- Maven I found u through Keith maynards post about your roots. I looked at all your pix and comments and I am TRULY BLOWN AWAY!!!!!! See I put some on my wall? Then I just discovered the piece of sculpture that u said is you>>> OMG! how could u be so generous to even think of lending it. Do u really mean lending someone or do u mean he could post it?ove yor eplanation of not chamging hom to her , and the SLEEPING GIANT , then your comment. Between your artistry and your mystical connections, I am feeling the vibrations deep inside of my being. I feel like I have to rediscover my island. I have been to many parts of it but not Tortuga. Also Moruga, just once. I just read Michael Anthonys book about the African Americans who were brought to Moruga. I wonder if I can se the repeat on Sunday, like Keith suggested. OMG u see wher I now live??Beautiful autumn but it carries its own alienation....thank God for FB. I return to the Caribbean again and again but one has to lrve POS to touch what u have all around u! Peace and Blessings. Thank u keith!
Maven Huggins- Hi Pamela?
I am blown away by your mail. It is lovely. It inspires. And on a particular moment when i am ebbing. So bless you...how they sent you..
Where are you?
my every thought, consideration, theory, muse, word and whim
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Sometimes They Send Them, I Think
Sunday, October 21, 2012
A Prayer for Soul Deep Total Healing Yielding to Yeshua Revelations
*Photo: Original Painting: Eddie Bowen's "Two Women" for his October 2012 Exhibit at Medulla, Trinidad*
~~~~~~~
I am not even sure of the pieces, because once they start piling up, i lose clarity. and what first appeared to be an instance then collapses and reveals to be some sort of miracle revelation or instruction, deep wisdom or vision.
but in the last few hours when i prayed, and prayed asking for help and healing and hand, and for Yeshua and Yahweh.Jahweh to Help me and Release Me, and Free Me, and Remove all the obstacles, blockages and heaviness from me so that I could be nothing but Humility< Humble, Peace, Silence, Unmoving Love; that the defense, and protection and fight and response be totally removed as if to have had a character overhaul or a lobotomy, for me to stop thinking and move life from my brain to my heart...I was praying for that, pondering that, wondering how i might give my own self Reiki, how I can lay my own hands but believing it was not as powerful as the Reiki Master I know, Craig Young from Michigan...and wondering how.. how how...it came to me...That if Yeshua touched people and released them, enlightened them and removed weight from them, and healed them, then does that not mean that Craig Young too is a Yeshua? I asked myself that. And then that thought blossomed into a vision and a plan. and connected to a statement a fbriend and past life coach wrote on my page last night/yesterday:
-----------
Maven Huggins:
[my job]
what is my job?
what do i need to make my job?
to survive and thrive?
so if i decide to take the job of model, will life be easier?
if my job is to be liked? to make money?
as opposed to having my current and old job to have character and integrity? morals and ethics? wow.
what is my job?
what do i need to make my job?
to survive and thrive?
so if i decide to take the job of model, will life be easier?
if my job is to be liked? to make money?
as opposed to having my current and old job to have character and integrity? morals and ethics? wow.
Do you see this?
What is your Job?
woo sah!
What is your Job?
woo sah!
So for about an hour or more, I considered how can that happen? is this how this will happen? I bring Craig to Trinidad? I tried once before. Only because me going to him does not work as well. And so much can be wrought, brought and blessed and increased by him coming to Trinidad. So i envisioned how it can happen:
Do i do a media blitz telling my own story of need and decreptitude and the need to be released from the old weights so I can move on in life to make a life And is it that I can videotape or have people gathered to see Craig do his work on me, in public, in a green lush setting? and I think of the hotel in Lopinot that i have never seen as a good venue and also as the best place to let Craig stay while he is here. And I thought I can charge people $1000TT to attend the viewing and a consultation with me. Then now I am thinking another $1000TT to have a session with him. Let them all deposit the money to the bank with a copy of their ID on each receipt and that is their payment and entry. And everything be done in silent. and all people must be in white/ bringing white candles when they come. I am expanding the idea as I write. But that was not the point> I started writing because I woke up to see if Craig Young is on the net.
