I've always said, "There is none so beautiful as a woman in flight, clip her wings and she will wither to ugliness."

Nuff love Babe, enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Big Sis,
Jackie


"talk about love flowing...right here
nice messages!
Gosh!
thanks for telling and reminding me about myself
i don;t know I have ever told myself I am such a romantic, at least not in recent years
but it is true. Gees, overly sickeningly so.
I wish i could hold you to your prophecy, it is way long overdue
and sometimes it down right aches/ no one understands,
but that is the life

cheers


Part One


"Hey Huggins, please tell me you're not still crying over my last email with thoughts. I know you lady; you're such a romantic, but that's good; it keeps us close to God."

"sharing something with a special soul"
"Hello Lady,

I've attached something that I know only you would appreciate. Read, smile, DO NOT analyze, then delete. Consider it a piece of beautiful from one romantic to another. I remain committed to enjoying each of God's many blessings. It seems the older I get the more powerful they hit me."

Thankful and Thoughtful

I am so thankful and thoughtful about a most beautiful Christmas holiday I experienced in 2009 and about the bliss that continued into 2010. What is particularly interesting is that I had to continually give myself permission to cherish, embrace, and bask in my feelings of love, joy, and at times ecstasy. Quietly, we each wish or want for experiences that bring out our pure joy, our pure bliss. Yet, when the circumstances arise to ignite its flow, we hesitate, question, and even attempt escape. Something as simple and as beautiful as the flood of such emotions cannot be truly wished away, but too much pondering and hesitation can taint it. On December 5th 2009, I renewed correspondence with a distant soul, whom I always believed to be a friend. From that date to now I have not stopped smiling, feeling beautiful, gleefully basking in every small detail of my surroundings and internal quivers. Naturally and gently these feelings have unfolded and I welcomed their manifestation without hesitation in just about every medium that bridges the distance between two vulnerable hearts across several borders. Not wanting to define my feelings – this happiness that bubbled up within me and poured out through smiles, sweet whispers, and songs, oh, so many songs – for fear of limiting what it really was, I focused not so much on what it was but on what IT was doing to me. These were beautiful feelings that had been awakened in me. Any fear about these feelings had quietly disappeared, and I felt alive as a soul and as a woman. I am thankful that I did not hesitate too much. I am thankful for what these feelings mean and will reveal. I am thankful that on December 5th I renewed this friendship. It brought me face to face with a love I have always had inside of me – a love that needed release – a love that needed to breathe. I am thankful for this bliss and for the beauty that it will lead me to. Blessings are not always packaged in the season of celebration, but aware of your joy you will see past the wrapping to the beauty that could only be God letting you know that you are LOVE – even as a single woman of almost 51.... "

Comment · · Share

• Tom Pavlovski-Sewe likes this.
• • 

    Tom Pavlovski-Sewe you two are tight like carbon atoms in a benzene ring.. how she loves u like a fat kid loves cake! lol :))

     

    Maven Huggins LOL
    you take me way back...
    to Tuskegee University...
    where I went to go to Vet School..
    but was such a party girl for my bachelors, i did another two years of classes to raise my cumulative avg...
    ...studying all the hard science courses I eschewed earlier: Organic, Inorganic Chemistry, Calculus, Physics...
    
    "Carbon atoms in a benzene ring"
    LOL
    Sewe, we need to explore what living that mutuality would be like...
    
    lol
    on the metaphors. you make me laugh and feel cool...like the traveler in the desert needed water and an oasis this moment ♥

Miracles, Impossibilities, Probabilities, One Chain One Humanity of Oblivion

 The following are quotes from Dick Cavett's blogcolumn in NYTimes, Saturday, September 11, 2010./I was amused to see how this column and subject related to my morning thought:

 "pondering the thought of watching and observing life, to understand life, while at the same time hurling like in a slolom to oblivion, the alteration, end, suspension, alter parallel of life.."

