Her Ten of Wands

Suzanne wrote: "Maven Huggins ♥
Once the decision is made to cross the threshold into a magical garden, the long journey toward rebirth reaches its destination. The fairy who was gazing into the garden in the Nine of Wands is now entering and experiencing a spiritual homecoming in the Ten of Wands. The multicoloured butterflies on the gate have been transformed into a crown of white butterflies, creating a divine aura of protection and guidance. The fairy holds in her hand the magic wand, tipped with a beautiful rainbow butterfly, symbolizing her initiation into states of higher consciousness. The number 9 in numerology often suggests completion, while the qualities inherent in 10 are rejuvenation and exultation. With nine white butterflies encircling her and the tenth now a part of her magic wand, this fairy is ready for new responsibilities and service in the intuitive arts: healing, art, music, dance, and ritual. While meditating on this card, realize that you are being crowned. Your auric field is being purified, and like the white butterflies, you are set free to explore the infinite circle of your Higher Self. The rainbow butterfly is offered to you as a bridge, connecting your life of service to the greater community, humanity, and the Earth evolving in the cosmos. ♥"

FIFA Kingpin Black Robin Hood BlackDon Black Jack Warner

sat in court this evening
with my two hand men
many hours passed since then
but i wish i had a writing device to note how we mapped this don black jack warner story

we all agree unanimously. that it was his sons who brought him down.
don black jack/ don jack black
was so mafia, he knew the game. there was no trace. he was not flash
he did everything in satchels of cash

he did not set up any companies
never tried to wire any money
did not try to set up any systems to trace and follow

his sons, however.

well.

we here in trinidad know how much they were into gallerying.
then the whole generational , children of wealth thing
they had it all, but the training.
common story

so their father cut them in, as any good father would
and these assholes.
never bothered to learn the trade, the shop,
but they were good at the glitz, glamour
but for this era of golding, they got carried away number one, in scenes
and number two, never figured out how to do it
no trace

it was them that got caught
and to save their yellow belly asses
they sung

one in court said of a different era, they would have been taken out
and taken care of
the other thing too, is that they were doing it international
and trying to set up a base in miami, or did so
allowing the feds to zero in on something, somewhere. transactions
and so the seed was sown

it raises lots of questions
i would love to know if don black jack black warned them, guided them
or if he let them run wild with the nouveau riche of ill gotten gains

the other thing we all assessed too, is that of the other men indicted,
they are not on don black jack black's level, power, abilities or regard.
what we are all forgetting is that don black jack black was from long time ago
a king and queen maker.
check the story. how did blatter get installed. by whose power and brokering
check the facts and let me know if i am wrong.: the black don jack

the bigger picture then
this is not about a corrupt man coming down
this is a court center king maker brought down
for and by many

all the nine indicted were right under sepp blatter. that they those were his court
he has decided to change his clothes and keepers. he did so in interesting timing
right before elections.
see the press conference today of the french speaker, sitting solely on the table..speaking of telling blatter to resign and hear his reiteration of the conversation
you hear two things; sepp played a stroke. sepp set it up so he can match game reset.

nothing has changed
don black jack black did nothing the other big boys did
just that there aint no other as powerful and productive in that mafia of fifa
as the don. maybe not even havelange or blatter. they were in power. but they werent the brokers. don black jack black dared to be. and how he , with his impeded linguistics, dark black skin, from the hinter corridors of trinidad, made it up that high and far is a story that we are too colonial, full of self hatred, and racism to admit and investiquire. it is a common and familiar story, the globe over. black man getting too powerful. and even though fifa lied to him and gave him that deal that if he left fifa he would not be persecuted, prosecuted, they did. now. why...and it is because though don black jack black was gone and out. his minions, his footmen, the men he made and installed, were still there. so what does sepp do? clear the whole cupboard.

and the funny thing about this story, is that there are many trails in one. many big pictures. the snubbing don black jack black had the audacity to play UK and US like broken fiddles and still reassign the game to South Africa. you do some maths, but before you do. study something called white supremacy, its rules and protocols, and see how many this dark black man don jack desecrated.