Now you need to understand, when i knew and visited Craig Young for healing when I lived in Michigan, he was a simple man, a white man, with red hair and beard. Craig eschews all media, technology and the like. Craig, when he works on you, speaks an unknown language, Craig is intergalactic, he is not from earth. When he works on you, he sees and speaks and confers with your guides to help you. Do you realize how much Yeshua he is?? So he is hard to reach
So not finding him on Facebook I then searched the net [Reiki Master Craig Young] . I find nothing. But what do I find on the second page of the search? This:
----------------
Jesus was a Reiki Master - Worldnews.com
article.wn.com/view/2012/08/17/Jesus_was_a_Reiki_Master/
17 Aug 2012 – Reiki, the use of the Universal Life Force Energy, taps into the infinite ... topics reikiuniversal life force energyjesusGod Advertisement Jesus was a Reiki Master. ... Conversion of Paul · Craig Blomberg · Crown of Thorns · Crucifixion ..... a baby with down's syndrome, a young man's tumor, and a Samoan with ...----------
Do you see the universe and guides working??!!
It by chance, synchronicity, providence, brought me back to the core and kernel of my muse and prayer, and insight this morning and giving me proof from the other side, and backward...not from a search of is Craig Young a Yeshua, but if Yeshua was a Reiki Master, doing, etc...
http://article.wn.com/view/2012/08/17/Jesus_was_a_Reiki_Master/
http://www.examiner.com/article/jesus-was-a-reiki-master
then if Craig Young does the same thing to the same effect, then my question is a fact and revelation. Then what am I to do with this confirmation? and seeming universe directional?
But the peculiarity of this still is that i was invited to attend church this morning. I did not go because first I am not too excited about church as a structure, entity or religion, But also because the service was at 7am, and no where have i ever heard of a church service that early that seemed like an assault, a torture, a punishment to souls looking for rest and reprieve in a country where everyone is already sleep and rest deprived, who wake up at godly or ungodly hours to work and school and even on a sunday they cant lay in and get to church on a more measurable time to allow..what? just this sort of personal prayer, revelation and movement? Had I gone to church I would not have gotten this gift.
So I had to write this experience of that alone. As I sit and prayer and think more of how I can make this work into manifestation
And it is funny how obstacles and walls are endlessly being thrown in my path: my aunt coming to live in a house that altered and saw the loss of many resources to expand, and flower some of these unusual thoughts, as basic as losing a land line that allowed me to make international calls--so an easy connection to Craig Young is lost. But it is also the blessing, for it is the last in a long line of trauma that has taken me to new lows and despair that brings me to this possible doorway of salvation...
And this place is so much of assault, while i wrote the last three paragraphs it was to the loudspeaker noise of the church on the corner, a woman's voice repeating Jesus nonstop. that and only that, and i hear it as nothing but stupefying repetition, a lack of thought, a lack of inspiration, a lack of the spirit, so just hypnotize the hungry bereft gathering with the same word as empty as a tin can...it literally is giving me a headache...but repetition of the most holy name in an offensive manner to the environment is not spirituality, in my book, it is just noise.. and we suffer for noise. we dont need more noise. It is why if I do this experience, it will be in silence, we need to know what is silence. We need to know what is not doing and unresponse. Some idea of nonresponse is coming toward me. Not here yet.
But i wonder how i can make this happen. As I did so< i asked myself who is like me? who are the people who need this healing and help from Craig and myself most and I think of women, stressed out women. Broken and depressed women who are still walking their path. As proof I think of my cousin's very public testimony yesterday that surprised me:
-------
Vanessa Bailey wrote a recommendation for Judy Jacobs.
"Hi - This may sound weird - but I am moved to write you. I live in the West Indies Trinidad and I recently went through a rough period. Am a widow with two girls a teen and toddler and a mom who is depressed. I am not sure where your book came from "Take it By Force" but I read it and it was such a BLESSING.
It has changed my out look and perspective. Lots going on but to GOD BE THE GLORY FOR THE GREAT THINGS HE HAS DONE.
Stay the course - Much Love
Vee"
Judy Jacobs
Religious organisation · Cleveland, Tennessee
--------------
Now here again I have to wonder what time and season and calling is this? For Vanessa appeared to delete this wondrously authentic post for I could not find it on her stream. But because I had copied it to a mail to her heralding and acknowledging the post, her journey, my surprise at her boldness of her truth...and my offer to talk to and with her about her depression...I had it. But I just shared with her this about deleting it:
"Morning. Good Morning Vans,
I am here working on something powerful right now.