 

 

----

"Near the end of his talk, he refers to you and me as belonging to a species called “astronomically improbables.”  Hasn’t almost everyone, sooner or later, hit upon the realization  that because you have two parents, four grandparents, eight  great-grandparents and so on into near-infinity, you are related to
practically everyone on earth?"

"He pointed out that we each have millions of ancestors and that, at birth, your sex is determined randomly."..." If any single one of that galaxy of ancestors had chanced to have a different sex, you would not be here to read this."

"how many ancestors can the brain conceive to count and number?"

"Yet another point of view: we are born in the bowels of exploding stars. The atoms in our DNA were created in supernovas. You could say that  there's a little bit of us shared all over the universe."

"And I am equally glad all those ancestors found their way to make me, because I am very glad to be here, alive,...(but am i alive for a purpose, or if just as a star, just is, just to be. that is all nothing more?)

And from this exploration, who all are our ancestors? And do we all have the same ancestors? And how are individual creation stories changed with interplanetary integrations; those of/from "parallel universes"?

And can those to be born, whose parents choose differently, can they haunt and spirit attach, curse and collide a life?

Last night on LKLive, one of the guest said you can not return ore review time to the point that once existed, which was proving the point that our perception of linear time is a fallacy and that it is possible that my old self already exists somewhere (parallel universe), and that the entities who would have been given rise to, would their parents have chosen differently, do too exist...?

"the singular individuality of a genetic code" ; yet, "why I am me and not someone else", leading to "the probability of me" but "probability can only be calculated for events which have not as yet happened" which leads me to ponder the names attached to specific genetic codes, probabilities; some of us are new never before (Melise) yet old; others are repetitions (Janes, Michaels...)?

Hm. this all leads to the miracle of our existence (http://www.positiveatheism.org/writ/dawkins3.htm#ANAESTHETIC); and the miraculous randomness of that existence

and funny. this morning i woke up pondering the thought of watching and observing life, to understand life, while at the same time hurling like in a slolom to oblivion, the alteration, end, suspension, alter parallel of life..

but this ends best taken the idea into idealism...as quoted:

"Yes, the numbers are astounding, but it is the concept that counts: that we are all links in a chain going back in time to the beginnings of  mankind up through everyone who is currently alive on this planet and on to everyone who has yet to be born. And if one of those links is  "broken," that is if I and you did not exist, then the entire chain  would unravel. Further, we are as insignificant as grains of sand on
all the beaches in the all the worlds and, at the same time, the most  important thing, to us, that there is. And both realities exist and can be understood at the same time. But the concept that we are all tied
together, actually "related" to each other, is the concept that should bring us all together. But why doesn't it? Evolution. We have all evolved into different races, ethnicities and cultures so that our
"common bond," the human species, is not enough, especially today, to even begin to unite us. We cannot even unite as a country. One faction against another, ad infinitum and infinitely. We, as individuals, have become too self-important, and we have forgotten our chain of humanity.
And, now, we are in chains to ideologies, doctrines, causes, trends and whatever else appears and carries us along with it.

The chain might as well be broken because it doesn't count for anything anymore. We need a new birth, a rebirth of the mind and of the spirit, some  light that can radiate between and among us: we need a new attitude--one of unity and not of division. And we need leaders, lot and lots of true leaders, to help show us the way out of annihilation and to healthy survival. And there are not any around."

Source of Quotes: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/09/10/dear-fellow-improbable/

 

 

My Angels and Queen Makers

"Muggins dear. I had this eerie dream, n you were starring. :))
We were in a world far much advanced, wide open space, very many ppl but equally organized. it wasn't earth, for sure. you were flying, saying sth like "it's my time, it's my time." U asked me for 2 things, u said they were very important (not sure of their significance) - DVD player and vacuum cleaner *(laugh laugh)* U explained that u had to play sth of GREAT import with the DVDp, but i knew u werent going to use the vacuum thingie for its intended purpose- it was for sth far more innovative, jus cant remb. significance????


were u there, too?? u must be glad ppl take time to dream of you;)"

 July 19, 2010




On September 6/7, 2010, Apollonia Mack interprets the above dream thus:
"DVD player...you would have to record you works for the future generation to view
Vacum cleaner...you have lots ahead to tide  (tie?) up
The guy got a vision of your life. Plain and simple. He did not get a dream where one has to try and decipher etc...black and white it is."