i am not writing as a fan. consider this critical theory of a solitary phenom, don black jack black in a larger milieu of a story line and see how amazingly individual it is. i wish i had someone better than me, more knowledgeable to map this all out. but who is capable of dissecting this level of intrigue on so many levels, involving so many powerful entities, so many nations and one global domination, if not two: white supremacy and fifa. and maybe too this thing is so big, that white supremacy itself is transcended when it comes to money , power and continuing the domination of the kingdom, and fifa is that. one incredibly huge ratchifee system , so who wants to maintain their claim on the throne?

i dont know
but it was like bells and whistles were singing this evening at the table.
and who knows how the theory might evolve as new information comes in

i must admit, when i left around 4, close to five, i started to write a post but ran out unexpectedly...jack is surprising me. I thought he had major belly in the course of this challenge. i thought he had a toolbox and a strategy. but truth be told, he did seem like a fraction of the man by energy in his last video before he was arrested. it is like he is resigned. choosing not to fight, and we all know he has goods. he has to have goods. what he did was not solitary. and whether any of us want to see or admit it, on some level he was a robinhood...people and countries attained, men were elevated where they would not have otherwise. i theorize don black jack black got his power by being a maker of men and wealth for them. it is why he was ushered in protected for all these years. until he let his stupid ass wipe sons in. and here comes the falling down of a storied climb...it is interesting. no moral positions. no bias, no for or against, just a reading of plays, players, outcomes, journeys and procedures. fifa is a system that don black jack black mastered. that is all

and like the typical fable, his inadequate sons to the throne, castle and kingdom brought it down. since 2010 i been saying jack is a fascinating study, book to write, film to make. ever more so now.

which relates to the other thing we talked about..the things seen but unseen in a population largely clueless, ignorant and totally without moorings to conceptualize...those emails rowley got...they came from the israeli security system and staff that manning's pnm installed when was that? in 2004?

apart from that trust me when i tell you the coast guard has a system to track every single cell phone number in trinidad and tobago. can tell you where it is, if in the country or out, switched on or off. and the coast guard system is separate from the isreali satellite monitoring system

now, after all of this, i ask you, where you think  you living?
you really serious about life
all that you see and cant make out?





if i am ever able, i will write a piece on how it is Town Brown Class Red Lawrence Duprey can rob a country, a population, its citizenry, several governments and a region in a massive international pyramid scheme for decades, have it crumble, get paid out and still jaunting all over the world, free of any scar or prosecution...

until the next ...

A Tale of Two Girls: Ten Years In

A Tale of Two/
Girls as Cities...

i am watching lives and stories writing, in the making, building, creating;
edifice and foundation building and laying
and cant say a thing

watching the parts go together
the links, relationships
fodder and motivation
reason and cosign enablers
it is so deep

and i cant say a thing
two girls lives to evolve into persons, women
and it is going to be fascinating to see where all this ends, and how

i think i ought to write a book
or try
to document this unfolding
that i know will be interesting

Maya and Marielle


TWO

one is very very dark
even so I recognize I perhaps dont understand how dark black
i think what it is is she is becoming more so as she grows older,
stay out in the sun, play and build a life/ she was not so dark when she was born
at least the darkness was not so thick and losing brownness.
i noticed it last night as she turned ten
birthday cakes, icecream and candles are the norm for us girls of barataria

but this one, the second one,
she is a special one
she is that dark, illiterate by family comparison standards,
lagging school wise from most of the family recent history and structure,
with adhd perhaps, and definitely dyslexia
in a special school that seems to neither push or challenge you
when she went there her sister called it 'camp'
her mother warned her not to do so
so recognize that two silent dynamic

her older sister knows she is not up to snuff
the mother knows it as well
the mother protects her
always has from since birth
this child was like the nipple on her mother's breast
she never ventured off to anyone or anywhere
and we are a close knit family
she was born in the family house afterall
her grandmother's house
which was my grandparent's house in a lifetime or two before
an old tapia
now we are grand in a huge house by neighborhood and class standards

i dont know our individual or family capacities have grown as this one emblematic house