Something that would not have happened had I gone to church
I was looking for your wonderful soul testimony that you posted on Friday but I cant find it...and I am really hoping you did not delete it. And my soul gets real disappointed if you did, cause it makes me feel you are not yet real and authentic about yourself, your journey and your experience and the power of it to transform, transform yourself and others who are strengthened by it.
That would be so sad.
and especially when I was making it a platform to herald, in this written piece and vision, and revelation...ah..
so it is.. what ever it is. Let me know. if it exists somewhere so i can include it. I also wanted to send this piece to a few people: you , Marcia, and a female pastor friend I had in Michigan...
as people who were central in the making of it. See how we never know the power of what we do on the face of the earth, and what blessings we deny by removing it.. selah!!
I will see how i am led
love you"
--------------
I do believe in the unending power of personal testimony. I wrote a poem years ago Y(Our) Story...telling folk that when you write your testimony, you write mine, and give me voice for what I may not have the words, blood, belly and balls (womb) for...So we should never hesitate when it moves us to tell, talk, share.
[long pause]
i was waiting for more insight to come to me. more direction. i am bereft. I search Rev Smith. i have not seen or talked to her in years, over ten? She used to be cast as a feminist pastor like the beloved and deceased Rev Linda H. Hollies, I so wish i could have her instead. but she is gone,. She wrote some powerful books that all women in Yeshua should read..
http://www.amazon.com/Linda-H.-Hollies/e/B001JS5FAM/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1350825899&sr=1-2-ent
But one thing that occurred to me this morning at the time of initial planning and revelation is that I did not want to have anyone involved without clean hands. In relation to reaching out to people in Trinidad..and thought of getting a PR firm to run the marketing. I thought did i really want to do that. As crazy as it sounds, I want to keep this spiritually clean, pure and sound>
Unbelievable.
I have no idea why and how the universe gives me these insights and visions and does not give me the means and directions to implement, and complete. Sigh. Send Help
I plan to call the gathering The Monastery
~~~~
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Planning Projecting Perceiving Producing Pregnant
i am planning for the impossible.
i'm possible
i'm possible
- Neal Klein: "A poet-philosopher who is a committed to sensual overload and probably a sexual omnivore who is somehow above trappings. A student of politics who would love to see all political systems humbled on their own altars. A wordsmith who is often at a loss for the right ones to describe the indescribable always in view. A mix of God and Goddess in an indefinable shell that needs no gender label.
You're impossibly possible. But quite possibly, you're impossible. And I would probably commit crimes to have your counsel face to face and share tea with you, who sees across oceans."
Saturday, October 13, 2012
The Three Gifts and Providence; The Week of October 8 - 12, 2012
John, Good Morning
I have something i want to share with you, to hear your spiritual response and perspective
I think context is important. Context is: I was not looking, planning or wanting to do this.
It seemed like it was planned and ordained, orchestrated through a variety of steps and
persons to arrive me on this woman's doorstep/ A Tarot card Hindu Reader.
She begins and from the cards that fall out she tells me "my life is under a very strong
powerful curse; She asked me if I had an affair with a married man. The wife buried my
picture in a cometary and that is why my life is in total chaos. I cant get work, I cant move
I cant get anything; Money does not stay in my hands, All my relationships are rot.
Anyone who likes me will soon become disenchanted.There are blockages everywhere
She said it was extreme. And she did not have the ability to help, But referred me to
someone in NY if you can believe.
But I have been pondering it ever since. I have been wracking my brain for who it could be.
I told her all I knew and it was not them, but off the bat she said, you may not have known,
"you know they can mask themselves" so as if the man was married but I never knew.
Apart from wracking my brain as to who could do this, because it is a peculiar story as I was
in the states qt the time and who knew people did such things over there, and eve she admits
that it is hard to do over there, but then i think that sounds like something for over here
so that is one peculiarity. where it occurred.
But apart from that I had recognized my life had become a mess since the 2000, but when
i look at it, it might even be before. She also told me that my uterine problems with fibroids
\are connected to this curse but that has been detected and happening since 1991.
My first surgery at 1994 and returning 9mos later. So i mark after 1991, 1993, when my
last significant relationship lasted. But for the life of me, I cannot figure out who this was
What do you think> I write you because part of me believes it is true. and i felt lighter
when i got the news, like confirmation that this is not about me. this is not my doing or for
lack of trying.. But another part of me, for meeting people like you regarding the spiritual
aspect makes me rethink or wonder if such a curse could exist.
