IndiGos Dont Ask Such Questions

It has been forever since I wrote . but for not one minute think a lot has not been happening

Someone asked me was my life fine the apparent broken way it is (or something like that)...and here was my answer. It was in a facebook i was in very briefly, for two days and nights before being booted out by the perpetual noviced (seeker)...there was a lot more I had shared in there and it hit me overnight that it was great material of my ethnography...only to find out I could not access it. Beware to whom and where you drop your pearls. pigs will never see the gleam of their coat...only their own ugly brokenness are they destined to see...Nevertheless, this was waiting for me in an email draft...holding it i was when it would not post...aye trials and trails

["and that is the mystery
I think I took myself. well I know...i did ..of a kind of empowerment subject to nothing. no one. no spirit. But I think it was all of self, and my ego and this dimension.Others about me and around me..could see plain..."there was nothing I put my hand to that did not manifest or happen"> I was always from young, 16, a child who had her own. I think i am on my eight or ninth car. I been driving my own vehicle since I learned to drive. .i learned to drive from watching my father do it. before i had lessons. I failed my first test cause I never took lessons and did one thing wrong.: Reversed a vehicle without turning around and looking through the rear glass. I went to college and never shared a room. I always had my own space. house, home bathroom. Now look where I am. ANd it is about to get worse. One of my haters is coming to live in the house where i am.

I hesitate to talk about this because this.that these types of questions You ask Margaret are of the very thing I am being forced to learn. The idea that Everything has an earth bound rationale, explanation. To do that keeps us stuck at this base level of consciousness. I only see the difference in perspectives in juxtaposition by what is projected to me...like in that question or from my family. I am down to nothing. I have taken grace. they see i am down to nothing and think all kinds of things: Maybe my phd is not real. I dont know stuff. Something is wrong with me. I am less than. I am a failure. I wasted my life. And YES> I say those things too. For this dimension of the ground or its depth. BUt what else is there? Why am i being saved from being stressed out in a high flying job? WHy have i been saved from marrying a good for nothing husband? What am I to learn. Funny. I just posted about everything is a lesson

I dont know. I dont know as well as I do know. Cause one is based on faith and hope. And an awareness of existences and realities beyond what I see and feel here. And the other is just here. Just now. Just where I stand. I know more exists.

You ask me that question and do you realize it is the same question of the first prophet of this dimension: Jesus. ????

LOL> Why did he not fly away? why was he subjected to all that he was if he was in deed God's son? made in his image? Why was he so poor> so reviled? so hated>?

LOL>
I am laughing cause i never thought of that before in relation to myself

all i know is my ass is being kicked. but i see the blessings. that haters still malign me for. I am not on the street. I could have been. I am so protected and provided for. just not on my standards, my say, and my whims,. but i am provided for. and my parents are not doing it. one is dead and one is fucked up. Stole my inheritance and family legacy signed over to his new wife.

but./ i realize...that is all part of a larger plan. a larger outworking. If my grand mother and mother got their asses kicked in their life story. who the hell is me?

So i take grace and I take lessons.
even if i dont have the answers

it is hard. cause you know how old i am, yet how old do i look. why the hell is that?
i somehow think that has something to do with my challenges. the years are passing by burning like paper, yet, i seem to be like the bradd pit character who is moving back in age

And i think that might be one answer. the life i am to lead and live might be set apart. Not what I thought was trained, envisioned or what or how most do...to travel the ancient road. I dont know

the healer , the most prominent in my family, a national icon, i searched to find who trained him. and know what I found? no man did. spirits came for him at night. Entranced him. took him to the forest. Taught him and left him for him to snap out of it and wander back. His family always wondered if he would return safe and whole.