anyway, this one girl
is that dark
that illiterate
and from early on we saw her switch and change
about half her life ago
from being sugary sweet and retreating
to attacking
to the extent, at her birthday party last night
my mother started off first
i was never present for such a celebration
in or out of family
where it was more a council of upbriading
than a celebration of personhood

she was told as she gets older to change and reverse some of her behaviors
hostility, anger, lack of calm, and the absence of attention to her school work and brain power
were consistently mentioned.
by her grandmother, her great aunt.
her sister agreed
all proclaimed their love

her mother said something lukewarm as usual

i sat there surprised, wondering how i missed most of this
but it is because I do stay away from her
do not engage much
she is very dishonest. deceitful, shrewdly manipulating
years early i saw the deceit and dishonesty was cover for her illiteracy
when asked to read a bottle she stated what she thought it said
not what the label read
i was floored

shocked because i was given and getting insight as to how illiterates function in the world
how they fool people into thinking they can read
how children function in a group and school environment
and how educational dysfunction is perpetuated and entrenched in an individual

well last night, hearing about this hostility
in my mind it is all part of the same package
as she grows darker, i suspect the derision also comes
coupled with the old requirement to cover up her inability to read and function mentally
so you see how holes are made deeper
situations compounded.
that is a lot of attack to shield and project from
thus, the hostility

then she has an older sister
who is an effortless star
bright no arse
well she was born under me
we read daily
girlfriend held books before she could read
there are pictures
she was brave
she had loving caretakers
i was one of them

she only changed when she left this house with her family to their own
she was three. but i shall tell that and her story on her birthday
coming on the 31st. this one is marielle's city

marielle has an upward climb
and then too the demand to shine when she is naturally shaded
by complexion, incompetence, babying
it is all being rolled together in an odd way

she is being pumped up for the wrong things
by the wrong vehicles
by her mother's own insecurities
so there is an affinity there to protect and shield
whereby a push and charge
a demand to evolve and get better is absent

she is being primped for being a ladygirl
you know...all the princess treatments, the clothes, the glam, the nailpolish and gloss

but yet, she is an indelicate specie
she flings herself around. she is rough and tomboyish
very athletic, she bounces, flies and runs everywhere
no matter how short the distance
she dances
she is an entertainer
she is a lover
when she was younger everyone regaled how loving she was
what was real has turned into a straight up shield
it is not real
it is her trade, armour, strategy and weapon

both these girls are geminis eh
the astrological sign most affinitied to my aquarius
but i have never been this close to the creature
the both of them are night and day moodies
very moody

they will come in the house and not speak if they dont feel to
and so they have been indulged
and they did it last night

when i emerged out my bedroom to greet her for her birthday
her mother told her, the three of us in the kitchen
and instead of marielle coming to me,
she went to her mother and stretched as if i was not there
and her mom just never addresses dynamics like that
i too have grown into the groove and just let them

so this is what this writing and story is about
documenting the beings that emerge for the silence, enabling or coddling of adults raising them or not

i felt the need to document this cause i think the outcomes are going to be interesting' in time
i want to be able to say here. i saw and wrote this back then

but hostility, anger, dark black skin complexion and the shirking of mental acuity
for a girl is going to reach her where?
in trinidad?

then to think of who she was and what was said of marielle,
as a baby, a toddler , a young girl. to now the age of ten
i find fascinating
how does one go from being called gentle and loving
to hostile and angry

>>>>!!!!!??????

i fear this story is bigger than i realize
i recognize now i need to interview and engage Maya for her views
a very insightful smart otherworldly child


but last night
was just three or two weeks since Maya flew through her SEA
the first time we have seen the both of them
and those girls were acting like farm animals almost
as if they had been let out and untrained unmoored, unattended and were growing wild

it was extreme. and after a few comments from all the other adults,
is when i commented: "i wonder where you girls have been in the intervening weeks cause you all are surely acting strange" and marielle thought i said they were acting elegantly and i replied, "well one is throwing crumbs onto the floor, dusting them from the table onto the floor" Aunt Mona chided her for that. The same one "throws and drops heavily a cup into the sink" somebody else told her about that" both of them were recalcitrant to greet me warmly, sufficiently or appropriately; then maya was  eating ice cream cones, empty from the box. I think she had about four of them. the box finished, I dont know how many they came with. or if not empty, filled with spray cream. Just odd wild unfettered, unguided unpolished behavior. and her mother talking about "they just taste like wafers" well buy them wafers to eat not empty ice cream cones as if they have no bleddy training.

