Musing on Distraction
How Distraction takes away from Growth, Development and Personal, Professional and Self Actualization Aspirations
How Distraction Bars from Enterprise Development and Entrepreneurial Endeavors
Is it the Distraction, involvement in Distractions, or the Person that is the Barrier?
Distractions such as Film, Food, Photography, Art, Painting, Liming, Sleeping, Networking,
As I ponder the condition and status of my life as where it currently stands in trajectory of where I came from and where I want to go. Then refining thought on what are my obstacles, barriers, challenges as I summon up the bravery to tell the truth of my success or failure that at midlife I am still a late bloomer, clueless as to my life work and purpose, I somehow focus on the predomination of distractions.
Distractions did not even emerge as its stand alone factor, but enmeshed in a larger context of ‘what have I done all these years’ and see all my life existence and involvements were one prolonged, ongoing series and puzzles of distractions. My predomination with striving, struggling, fighting against demons, and enemies everywhere; that when I found myself on the margins and self alienated from populations and masses, I consoled myself with food, solitude, films and movies, documentaries, books, a 2000 book library I built and reading, reading, reading; and then for a time, traveling and dotting the world; becoming this idea of artistic alternative bohemian and what held all this together was a web of educational pursuits that began in 1988 when I returned to school to do a Masters. So for fourteen years I pursued graduate degrees, and when I could not find work with a PhD in Development Economics, I returned to the Caribbean of my birth but after thirty two years of being an emigrant, my status remained, full of talent and potential with an unending fount of idea creations, I remained mired in Distractions. Distractions have been my succor. My means of a dead survival’; the means of which I stayed alive personally but was disastrous professionally, socially; for even as I did all that/. This, I was in essence a hermit, so that too is a distraction. I see that my life has been stalled and growth stagnant for distractions. I have been pondering this for the last few days ever since the word came to me in quiet consciousness as I pondered, how and why of my reality and status. How has this halted my growth?
Was my growth ever in train? Beyond education, did I ever do anything that was growth oriented?
And I think the truth of the matter is that I was never living with a mission. I was just bouncing, floating, roiling and flowing with life and opportunity. I think the fact is that distractions only happen, take hold and become institutionalized, as they did in my life, when one is absent any groundedness, lost to any goal or mission. I realize that my only goals in life were one to be a doctor as a child; and two, to finish the school I started after I realized I was totally out of my elements, interests, collective, without network and support, but I refused to quit; and just aimed to finish and move on. Just that “Moving On” had no picture, clarity, direction. I think these factors culminating are fertile Petri for distraction.
Distractions did not even emerge as its stand alone factor, but enmeshed in a larger context of ‘what have I done all these years’ and see all my life existence and involvements were one prolonged, ongoing series and puzzles of distractions. My predomination with striving, struggling, fighting against demons, and enemies everywhere; that when I found myself on the margins and self alienated from populations and masses, I consoled myself with food, solitude, films and movies, documentaries, books, a 2000 book library I built and reading, reading, reading; and then for a time, traveling and dotting the world; becoming this idea of artistic alternative bohemian and what held all this together was a web of educational pursuits that began in 1988 when I returned to school to do a Masters. So for fourteen years I pursued graduate degrees, and when I could not find work with a PhD in Development Economics, I returned to the Caribbean of my birth but after thirty two years of being an emigrant, my status remained, full of talent and potential with an unending fount of idea creations, I remained mired in Distractions. Distractions have been my succor. My means of a dead survival’; the means of which I stayed alive personally but was disastrous professionally, socially; for even as I did all that/. This, I was in essence a hermit, so that too is a distraction. I see that my life has been stalled and growth stagnant for distractions. I have been pondering this for the last few days ever since the word came to me in quiet consciousness as I pondered, how and why of my reality and status. How has this halted my growth?
Was my growth ever in train? Beyond education, did I ever do anything that was growth oriented?
And I think the truth of the matter is that I was never living with a mission. I was just bouncing, floating, roiling and flowing with life and opportunity. I think the fact is that distractions only happen, take hold and become institutionalized, as they did in my life, when one is absent any groundedness, lost to any goal or mission. I realize that my only goals in life were one to be a doctor as a child; and two, to finish the school I started after I realized I was totally out of my elements, interests, collective, without network and support, but I refused to quit; and just aimed to finish and move on. Just that “Moving On” had no picture, clarity, direction. I think these factors culminating are fertile Petri for distraction.
And this is the fog of reality I merge from at midlife. Having a life where I never had a thought for money, never cared about money, never a concern. At midlife when it is neither saved, invested, growing, stored, nor shows up in constant unbroken flow; and absent to list as any asset, save my self and my brain, I see the follies of my youth. The question then becomes how does one grow at mid life, mid stage, when one is seemingly, so far behind the curve? All because of the circus of distraction my life.
In recent years, I can see consistent themes that pop up in my history. My interest, coaching, support and involvement in Entrepreneurship is one. It is said of me that I am very ambitious, enterprising and creative. All of that but yet still, I seem to come up short in how to make my ideas grow into endeavors.
Beyond helping others in their entrepreneurial endeavors, which too, is a Distraction, I have decided, my dream is to be a Money Making Driving Growing, Saving, Investing, as Manna and Rain Falling Entrepreneur. I ask myself, why this has not happened. I feel beyond the pieces I may not have, it is because of how I fill the spaces in my life when I am not on and in active search and pursuit of my goals and objectives: Distractions. / Beyond not having the multimillion of dollars to fund my many grand schemes and ideas. For instance, my latest dream is to create a multi activity edutainment center in the central part of my country that includes an aquarium, an arboretum, a museum, an observatory roof deck, bowling alley, skating rink, electronic game arcade, jazz supper club, automated recording studio, café and restaurant. And this is seminal of many if not all my social entrepreneurship, business or financial ideas…Massive in both costs and resource structure. Usually though, my ideas for business are not for the sole aim of making money but to build, grow, nurture and develop human beings, their skills, capacities, innovation, and creativity as well as thinking abilities.