I just learned that this year. not even two three months ago

So the answer to your question darling is in the outworking I believe. I have no answers. I will only have them when I transition and move on. then i can tell what happened. I do know that --that story;//is strung along in hindsight...so the next piece of the puzzle will unfold and emerge...all i need to do is be faithful to a next step a next moment and Mags, If my life was to be an outward failure< those who have eyes to see, though they will never admit, they will say i was one wombmyn of amazing character and resolve. I never slipped and lost it. I was afflicted along the way because we are sentient beings. meaning we are just energy dense energy we feel everything. all our feelings are lodged in our energy field and it is a High Science Reiki master who in this dimension can remove them from any one person. and then you feel light as a feather. you do no longer feel yourself. we feel ourselves because we are weighed down by our hurts pains, journeying..

that is all i can offer. that is all my aim now..that if this be the road I am to endure...let me do it with light and grace. doesnt mean i dont cry. bemoan shattered dreams. pain for my choices for a higher purpose I thought and dreamed. but it is okay. How do i redeem. How do i still validate my mother giving me breath? having blessed the life blessed to me...what ever little that is, as much as it is not the grand scheme i imagined, I will make the best out of it

and this is how i take my current subjectivity and subjugation and total lack of power> Somebody some entity gave that power to me. I came out of some source with it. Of it. ANd just as I did that and it is not of me. as one small minute piece of this cosmos, is the same way that some entity, something some purpose is blocking what I thought was and how to be my manifestation

And again balance and right thinking. I cant revel in glory as I did in my past life: Michigan, Africa, Delaware, NY and Florida. and not revel in the coming down, at the ground> Then I would be a complete---i have no words for that level of dishonesty deceit. ugliness.

I made beautiful when I had
I make beautiful now with nothing

And I know that to be true for the surprised comments of others.

the househelp says to me, "at least you can laugh"

What am i to do? Shrivel up and die? And I feel sad, cause what I have gone through, others might consider killing themselves... but faith in something else, something bigger. Something loftier. Maybe. And if nothing else. I would have had a mighty story. Who knew

___

I could keep writing. I read your questions again to test my thoughts and I see something else. When I was born who said, wrote or determined, where? what life i was destined to lead????

who?
cause if it is written no one showed it to me
I just came out a warrior fighting for justice and the underdog. fighting not to be an underdog. fighting refusing to be subjugated as i see most women to males and systems that dont mean them well>>who says my dreams and ideas and entrepreneurship was what was destined???

who says who knows

After my many decades of empowerment, I think this time, perhaps humility.

And I get to know what most dont ever learn. Painfull for me for their judgement on my life and what they think they see and how they perceive I am...but it is funny...and i deal with this daily...I am learning to still be love...to still be graceful. People thought i should have fought my father for what he took away but...Did i create that> Did I sweat and die for that > NO> that was my ancestors, his parents, and my parents who created that. And if they did not write me down on paper as owning..who am i to fight them in whose court for that? Talk about shitty karma. THink any of my mother;s familuy can see that/?

they who save me resent me for my core, and character, my talents. they will not help me manifest but will ask me why and how come

Those nuanced. unbelievable dissonant observations. amaze me. they teach me. they deepen me., i feel in time i am becoming like a gibran, rumi, reilke or marley...but what does it serve me in this money world?

Nothing but derision
If that be my cup. let me serve it hot

<3

I have no idea sister. I am just walking.
asking and praying for strength and protection
making sure the road and choices i take lead me to a higher place and not a pit. But if it is a pit...I shall be like joan of arc saying burn me bitches.

that is it. that is all I have
Sorry for the cliches. I am a writer ;)"]

Cowardice is the Worst Disease of the Heart

Written by Muhammad Muwakil

she makes laws about time
and then goes to the store
to buy batteries for the wall clock
which stops when it wants
and fucks up her day
she doesnt understand
and i suspect she never will
that time is a river
not a line
you sail on it
not walk
you hope the current takes you where you want to go
but waterfalls are inevitable
and if you really want to chart the stream
you have to think in centuries
but you have sold your inheritance
for make up and jewels
and i often wonder
what is love truly.
Lord protect me from the coldness of age
that makes one forget that it is blood and pain that forge dynasties
and cowardice is the worst disease of the heart
cowardice is the worst disease of the heart

 56 minutes ago · 9:44am Thursday, March 22, 2012

A Great Accolade

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  • "I have just been reading your notes, and a few posts on your page. It is wonderful to read! So much of the same on Facebook recently. To know there is other women out in this world, actually doing something, voicing strongly what they beleive, gives me faith. I believe that a woman needs to have her own voice, so others can join their voices together.
    