so it is like wild animals were over here to celebrate a birthday
the house was ordered and cleaned, they left icecream crumbs everywhere between the dining room and the kitchen,. they were just sloppy, unregulated, and it almost disgusts me how an adult, a woman, and a mother could be in the midst of that and it is as if there is not. such is the extent of the lacksadaiscalness of their mother

and i recognize i thought during the night..how when i thought m had grown up and away from one level of neglect, for she did neglect them between the ages of 3 and 11 Maya's age, she took vsep and so i thought her attention to them would have been increased. but her MO has always been indulgence as opposed to firm discipline.and so nothing more she was indulging the girls for maya's success and thus, two animals showed up last night.  and i wondering where is this going? how does one who is lagging be allowed to continue to do so, to what end.

but overall, i am trying to capture how various characteristics, dynamics and behaviors
creates a nexus for what kind of being to evolve.
i shall write the next episode I think on Maya's twelvth.

A Tale of Two Girl Cities

A Tale of Two/
Girls as Cities...

i am watching lives and stories writing, in the making, building, creating;
edifice and foundation building and laying
and cant say a thing

watching the parts go together
the links, relationships
fodder and motivation
reason and cosign enablers
it is so deep

and i cant say a thing
two girls lives to evolve into persons, women
and it is going to be fascinating to see where all this ends, and how

i think i ought to write a book
or try
to document this unfolding
that i know will be interesting

Maya and Marielle

Writing and Mark No Judge

if you dont wake up and start writing, you will lose stuff
especially if you sit trying to recall all the angles, pieces and faces you wish to write about.the dreams
and if you write at multiple places, planning a layout in your head, of where to put what
then worse yet if you stop to ponder how delicious a ten hour night of uninterrupted sleep is and then the fabulousness continues when you stay in bed after all of that to still languish curled up further
then you get up and see a glass jar that you boiled to scrub last night knowing it would make a lovely drinking glass, so before you do anything, you are scrubbing, and then you think, it is 9am, CBS Sunday Morning, might as well make something for its enjoyment. Coffee? Tea?
this time it is mayan coffee (cayenne pepper, chocolate, coffee) and a tab of blackstrap molasses...i love it when i get so healthy in my indulgences

all of that
and i eh start to write yet
you see the process and obstructions, then?

----------------
"selling lifestyles"
last night's dreams
what does it mean when you keep dreaming the same themes and images:
babies, caretaker, midwife - i realize i am a midwife of dreams, plans, businesses and visions. mothers, homes, salons, bedrooms, meetings, dining tables

i swivel between being a big sister, as old as I am, but maybe I am really not as old as my number and age, or maybe I am living multiple lives all in one.

parents, mothers, my father once
business people

babies seen that turn into birds - red winged brown doves

feeling my sinuses blocked at some time during the night and wondering what was it due to: smoke ? from outside? something I ate? the turkey? the fruta? the congestion from the extreme lighting up in recent days?

but the most beautiful scenes to reproduce
a bedroom filled and centered with a huge padded bed whose top reached the bottom of a wall of french paned windows that had the perfect view of gardens, heights, tree tops and yet it seemed you could jump out of it. i was a grown daughter to a mother in that scene

before i close let me try to recall the piece i had in mind: a list or line of writing titles , each telling their own story without ever expanding it
but none of them come to me now

moving on now with a wonderful melange of memories that i cant be specific about but leave me with a wonderful feeling.


