Seeking Spiritual Justice: Four Years Unemployed, Withheld Gratuity and Busted Land Deals

I need to wash laundry and put it out in the sun and air
Correction by Nature

4:20am Thursday April 24, 2014

i am not sleeping
just great lines coming to me and leaving
scenarios or revelations for forty five minutes

like it is an amazing thing to have multiple conflicting thoughts about one self in and for one place: to know it is time to go, you are ready to go, for and to something new, somewhere else. but at the same time you dont want to go, there are aspects there that you may never want to leave or be without or you realize there is no one there for you/ you will forever be an extra beat, a different frequency

it is interesting too for if and when i leave here, the years here have taught me one thing to consider and to pause: how to engage a place. this time was really peculiar: i was returning to a place i always called home though never lived and was not acculturated. i had the bitter pill of truth and dare to swallow. so nothing remains, no delusion, no dreams, no fantasies and almost all is dead. relationships, relatives and family. it is like i was brought here to sever all  ties. bizarre really, but that is the tally and account of the experience. how i came and am was just too prickly and different. so it makes me wonder, where and how will i step into the next place. certainly not with the arrogance of belief to ownership, kinship, roots, destiny and legacy. i am poised to be a real rolling stone. all the decades prior to trinidad it was on a navel string to trinidad. now moving forward there is no such thing. there is no connectedness. its a deep thing

then who puts a scale in the women's bathroom of a restaurant?
i thought about that and weighed myself when there. i was extra at 147, i now wonder where an extra twelve pounds goes. but i know

i know when i enter a new place i will go as i was before: vegetarian, raw foodist, find a yoga practice immediately. i will walk all over. i doubt i will ever buy cars again.

in the hours since this afternoon and in the dark of night and through the few hours of sleep i realize this man thought i might have been a front or set up to kidnap him. it is why he flipped so when i tried to organize to get him the cvs he asked for. i have learned since 2013 that when pieces dont jive there is some great dissonance in the pie.. that is it. i am almost confirmed and convinced. just me and him on the table and i ask him where else do you all hang out. then i call him a few minutes after to tell him i dont need to meet him at the airport tomorrow i can bring  you the files within the hour. and all he said contravened everything i heard him speak of at the table where he was waiting for someone to bring paperwork to him. people are something else. the funny thing is that this is the same one who the two others were complaining about as one who tries outsmart everybody else until he smart out himself. if he calls me i shall have rich words for him: How i have to be very careful of my movements and roaming and only stay in port of spain lest i disappear. folk think because you are absent this or that , then and therefore you are thirsty. and that is not me. never has. i have learned to be quiet content with nothing and i am learning it is still always more than...#chanka

too much on my mind all the time. a 10am appt and i am up six hours prior. and that is another thing...when i was going to sleep i felt quite awake and wired and it dawned on me this is a time of partying and festivals and i am in the midst of heady meetings, business appointments and interviews. how opposite and upside down, again.





===============

written at about  4:40am
Thursday April 24, 2014

Larry, Good Morning:

I just went to bed a few hours ago, maybe three.

I am up now and this is my norm. My head filled with ideas and so much trauma and difficulties, they literally , their thoughts, remembrances and the gauntlet to resolve them literally wakes me up at night.

I just woke up with a thought and solution.

Would you be willing to write my gratuity into the upcoming budget to resolve my situation. For clearly, you said you would look into it months ago But I know there is a lot of public servant subterfuge going on there. And it has been confirmed to the extent that they are trying to do illegal criminal things Like rewrite my contract. They have already lied on paper saying I was making $15K a month when I have my payslips and bank records and inland revenue proving I was making $21K per month. My contract originally signed by PS Anthony Bartholomew who hired me and myself stipulated a three year contract which I fulfilled at a twenty percent gratuity at the end.

It is now coming up on four years since I left . I have been unemployed that whole time!! And they refuse to give me my gratuity. Larry.

Would you be willing to step in? Would I be able to get a $151,200 check from the Ministry of Finance with a $50K penalty for this four year ongoing sabotage from the Ministry of Planning?

Despite all my good luck, there have been down sides.
The land story that you helped me with was all a ruse of manipulation and deceit.
That too I am seeking to find redress. I have wondered if you would be willing to write a letter indicating that you know it was me who solely facilitated releasing that land out of debt, without whom Taurus had stopped speaking to the children of the original owner. I wish I could talk with Mr Critchlow but he made it very clear and obvious his animosity toward me because he was forced to speak to me, And made sure to say how I had no interest or ownership in the matter.

I wish we could talk about it . I know your plate is over full.
But I do need someone umbrella and strategic like yourself to help me navigate it.

I think this is a classic case of someone intending to outsmart me, but it was all just a metaphysical ruse to bless me. I always felt a camaraderie to the woman who purchased the land and tried to farm single-handedly without support from anyone least of all her children. Then in trying to do research to understand what went on, I discovered the original plantation was named Santa Maria, the name of my maternal grandmother. That land belongs to me spiritually..

It cant be that one can do something so good and generous for a family and the gesture be returned with such ugly spitefulness. The same way that I did not want the land lost. It is the same way I cannot allow myself to be treated so. But I need strong confidential knowledgeable advice and guidance that is not itself undermining or scheming but of integrity. But it is the opposite that is so everywhere prevalent and available. Someone already tried to scam me . It is a jungle out here Larry.

Plus I am still waiting to get to Larry Nath.

Sorry for the long dear diary.

Regards,
Melise
-
------------------------------------------

if i keep asking and seeking, the answers, teacher and solutions will appear