     Reading your words, has given me the strength to keep on with a process I am doing alone here. Standing up to a court system, no legal representation, just my belief in what is right and just...and taken it to the highest I can go with a request for review of the judge's behaviour. As one of your posts mentioned, how children are taught to lie and manipulate. This very court supported and encouraged the adults to manipulate my son. A long story, though I am encouraged by your words, to stand up for myself and keep standing up, no matter what "
    
    
     Louise Barbara Verney

The Colors and Muse of Alignment, Light and Seasons

Maven Huggins                   

Feel like there is so much to write. yet i am paralyzed. of a kind
Feel like there is so much food and fodder to fuel, but it is too much, where and how to start. And i keep thinking of that graphic that shows a goal and in between a grand ground hole titled the internet, between self and goal.

Last week. was a very peculiar time. in the cosmos and how that dynamic affected me. [*&(@] > see below
I can call it Holika Week 2012.

and i just watched a clip on KONY2012 on headline news and realize, more fodder. {be careful what you do, how you do, what you did, what you are reaching for; the very thing may fall down and crush you}. anyone noticing a very metaphysical spiritual confusion in a lot of events and outworkings. Kony founder is one story. manning;s debilitating stroke is another? bizarre events that seem to send signals / where one wonders what and who is really roaming the lands.

makes me think of the book i am reading now, Angelology. a fiction for sure. but what happens when the fiction you are reading is modeled and repeated in symbols in the real world? the Angels, the Great Race, the pure Nephilim are from Europe much as the Illuminati and their schemes plans and actions as put forth in conspiracy theories.
Endless

but last week starting with Phagwa. an unspoken unconsidered personal exploration of my presence and engagement. save for another asking me why i was there. I took it casual, but now in hindsight, cant overlook the fact that it was the event to start my very odd seven day experience.

then i realized i was real agitated, frustrated and angry in the midst of days between monday to wednesday, with the work being done in the yard. how other's choices affect our lives, and seeing stupid in train. can be very destabilizing.

then my mom's 70th birthday brought with it amazing insights and dynamics that i was not prepared for that stayed with me in reflection till saturday.

then by friday, i realized how stress i really was by my body;s reaction to it and how we absorb and coexist with stress and dont know it until there is a problem to manage. and how blessed i am that my stress is the odd event and very rare. scary

all of that i could be writing about. I woke up this morning pondering all. same thing on Sunday. musing how i would write it all. but still refusing to write. either in my journal, an essay piece or my blog. Odd. i am not sure what is the block or unwillingness. perhaps my hig her Self knows and in time it will flow, effortlessly. for now it remains in my head

Then i have been musing on a writing experiment, apart from my constant reflectographing...to take a powerful book, written by a best author. Mark Twain, VS Naipaul, or Toni Morrison...or Garcia Marquez...and for every line. rewrite in some context or story I know. And what will that be in the end? How good or quirky> Just to get me writing stories. I feel I cant do the latter. But I can document my eye observation really well.

another material i ponder: how to write a piece to highlight the paradoxical lies of the english language: "i killed you out of kindness" is taken to mean one thing; but really, focus on the ;out: and you see the way in which language is used to masque not convey. i find that mind blowing. how to expand that, how to explore that . in to a book. into an essay. and perhaps more than me, Bradd needs to do that undertaking

tell you: endless food and fodder. but still, no writing ;)
Except as Briefs on FB ;)

once upon a time I wished for a patron to support these kinds of time filling muse, complete with budget, room and house in mountains, and endless books being delivered :)

they used to call that an academic>

Huh. then i did forget the real work academic stuff.
To research and map; to write a model of Trinidad andTobag0 economy. To formulate the stylized facts. document and publish for refereed feedback. to have seminars and national, regional conferences to present and receive competing viewpoints.
what kind of economy is trinidad and tobago. and please idiot do not mimic for me: an oil and gas economy>// I mean, beyond that. How is it the state is the center of everything but we call this a capitalism? I wish to refute those lies and misdirectives to fit our country in the north colonial neocolonial neoclassic

