Joginder Aulakh:
" rather no woman , ever played victim -- it is the man's littleness -- that always spoke a lie ."
Staceyann Chin, "What happened to me was NOT MY FAULT".
-------quotes on a meme regarding women, victimhood, and "playing victim"
and i am wondering, when is what you experience and happened to you, "your fault"? then i wonder if a lot of my experiences these past thirteen years were "victim blaming"? i never considered or framed myself as a victim but i wonder if i have been a victim of this world capitalist domination system? or is it that i pulled the wrong tools off the shelf? or that I never knew how to play the games for the arenas i entered? what and where is the role of 'blame' and 'responsibility' and i quote Joginder because of his, "it is the man's littleness" screams out at me. ... when we choose the wrong things, the wrong places, the wrong people, the wrong choices, the wrong behavior, the wrong responses, the reactions? i feel lost and confused as ever and wonder what are the symptoms of being in connection and interface with demented sociopsychopaths. i certainly believe being lost and confused is the direct result of such. and i remember another meme that says when confused turn the picture another way, upside down, look from another angle. which is itself scary, cause in a two part deal, supposedly, the opposite direction is from the counterpart and their comments and behavior will surely leave you to think, there was a scheme, a strategy, a play, a confidence game, to get and benefit at any expense or cost; least of all any consideration to you, and you had no idea. believing someone good when they are only a smartman. this leads me to reflect on a talk i had yesterday that seemed to me a bit surreal, as if i was a tv, radio or journalist host, or writer taking notes, documenting an experience...i feel this is a good place to tag that write up and leave it in its broken, unclean, unedited raw copy. but it can be controversial. and there are ideas in there that should be copyrighted, but overall, i felt it was an unexpected boon : someone showing their brilliance that i never thought or knew, a sharp insight that seemed different from the crowd and landscape.
if nothing else, this post is taken the indirect and impersonal, applying it to the personal and then it is an external personal human interaction/interactive dynamic extrapolating it to a nationhood
and see, as i read the piece over pondering whether to make it public, the word jumps out at me. TRUST. all the pieces I am seeking weaving to integrate are about TRUST> trust on the personal internal level, trust on the interactive level with others, intimate and public, and public trust of institutions, politicians, processes and systems;; outcomes and services. and trust of individuals in all these dynamics to make the right call, see accurately, associate correctly, be honest-- and where is the blame, or responsibility> do we take responsibility for encountering and engaging snakes? or are those the 'littleness of men"?
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Machinations of Political Imaginations
13 August 2013 at 12:51
it is a very rough time right now and taking a lot of imagination to survive politically
it is like the lord of the rings. there is a lot of undercurrent and machinations going on so it requires a lot of political imagination.
a neanderthal' a cromagnon reimagined
his political presence is a backward step into tribalism and 'bigmanism'
in the malaysian culture they have a big man culture...(the jefe, don, chief of africa, latin america) in malaysia, big man, baddestman, coming out of a tribal fighting culture... in his case his use of money and brer nancy - the spider in the Aesop's fable--the smart man, conniving, bob and weave, move around and get out of situation...our politics in trinidad is brer nancy ...and it is a tabanca a fallout and sooner or later him and kamla will get back together..
you know the kind of things they said about kamla when they were opposing her: moonilal, bharath, but that is there...once they can control they can get back together...so there is this dance of conflict and this is their means of negotiation to resolve and come back again? ...all part of their hindu theory mixed with chieftain politics....the models are there you know..they just keep reinterpreting it all the time...read Ramayana...the story of Hanuman ==the one who theif the wife of shiva...and Shiva's Tabanca.. same stories they are reinacting...all about power, success and money..
so it takes a lot of poltiical imagination. you cant relate to anyone on straight trust relationships...this is why the society cant advance because you cant use trust as a normal currency...trust is the currency of business -- (human relations, dealings and social capital), you have to use scheming and brer nancy politics. so a lot of the nations' resources are absorbed into trickery, corruption, rival, conmen and conwomen
...that billion dollar road is the most expensive road in the world...where is that money going...so the minute the road going to build..you and your friends go and buy up all the land..you go and buy a mountain...and that is the opposition...people, the public, know they are being conned but they cant figure it out and put their finger on it...
so for parties like us, a partner describe it as a virgin in a whore house...and one pure, it is lost..