=============

mark

i just had an epiphany while washing my mug from israel that is really my mother's souvenir, i have taken to using it as it is the biggest mug in the house and quite artful actually, while the other one I have taken to the office

but it is that people may act in ways at times that is more about pressures, challenges and corners rather than 'who they are' so maybe we are to forgive them and give them much rope that may not ever hang them/ and what i am saying, dont judge. dont be so quick to think you know it all, have all the answers, aware of all the corners and dynamics the other person is juggling

someone called me yesterday out of the blue, but i think it was really us starting a new life and turning a new leaf that started on mother's day...an interesting story i thought to write about by the way...two grown people, one fifty, the other thirtyfour, and both of us running from our mothers. talk about being sixteen again, which is another story I have written about, i feel i am living life all over again, from high school..and preparing to launch life from your parents' house...anyway this new leaf started on mother's day when his mother was having a family gathering and my mother was cooking, and because we got caught up and squeezed in between movements in an attempt to snatch a moment for ourselves and each other, what was to be a short snatch ended up--= we were forced to spend five hours together, he missing his mother's gathering, i missing lunch with mine. how hilarious for somebody watching, who i dont know. he was vex but never showed or portrayed it, then when we were released, he thought to have lunch by me, except it was full of pork, chops and calaloo with pigtail, so even trouble and drama is elongated cause you done in the madness already...

so when he phoned me yesterday midday asking me what i was doing and I said making cornbread, he had planned to come over but because I was alone he opted instead to call me when...I invited him over, offering to make coffee, he declined. he truly acts like a teenager trying to avoid parental presence and gaze...but "save me a piece of cornbread" he says. but at the beginning i wanted to ask, and did, "how you manage to think of me" in the one week short of eleven months since i have met him..and after counting my fingers I cant believe it has been so long, so effortlessly...he has never phoned me on a saturday i dont think and surely not when he wakes up. and his retort was, "is there a problem?" i said no , and he said, "well dont ask" forever the gunman bravado talk and posture but the sweetest person underneath - at least that is what i see. but there have been rough times....and one of those was thinking he was present with me for my money which i had none but everybody thinks I bathe in;, and for my car, which he actually offered to and fixed without any money from me, and then he rented when it was available...but it occurred to me getting to this point how sometimes we may mis-interpret what people do, what they are about, what their motivations, mostly for all we do not know and what we misconstrue. so imagine if yesterday i had opened my dumb ignorant mouth and said :what is it you want from me>> when that may not have been it at all. i keep learning how it is never good to be so  quick to judge others and by quick i mean never because after eleven months, various scenes and situations, conflicts and butting heads..i am almost sure he sees just how sweet i was that he perceived in the beginning, and assumed wasnt there in the moments I armored up for battle against his selfishness and i realizing that he not so full of bad intent. at every juncture, no matter how many previous times past, in the next time there is still more that you dont know.  what do you lose when you give patience, room and benefit of the doubt, in honor to the other person? you might be laying the table for your own feast by doing that....being good to the other person

make sense of this jabberwock of writing if you can

Surviving Life in Trinidad: Who Will Take Us, Who Will Bring Us Back

it would of course be a strange proposition

for us as grown people to realize that grown people too need their hands held,
need someone to come with them to cross the road, to leave their other grown friends to run an errand and come back safe. we dont, well. we are not supposed to let children do those things by themselves. there was a time and era no such thing was even thinkable, and that was a long time before the world got upside down and crazy, now that it did , seems that is exactly what we do, for the kids. but it aint supposed to be like that.. but. and. the adults too. and especially maybe, they need looking over
like who would not forbid a young female rider to purchase, what? a 1000 lb speed engine that would take you away in a zwoop and all 100 lbs of flighty you think you can control? when you just started riding? just learned? i am a wannabe biker, first rode fourteen or so years ago. and i know that. you dont? you did nt? none of your friends and family knew that? none of them could have told you not to? advised you differently? and if so, then none of them could have rode with you? you dying by yourself? like a frazzled chicken head? on poisoned feed, slamming into a concrete ballister ? and i hear you were riding with friends and they kept going after you get slammed. is true whey dey say, the take you but they doh bring you back