Then after I do that outlining and theorizing. I would do a national input output study. that is mapping all the businesses and industries, and their sectors in the country. a complete I/O tells you when you drop a dollar in that maze, where it is filtered out to , by penny and fractions of pennies. how many persons in labor it hires, creates, uses, how many units of fuel it consumes, how much taxes generated, at what level. and how much investment and income it yields. Real stuff. Real Numbers. Real Thinking. Real Nuts and Bolts. and tell you how many women are working, how and where at what wages. Not the bullshit this place and all its lords and overlords tripe. Not one economist I see here deals in the real, the only one I think attempted to get.reach, was Lloyd Best. Who has taken him up since the what? 70s? Lol. sick to realize the absence of real work
we are really a petri dish of our own making and sustaining/ it is not real

Third Economic thing I would do. Describe, Document, Photograph and Factualize Poverty as it is Experienced, Observed, Realized in particular form in this Trinidad Tobago/ Where folk have expensive shoes but live in shacks. where the density of bodies rivals what China and Asia? where we dump our garbage where we live. do not sweep or wash streets, and plant dumps in the middle of pristine hills. ThatTnT Poverty --
that would be the name of the project, the papers, conferences and the Final Report

Fourth socio-economic-political assessment I would do?
Acquire handheld devices, written with specially personally designed programs and applications and count every man jack woman jill in the country; of all babes in arm, at breast, in womb, and by age. up to retirees. and invalids.
we are not 1.3 million for the life of this country. It kills me that we are so collectively and completely dotish to allow that number to be told to us and repeated in perpetuity. I know one other who have baled and that is David Bratt.

I might hire him to do the next important and critical SEP study.
SEP= SocioEconomicPolitical > To map the health profile of this country. We have more than 150K with Diabetes. We do not know how many have and have died of cancer. And I would one to do a real sword and knife assessment of health no-care, non-care in the country. How many we kill and maim for sport? That will be one of the sections, if not a paper. . Babes, Fetuses and Mothers, Prime on the list.
I will end here. Think if I keep writing the work will never end.

Another Critical Piece Required?
An assessment of the Educational Process and System. The question?
How on earth do we produce such total idiots? What is the Curriculum? What do they graduate doing? Then we get to the companies, public sector, banks and services, wasa and electricity, roads and hospitals/ their performance and outputs. and we ask, how do we make people to conduct in this fashion?
Perhaps., we can identify the pings and work backwards to construct a curriculum of function that includes Reading, Problem Identification, Agency and Empowerment, Citizen Mobilization, Problem Solving, Problem Avoidance. Citizen Contribution, Rights and Responsibility, Math, Science, Language, Building, Engineering and Agriculture, Environmental Care and Protection. Hygiene, Maintenance and Cleanliness. Consideration, Fairness, Exact Justice,; Fellow Stewardship. You get the picture. Think I might call this sector, Liberation/a big part of Liberation is Sitting Silence, Envisioning Self Elevation and Meditation for the students/enrolled.
And how do we make this education Public for All. even those beyond school age. Just Alive and Awake.

yeah. my work plan from 2012 - 2017.
an IDB, World Bank, IMF Funded Project
(think i been writing for 45 mins)

_-------[*&(@]

Dennis Fairchild   "Don't you love how on aspected days like today, how the brain wanders away from everyday trance, ready to register details that have been invisible before? If you've been agitated lately, consider Franz Kafka's advice: "You need not do anything. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, just wait. You need not even wait, just learn to be quiet, still, and solitary. And the world will freely offer itself to you unmasked. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet." For the moment, take time to tune in to the shattering sweetness of life exactly as it is."