...on the port, to get a barrel, one has about twelve stops to make...all of that is to decrease the corruption...but all it does is increase the corruption because there is a greater number of opportunity...same thing with licensing office
so jw is on his rampage and he has a lot of money to expand himself..he has stolen the golden goose---the gg is the political will of the people
what is laying the egg. giving political power...so he has snatched that and is running with it and the giant, the unc, is running after him
surprising that jack is the name in that story...Jack and the Beanstalk...climbed up and stole something from the giant...Jack the Giant Slayer>>>
...thinking of bringing out a band next year...Jacks. Jack you Up, Jack up Your Car, JackAss, Jack and the Beanstalk, Jumping Jack, Jack Hammer, JackIron Rum (Grenada) - highest alcohol content -90% in the world...Jack be Nimble...Austin "Jack" Warner...he got jack because the teacher in school called him a jackass>" ole mas every piece will tell a story..
thought about writing a book: i transported to this country and when i land there is a fight between tribal factions...and i am told of how this country came to be there, the people and its conditions and how the war started...talking of the political philosophy of what it means to be in this place
because the person who emerges as the leader of the country, as a strongman, but he will not be the solution to or for the country."
"death threats and extortion...so he can manage them by giving them some things...shady characters
so how does this work: threat pulls you down, hurts you, keeps you quiet, extortion itself makes you aparty to their criminal ring..
remember jack was minister of national security so people have their people
it is not the first threat i have gotten there are others who have their strongmen, and they assign themselves to you. 'saif'...and when you refuse them they get aggressive
these people subscribe to power as if it is a god...you know they are not really smart you know; they have not much alternative or choice in their life (and this part reminds me of a conversation i had with hayden blades saying that the population of this country are all chasing a few opportunities, all of them knowing that one thing: that time, resource and opportunity shall soon run out, so there is a mad grab to get it all at once, and two, they all fear that the other will get it and they will get none. and in that regard, imagine the negativity transplants, and different thinkers will be subjected to, the gate keeping, shutting down, exclusion and maligning that may occur--that is the victimhood this country is predicated on--and if you speak it, you are not taking responsibility? i met someone last week and in a conversation about employment and why one such like me with so many skills and ideas and they asked me my background and when i mentioned the phd was told that once people see that they will run scared. this country..ah, another word. Fear and Scared, Coward and Curs/ Four for one. Then the lack of Trust, the absence of Honesty, and the Subterfuge, Subterfusion, Mamaguy and Double Dealing,. there is an overwhelming avalanche of stuff, paralyzing to recount)
"....like the people who are part of these ethnic groups" --- at this point the exchange trailed off, the focus flipped, but if it were possible to continue, that endline would be a perfect pick up point to learn and hear more.
-------end transcript such as it were/
it is a hell of a thing to talk to someone, know they are lying , but they have no idea that you know things, have seen things, have read things to know that they are lying, and then watch them do the subterfuge, the obfuscation, the discussion on proof, or giving false interpretations.. all to undermine your assessment that you couch as questions or propositions...
it is destabilizing really.
does that qualify for sociopsychopathic behavior? and what is that you may ask? dissonance, hypocrisy, lies, damn lies, obfuscation, projection, alterations, constructing alternate realities, reimagining history and events, challenging your charger's truth, memory, or just coming up with new shit that blows the other's mind. in short to obliterate the ground you both are standing on.
i wrote yesterday to leave the dumb shit alone ehnt?
if one is not careful, they will destroy and obliterate you, all the while speaking of 'genuinely liking you" lordamercy, calling all guides and ancestors to save, aid and deliver
makes me think of that sister they sent to st. ann's,, or the movie, liar liar,
and then it occurred to me this is the behavior of little people, they conjure up and cover up to compensate for their personal failures, all the while they assign that to you. what is the dsmv? dmsv? category for this behavior?
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