Then I think am I qualified to do so, for I have not been any of those things, sufficient enough to take me out of my subjugations (and distractions). I am now discovering the power of distractions. The revelation is a scary prospect. For if my attempts to self determination in entrepreneurship are lacking and I give up my distractions, then where will I be? Will the multimillion dollars I need for the complex show up immediately? Will the goal of making my first million this year 2011 occur? Or what of my recent quote of three million to show up, mainly as restitution for all my works, products, production for my life thus far: the package that is my art work, my writings, essays, poetry compiled in nine volumes; my photography from my travels, my greeting cards and posters made from my art and photographs. Will that happen quicker sans Distractions used to keep my alive above despondent and my soul sailing with hope, as well as my heart buoyed sans the love it has never had?
Where-from, my long lost Growth, Actualization and Fulfillment? Is the cost and price, really my distractions?
In recent years, I can see consistent themes that pop up in my history. My interest, coaching, support and involvement in Entrepreneurship is one. It is said of me that I am very ambitious, enterprising and creative. All of that but yet still, I seem to come up short in how to make my ideas grow into endeavors.
Beyond helping others in their entrepreneurial endeavors, which too, is a Distraction, I have decided, my dream is to be a Money Making Driving Growing, Saving, Investing, as Manna and Rain Falling Entrepreneur. I ask myself, why this has not happened. I feel beyond the pieces I may not have, it is because of how I fill the spaces in my life when I am not on and in active search and pursuit of my goals and objectives: Distractions. / Beyond not having the multimillion of dollars to fund my many grand schemes and ideas. For instance, my latest dream is to create a multi activity edutainment center in the central part of my country that includes an aquarium, an arboretum, a museum, an observatory roof deck, bowling alley, skating rink, electronic game arcade, jazz supper club, automated recording studio, café and restaurant. And this is seminal of many if not all my social entrepreneurship, business or financial ideas…Massive in both costs and resource structure. Usually though, my ideas for business are not for the sole aim of making money but to build, grow, nurture and develop human beings, their skills, capacities, innovation, and creativity as well as thinking abilities.
Then I think am I qualified to do so, for I have not been any of those things, sufficient enough to take me out of my subjugations (and distractions). I am now discovering the power of distractions. The revelation is a scary prospect. For if my attempts to self determination in entrepreneurship are lacking and I give up my distractions, then where will I be? Will the multimillion dollars I need for the complex show up immediately? Will the goal of making my first million this year 2011 occur? Or what of my recent quote of three million to show up, mainly as restitution for all my works, products, production for my life thus far: the package that is my art work, my writings, essays, poetry compiled in nine volumes; my photography from my travels, my greeting cards and posters made from my art and photographs. Will that happen quicker sans Distractions used to keep my alive above despondent and my soul sailing with hope, as well as my heart buoyed sans the love it has never had?
Where-from, my long lost Growth, Actualization and Fulfillment? Is the cost and price, really my distractions?
The whole idea of this revelation on Distraction was that for their presence, I have not spent the time, energies and resources required to find my salvation, to search for saviors, to identify the means by which I march and build myself what it is I want. But the trajectory of thought is not so direct. Are there jobs I did not take because I preferred to stay home with my distractions, I don’t think so.
Were their opportunity costs to my distractions? Of course; that is how life works. What we are not doing is at the cost of what we are doing. And that is the point, even if I cannot map it out.. I will continue to muse on this issue to see the clarity that comes…how to get rid of my distractions so that my goals and dreams move closer. To reality. Within reach. To manifestation. Now rather than later.
FollowUP:
savior*
how i always thought all my life that i can do it alone; that i needed no one
savior*
how i always thought all my life that i can do it alone; that i needed no one
the absence of teams, support and networks
the absence of those accomplished in the dreams of my life in my surrounding
the absence of those accomplished in the dreams of my life in my surrounding
This is a joy to read... lets me know that I am not alone... even though I have not attained the level of educational pursuits that you have.... My life is most definitely mirrored in your writing... from the "self alienated from populations and masses" and I love this one "Artistic Alternative Bohemian" and truly to this day "in essence a hermit"..... Yes I am "Moving On" and am "absent listing any asset save myself and my brain" besides the culminations of artistic works, I strive to be a "Money Making Driving Growing Saving Investing as Manna and Rain Falling Entrepreneur" also...... Distraction have their own power, they make us who we are.... for others its a road not taken.... we tend to investigate the unknown and come thru them speaking volumes on the lessons learned... Thank You Maven for plainly letting me see... My Life, This Life has not been in vein... each one we reach out and touch or has had the opportunity to be touched by our efforts (there are many we dont even know about) we are better for it.... Our journey is not in vein.... otherwise we would not be free to be ourselves....... Our Dreams do come true... we plant many seeds in others..... ALAFIA
ReplyDeleteAlafia Brenda,
ReplyDeleteThanks back to you! I love this line:
"Distraction have their own power, they make us who we are.... for others its a road not taken.... we tend to investigate the unknown and come thru them speaking volumes on the lessons learned."
LOVE!!!
Ase' to our continued flowering, watering, and becoming <3