-----
It is real

it is the sacred feminine that guides me...

March 5 and 6 shows deep sensitivities, with boundary issues coming to the surface – shown by the Moon in Cancer aspected by Saturn. These days are all about selfless love, like the love we give children, pets and other selfless connections. March 8 is a time to assert a positive self-image with the full moon in Leo (approx 9:30 AM GMT). The Leo Full moon is the halfway point in the Aquarius cycle, a time of connecting to service and larger social themes. The Leo full Moon shows where we must connect the larger Aquarian themes to authentic passion and joy (Leo) in ourselves and others. Dignified service (Aquarius) demands we put our heart on the line and honor the individual creativity of each person (Leo). This full moon is joined Mars and aspect by Jupiter, showing courage and grace in this process.
M arch 11 and 12 could be depressing days with the Saturn/Moon conjunction. Saturn gives us the awareness of limitations, the need to avoid danger, the remembrance of our mistakes, etc. – all the fun stuff! These things of Saturn compel us to greatness because it shows us the truth. But the truth is not always pleasant. Can you face the truth? Solitude and simplicity are best on these days. March 12 communication issues are big as Mercury turns retrograde. Yes the great astrology scapegoat “Mercury retrograde” is upon us again until April 4 ; so you now have a cosmic explanation for why all things “bad” are happening! Seriously, Mercury retrograde is a time to slow down and reflect on what you say and communicate on all levels. We feel the sting of our poor communications at this time. March 13 and 14 avoid processing difficult emotions with others as the Moon is debilitated with Rahu on these days. You may exaggerate interactions toward the negative now, with a good ‘ole dose of jealousy, paranoia and obsession thrown in. On the positive side, solitude and emotional courage/responsibility will be rewarded with a major breakthrough and important emotional clearing. March 14 and 15 may show conflicts between purpose (Jupiter) and pleasure (Venus), with Jupiter and Venus in planetary war in Aries. As both of these planets are teachers, there will be big lessons about the choices you make between happiness in the moment, and the long-term goals. Are the things that make you happy also serving your long-term growth? March 16 will be an inspired day with Jupiter aspecting the Moon as it moves through Sagittarius. Study and connect to great teachings and teachers that fill you with the belief and remembrance of your true purpose. This is also a great day for you to teach others. March 20 and 21 could show some emotional frustration as the Moon in Aquarius opposes retrograde Mars in Leo. You are feeling duty bound to larger causes and culture (Moon in Aquarius), yet others are driven by their own personal agendas (Mars in Leo). Turn potential enemies into allies by reorienting their passion, willfulness and enthusiasm toward a higher purpose. March 22 begins a month of exposing our attachments with the New moon in Pisces. Pisces is the 12th sign of the Zodiac, showing the culmination of our karma. The goal of life is to surrender ownership to something larger and more eternal. We own nothing here and must relinquish it all. In the absolute sense, nothing real ever dies. This new Moon is joined retrograde Mercury showing there may be confusion separating truth from fiction now. Be careful with what you are calling “reality”. March 25 and 26 hit the ground running with the Moon in Aries joined Venus and Jupiter. Aries is the sign of enthusiasm, passion and courage for life’s challenges and new experiences. Jupiter and Venus are the two teachers, but the teach different things. You may feel this conflict as you pursue pleasure (Venus) and higher principles (Jupiter) simultaneously."

http://www.mydailyastrology.net/join/featured-articles/vedic-astrology-horoscope-for-march-2012

Fame

addiction and fame
addicted to fame
addiction is the other side of fame
the road to fame is addiction
addiction is the arrival of fame
the cliff, the precipice, the drop off
as sheep into the sea
fame will lead you through addiction \to that ever eternity
what and how you do in this life is the path to your next?
pacifying the pain in a looking for a next pipe?
or made what kind of whole off what unshorn pieces?
who knows

