such an awesome message
matched to the awesome night of dreams, meditations, wanderings.
i was not even going to venture a retelling, they were so bizarre , unbelievable, and you know i suffer from no trouble or hesitation for everyone here to think i am mad, so no need to encourage and further validate that . but . wow! like that
even as much as I woke to write notes, write sentences, document senses and messages, i am still not clear if i merely astral traveled, visited a previous life and identity, relived in a dream the death of a previous life, or, was a metaphoric message for my life now, and the answer and solution of my life path. yeah. and you see how weighty all of that is.
i went to bed at 1am. woke at 4am. and began recounting of the dream i was having. laid back down to go to sleep and realized I needed to rise and start writing. that is when i noticed the time and that was one of the first blessings. it was 4:15. it was angel hour.
i was on a high altitude mountain range, pinnacle and cleft. i was on my mother's land. it was all small gray rocks, sharp, no growth, no trees, no grass, no plants, it was kind of cold but we were not in coats. i knew immediately we were in chile. in the andes, mountain people.
bizarro: before that, I was with burton sankeralli. he was in my room and i was reclining either on a day bed or on a recliner of some sort, and then his feet appeared on the chair, so i told him to get his one space, then we continued talking musing or whatever it was just liming quietly and i noticed he was naked in his chair. that is when i ushered him out and home and on along.. and it seemed me walking him out the house was an entering into the andes terrain
and there were just a few people milling about. all black people, all seemingly trinidadian, but in chile, in the andes, up on the crags . my mother was in a house that was on the land, that was right there, but was somehow invisible. and then it was like i became this car that was trying to plough through and a man stood in front of it, and i remember having eye contact with him but was very clear that it was not me, my face or being, I was a man, I had a stroke, my right side of my face was drawn, and it was like i was knocking him down but he was resistant as if he was standing disbelieving he was going to be ploughed, but it was like gentle and slow moving. then the next thing i know i was over the edge. in slow motion. plummeting. no stress or fear. and at one point i told myself i am supposed to be screaming, not this calm, and i immediately told myself, get into it, how else would i fly, and then i realized i was dying of some sort or way. the giving in. do you know i made myself get up to make sure it was not real in this life.
but the deep part was this: one, the giving into the fall, the non struggle, the acceptance, and the loss of trauma when one gives in. then two, flying, i told myself this is flying. how else would i experience this -- as i go down in a car. that was plummeting forever, i expected it to hit upon a tree, an protrusion, a cliff, but nothing, just down. and the sense I had, the freeness the liberation. what i now call death. i did not know it in the middle of the night.
so many versions of the same experience.in the middle of the night, I thought the dream was telling me I could and would be able to inhabit people's bodies, effortlessly...as I inhabited that man on the cliff going over the edge in the car. i remembered being called an iyami by an african woman.
i wondered who all the visitors and those present on the land and cliff before going over,
now. in the middle of the night, this is what i assessed the dream to be telling me:
1. that i can change my fortune. that i was to find the antidote to this curse of my current life and it was men, love and sex. family marriage children.
2. i am to become a witch, which, i already am. a liberated woman in her full powers of beingness. my orisa priestess cousin said of me to a friend of hers, "who she? she will be the biggest obeah woman in port of spain"
3. i have no idea how this came out but it did and it is one of the things I wrote down: there are no friends or enemies only teachers and guides. I know where it came from. I was thinking of a pull in my neck that i believe a woman in my neighborhood put it out there for anyone who sought after her husband a shop operator. I asked of him as he is in ill health , and looked up to see if he was in the gallery and i had a pull in my neck. my neck has been off ever since. immediately upon it happening, i knew what it was, and told a female friend i was with. I thought of it last night.. How much I need to be
4. protected. protect myself. I am too inviting, embracing, holding, touching, loving, hugging to people. and energies are exchanged, mojos lessened, powers lost and sucked .
5. something I knew for years, first as a desire , then me wondering how it is i came to want and have that preference, but i know it for sure...my men are to be healers, markers. the latter...my ex, i told i wanted to get a tattoo. imagine my surprise to realize he ended up giving.leaving me not one but two.
the other thing this dream and last night wanderings gave me: numbers. the numbers as I wondered what manner of message is this, and wherefrom these deep abiding images and dreams, all in one night. it was fascinating.
i know now it is not over, I am to keep mulling this over, and turning it. it is powerful. for in so many dimensions, relevant.
"I can change my fortune" "find the antidote to this curse"
"power people and entities, fly"
all that i would not have shared were it not for being tagged with this meme
ase' ase; ase;
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more odd stories.
to this house, household and land
when i came home and for many years prior, when i visited, my family had a dog called Spencer, a camel brown shorty, i forget the specie, where its hair as it leaves its body is long, short legs, long tail as if belonging on a big dog. and a snout nose. it died years ago.
come to today. I heard a dog barking and making noise. I knew it was not my neighbor across the street, their dog, i knew it was in the yard. no mind you for a about a week or two we have been seeing on our lawn, dog poop. my lawn is thick grass, the kind you lay on that i have, under my poui tree, to watch the stars and moon, or to sit and play on as the children and i do. and this said lawn and my whole yard is enclosed in a high wall, 6 ft, and an electronic gate and another side gate. all too high for the dog to jump over. YET> a dog has been here at least twice before.
today. however it got it, it could not get out
and was in turmoil, running around the yard, its tags on a blue purple color clinking. i standing at window, gallery and back gate and he never saw me. i thought that odd. not very dog like. not very alert, i never saw a dog like that not able to sense another presence. i left him. I wanted him to be agitated and traumatized to know never to return. not that we dont like dogs, but not to soil my lawn where I lie down on
but here is the thing. the dog looked/looks exactly like spencer. in every regard. and because i realize this is the dog that has been entering, I wondered if he would be staying. and imagined what that might be. and who is missing him and these people who let their dogs get away and roam
anyway, i downplayed it all along, Until. I heard my mom regaling the story to my sister. Spencer was really her dog. For my Mom to do that, indicated to me, this is significant.
Do dogs reincarnate? Why would that particular dog, of all the dogs in the neighborhood find its way into our locked down yard. and being a regular visitor. and getting stuck today, so we could see him, me and my Mom.
given the dream I had last night, I thought it something to share.
