three times death called/came/paid a visit
the first time was in 1988, speeding my grey 1988 Toyota Corolla SLR5 on the 95. A double connector UPS truck pulled out in front of me. and me thinking i am NASCAR big driver, geared down to slow and revved up around him in the lane he just escaped from...not realizing, dummy i was in the hour, that there was something there: a tow truck for gravel and sand. I went straight under. The whole :life flashes before your eyes: thing...is true. I survived only to enter into another drama. to discover my insurance was a scam...so there i met Attorney James Willson Jr.
and that is another door to a story...
second time, was Maracas beach around same time, 1988 or 1989. might even have been 1990...whole family outing for one of my visits; swimming, jumping waves just as the tide changed...and it came in without notice, endless waves battering and slamming, so i could not get neither my footing or my bearing. the depth of the water seemed to double in seconds. I had a moment. a flash of a fragment of a second moment. staring at a crossroad. to panic . and the only thing that made it a crossroad was the conversation. of Hig Her Self telling me, If I panic, that would be the end. And that is fine, but my family would be done. cause we had just lost my brother not a year (it seemed) or three recently...so i think it had to be 1988/89/..and that is what made me take the other option, to calm down, and just keep the motion of swimming, no matter what, at the moment I was pointed to shore...I survived that. made it out the water and silently sat down. not a person noticed anything or amiss or asked a question
third time, was just in 2009, which is a very involved story whose first thread showed up in 2004...but anyway, the spirits came for me, for i had the temerity and the ignorance to take the brother who had died since 1987 to the door of light; and i was told beforehand it was dangerous business; told that because i was looking for help and support to do what needed to have been done, and by me. But instead all i got were warnings and dangersigns to leave it/ but i could not. it was not an option/ i was called and my brother was beseeching/tagg
But let me tell you something. when you travel that near and dangerous; that connected to death and released from its clutches, you become bold/ you know of a strength, belly and mettle. not to test the edges, but knowing that you good for the gauntlet
three times they came for me, but yet I live. IS who child I am, or hoards that keeping me/ still
Alvin made me write that...to hear him talk of his constant friend through life, death
Since a youthful twenty three have i been knowing death and the dead. Before that, it was my grandmother at my 9. the first one I know to hearsay she say, "that is my chile"
As'e ase Ashe three or four major life crossroads
1. my not accepting Edgar Ridley's offer to work at his NYC Management Consulting Co in 2000;
2. not to accept Jabulani Thangase's of Thabani Wines, offer that I move to Cape Town from the Chicago Food Expo...in...why
the other two seem less definitive Nos than an incapacity to conceive, implement; or tied to an idea that i was still striving toward; or for the fact that it was just the outworking of factors...
3. moving south in 1988;
4. not putting my household in storage and just getting in the car to zigzag the ride chasing sunsets in 2003
But i was weak then/ weak and tired/ no such explanations/ex
i wonder how lack of memory, change of memory will refine these reflections. #nevereverlookb
i am still here to write and ride about it...
the first time was in 1988, speeding my grey 1988 Toyota Corolla SLR5 on the 95. A double connector UPS truck pulled out in front of me. and me thinking i am NASCAR big driver, geared down to slow and revved up around him in the lane he just escaped from...not realizing, dummy i was in the hour, that there was something there: a tow truck for gravel and sand. I went straight under. The whole :life flashes before your eyes: thing...is true. I survived only to enter into another drama. to discover my insurance was a scam...so there i met Attorney James Willson Jr.
and that is another door to a story...
second time, was Maracas beach around same time, 1988 or 1989. might even have been 1990...whole family outing for one of my visits; swimming, jumping waves just as the tide changed...and it came in without notice, endless waves battering and slamming, so i could not get neither my footing or my bearing. the depth of the water seemed to double in seconds. I had a moment. a flash of a fragment of a second moment. staring at a crossroad. to panic . and the only thing that made it a crossroad was the conversation. of Hig Her Self telling me, If I panic, that would be the end. And that is fine, but my family would be done. cause we had just lost my brother not a year (it seemed) or three recently...so i think it had to be 1988/89/..and that is what made me take the other option, to calm down, and just keep the motion of swimming, no matter what, at the moment I was pointed to shore...I survived that. made it out the water and silently sat down. not a person noticed anything or amiss or asked a question
third time, was just in 2009, which is a very involved story whose first thread showed up in 2004...but anyway, the spirits came for me, for i had the temerity and the ignorance to take the brother who had died since 1987 to the door of light; and i was told beforehand it was dangerous business; told that because i was looking for help and support to do what needed to have been done, and by me. But instead all i got were warnings and dangersigns to leave it/ but i could not. it was not an option/ i was called and my brother was beseeching/tagg
But let me tell you something. when you travel that near and dangerous; that connected to death and released from its clutches, you become bold/ you know of a strength, belly and mettle. not to test the edges, but knowing that you good for the gauntlet
three times they came for me, but yet I live. IS who child I am, or hoards that keeping me/ still
Alvin made me write that...to hear him talk of his constant friend through life, death
Since a youthful twenty three have i been knowing death and the dead. Before that, it was my grandmother at my 9. the first one I know to hearsay she say, "that is my chile"
As'e ase Ashe
---------------
1. my not accepting Edgar Ridley's offer to work at his NYC Management Consulting Co in 2000;
2. not to accept Jabulani Thangase's of Thabani Wines, offer that I move to Cape Town from the Chicago Food Expo...in...why
the other two seem less definitive Nos than an incapacity to conceive, implement; or tied to an idea that i was still striving toward; or for the fact that it was just the outworking of factors...
3. moving south in 1988;
4. not putting my household in storage and just getting in the car to zigzag the ride chasing sunsets in 2003
But i was weak then/ weak and tired/ no such explanations/ex
i wonder how lack of memory, change of memory will refine these reflections. #nevereverlookb
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