I just know that my fame is to buy me peace and spaces set apart
from demons and other death dwellers, dark salesmen and grifter women
beaches in the caribbean or oxygenated air in jordan
black sea minerals to rub in israel
the cacao of the mayan
or bush of the kalihari
just sun and sea
the black hole and merry centered me

my fame is a ticket to freedom, not the lottery
"Having it all can leave you with nothing at all"*
go back to your civil rights and anti slavery
we keep forgetting so life keeps taking its toll.
something will be paid

do we pay for distance and risk space
or pay for trouble to come?
on the hooves, hide and riding the backs of fame

12:48pm Sunday February 12, 2012
* Line of Author Jeff Winbush

Whitney ~ Stars Fall From the Sky

Whitney died at 48. I just turned 47 on Monday past, February 6th
"Let Whitney tribute Whitney.is what i would do for the Grammys tomorrow." (today)

Maven Huggins

NYC Journalist just Inboxed me that Whitney Houston died.

and I thought she was writing to tell me Whitney Houston needs a writer.
SMFH>

Maven Huggins

wish i could run out to somwhere, to someplace, full of Whitney people...in a flash mob of all her hits.. i would so do that. Need to do that..Whitney just phucked up my evening and my Chocolat reverie

Maven Huggins

‎"cacao holds the power to unfold hidden yearnings and reveal destines"

evidently I am not drinking enough or the right kind or raw enough cacao.
and i am angry at Whitney. I have no information but this is not seeming like an accident. the timing is too peculiar...night of Clive Davis/ dinner, night before Grammys...and not like I was entwined with sister/ gave her up long ago when i realized she was just ghetto dressed up

and I do get to say and be truthful, with no fear, I was on the turnpike with sister
hope the path she now takes brings her peace
sad/ from the heights of joy to/and pain, and,
where do broken hearts, souls and pieces go?

Peace Whitney.
the words 'your love is my love' comes to mind...and then i think of her song.
How Apt.

Whitney Houston - My Love Is Your Love

www.youtube.com

Music video by Whitney Houston performing My Love Is Your Love. (C) 1998 Arista Records, Inc.

Maven Huggins

is a black wombman's pain universal?
cause why do I have tears for Whitney
even as I am mad at her
And been dismissed her, for years now?

Life is Wild. and you gotta live long enough
to surprise yourself
47/48

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    Nandi Keyi-Ogunlade I feel the same way. Totally amazed that I feel this profound sadness at this.

    
    

    Melville Foster It's like taking an ax and destroying a Steinway.

    
    

    Malcolm Arnold some one who has touched the very soul of so many will always be mourned --as it should be Let us celebrate her and the star she reached and not concentrate on her individual human struggles

    
    

    Richard Ian Jay for potential unrealized.

    
    

    Malcolm Arnold The old man , " Master have I learnt all my lessons in life ? Master " no my son you are still alive ! she reached her full potential
    

    
    
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    Maven Huggins was just thinking of that but not in that way. i did actually realize there was no more road for her to reach. i did realize unless she fixed herself even if alive she was not going to create any more muse or anything for that matter, it appears; and then i twas stunning that could be so for a mere 48 year old with such a voice
    
    I see one thing..how us humans tell ourselves stories for what we do not know and cant understand/ but likewise, for trying to posit fill in and complete stories...when they just may be dangling threads

    
    

    Malcolm Arnold ANd , do we need to know all .Where knowing finishes FAITH starts

    
    

    Malcolm Arnold and this is our own personal version of FAITH . NOT blind faith following another's words or explanations
    

    
    
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    Chris Love Because, regardless of color and gender, it grieves us to see someone who had the capacity to shine so brightly, to lighten us with music; someone who had such incredible control of voice, give in to the quicksand of dark people who suck others dry and leave them as a shell of what they once were.

 Maven Huggins funny too
I had to stifle the impetus to get up and run...run tell dat...through the streets...like paul riveire..and had to remember where I was and who I am around...

i feel this is kind of a second michael jackson but not really...she was never as deep as he...just another tragic black chick, with talent blown

and some of us are struggling to make it. others blow it . on their backs, through their nose, by their choices. gdmanit

Chantalle F. Verna

maybe this can be a balm for the ache in your soul.