(Apollonia does not have a picture of herself up)


 Where my friend and high school boyfriend Rufus Mahon writes, on the very night:
"Melise, I'm just glad to be a help in anyway I can.
Experiences in life can either make us or break us; propel us or hinder us. Now that you have put your finger on the source of the blockages, what do you intend to do about it?
Its time to release Melise....
Yes we all see the greatness bottled up inside the little body (lol) and know the explosiveness that can happen once it is ignited and freed from the holding cage that it is in.
Your on the road to a great healing Melise, don't be afraid to embark on it. You may cry some and some of the memories may be livid and painful but please don't abort the process, the world is waiting for the arrival of Melise (Maven) Huggins"














September 2010
09.05.06.2010

 and another angel...aiming for my success...mrose

Apollonia Mack:
"Ok...see, your journey/life has carvings/gifts already etched into your being...what first attracted me to your fb page, was the flame..that is how I see GOD, as a light..my present call card has a candle..my logo (presently being designed is a candle)..ha ha ...you ain't no joke..you work is 'cut out for you'...vacum and dvd time...and trust me, if you dont heed you CALLING, your life will be tumultous...but then again, you KNOW DAT..haha...and those haha is not laughter, yet I am happy.
Pact made....50th.."


Tom Sewe on Sept 8, 2010

"How right Apollonia is!! I refer you to our recent correspondence:

Me:   "...maybe u shud join PP's Kamla Persad-Bissessar at the top ranks, we need Richards out :)

You:   "...people dont join cabals love, the bosses invite; and i am not of their ilk and they/she seems to have a penchant for the ol boys; the big boys; not girls, not new..."


Political interest, i imagine, does not necessitate one conforming to merely available factions.. Last time i checked T&T was a democracy. Obviously i'm reiterating what Apollonia's saying:
 "...what are you waiting on...get up and form a Party and start leading the nation and give folks like me (there are thousands) a reason to vote."

Dearie, between doing something then regretting later, and regretting not having done anything at all- do you know what is more painful and unforgivable?? Be the judge.

Deep interpretation of the dream, indeed.

Waiting and watching you :))

:)*"

Heady Day Ending Poem

after the damage
we stand in the glare of our own lights
head or tail
bright or darkly
searching for hope
another day
redemption
strength to strive on
past the illusion of enemies
for they are only selves
masquing
as other
lies
No remiss
only duty
demons exist
show up or run away
it will wait for you
again
courage instead
to march those failings
new horizons no cliffs

mdhuggins 11:39pm Sunday, September 5, 2010

Sunday Morning

I just watched a segment on CBS News Sunday Morning about "$50,000 price tag for 70 changes" in a BMW plant in Germany, made for the benefit of 47 year old average and aging workers on the assembly line. I tried to find a link to the show or video, but this was all I found at an initial search

>.

The story was inspiring to hear how one corporate citizen could leave their office to get on the line to investigate the needs and demands of their workers; valuing them as it were, beyond mere cogs. But the tag of the price for the amount of changes struck me. Whether dollars or Euros, a $50,000 price tag, and I still wonder per what unit, though I suspect it is for the plant sent me thinking and searching..."How is that price tag so cheap? Why is it not some multi-million dollar price tag along the numbers called for the most cursory and silly changes as one hears in Trinidad and Tobago?"  My thought was "Fifty thousand? A mere fifty thousand against all the millions and billions I hear in Trinbago?"

So I googled 'is there research that shows that everything is priced higher and cost more in developing countries/banana republics?' And this is two separate questions. As an Economist, it is well known that prices and transaction costs are higher in developing countries. But the other question was intentional price inflation as a means to corruption and theft as the underlying theory to price theory in banana republics.