I am kind of confused.
some part of me thinks the reading might be wrong in its attribution..that it may not be me
I have had two affairs with married men in my life, one at 28, the other at 35. and generally
I frown upon it.
I loaned a woman 10K for her business in April. She was to pay me back each month for
five months. It is now October, we had a contract. She has never paid me a cent. The reader
told me i would not get my money back and if i do anything, like post her name and photo in
the paper, she could do me something. She told me not to make enemies of anyone for
in this day, everyone knows someone who can do something. So i might get hurt
Could you imagine?
I feel better but flummoxed all at the same time
Tell me what you think, Spiritually for what you know and understand/
And understand and know one thing. NOTHING In my life has worked for a long time
My life has been stagnant since 2000, but I can see before then, signs of something,
since 1991/1993
It has been unbelievable if i werent living it and processing and dealing with it in aplomb
i think
Another thing, watching a half a program of talking books on bbc, with author Richard
Long I think, I heard him say something: the luxury of all conditions to write and be a novelist
I think with all this nothingness, I might try to do that.I just wish i had the accoutrements like
proper office set up. But even as i write that, the excellent conditions have been destroyed
by an aunt who she and i dont mix blood again. and that is classic of what the reader
described; i have and am ensconced in a negative bubble that makes all turn from me
so even as i write, I am hearing her noise of carnival music on the radio. me and my mom
are quiet types
Alright i gone..
Thank you for sharing this. Allah truly knows best. Allah is truth and what follows below may not be accurate. Any errors are mine for sure!
So let me give you what I have been able to glean, and I make no claim to be anything but someone who loves you and cares deeply about your happiness and who has seen your superlative success all around you, like budding seeds hidden in rich soil, waiting to push through into the light.
What I see you need to do is reset your Centre through going inward.
Let's discuss the components of this process, one by one.
First of all, what's past is past. Part of my being where I am today (which is mostly confused, lonely and miserable) is
facing up to shit I have done in the past of which I am truly ashamed. Bad stuff. When I was younger I was not a very nice person. I was very analytical, too cerebral. I was trained in philosophy and logic. I was insensitive to the emotional impact of my actions on people who loved me - especially my daughters.
So my advice to you would be to let go whatever happened in your past. You were a different soul, at a different level of spiritual evolution. For things that happened in your past, I recommend that you try to find the two affected women, you contact them and you make a genuine apology - GENUINE. No subtext - "Did you work obeah on me?". Just try to find them and make contact, an email, a phone call, a sincere conversation. Wish them well.
I have sought people that I hurt in the past and they all told me they held no ill feelings and had moved on with their lives.
Second message: The most important person in this story is You. You are Allah, God. We dynamically create our reality, good or bad. Obeah cannot affect you unless you choose to let it. My advice is that you need to emphasise your great empathic and spiritual gifts and switch off the PhD analytic side. In the US you may have had to constantly defend your place in the world, always defend and argue your point of view. At this stage in your journey, this mental attitude is not conducive to spiritual growth and is not helping you.
I have one of my interminable stories. A couple came to see Imam Ali (may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him). They said "We are told to give charity but we are the poorest of the poor.
How can we give what we don't have?" Imam Ali told them that they completely underestimated what they had to give. He said "whenever you meet anyone you can gift them with your smile".
So this is your first assignment - to switch off the "now how can I defend myself against this new person who's trying to screw me over" attitude and offer a warm genuine smile.
Your second assignment - is to give something without fail to the next ten people you meet and tell me how your experience was.
I went to the Unipet in Mucurapo one Sunday afternoon looking for papers. This man asked me to get something for him to eat. So I gave him a box of KFC. I told him i was disappointed that the papers were sold out. He told me "Try Crichlow's Pharmacy in St. James." He gave me something back, not that I was looking for anything but it warmed my heart that this street dweller had reached a higher maqam, a higher station than I had attained earlier in my life.
The third thing is a prayer of healing/ protection given to me by Abid Bhaiyya for my cousin when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. He said it is good for women's ovaries. He gave this to me 3-4 years ago and I thought I had lost the Post-It but do you know, I found it a week or so ago! It must be for you.
He said to say it three times. You can say it as many times as you feel comfortable, before going to sleep, when you awake, whatever. So here's the prayer:
"La illaha il Allah
Get rid of evil delusions
Cure and be cured
All healing belongs to Allah alone.
La illahah il Allah Muhammad Rasullah."
I don't want to make any claims but my cousin has been fine after her surgery.