Marianne Williamson

May Whitney Houston's soul rest peacefully. She spread so much light: I remember that early video of her in the white dress singing "The Greatest Love," and it was like she was an angel. Gratitude and praise for her existence, and prayers that she find happiness now. On the human plane a true tragedy, but here's to knowing that God gets the final say...

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    Maven Huggins
    

    girl, i am just sitting here trying to process...the palpable ache in my soul. you bring the exact words.
    
    
    then it gets me to thinking how we better know and learn what is pain and what to do /how to treat with it, lest it destroys us, either quickly or slowly...
    
    know how to be at peace at all and everything, in every moment. attached to nothing, either or.
    
    and I have learned from walking on the dark side, having to go there for loved ones, that happiness nor peace is not promised in transition or death. Many who pass on are roaming this earth, tormented, unawares, struggling to get back. I do not make up what I am writing...i lived it with my brother, the one who passed in 1988.>>>
    
    But love you Chantalle for sharing..in any case, no matter what it is, we have no power, and I do as in all things, give it to a higHer Power and the Light...
    
    I think of my brokenheartedness and think of those her crew, friends and family as they circle a shot at the beverly hills hotel, aljazeera

    
    

    
    
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    Maven Huggins ♥
    

    
    
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    Maven Huggins I come back to this Chantalle F. Verna and think of A Balm in Babylon

Maven Huggins shared a link.

Whitney Houston - It's Not Right But It's Okay

www.youtube.com

Music video by Whitney Houston performing It's Not Right But It's Okay. (C) 1999 Arista Records Inc.

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    Chris Ren it's not right...and definitely not ok either
    

    
    
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    Masego Makepe Yes. She should have left Bobby after 72 days of marriage. He introduced her to all this poison. Her music changed too reflecting the mess she was in. But like most women she stayed too long to her demise, making excuses for herself...I mean, how can it not be rite but be ok. Hell no. Ke tshaba Satan!
    

    
    
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    Maven Huggins hey. i just happy there are more harsh truth writers than I/ I agree
    
    see I wrote that black folk need an intervention; and perhaps black women in particular. see how common this story. anyway you want to dice or slice: Bad Choices, Bad Associations, A Sliding Slope to Destruction and the JoyTrauma of the Demons all the Happy way ..
    
    how do we make peace with the conditions and experiences about us?

Maven Huggins

Son of Baldwin asks, "who should pay tribute to Whitney Houston?"
and I have two responses/questions

one, is the world upside down and turned in on itself when the old must stand in for the young? I think of Aretha Franklin/
second, what of the world when even the young and younger are all gone? I think ..of the English soul chick rail thin bouffant hair who drank drugged herself to death (Amy Winehouse)

who pays tribute to Whitney should have some measure of that woman's grit and rough edges...like I say, turnpike/ the funny thing is though that there is no one like Whitney; the only one close to her was decades older and just died, Ms. Etta James. She was rough, ghetto before there was the term; and it was polished over for the audience; since then no one has been like Whitney; straight ghetto but packaged and created as a pop vehicle fooling people. so eVeryone was shocked at here association with Bobby...failing to see that water always gets to its level.

then I get to a whole new and different class of folk, from across the ocean.
many sever breaks and disconnects

Maven Huggins

when Dr. Drew picks you up, your story is written
when EuroNews is ticker taping you, and,
AlJazeera has full coverage-- with a bitingly harsh bitter revealing interview with an English Entertainment Journalist/Columnist, Rob Shuter

"her reality show, Mrs. Bobby Brown showed the truth and dropped the veil that Clive and the record company kept hidden for decades..." (go back to what I glibly mentioned...