but the best stories that prove my point, and the one story i woke up writing for and about was the young dude who got hit, bounced, bammed rolled over and supposedly, head squashed in diego sunday morning, after some boat ride, while his best bud, and two girlfriends sit chatting in a car. nothing is more iconographic of doh care, indifference, and if that is too harsh, proving the point of the critcal serious need of your friends to watch over you at all times. yes, us adults. think if i ask those three people if they now prefer to sit in the car chatting rather than to come out and watch their friend or accompany him if they will say yes or no, or jump at the chance to live it all over again? does it not seem really odd stupid and strange for three people to be inches away of a voice, a call or a walking swiftly with out and from the road to avoid death? i am telling you. we are dying and losing limb cause no one is walking with us, no one is holding our hands, people are taking us out but not bringing us back and we do stupid things as normal, until other stupid and unbelievable encounter us at the nexus. when was it ever okay for men to stop anywhere everywhere to pee on the side of the road? in what world would that be considered safe, smart, sane or clean?.

i know my brain vibrates different, but that seems like such dereliction to me. no different from the stories of children being left home alone and burning down house, children crossing the street by themselves and getting knocked down, children left with the wrong people and being mistreated and abused, children left to their own devices to get into all manner of trouble, without guidance, sense or better awareness., and children hanging with friends and the wrong crowd and they take and lead you where they did not accompany you, cant bring you out, or arrive you back home the way you left.. i swear, as i grow older, i see all the sense i railed and was angered about as a child under carl huggins house and rule. is deep to see and learn what can happen, what you were saved and prevented from, what is to be charged against and avoided at all cost.

i used to say you wont be hearing about me in some stupid senseless needless tragedy..i now no longer remember the context situations i envisioned or referenced then. i guess perhaps because there are so many. but if your friends cant watch over you and make sure, are committed in this free society to make sure to drop you the way they pick you up, is best you remain home. cause 'friend' like most other words, otherwise, is just an empty moniker. and we know this too by another means: there are friends if you are going out of their sight, will ask if you want their company, will offer to go with you, and yes, sometimes we or they may feel like they are being a dork, but it is all necessary.
People. we need to hold hands while we are out.

why did our parents and guardians tell us that on our first trips out and away from our homes? that first trip was to school. hold hands while walking the road. hold hands while crossing the street why was that? we just got grown in age and thought all that was not necessary huh?
old times come back again

"hit and run claims the life of twenty six year old" he stopped in a car of four, to pee. i understand that the car hit him and rolled over his head, i have no idea how true that is. i lime at a place with his mother. i heard about it at the watering hole.

the other thing that trips me out is that there seems to be a preponderance of events and accidents here in trinidad that are so tv-ish, horror-film content, and if all of that is still too nefarious, just plain old final destination story line. and i have to tell you , i never heard, watched or followed that film or series, until i came to trinidad and people used that phrase to describe incidents, only then did i go and research. tell me where does a van come out from that you cant see or hear approaching, and at a speed from a distance required to gather to bounce you down with a vengeance. please explain to me all those factors, physics, mathematics and conditions in just the right proportions to make the horrors people are living and visited by these recent days? if you not perplexed, I am. sigh. i dont know what to say again. i just feel the shit happening here not happening no where else, under conditions that make no sense, and no one would believe, or even write in a movie., it is like shit has taken off on its own crazy never to be believed level.

i went to bed early, 11pm, so i could sleep late, and here i am awake before 7, before 8.
it is morning

and i saw marlon mentioned the mother of twins in south but i thought or could not decipher if it was a joke, a quirk or some method of language or joke. i see in a ticker.. another mother? and this time twins? i have no idea where i was but how did i miss that ? i got to say lord put a hand but caught myself. i damn well feel people done put they hand thus all these prices of souls to pay. play you dont know.

i did not even plan to go there, but every havoc has its price and cost, and the most bizarre would be a sign of the equation and the transaction, hence, the collection

cover the door with black cloth, paint blood, pass a covering over, anoint safe passage; me

funny how so many of our literary and dialect terms and phrases are taking a literal life of their own,
{Friends will take you but they wont bring you back}

How Does A Twelve Year Old Know, Daft Adults Ask

New York Daily News May 1 ·

A bisexual 12 year old committed suicide this month after being bullied at her Des Moines, Iowa, middle school, her distraught mom says. Read more: http://nydn.us/1EIqTOn

-----------------------------------

some people come. know they dont belong. know they not made to fight up with the hellion beasts and them, and beat out. until a next time, another place. I give them the greatest benediction in and of grace

--------------------
i reposted this because of the last line i wanted to write on a comment...

