i see that ten million in a different light now. it is what volney was not smart enough to do. and slaves would never see it, conceive or understand it.
being so up in your game that you have to pay me to leave what i have created.
it is kind of a small hedge. this thing might fail, i might be fired, i would have crossed a bridge unknown if i can return. pay me to cross paths, bridges and abandon career, least of all coveted positions. also one considers, leaving certain jobs at certain levels might constitute an abandonment where one forfeits retirements, pensions and other benefits. I dont know the particulars. But given this time I realize the level of thinking, self insurance, intelligence and financial shrewdness. Nothing I have a problem emulating. And surely have plans to arrive.
it relates to one's ability to negotiate for one's interest.
it is the height of not being a slave but being at once, for and in one self: agent, talent, service, company, corporation and insurance. Total Self Ownership.
Granted. Employee. Consultant. Owner. Entrepreneur. Patron
some scheme like that. I shall have to research it as time teaches me
this man needs to mentor me and i was awakened with the thought ; how much time must i put in languishing in this here trinidad. time longer than twine they say so in that i pray that vindication and elevation comes for me to enjoy something i have never had: a mentor
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another interesting night of dreams. really bizarre
i dreamt of someone here but hesitate to tell them people are so vapid and stupid the bloke may feel i have something for him. but it is really weird because from that dream about him and another unknown guy in the scene, i realize, i think some people are about me to perform certain tasks in my life. not just him but others. he might be to cook for me. which is crazy as hell. while i was there with him in the dream chloe paul called on the phone. there was a younger guy and it seemed we were sending him off to work or to some task or project. he was gathering different things up about the place in a bag. and i seemed to think i was packing food and i had access to the whole house. it is kind of cloudy beyond that remembrance.
then another part of another dream. it is like i dream in compilations. one sleep. various stories, locations, imagery and casts. in another one i learned all humans who appear are not . some of the people we interact with me, and do things with are ghosts. i know right. crazy. a guy named takei made me to understand that and it is like he was renamed tasuma takei or something like that after my recognition.
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i find it so amusing..talking about being a corporate mentee when my life, dreams and natural inclination are taking me in the complete underside and opposite inclination.
if i did not know better, read authors travelers, journeymen and sangomas like carlos castenada, malidoma some, my own relative ebenezer elliott.... I too might think me crazy
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it is so critical that we write our own stories. speak of our own passing through/
document our own going in and coming out. how
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as i search for these pictures too...i remember the other thing from last nights passing...i am to be around people like Gita Dubay Naipaul and i cant remember the other...people who see, see you, but refuse to speak. they at least know what is before you. the gauntlet/and might choose to be supportive, enabling...that goes back up to the part of certain people are to do certain tasks for you, fulfill certain roles. and it is already so and happening. i write facing the window, looking out...this by far is not where i would have preferred to be, the environment, but this is it. this is my coming out cocoon. and this is the place and the person giving birth to the coming me. she does not even know she is doing that. and she too has fought against it. but what the spirit designate no body can put asunder. strive though we might and try. it is futile. these few years have taught me that well
fascinating
Day 19: A poem about a political party you dislike, BUT write a positive piece about them.
the political party amassed by default
no name no logo except by the destruction of the earth
predominantly male
all either victims or victors in the game
who is more sociopsychopathologically about death and mahem
the winner takes all the spoils, all the money and all the misogynistic women
leaves no clean air or water in his wake
and the relics and refuse of his passing through are what the survivors fight over
but in the midst of all that mayhem
ghost devil and evil creatures like them serve a high purpose
to give birth, source and antithesis to savior beings
the one of a different fabric, blood and ilk
the one that sees how things may be different
the one taken away from the bustle of the noise and haste
to be taught a different pathway
and they shall be the one to lead the doom
give the other warriors a way out
i emerge every night from my tutorial
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