You Know you are BIG

Maven Huggins

OK?
Ok.
Black Folk Need an INTERVENTION
2012
Black History Month
Don and Whitney

Ticker is Rolling

Whitney Houston's Publicist is saying, "no one is surprised, though shocked"///news report..911 call... this is as I suspected....

we need an intervention

Kahshanna Evans

I stopped half way through an article about Whitney today. The pen or the person had allegiance to their structure, but didn't capture the struggle or the soul of our late performer. Perhaps without her guidance there are things we'll be guessing about, but also blessing about. I have deep and tumultuous affairs of my own to scrutinize and understand, my own vices to battle, my own struggle with balancing being eccentric with what is acceptable, normal and even celebrated. Rest in greater hands, Whitney.

• • 
    

    Maven Huggins hm. i like your words...i can stand with them. In them. But i take the lesson, did so a long time ago, actually, to be extra careful with who I associate, assign, take in; to watch my choices, my paths...I was always afraid of catching a demise or destroying another, particularly in the case of having a child. I always thought something was wrong with me to be so careful about unperceived consequences, but I learned early I guess the case of unintended consequences and how immovable and irreversible they can be.
    
    and that has been the path and the lesson here..
    
    "I have deep and tumultuous affairs of my own to scrutinize and understand, my own vices to battle, my own struggle with balancing being eccentric with what is acceptable, normal and even celebrated."
    
    I want to say "Yes" to your quote and continue with..."but let them and nothing destroy me"...I even channeled that last night when I posted about dealing with pain; knowing what to do and how to do that it is not our march to death...but the truth is dear Kahshanna, and I feel I can take the liberty to share my inner journey with you on your posts, I dont even do 'tumultuous", I live in a country where women regularly and daily pay for that mistake at the hands of their men...and not in the indirect way of Whitney either; but at direct violence
    
    Its deep/ but i write cause i love the compassion you share here
    ♥
    
    ------------
    
     =========================
    
    Tuesday, February 14, 2012
     From Piers Morgan TV SHow
     
    Singer-songwriter Chaka Khan first recorded the single "I'm Every Woman," a song Houston took to new heights 15 years later. Calling the late star her "little sister," Chaka Khan questions the decision to proceed with Clive Davis' annual pre-Grammy party just hours after Houston's passing:
    
    "I thought that was complete insanity," Chaka Khan tells Morgan. "I don't know what could motivate a person, to have a party, in a building, where the person, whose life he had influenced so enormously, and whose life had been affected by her...I don't understand how that party went on."

To See The Myth of All Things - Black History Month

Maven Huggins

iI Am and of The Journey People of The African Continent and its Islands
Some of us may even be from other plats and Planets, Interspecies
As such, my history predates the minute men and subjugators
Even though I may have largely personally escaped, I am still shackled by the least or those still, all unknown, without and within my gaze
Thus, my story exceeds a month of telling, much less so to even gather, and never in all these days, decades and centuries, been known or compiled by their various end threads. Farther and Further still, Truth

I am Not Black. Melanin itself is not; Those, they were created on your shores, under your economy and its lands creations. Not the start of my timeline.

In fact, we traveled, flew, sailed, moored and returned back a few times before you were born.

I came with the One Mother who birthed you, surely, surrey, you would see the folly of the child trying to write to limit the story of the ancients, beyond its suckling breasts, even.

Having come before you, I know Life. In your passion for self destruction and the patterns of mental illnesses of full sociopsychopathological dynamics, I shall also remain after you.

Place and Know yourself. I stand outside your Games and Annihilation Myths
"Half the Story has never been told" A man told me that on Monday, and he was neither citing Bob, nor the bible, but speaking what he lived with his own blood call and life.

from the Stone of Sincerity
 


 Part TWO

Maven Huggins

well.
may. be.
this February of 2011
is Soul Train February 2011
I am thinking..
and perhaps from now on till the end of time, each February can showcase the story, history, experience and journeypeople of deep melanin, of different lands, locations and titles to name...just a thought

as we reinvision and correct the vision and record; tell our own stories

MOONSHOES - Boogieland

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MOONSHOES : THE NEW FRENCH SOUND OF BLUE-EYED SOUL Produced, composed, performed, arranged, recorded & mixed by Gilles Paulet. Discover the Video : MOONSHOES...