Life IN Gold...

tonight things occurred in my life that never happened in my 46 years prior.

i was a moving mark.
travelling all over the world and this country, to and in crowds; and for the first time, I was marked, because i raised my hand to take a pictu...re...and my gold bracelet, one of three, on one hand, shone in the bright lights. the vultures were watching...the young unbred hungry vultures.

and when the snatch happened, would you believe my NY flipped, and I grabbed him. Had him by the shirt: an orange and white striped on a tall lanky young fella...and a white shirt behind him. I let go. Remembering all the times in news of people who stand up to keep what is being taken and either losing eye, limb or life...my grandmother;'s gold band, older than I and many, and in gold they do not make any more. I let go. There will be more. The other side is already on my hand. In replacement. After the incident, I knew i would go into perpetual replay, so i told myself, let it go. We all do as we must, as what we know how, according to our options, and according to our base and hungers. Let it go.

But I did have thoughts
How does this happen to Vigilant Vanguard Me? NYC me? Me always Hawking my surroundings me?

Then i immediately think of my company. I always have a silent admonishment for the company we keep. I try not to go out with folk who cannot bring me back, or folk who dont or cant have my back, or folk who dont know how. Yet, Here i am, there i was. IN just such a situation. When I snatched that little fella, why wasnt someone of my circle there to grab a hand; to check the scene. to be on call?? But most, very few operate that way; and usually just those so trained. I never was. But I am or used to be, Mafia.
So the traits maintain. Except for tonight...Seems like I had another spirit oversight; a step in. Cause these stories are not me.

And I wonder are we to stay home or have big burly security on either side and to the back and front of us...I wish. But I saw it..Had i been surrounded....

But it gets worse.
I get home and unpack my little bag. Only to discover my folder with my license and $210 or so is gone.. how fkg bizarre now. Either that fell out when I took out my handkerchief or my iph...

i must have really been gone from my body. what else could have happened? Me be left floating out there somewhere and my body return home. I am not absentminded; at least i used not to be. Is old catching a hold of me? or do I go into spiritual vacuums and spirit cover and attachment, where my natural known self is over-riden?

And i hate being one of these persons who search for meaning in every feather that flies. And I am thinking, what is it>? am i to step into a new being. A new identity, a new form. Am i paying alms for the riches that is about to befall me. Am i shearing off the old in ways that are just merely and small, symbolic

I cant even be mad. I am more perplexed than anything else..Truly So.

And then I get home and I was just going to write " to be a mark or to walk with security"/./ but the first entry on my fb stream is PEA, mentioning Daniel..where I spoke of him this morning and said, I would never let my children out of my sight. But i have no children. And i take nothing or no one for granted. Nothing is a given. My experience tonight says that...I am no longer free of returning home the way i left. I am even asking myself is it that i must lock myself up and never wear my stuff. But so much of it is left unworn anyhow. What i wear is nothing compared to what i was handed down or own...then i think of all those who lose far more...And i think, what is the use. Not like i have children to pass the heirloomsLi to; and it just makes space for more...when I open up the carrier to take out the other side, I realize...the pieces for replacement will just get bigger...Let them take them...the have nots...they are just scrambling for something from nothing...there is a cost. My tab came up.

But what else?> What else...? was this alm for life and lost of Daniel..the gold of my family stock..My license to replace; a new life come upon' and dollars that are like pennies..but not equal to a son who i would never let out of my sight. not him or any gold child.

so i release it all for those lost and the unnamed losses...




.....and seeing my hand from which Mama's bracelet was snatched..with the other side of the bracelet replaced... it hits me:
i have lost nothing that cannot be replaced. in humble gratitude...nothing of significance...in time, it will mean nothi...ng. Mama did not live for a bracelet...did not die requiring decree for her things...just life only to protect uphold and maintain. what is the point of having children if you cannot do that of simplest things for them: protect, uphold and maintain?

Light, Prayers and Praises

Before Any Identity...Energy

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  Elaine Prescott Johnson I had a workshop yesterday given by Dr. Molefi Asante and they featured Lotus Academy in a documentary. They were explaining to teachers and administrators how important it is for African American children to have African centered education. Do you still feel this way? Has your philosophy changed over the years into something more universal? Even after raising 4 African american boys. Sorry for such a loaded question. Just curious.

  14 hours ago · · 2 peopleLoading...
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  Gregory D. Wells

  Hi Elaine, that’s not a loaded question, but an excellent one! I appreciate it, and this will help to draw out the nuances of the Lotus story. My answer is a little long for FB, but please bear with me.
  
