a marathon week of activities built around one lie and a huge fraud. and i am stunned into no words, but not stunned. i am just flabbergasted as to how , when and where that kind of behavior became the norm and accepted/. I am amazed at the daftness of people to carry along the lie. because the signs are so many.
the world really is about the devolving of things. everything
all the things that were the most valued and valuable, to lose their currency, to become meaningless, garbage and the opposite. for things that make no sense, to be the pinnacle of knowledge and wisdom. the things that were the most highly coveted and unattainable now any manicou and rat can access it without passes, against gatekeepers. and the quality of these things were uncomparable*, uniformly high..now. there are a range of variations from same knockoffs to charlatan flim flams. it is like leather. once upon a time, leather was only lamb leather. now folk sell leather lining and animal stomach as leather goods, items and products.
that is what i mean, everything watered down to nothing
and water is privatized to the elite rich, so you will die of thirst., both for the need of that thing you seek to glorify and be glorified as, and the very thing denied to you as you, unworthy. the thing that by your very wanting it. means nothing
doctorbossfraud
good morning
i wake up panning my brain, beating my brain as if it were a drum i was fixing, firing, curing, tuning and beating into a pan. a musical instrument. about how can i fix my life. i came home last night after a family friends fraternity party, disgusted. people are so cowardly.. people are so superficial. people are such simpletons. they deduce everything complex into their insipid banal common denominators whether it fits or not. and this is smart and dumb people. telling an old friend of being unemployed for a long time and how in 2013 i did organic farming, she shouts out "oh, that is it, you bowed out, took a break" and i did not even bat an eye to tell her. no. that is not how it was, that was the response not the stimulus. but my brain kept on talking, while it monitored, stored captured, and filmed her, the response, the thinking behind it and a disgust of how can i ever talk to these creatures . and it was happening right through. from doing decor to conversations, to watching crazy people mix drinks, I was the bartender, until things got out of hand, me and my man cousin handyman steve.
i kept on seeing things that others would miss.
like the guy who was the friend of my dj cousin who despite being at a high end garden party, in the back yard of a house with three bathrooms, one in the carport, kept on going to pee on the back wall. and the two children of that house, both adults, one male or female, both refused to instruct the rat that we have bathrooms and things called toilet. meanwhile, he blinged out in that fake gold shit they wear here
i would bring their attention to it, and they would either do nothing or have some amazing alter interpretation of what I saw, they would argue me down , only for them to at some point see my perspective. from placing plants at fountains, to making baby bakes and buljol and pureeing the tomato and onions..to a younger cousin daughter of an alcoholic family member, who i saw , came very late, introduced her self in the bar, proceeded to mix drinks as if the alcohol was water, and then made someone a drink of black and white whisky and vodka with a little bit of cranberry juice. in a huge cup.. that was the pinnacle after i sat watching her literally turn over alcoholic bottles to mix drinks, no portions, no balance. not for taste. just half the glass. alcohol. first. then ice, and a touch of chaser. after showing my co-bartender, and two other cousins what i was observing, that whisky and vodka mixture. but i sat back to watch, luckily a cousin showed up and i told her to check it.. the drink was for her friend.
now i was amazed. cause who drinks and knows you dont mix drinks? why would you be mixing drinks like that? and i assessed, her father's alcoholism has impacted her. cause the first drink i saw her made of half glass likker* was for her. white rum,. this chick is a stunning beautiful rail of a thing, the height of a reds who aint red. she like vanilla cream, and though i have seen her drink before never saw her mixed. i let it go was prepared to do so as that is her preference. but to see her do the same to others requesting drinks... i had no choice but to see that behavior as diabolical. cause what you trying to do? fuck up other people? waste alcohol, and when you are told about it, you are not given to shock or concern or either to learn how to do it properly, then why are you behind the bar?. no one agrees what she was doing was fucked up, they merely says she does not know...then why are you behind the fkg bar...so it is this endless stupidity and enabling of all i cant contend. that brought me home silenced. and wracking my brain
how to fix my life.
how to save myself
how to release myself of the level and depth of retardation I am surrounded. i need a calgon to take me out, up and away, permanently
and i came up with something.
a tv show.
first I thought of what and who life coach exists, so exemplary that could help me map my life out of this entanglement. then i sat thinking, of my cv and resume and wish I could have someone tell me what is embedded there that has not brought me the results I expected. what do people see? what is going on? some shit is definitely afoot. there is something peculiar about me, my life, my circumstances, my history, my experiences. my path. and i wish to discern it if nothing else, alter it definitely and if not that,, at least commercialize it for my function and use. I have to break this cycle.
then i thought a tv show.
of me presenting everything in a slow easy, methodical pattern.
that each episode saturate the media for a week. and on youtube, archived. streamed. and so i build the story. a show of me doing all the varied things I do, even art. a silent episode where i show how i paint or draw. and see what comes out. but also a show that deconstructs and presents my pieces...that too is a peculiar oddity- my artwork.
i thought to have the citizens and viewing public call in and participate to see what they see. might even have community shows or national panels on the subject. and you know what it is doing...teaching the public to think, problem solve, deconstruct, pull things apart, put them back together.
a show of my life. talk about reality. where i am filmed of everything daily, where i present everything. where i get houses, homes, gardens, places to film, engage the viewers, do things, vehicles, makeovers, entities like businesses, indulgence to explore business ideas, and endless sponsors. the show can maybe even be global...where i travel to the US, Africa, on different missions, all part of the same series.
valuable content for a purpose beyond itself.
so then i started asking myself who are among the biggest most prolific, powerful effective executive and media producers in the country. who can i pitch this idea to? who can see this as potential, who can make this happen.
i think i been up since 8:47
i dont plan to go anywhere for a few days.
I dont want to see anyone.
trying to think of how to free us all who are locked into this dynamic with me in my life and living
and how to garner the sponsors, big enough to gain everyone's attention.
my ankles are swollen, one more than the other, from the broken leg one, from being on my feet nonstop since wednesday, yet, I dream of being in, running and owning a restaurant and bar. and it is incongruities like that i see that boggles my mind. I have dreams and yearnings, I say, that dont work with my make up and beingness, being hood, and i want to determine which part is false...and moreso, what is true.
who
who is capable of making all this?
happen?