{i actually think children (and people) who take their own lives are mind bogglingly courageous. it is an act of empowerment and a power of decision, the choice to end what one cannot control, so you go to your only means of control, self. it is also laudable, when they do so for it is an act of refusing to hurt others, the perpetrators or proxies.

----------------i wrote on a post....

i read the first few lines of the caption, but really, just stared at the little girl, she seems truly pure and pleasant, forgetting the light halo at the top of her head..but i only wondered, how it is these children do not feel they can find solace, safety and comfort in their parents when being mistreated, bullied or overwhelmed.

and then i read the comments here.

i pondered about sharing and tried to move on without doing so but i come back up.

there is a lot of ignorance. that shocks me cause i have no children. but parents are on autopilot. they do things without thinking cause it is convenient. convenient to send children to schools that are not their best environments. convenient not to grapple with one;s own ignorance and limitations, and convenient not to unearth their own struggles, from way back when far less of the day.. how can a child like this find solace if people want to interrogate how they know what they know about who they are?

the conflating of labels and the activity of sex also just shocks me. so simple banal and contrary to all the info about us

And then the preponderance of default heteronorms. what little child does not have affinity and crushes? i have a niece 11 and from since 6 or 7 she coming home telling me about what boy she like and what drama going on in their school...at that level for affections and friendships. and that is the point eh..who do children feel they can talk to , unburden their hearts. cry to, complain about hurt feelings.???

we dont know how to be safe places for children, not even our own, not even the ones we birth , living with. so is there any shock that tender souls without moorings or groundedness feeling no safety will do this.

you all see this child had sense enough to take her life and you still asking about how she know she was bisexual. see the problem

this is about far more than bullying. in schools. it is the total absolute absence of safe places for our vulnerable, no matter who they are, how they prescribe/describe

more than the loss of life is that we are the problem and dont even know it. we as adults, parents, the schools, systems, norms, mindset, thinking, domination

 Anon of Many:

• "  Please explain to me...how does a 12 yr old know he/she is bi-sexual?"

  
  
• 
Maven Huggins the same way 4, 5, 6 7 year olds-- little girls know that they have crushes on their boys in class or little boys for girls in their class, neighborhood, etc?

how do they know?
how come we dont ask of the hetero children when they come home and say, betty is their girlfriend we dont ask john how he know he likes girls?

we need to get to a place where we can remove ourselves conceptually from our defacto default dominant paradigms, we would ask vastly different questions then and might be an aid to those who are different

i also want to add, dont get hung up on language as was done in the post where i got this from.. children and people and humans use the language that is bandied about, if there were no language, the feeling, emotion and inclinations would still be present and not clouded and made heavy with language> if that term was not coined, she would just say, I like everybody.

third of all, do not as the people in the last post did get hung up as adults do on the issue, act and behavior of sex.
people's gender is different from their sex, is different from their proclivities

we conflate a lot and then wonder why we are all confused going down the wrong road and the vulnerable in between get trampled

finally, this report leaves a lot unanswered and i have to tell you i did not even read the article. if she was my child, i would have told her do not use labels, like i tell my niece/s, one more than the other. if we did not live in a world so quick to label and box we would have a lot less problems.

if we lived in a world sans assumptions it would be a far more beautiful place. my comment and post here is without all of that: no labels, i not even dealing with what the child said she was. my only concern is why did she not feel that she could one, go to her parents, and two, find solace and safety there/ why did she feel her only option was to kill herself.

and like i wrote in the previous post, how come you dont ask how could a twelve year old have the sense awareness ability and courage to kill her self, beyond wanting to, she did it. how come we dont ask that?