  I respect Dr. Asante a lot, and under...stand what he is trying to do to help African-Americans embrace African culture to raise our cultural self-esteem in the midst of pervasive Western or Euro-centric cultural values and standards. In some sense, he is trying to fight the Euro-centric cultural point of view with the Afro-centric point of view.
  
  It’s interesting to note that when Kubu (Lotus) started, it was not Afro-centric. It was more inclusive. It was Afro-Asian-Centric. Thus, its philosophy included many cultures, not just African, and Eastern philosophy was a very strong component. When I left Lotus, Eastern philosophy seemed to leave with me.
  
  The argument between Euro-centricism and Afro-centricisim is actually founded in the functional differences between the 2 sides of the brain - left vs. right hemispheres, (or the frontal-line of the body vs. the spinal-line of the body). European (Western) culture tends to be more left brain, while the African (Eastern) cultures tend to be more right brain. They both have their limitations without the use of the other. The point is to use the whole-brain, and thus, not to be self-divided or in self-conflict. So, before we became African or European, we were already human. Thus, the point is to embrace our total human inheritance from all the world cultures, not just our particular historical "tribe" based on geography or skin color.
  
  So, if I were teaching today, I would start and stay with the absolute non-conditional Truth - which is true education, that will set a person free (and not merely to be a trained “productive citizen” for the Corporate State). Thus, I would teach the children, working from the most superficial level of appearances to the Root Profundity of all appearances, this:
  
  “before you became an African, you were already human; and before you became a human, you were already the mind; and before you became the mind, you were already the body; and before you became the body, you were already Spirit-Energy -- and Spirit-Energy is the Radiant-Force of Consciousness Itself, and everything and everyone that arises is nothing but a temporary modification of this Conscious-Light. Thus, at the Root Profundity, all functional and superficial appearances are Only Conscious-Light - Only You, As You Is.”
  
  Now, that would likely be very controversial, but it is the Very Truth.
  
  Thanks again for your question! Please feel free (you or anyone else) to any question. ♥ Love, g

Outrage: Self Hatred, SocioPsychoPathology and, Are We What We Rail Against

You all need to see the documentary Outrage (2009). It blew my mind.
It said that DC has more gays, homosexuals and down low men than SanFran. \\
 it was also deep when a question was framed as to the women who marry and defend these men. but the point of the whole film is the damaging and extreme legislation these folk pass, despite their lives...that is where the idea of "Self-Hatred" entered

It was so extreme, I realized that one must in all sanity assume all are gay, (Ed Koch was gay for crying out loud: Crist in Florida, tapped to be the next Republican frontrunner for 2012 is gay for crying out loud; and I realized the connection of the pres being a black man; and the trends, lines and zeitgeist...the next step is a white gay male in the white house, for we have crossed the greatest taboo...and if you connect this to all the homosexual illuminati theories...well...was it a staging...) especially in recent days and times and the blurring of gender lines among males...the metros, the beautiful more groomed than me metros

the film was also interesting for the names mentioned but no investigation or comment given...those well groomed, super coiffed, gorgeous politicos)...Romney?

I speak as a hetero woman; not against gay men or people...but there are consequence of not living truth in personal life..and it affects all of us, no matter what label we carry. "An indictment of closeted politicians who lobby for anti-gay legislation in the U.S." is what the film is about...but as I reflect on it, and saw so many riveting characters and stories in the documentary, my muse ran away with me...

Barney Frank had a good line: "you have the right to personal privacy, but not legislative protection" or something like that.

Wow. The Closet...For some, for the grand great ones, The Closet is the Location of staunch Manhood...the message from a scene from another film inserted in the documentary..where Al Pacino is the character...it is that ego that proclaims manhood of gays as those preferring the closet, if i got it right, but i missed what film that was, al Pacino was great as always in that snippet. Reminiscent of the "u want the truth, you can't handle the truth" twist...and form..he is saying, character is withholding the truth...bizarre.  (sociopsychopathology ~ self hatred and the genocide of others)

A Gay Activist called all the legislation from the 70s and 80s as exactly that, in the time of HIV>AiDS...genocidal!!@! the doc said that the greatest number of high flying politicos was in the republican party heyday of Ronald Reagan..

It was a captivating film.
It also showed how closeted gays seem to cleave and drive to the Republican party as a means of cover and protection..no one expects the wolf in the herd of sheep; and the party;'s religious fundamentalism...is the shed

overall points of the film:
how those who profess the greatest and most extreme level of anti-gay sentiments are the ones who are flaming the closet.

