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afternoon stories:
you can be soft-hearted and have a biting bitter tongue
you can be generous and yet wield spine knives
everyone can have you down as kind
but you still be churlish and mauvae launge*
when you have the power, status and position to give guidance and set a tone and instead of building and keeping positive you steep a tone and incline...for disintegration...
folk need to study zen and the art of suffering
psychology and the creature of damage
and how human beings create their stories
i do wish folk would encounter some more black sheep so i dont have to be the only one. different. iconic. mad. eccentric.
but that is not gonna happen in colonial trinidad is it ?? the place so small to make all overseers and slave owners
#conformordiebattered
#learningbutnotwhattheywritefor
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morning muse that i could not post:
is confusion the result of seeing life and experiences in snapshot and moments as opposed to one long string, a compendium, the full picture?
if someone has to learn something what is the point on postponing the learning? pausing the heat in the cauldron?
i dont want to blame the supermoon but last night was a doozy and the afterburneffects self reflection result is not a pretty picture/i have really failed the standard
my exposure and experiences make me doubt any one really has this relationship thing understood
and yet, i wonder if i am not being railroaded and learn to stop using such impassioned language and descriptors by someone who defies/d easy definitions and characterizations. then everything you knew before needs to be thrown away.
what if we disband the term 'relationship' and just have moments? but then again, did i just write myself a circle and that is the problem: a compendium of moments blinds the whole full picture? i dont know.
#livingaconundrum
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tomorrow projections:
i go to meet someone who supposedly needs a writer. this person's name is leroy baptiste. the name of my first uncle. an uncle gone on. you all want to read that mathematical science for me? before or after tomorrow?
----=====================
eccentrics are for huge metropoles not for lightpoles
#nottrinidad
even if gay, trans, tatted, ---what other forms of nonconformity are there? here? ---isnt the persona, psychology, mentality and behavior uniform and the same? across subalterns? from top to bottom? everyone trying to access the same small pie?
#trinidad
you never know how you are impacting people. you may think you are incidental and of no consequence, but somehow, in some realm, you are an example. a light, an aspiration.
likewise, you may think you are doing your thing in freedom and honor of all to have the same right, and they think you mad.
#gofigure
i am more than a little bit touched
i put the idea of goddamnedindependent to shame
i am testifying that no sane person should be this different. i admit.
on official record.
and do i know that i am the problem, really? Or am i a canary in the mad gold mine of western sociopsychopathology . against the black wombmyn survival and freedom? and still with audacity to rise?
-================
it just hit me how i used to want to be a student, sitting at the feet of a grad spirit master. when i think of the people around me now, i realize i am a student. there are teachers. two main ones> marjorie and chase, incidentally
teaching me how not to be. mirroring for me who/how i am. teaching me what fairness and real mirroring is > do you tell someone 'you did not come and help me navigate my car, when you fail to see that you did not come to help me navigate mine? Lol
#wow
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who is the arbiter of it all?
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i woke up feeling out of sorts.
writing words and not knowing where to place them
what to do with them
incomplete concepts, ideas and sans any understandings
and where i am now, hours later, is a realization that a life rightly aligned is one perhaps with many questions, no answers;
many poses, no finalities;
many puzzles, yet no designations;
no confirmations
the idea of water comes to me
it just seeks its own level
the day from 11pm last night was just one big questioned
kudzoku shrodinger*
=======================
Maven Huggin: "you are good for and to my soul Jp Parsons. Thanks for being present. I know we weathered one storm bridge, so the thank you is of that depth too...!"
===================David Vaughan Rockerchild:
"Wow! The ole Super Moon is Blood Red,right now ! I feel big changes afootin :D"
(@5:55pm on June 24, 2013
=============Reagan Des Vignes:
"I like weird people. Weird people are sincere. It's the 'normal' ones i don't trust."--------------
i wonder what Orisa would say of my path, my head, my destiny, my characterizations and experiences??
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Kabir, XX
II. 22. man tu pâr utar kânh jaiho
To what shore would you cross, O my heart? there is no traveller before you, there is no road:
Where is the movement, where is the rest, on that shore?
There is no water; no boat, no boatman, is there;
There is not so much as a rope to tow the boat, nor a man to draw it.
No earth, no sky, no time, no thing, is there: no shore, no ford!
There, there is neither body nor mind: and where is the place that shall still the thirst of the soul? You shall find naught in that emptiness.
Be strong, and enter into your own p. 70 body: for there your foothold is firm. Consider it well, O my heart! go not elsewhere,
Kabîr says: "Put all imaginations away, and stand fast in that which you are."
from Sherry McDonald
================
Niran Beharry: "Why Be Happy When You Could Be Interesting?"
Take me down to the river bend
Take me down to the fighting end
Wash the poison from off my skin
Show me how to be whole again
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