i find us as humans quite fascinating.

the bottom line for me, which I did not say in the post previous but it comes at me again, we adults are so damn stupid, ignorant and bereft. our children are smarter than us but we go about parenting and raise them to be stupid or more so than we are.

children KNOW> they know who they are, they know who people are, they see things we have become blind to see. and if you doubt me, next time you see a child refusing to go to someone, and yet the adults are forcing them, is a classic consistent case and point

we disrespect children as just small and smaller people, we dismiss them, what they know and think and feel, in exchange for what we put and load upon them...and that is why we have the questions and approaches we do. that lead them to kill themselves.

all that to say, i dont know. i dont know this child, never spoke with her, so I dont know how she knows.

i just take her at her word. and it was more powerful than a host of other folks. she was more powerful than many i know, cause she made a decision and had the courage to take care of her self when she found NO one in her sphere was up to the task. that to me is the issue, and point

hope there is something of value for us to look at in t/here
 
 
"My question is based on the FACT that I've been a teacher of children for almost 25 years and am the mother of a 14 year old. I don't doubt children's intuition BUT nothing beats experience...she hasn't LIVED! WHAT isshe basing that assessment on?!! Dome children are QUITE intelligent and inutitive BUT it is based on their LIMITED life experience! HOW could she know FOR SURE if she hadn't as yet LIVED??!! WHY is it that someone like me is considered 'narrow minded' and 'myopic' and limited in my thinking because I use MY life experience to question the child's lack thereof??!! I have a serious issue with that!"

• 
Maven Huggins:  and that is the point Lois: you are assuming that child's living is less than yours...lol. how many lives has that child lived? what did she come to us and her parents with? you are emphasizing my point: dismissing HER reality. subjecting it to yours, mine or anyone else's. thanks for making my point.

i will reiterate, had that child been mine or around me i would have told her not to use labels or confine herself...but i would not for one minute dissuade her of what she tells me.

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 Merlin Hernandez : "Maven, I do acknowledge and agree with what you and Paul Lindo are saying. Bullying is the problem and there was some lack of haven for this child even with a parent who was, by all reports supportive. My problem is exactly what you touched on. Children can feel deep atractions and love for either sex and it is no trifling love. But this is a time when these children need to be carefully nurtured so they come into their own intact. Yes, a 12 year old could experience themselves to be conflicted about their sexuality but for the parent or society to accept the attachment of a label at that age is to deny the process of growth. It is a period of great volatility, moreso for some children. What is needed is gentle guidance, empathetic counselling, keeping all options open, and parents creating spaces for growth into what maybe natural to the child.  

I am not sure that the one parent failed at being supportive but I do wonder if the label itself pushed this child into a place from which there was no retreat from the cruelty. My position is that these children require much greater shielding from the prejudices and cruelties that abound because they do not yet have the tools to cope with the very real consequences of those labels. The crux here is the stage of psychological and emotional development of a 12 year old does not allow definitions but there is greater responsibility toward those who grapple with their sexual identity at least until the hormonal and emotional roller coaster of puberty is over. "

• 
Maven Huggins:  Merlin, we are on the same vibration. see what i just wrote on my repost, in response to someone asking me, two people actually, how does a twelve year old child know....i wrote long and in there i said, if i was speaking with her, I would have advised her not to use labels, like i do with my niece/s...one more than the other. so i am with you totally there

where i differ is my sole interest was why did this child have no one or place of safety. that is it. All the other stuff is ancillary to a dead child. to me.

and one seemingly so pure hearted.
 
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the ways in which people who think they are oh so smart and enlightened are stuck in a time warp or totally planted in some old form, place, identity, like a tree, and they are not giving shade 

Post 501

How come i have not written on baltimore?

""Baltimore"




 "Witness"
 

The Art of Mirlande Jean-Gilles  ^^



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Photo of the National Museum of Trinidad and Tobago
April-May 2015 Exhibit of LeRoy Clarke's Eye Hayti
Compiled Panographic




The Art of LeRoy Clarke, Eye Hayti ^^