Real Deep cause the larger human question remains: are we what we are against?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1049400/

if i tiptoe a dream slowly...MenTalk (C) (R) (2011, mdhuggins)

Roger. a few weeks ago i fancied having a circle of men speak, share, open, unpack and process through their lives and experiences together.....i wanted to film and shoot the process, perhaps over a series of gatherings. i would have called it Men Talk...i would have sold the use and distribution rights to media to show it..i would have put the call out for whatever men would want to do the next series and the next; or organize different MenTalks around the nation...I read you and think you would be a great candidate to participate in something like that...there were only four others, you would be the fifth, ranging in age from the 20s to 50.. right now..but not limited

the one thing about all the males so far...they are all men.  they are all nice men trying...but struggling to process...

men need to talk. women need to talk too, but well...i guess the do sometimes or society makes it alright for them to; men need to be given the pass, the landscape and the support to do that..and if we make it public and national i think we may begin to teach, wayshow and example what might be possible other than the lashing out in myriad ways we see..

i have not acted on this because i do not know (wonder) if i have the means. i did not have the equipment (although I hear I may have access to it). I think of one place to have the first one (but then I wonder if the people will try to steal the idea and project from me)..that has happened more times than i care to remember in short eight years in trinidad...but i write it here, because i am also believing, learning and thinking...that if i cant do something, send it out to the universe, maybe someone else is more capable than me...( but that has not been the case: visions are not easily transferable things; and even if someone executed, some elements or seminal character pieces would be missing...)

there are some of us who just try to hold up others; hold space for others, so that the best of themselves may be free...freed...

cheers

(wow, what was that>?)

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"The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird sleeps in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul, a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities..." ~James Allen

Chris Love's Key to My Life (RE: What do you need to do to stop yourself)

Chris Love

Take a moment to 'think'.
Many years ago, I taught myself to say a phrase in my head many times throughout the day: " I remember myself...I am here".
That would remind me to be 'present', at that moment in time.
Then, I would take an 'assessme...nt' of the thoughts and emotions that had been running, unchecked, through my mind and body and how they were making me feel at that moment.
I would cull out the ones I didn't want then, or that seemed contrary to the task at hand, then I could change my thinking or perception of the situations around me.
( The Fourth Way by P D Ouspensky...warning, Ouspensky is very intellectually centered, lacking heart centered thinking...maybe Maurice Nichole's books are easier to read)
Saved loads of energy this way...plus, the state of things outside me stopped determining how I felt and thought inside.
It's a way to break habitual reactions...the Buddhists call them 'habit mind'.
("Gnani Yoga" by Ramasharaka)

Compassionate Revolution Noble Resistance #Eygpt * Egypt

i was and am and have been wracking my brain to understand what it is that galvanized that population; what it is within them that had the christians shielding the muslims at prayer, and vice versa; what it is that allowed civilians to conduct themselves in that of most noblest of ways...for 18 days; what it is that allowed and made those people be committed to freedom or death or death for freedom'; and gave them a mettle, steel and resolve that they would have stood there for as long as it took. I am just shuddered into silence to figure that out. once we figure that out, we may very well have solved the human problem on the planet. for nothing mattered but country and high ideals not politics or personal petty interests.

this would be a wonderful academic exploration and symposium

Guest Blogger: Dheena Sadik/ 93. Quit the Drama

Quit over-expecting,                                                                
Quit over-analyzing,
Quit over-explaining,
Quit over-defining,


Quit over-dissecting,
Quit all the labeling,
Quit fighting 'their' boundaries,
Quit defending 'their' systems!


Quit judging,
Quit over-trying,
Quit controlling your growth,
Quit stunting your evolution,

Because...

This is YOUR time,
This is YOUR Life,
This is YOUR journey,
These are YOUR moments,

To which you hold the RIGHTS to YOUR innate freedom,

This is YOUR Day,
to which YOU are accountable every second,

SO...

Take 100% responsibility for YOUR ride.

Eventually...

In the end all that matters is how genuinely and deeply you recognized God through your very core, your intuitions and your Heart as it was not about pleasing them dear Soul...

It always was, is and will be between the Divine Source that sent You and me HERE for this Human Physical Experience.

After all the bruises, tears and challenges, BREATH and simply BELIEVE that you will make it through....

Since....

With God all GREAT things are possible!

-Dr. Dheena Sadik.2011

via - http://chosenodyssey.blogspot.com/