Love love only LOVE!
Your biggest fan,
John
About writing. You don't need a good computer or a nice office to write. J.K. Rowling was a single mother on the dole in the UK. She used to take her baby to the local burger joint to write.
Harry Potter started off as notes in her grotty copybook.
From my iPad
Don't think about money. It is yours depending on what you give to the universe. It will come. Offer your experiences up. You'll be fine. Life is not a balance sheet. The balance is Love. Give loving kindness.
me:
this is all rich John. I will do them all.
i dont have words right now except to say i will do them.
I cant find the women cause i dont know who they are;
and really and truly, i can ask for forgiveness which i have done, but i dont need to turn up paved ground..."let the past be the past"
John:
I have something i want to share with you, to hear your spiritual response and perspective
I think context is important. Context is: I was not looking, planning or wanting to do this.
It seemed like it was planned and ordained, orchestrated through a variety of steps and
persons to arrive me on this woman's doorstep/ A Tarot card Hindu Reader.
She begins and from the cards that fall out she tells me "my life is under a very strong
powerful curse; She asked me if I had an affair with a married man. The wife buried my
picture in a cometary and that is why my life is in total chaos. I cant get work, I cant move
I cant get anything; Money does not stay in my hands, All my relationships are rot.
Anyone who likes me will soon become disenchanted.There are blockages everywhere
She said it was extreme. And she did not have the ability to help, But referred me to
someone in NY if you can believe.
But I have been pondering it ever since. I have been wracking my brain for who it could be.
I told her all I knew and it was not them, but off the bat she said, you may not have known,
"you know they can mask themselves" so as if the man was married but I never knew.
Apart from wracking my brain as to who could do this, because it is a peculiar story as I was
in the states qt the time and who knew people did such things over there, and eve she admits
that it is hard to do over there, but then i think that sounds like something for over here
so that is one peculiarity. where it occurred.
But apart from that I had recognized my life had become a mess since the 2000, but when
i look at it, it might even be before. She also told me that my uterine problems with fibroids
\are connected to this curse but that has been detected and happening since 1991.
My first surgery at 1994 and returning 9mos later. So i mark after 1991, 1993, when my
last significant relationship lasted. But for the life of me, I cannot figure out who this was
What do you think> I write you because part of me believes it is true. and i felt lighter
when i got the news, like confirmation that this is not about me. this is not my doing or for
lack of trying.. But another part of me, for meeting people like you regarding the spiritual
aspect makes me rethink or wonder if such a curse could exist.
I am kind of confused.
some part of me thinks the reading might be wrong in its attribution..that it may not be me
I have had two affairs with married men in my life, one at 28, the other at 35. and generally
I frown upon it.
I loaned a woman 10K for her business in April. She was to pay me back each month for
five months. It is now October, we had a contract. She has never paid me a cent. The reader
told me i would not get my money back and if i do anything, like post her name and photo in
the paper, she could do me something. She told me not to make enemies of anyone for
in this day, everyone knows someone who can do something. So i might get hurt
Could you imagine?
I feel better but flummoxed all at the same time
Tell me what you think, Spiritually for what you know and understand/
And understand and know one thing. NOTHING In my life has worked for a long time
My life has been stagnant since 2000, but I can see before then, signs of something,
since 1991/1993
It has been unbelievable if i werent living it and processing and dealing with it in aplomb
i think
Another thing, watching a half a program of talking books on bbc, with author Richard
Long I think, I heard him say something: the luxury of all conditions to write and be a novelist
I think with all this nothingness, I might try to do that.I just wish i had the accoutrements like
proper office set up. But even as i write that, the excellent conditions have been destroyed
by an aunt who she and i dont mix blood again. and that is classic of what the reader
described; i have and am ensconced in a negative bubble that makes all turn from me
so even as i write, I am hearing her noise of carnival music on the radio. me and my mom
are quiet types
Alright i gone..
Thank you for sharing this. Allah truly knows best. Allah is truth and what follows below may not be accurate. Any errors are mine for sure!
So let me give you what I have been able to glean, and I make no claim to be anything but someone who loves you and cares deeply about your happiness and who has seen your superlative success all around you, like budding seeds hidden in rich soil, waiting to push through into the light.
What I see you need to do is reset your Centre through going inward.
Let's discuss the components of this process, one by one.