The results were interesting/and one in particular that switched roads on my search immediately as it focused on conditions within real Banana producing republics

...which proves to show that you can scratch the surface of the banana republic and a dozen huge earth shattering problems, issues and crises spill out....I shall continue to research my thesis that thieves and opportunists abound to and in banana republic and if a spoon costs a penny in Germany it will be charged and priced at $1000 in Trinidad and Tobago.

to be continued...

Tortuga, Home and Church

http://thechutneygarden.blogspot.com/2008/08/tortuga.html

Tortuga

The picturesque village of Tortuga sits on the highest point of the Central Range. It is a poignant spot. One of the oldest and most charming churches can be found on this pretty crest.From its cusp, the city of San Fernando and the oil refineries that represent the cogs that drive the nation's economy lie in clear view. The distance makes them seem almost pretty and it is possible to romanticise the slash of flame on the horizon.
Tortuga church, as it is commonly known, is the Catholic church of Our Lady of Montserrat built in 1872. This church is best known for its recent restoration work. The church had fallen into disrepair and many of its original stained-glass panes depicting biblical scenes were in danger of being lost forever. Elton Rostant, Karen de Verteuil, George de Verteuil, Monica Clement, Simone Taylor, Yvonne Rostant, Clares Batholomew, Franklyn Lee Sam, and Joseph Rostant were the dedicated committee members that worked tirelessly to bring this church built by French priest and architect Fr Marie Jules Dupoux back to its former glory. The end result is something of remarkable beauty.
The restoration of the stained-glass panes was begun in 1991. Mike Watson, the talented craftsman who discovered their existence in 1985, began the meticulous process of restoration in an attempt to preserve the panes before they sucuumbed to further damage. The windows originally came from renowned atelier Henri-Louis Victor Gesta.
Gesta was the son of Louis Victor Gesta, owner of the 19th century’s largest stained glass window-manufacturing firm in the world. The windows, depicting biblical scenes, were made in Toulouse, France, between 1880 and 1890 but were damaged by tropical storm Alma in 1974.
Mike Watson sadly passed away before his work could be completed. His baton was taken over by the committee with Simone Taylor taking an especial interest in the restoration of the windows.
In a 2004 Guardian Newspaper report, the following report was given..... Taylor’s efforts included four trips to France to find the original manufacturer of the windows. In 1995 she visited the atelier of Michael and Daniel Bataillou in Toulouse.
She subsequently enlisted the help of the French Embassy, which sponsored a visit to Trinidad by Daniel Bataillou who provided an estimate for restoring the 20 windows. This figure was roughly $500,000. Undaunted, the Friends continued their fund-raising, eventually taking a loan for $300,000.
In February 2004, the windows were sent to Toulouse, where the Bataillous worked on their restoration. They were aided by Michael Inniss, a glass maker from Trinidad. The French Embassy sponsored a two-month trip in which he was able to learn the process and assist in restoring the windows.
The newly restored glass windows returned to Trinidad in late August and after five days of feverish work, they were reinstalled in their original positions at the church.
The finished product was first seen at the parish festival held on September 5. Parishioners, Gran Couva residents and people from all over the country were able to see the result.


The rear entrance of the church is reached by climbing rickety wooden stairs that open onto a side room that is the shrine to the much beloved Black Virgin of Montserrat. This Virgin is said to have been brought to the church by early Capuchin monks. She is swathed in a shiny white dress and holds her infant Jesus close to her breast. Her altar is dotted with fresh flowers. I found an excellent article by Paria Publishing online that gives a comprehensive history of this unique madonna.

Few genuine relics remain from Trinidad's Spanish period. One of them is to be found in the church dedicated to Our Lady of Montserrat. This little wooden figure of the Blessed Virgin Mary, known as the 'Black Virgin', is said to be a copy of a statue of Our Lady in a shrine in Montserrat, Spain. Port of Spain was probably not founded by the Spaniards at all........ (click to read the entire article)

The view from the churchyard cemetery is serene and peaceful. It overlooks the central plains and is a reminder of how much of Trinidad's beautiful countryside is still undeveloped. In its heyday, this was prime cocoa land and many fortunes were made and lost on the plains of Gran Couva. The cocoa grown in this soil is still recognized as the one of the most superior in the world.



