tonight things occurred in my life that never happened in my 46 years prior.
i was a moving mark.
travelling all over the world and this country, to and in crowds; and for the first time, I was marked, because i raised my hand to take a pictu...re...and my gold bracelet, one of three, on one hand, shone in the bright lights. the vultures were watching...the young unbred hungry vultures.
and when the snatch happened, would you believe my NY flipped, and I grabbed him. Had him by the shirt: an orange and white striped on a tall lanky young fella...and a white shirt behind him. I let go. Remembering all the times in news of people who stand up to keep what is being taken and either losing eye, limb or life...my grandmother;'s gold band, older than I and many, and in gold they do not make any more. I let go. There will be more. The other side is already on my hand. In replacement. After the incident, I knew i would go into perpetual replay, so i told myself, let it go. We all do as we must, as what we know how, according to our options, and according to our base and hungers. Let it go.
But I did have thoughts
How does this happen to Vigilant Vanguard Me? NYC me? Me always Hawking my surroundings me?
Then i immediately think of my company. I always have a silent admonishment for the company we keep. I try not to go out with folk who cannot bring me back, or folk who dont or cant have my back, or folk who dont know how. Yet, Here i am, there i was. IN just such a situation. When I snatched that little fella, why wasnt someone of my circle there to grab a hand; to check the scene. to be on call?? But most, very few operate that way; and usually just those so trained. I never was. But I am or used to be, Mafia.
So the traits maintain. Except for tonight...Seems like I had another spirit oversight; a step in. Cause these stories are not me.
And I wonder are we to stay home or have big burly security on either side and to the back and front of us...I wish. But I saw it..Had i been surrounded....
But it gets worse.
I get home and unpack my little bag. Only to discover my folder with my license and $210 or so is gone.. how fkg bizarre now. Either that fell out when I took out my handkerchief or my iph...
i must have really been gone from my body. what else could have happened? Me be left floating out there somewhere and my body return home. I am not absentminded; at least i used not to be. Is old catching a hold of me? or do I go into spiritual vacuums and spirit cover and attachment, where my natural known self is over-riden?
And i hate being one of these persons who search for meaning in every feather that flies. And I am thinking, what is it>? am i to step into a new being. A new identity, a new form. Am i paying alms for the riches that is about to befall me. Am i shearing off the old in ways that are just merely and small, symbolic
I cant even be mad. I am more perplexed than anything else..Truly So.
And then I get home and I was just going to write " to be a mark or to walk with security"/./ but the first entry on my fb stream is PEA, mentioning Daniel..where I spoke of him this morning and said, I would never let my children out of my sight. But i have no children. And i take nothing or no one for granted. Nothing is a given. My experience tonight says that...I am no longer free of returning home the way i left. I am even asking myself is it that i must lock myself up and never wear my stuff. But so much of it is left unworn anyhow. What i wear is nothing compared to what i was handed down or own...then i think of all those who lose far more...And i think, what is the use. Not like i have children to pass the heirloomsLi to; and it just makes space for more...when I open up the carrier to take out the other side, I realize...the pieces for replacement will just get bigger...Let them take them...the have nots...they are just scrambling for something from nothing...there is a cost. My tab came up.
But what else?> What else...? was this alm for life and lost of Daniel..the gold of my family stock..My license to replace; a new life come upon' and dollars that are like pennies..but not equal to a son who i would never let out of my sight. not him or any gold child.
so i release it all for those lost and the unnamed losses...
.....and seeing my hand from which Mama's bracelet was snatched..with the other side of the bracelet replaced... it hits me:
i have lost nothing that cannot be replaced. in humble gratitude...nothing of significance...in time, it will mean nothi...ng. Mama did not live for a bracelet...did not die requiring decree for her things...just life only to protect uphold and maintain. what is the point of having children if you cannot do that of simplest things for them: protect, uphold and maintain?
Light, Prayers and Praises
i was a moving mark.
travelling all over the world and this country, to and in crowds; and for the first time, I was marked, because i raised my hand to take a pictu...re...and my gold bracelet, one of three, on one hand, shone in the bright lights. the vultures were watching...the young unbred hungry vultures.
and when the snatch happened, would you believe my NY flipped, and I grabbed him. Had him by the shirt: an orange and white striped on a tall lanky young fella...and a white shirt behind him. I let go. Remembering all the times in news of people who stand up to keep what is being taken and either losing eye, limb or life...my grandmother;'s gold band, older than I and many, and in gold they do not make any more. I let go. There will be more. The other side is already on my hand. In replacement. After the incident, I knew i would go into perpetual replay, so i told myself, let it go. We all do as we must, as what we know how, according to our options, and according to our base and hungers. Let it go.
But I did have thoughts
How does this happen to Vigilant Vanguard Me? NYC me? Me always Hawking my surroundings me?
Then i immediately think of my company. I always have a silent admonishment for the company we keep. I try not to go out with folk who cannot bring me back, or folk who dont or cant have my back, or folk who dont know how. Yet, Here i am, there i was. IN just such a situation. When I snatched that little fella, why wasnt someone of my circle there to grab a hand; to check the scene. to be on call?? But most, very few operate that way; and usually just those so trained. I never was. But I am or used to be, Mafia.
So the traits maintain. Except for tonight...Seems like I had another spirit oversight; a step in. Cause these stories are not me.
And I wonder are we to stay home or have big burly security on either side and to the back and front of us...I wish. But I saw it..Had i been surrounded....
But it gets worse.
I get home and unpack my little bag. Only to discover my folder with my license and $210 or so is gone.. how fkg bizarre now. Either that fell out when I took out my handkerchief or my iph...
i must have really been gone from my body. what else could have happened? Me be left floating out there somewhere and my body return home. I am not absentminded; at least i used not to be. Is old catching a hold of me? or do I go into spiritual vacuums and spirit cover and attachment, where my natural known self is over-riden?
And i hate being one of these persons who search for meaning in every feather that flies. And I am thinking, what is it>? am i to step into a new being. A new identity, a new form. Am i paying alms for the riches that is about to befall me. Am i shearing off the old in ways that are just merely and small, symbolic
I cant even be mad. I am more perplexed than anything else..Truly So.
And then I get home and I was just going to write " to be a mark or to walk with security"/./ but the first entry on my fb stream is PEA, mentioning Daniel..where I spoke of him this morning and said, I would never let my children out of my sight. But i have no children. And i take nothing or no one for granted. Nothing is a given. My experience tonight says that...I am no longer free of returning home the way i left. I am even asking myself is it that i must lock myself up and never wear my stuff. But so much of it is left unworn anyhow. What i wear is nothing compared to what i was handed down or own...then i think of all those who lose far more...And i think, what is the use. Not like i have children to pass the heirloomsLi to; and it just makes space for more...when I open up the carrier to take out the other side, I realize...the pieces for replacement will just get bigger...Let them take them...the have nots...they are just scrambling for something from nothing...there is a cost. My tab came up.
But what else?> What else...? was this alm for life and lost of Daniel..the gold of my family stock..My license to replace; a new life come upon' and dollars that are like pennies..but not equal to a son who i would never let out of my sight. not him or any gold child.
so i release it all for those lost and the unnamed losses...
.....and seeing my hand from which Mama's bracelet was snatched..with the other side of the bracelet replaced... it hits me:
i have lost nothing that cannot be replaced. in humble gratitude...nothing of significance...in time, it will mean nothi...ng. Mama did not live for a bracelet...did not die requiring decree for her things...just life only to protect uphold and maintain. what is the point of having children if you cannot do that of simplest things for them: protect, uphold and maintain?
Light, Prayers and Praises
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