First of all, what's past is past. Part of my being where I am today (which is mostly confused, lonely and miserable) is
facing up to shit I have done in the past of which I am truly ashamed. Bad stuff. When I was younger I was not a very nice person. I was very analytical, too cerebral. I was trained in philosophy and logic. I was insensitive to the emotional impact of my actions on people who loved me - especially my daughters.
So my advice to you would be to let go whatever happened in your past. You were a different soul, at a different level of spiritual evolution. For things that happened in your past, I recommend that you try to find the two affected women, you contact them and you make a genuine apology - GENUINE. No subtext - "Did you work obeah on me?". Just try to find them and make contact, an email, a phone call, a sincere conversation. Wish them well.
I have sought people that I hurt in the past and they all told me they held no ill feelings and had moved on with their lives.
Second message: The most important person in this story is You. You are Allah, God. We dynamically create our reality, good or bad. Obeah cannot affect you unless you choose to let it. My advice is that you need to emphasise your great empathic and spiritual gifts and switch off the PhD analytic side. In the US you may have had to constantly defend your place in the world, always defend and argue your point of view. At this stage in your journey, this mental attitude is not conducive to spiritual growth and is not helping you.
I have one of my interminable stories. A couple came to see Imam Ali (may Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon him). They said "We are told to give charity but we are the poorest of the poor.
How can we give what we don't have?" Imam Ali told them that they completely underestimated what they had to give. He said "whenever you meet anyone you can gift them with your smile".
So this is your first assignment - to switch off the "now how can I defend myself against this new person who's trying to screw me over" attitude and offer a warm genuine smile.
Your second assignment - is to give something without fail to the next ten people you meet and tell me how your experience was.
I went to the Unipet in Mucurapo one Sunday afternoon looking for papers. This man asked me to get something for him to eat. So I gave him a box of KFC. I told him i was disappointed that the papers were sold out. He told me "Try Crichlow's Pharmacy in St. James." He gave me something back, not that I was looking for anything but it warmed my heart that this street dweller had reached a higher maqam, a higher station than I had attained earlier in my life.
The third thing is a prayer of healing/ protection given to me by Abid Bhaiyya for my cousin when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. He said it is good for women's ovaries. He gave this to me 3-4 years ago and I thought I had lost the Post-It but do you know, I found it a week or so ago! It must be for you.
He said to say it three times. You can say it as many times as you feel comfortable, before going to sleep, when you awake, whatever. So here's the prayer:
"La illaha il Allah
Get rid of evil delusions
Cure and be cured
All healing belongs to Allah alone.
La illahah il Allah Muhammad Rasullah."
I don't want to make any claims but my cousin has been fine after her surgery.
Love love only LOVE!
Your biggest fan,
John
About writing. You don't need a good computer or a nice office to write. J.K. Rowling was a single mother on the dole in the UK. She used to take her baby to the local burger joint to write.
Harry Potter started off as notes in her grotty copybook.
From my iPad
Don't think about money. It is yours depending on what you give to the universe. It will come. Offer your experiences up. You'll be fine. Life is not a balance sheet. The balance is Love. Give loving kindness.
me:
this is all rich John. I will do them all.
i dont have words right now except to say i will do them.
I cant find the women cause i dont know who they are;
and really and truly, i can ask for forgiveness which i have done, but i dont need to turn up paved ground..."let the past be the past"
Great!
When I look at you I am blown away
by your power and potential. It's like standing next to a large
Mercedes Benz and hearing the engine purring quietly. That is you!
BlessingsThursday, October 11, 2012
Command, Dominions and Kingdoms
10.11.12
today was such 'that day' that i dont have appropos words sufficient enough to describe it in any measure and never to approach its magnitude.
days like this i miss my journal, even though there is one, it exists. it seems weird to document this compendium / almost as if anything said, thought or written would be inadequate. almost as if it is so significant as to turn back on itself and be nothing encompassing
lets just line item for memory sake:
not to elicit care where none exists
1. deep emotional and physical discomfort- anxious at awakening/ puzzled. i now wonder what was happening at that hour: interestingly enough it was between 10-11-12o'clock
2. photoshoot. entry
3. phone call: no friend. retraction of support. renege on letter. the support that was going to make a plan workable rescinded; only negativity given to fill the appointment. i want that person to forget my number. and soon i intend to make that easy.
4. photoshoot ended up being a spiritual encounter. being recognized being and an opening of paths to correction, cleansing, clearing, instruction and next center of orientation.
a fifteen minute plan turned into a five hour conversation. among strangers.