In addition to the beautiful stained-glass windows, the Stations of the Cross in this church are unique in that the captions below each image are all in French. The overall effect is beautiful. The beautifully rendered images delivered in French reminds of the strong French Creole influence of the French cocoa planters of the 19th century.

This church has an extraordinary atmosphere. Yes, there is the overwhelming beauty of the stained glass but there is also a palpable energy that radiates from the Black Virgin. This mixes in with the French Stations of the Cross and captures the complicated relationships that must have been a way of life for the cocoa farmers and their estate workers. I imagined how many planters would have come to this church seeking redemption or reprieve during the crash of cocoa. Just to add a sense of drama, the distant flares of the Pointe-a-Pierre refinery couldn't be more apt. As the old poeple say, after one time, is another.

Other Sources, Writeups, Picks of Lady of Montserrat Church

http://thechutneygarden.blogspot.com/2008/08/tortuga.html

http://www.trinoutdoors.com/pages/religous%20sites.htm#Tortuga_Roman_Catholic_Church

http://www.nalis.gov.tt/Places/places_Tortuga.html

http://trinidad-tobago.strabon-caraibes.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=12&Itemid=41

6:36pm Saturday September 4, 2010...book within?

For the last thirtytwo minutes I have been watching/listening and notetaking an interview with Chimamanda Ngozi, the female Nigerian Writer, author of Half of a Yellow Sun, given to me by the way by a Nigerian journalist while I was there to present a paper in 2007. Sadly, I no longer remember his name.

About fifteen minutes ago, it occurred to me, the question: of whether there was a book within me. This I ask having written a book, or attempted to write fiction, a one hundred fifty page manuscript entitled Ant Bites on the occasion of getting bit by twenty three ants in 2004 which symbolized for me how i was loving and enchanted with Trinidad, the place of my birth, only to be assaulted, abused and traumatized by the place. It was supposed to be fiction. Too serious-minded, I gather, it turned out to be a memoir..just my experiences by chapter over the years of trying to acclimate, find work, make relationships.

I think as I ponder whether i have a book within me, that manuscript would be the backbone> Because today, when I think of a book, I do not think of a feminist exploration of a Black woman who has lived throughout the Diaspora,trying to find herself in the tropics; but the politics of life in a paradise of a kind, the realities of a banana republic.

And as I pondered this question, and realized would it not be some kind of fear or standing down, if I did not pursue or attempt to finish a real piece of work. And yes, it would be hard, I would have to buckle down and give effort, which it seems i have given up on.

Then I stumble upon a series of posts on fb that seem to reinforce the call...So it gives rise to this post...is the universe conspiring to get me to rise> First with the words from Chimamanda in her interview that spoke to me, seem to be calling the book or the sit to do the work of writing a good book was calling to me:

‎"to be emotionally ready to write the book"

 ‎"controversial and contested" "a very political book"

  "it's very easy to find the facts; it is hard to learn the truth"

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Behind the Words on Africa Channel

then posts from facebook:

Erik Michael Inglada Dont run from life, chase after it and dont let go once u get a hold of it 

Maven Huggins hm. words that come at me as i sit and ponder whether i have a book within me...(already written mind you), and spurred by listening to author Chimamanda Ngozi

Opal Palmer Adisa I'm on this road that I know I belong on, but surprised to find myself here & enjoying each day like the gift of a sweet kiss that it is.

Purpose ‎-:¦:-For true success ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not
me? Why not now?
James Allen

and the significance of all this: I am currently unemployed so all my time is my own, and therein the freedom to sit and write, and perfect.
wow.

something to sit and ponder/or to get up on Monday and begin

and earlier, i sat staring at this eye of Horus; perhaps, asking, willing and hoping for direction and answers