5. clarity: deep heaviness. My life needs a clearing of much overhead, forest canopy, a thinning of trees and slashing of ground thickets. just where i find cover is the place i need to run from
6. what utter udder madness: madness feeding and breeding more of itself
hearing myself tell stories of experiences confirmed in my heart ad hearing that some real crazy stuff is going on. Lots. And from so many varied as if all corners.
first born dynamics. generational curses. resentment of blessings. projections of others' crosses. dumping of others' stuff. carrying others blame responsibility and punishment. and plain direct curses. things and people come but nothing stays
i was told the spiritual rank is high, so what combats is also of high power and amplified/ i was told of deep confusion is the means by which it gets in and under. Yeshua Yahweh, Only
i was told when you encounter any of claim, ask them by what authority, under whose or what commands, they gain.
i was told that much is being done to keep me from my purpose. the purpose that appeared lost to me. but the key and answer intimated lies with, in and is related to the beings who hate me the most, effortlessly. and the person said it before I divulged anything, which brought laughter and me asking them 'why did yu say that?' and they replying, 'why did you laugh?'
i was told this is a high time, grand shifts, and many are under amazing pressure to make them implode and not be able to commit their work for the hour.
i was told that the world is upside down, and the good is darkness and darkness is the light. and people./beings come to do their bidding, fulfill prophecy and what is written, as it is written, regardless of morphs, changes, true identity or encounters with the cheshire cat
i was told to order my day at the appointed hour/not to let others do it. for it is so done. and the muslims have it right to kneel, bow and in prostration
about the part where so much is twisted in on itself, and evildark is called light and light is really evil and corruption, clarify your names and identity and who you think is who. the taking of names is to shield
and by now, i am thinking sometimes it is great to be confused cause then you get to the truth, whereas if you live not embracing all, you would have latched on to the wrong energy and commands, unmovable. becareful of what you think you know. but i was also told it is better to proclaim one thing and it be the wrong thing, focused energy rather than scattered to all, no master
i was told to ask my guides, who sent them and commanded them to do what. you think they will answer?
i was told i need a space to do the work and dont start if i am not going to get to the finish, for the furies and pandora...well..
and it is okay to write this cause it is none of you with evil or jealous eye. it is not 'friends' aint that something> the end all and be all of all things? the origins
but today i know there is no friend or friendship. nothing is as it seems. no one is who you think they are. trust no one for you know not what beings and energy and demons lurk there beneath that smile, the hand, the embrace or history
oh. the source and providence of all this? a random inbox message from a stranger, unknown, not even a fbriend. Just so
Do watch for signs and wonders, it might be the only salvation
afterthoughts and remembrances:
* the stars are of its own dominion and kingdom; one of thirteen i believe?
and of the stars are of Lucifer, supposedly > see? the light, the stars, the stellar, are actually the depths
today was such 'that day' that i dont have appropos words sufficient enough to describe it in any measure and never to approach its magnitude.
days like this i miss my journal, even though there is one, it exists. it seems weird to document this compendium / almost as if anything said, thought or written would be inadequate. almost as if it is so significant as to turn back on itself and be nothing encompassing
lets just line item for memory sake:
not to elicit care where none exists
1. deep emotional and physical discomfort- anxious at awakening/ puzzled. i now wonder what was happening at that hour: interestingly enough it was between 10-11-12o'clock
2. photoshoot. entry
3. phone call: no friend. retraction of support. renege on letter. the support that was going to make a plan workable rescinded; only negativity given to fill the appointment. i want that person to forget my number. and soon i intend to make that easy.
4. photoshoot ended up being a spiritual encounter. being recognized being and an opening of paths to correction, cleansing, clearing, instruction and next center of orientation.
a fifteen minute plan turned into a five hour conversation. among strangers.
5. clarity: deep heaviness. My life needs a clearing of much overhead, forest canopy, a thinning of trees and slashing of ground thickets. just where i find cover is the place i need to run from
6. what utter udder madness: madness feeding and breeding more of itself
hearing myself tell stories of experiences confirmed in my heart ad hearing that some real crazy stuff is going on. Lots. And from so many varied as if all corners.
first born dynamics. generational curses. resentment of blessings. projections of others' crosses. dumping of others' stuff. carrying others blame responsibility and punishment. and plain direct curses. things and people come but nothing stays
i was told the spiritual rank is high, so what combats is also of high power and amplified/ i was told of deep confusion is the means by which it gets in and under. Yeshua Yahweh, Only
i was told when you encounter any of claim, ask them by what authority, under whose or what commands, they gain.
i was told that much is being done to keep me from my purpose. the purpose that appeared lost to me. but the key and answer intimated lies with, in and is related to the beings who hate me the most, effortlessly. and the person said it before I divulged anything, which brought laughter and me asking them 'why did yu say that?' and they replying, 'why did you laugh?'
i was told this is a high time, grand shifts, and many are under amazing pressure to make them implode and not be able to commit their work for the hour.
i was told that the world is upside down, and the good is darkness and darkness is the light. and people./beings come to do their bidding, fulfill prophecy and what is written, as it is written, regardless of morphs, changes, true identity or encounters with the cheshire cat
i was told to order my day at the appointed hour/not to let others do it. for it is so done. and the muslims have it right to kneel, bow and in prostration
about the part where so much is twisted in on itself, and evildark is called light and light is really evil and corruption, clarify your names and identity and who you think is who. the taking of names is to shield
and by now, i am thinking sometimes it is great to be confused cause then you get to the truth, whereas if you live not embracing all, you would have latched on to the wrong energy and commands, unmovable. becareful of what you think you know. but i was also told it is better to proclaim one thing and it be the wrong thing, focused energy rather than scattered to all, no master
i was told to ask my guides, who sent them and commanded them to do what. you think they will answer?
i was told i need a space to do the work and dont start if i am not going to get to the finish, for the furies and pandora...well..
and it is okay to write this cause it is none of you with evil or jealous eye. it is not 'friends' aint that something> the end all and be all of all things? the origins
but today i know there is no friend or friendship. nothing is as it seems. no one is who you think they are. trust no one for you know not what beings and energy and demons lurk there beneath that smile, the hand, the embrace or history
oh. the source and providence of all this? a random inbox message from a stranger, unknown, not even a fbriend. Just so
Do watch for signs and wonders, it might be the only salvation
afterthoughts and remembrances:
* the stars are of its own dominion and kingdom; one of thirteen i believe?
and of the stars are of Lucifer, supposedly > see? the light, the stars, the stellar, are actually the depths
OOOoh! the Chills of a Black Man Writing Rising
Maven Huggins: "oooh. the Chills of a Black Man Writing Rising.. wow. I feel for you Sojourn. I think you should write a blog. The sentiment is powerful. Clean the grammar and typo Breds ..but it is still powerful...
If you wish i will volunteer to edit your pieces before you post..but you have something here. Keep Writing. your journey. your demons"- Maven Huggins: "Brother Gs. By your question to me I can tell you do not read my page.
Do you?
To be human is to be real. To be an enlightened and elevated human being is to be authentic and real (not the real they talk about in the hood). To be such a being, there is no hiding, from self or from others, no matter their depths on the ladder of evolution.
Write your story. Facebook is a grand medium for that. You can write notes or long post. they can be compiled and published. I plan to publish my fb. i have one person on my page who already did so.
Spend some time on my page and you will read some real people who write their life and expose their souls. When you do that do you imagine the freedom? No secrets, No pretense. No dissonance,...at least it is toward those ends>
I make it my business not to business with what lesser mortals do and think, Gs. The very idea people hold those views make them not even in your audience. And you write and you will be shocked what strength you give to others cowering and quavering in their lives...Writing and Exposing Self is Powerful and Empowering. Trust it.
I got your back.
DO you.
You are brave. I love you for writing this> All of us are struggling Beloved
I have a phd. my masters is from tuskegee. I spent five years there, two redoing sciences maths and physics to get into vet school. and the other year travelling africa, and two years my masters in animal nutrition/ag economics
my phd is from michigan state. in applied economics , international and resource development . i have not worked for the last two years. before that in 2003, i needed to leave the us cause i was getting evicted and had no job or money left. I sold/had an estate sale for everything practically new that i expected to be my life for the next foreseeable future...just to survive with nothing
you write your story others will share theirs.
exposing self ? google my name: Melise D. Huggins. I am published. two of those pieces are extremely personal..
My power and my self awareness tells me It is ok to do so> Follow your Soul. Nothing else and No one else.
And anyone who cant deal with your authenticity aint real. Ditch them. No matter who they are..
♥
You are already strong. just believe it. I am so proud of you for the face of a black man you show with this post you have no idea."
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