Gifts, Presents and Provisions

2:22

you know how you know you are a good person?

by the things that happen to and for you spiritually.

when the ancestors keep leaving, and making provisions for you

when they clear path for the manifestation of your dreams and intentions.

when you realize you are living your dreams

mind you. all of that will happen under great human persecution

but one of the lessons is to learn those people dont matter, no matter how close or far they are in relation to you. from mother, father, siblings, aunts, godparents, friends, lovers cousins, enemies. they , by each one, maybe your greatest haters. they may be all the same. cause they are neither real nor true, only reflections of their experiences, life, and love, so you cant depend that or them.

but a friend of mine is in a position to help me. save me.

and they are doing so, and i am so struck by that gift.

that would be the greatest thing to happen to me, in a whole life of a lot of blessings. like being a golden girl with golden hands, where nothing i put my hands to did not flourish. but that changed, and things change,. and that is the other lesson of life. our identities and holograms shift and change, and turn and cycle and turn upside down, but we are to find salvation, meaning and love even in those hard unbelievable times. acceptance is what the zen people say. letting go of who you thought you use to be, so you can find your better self, a new self.

i havent always been elegant through that journey, but i now know the necessity of it. but i also would not change a thing. i got to know my darker self. i befriended her. I did not deny myself or my life experiences. and i was not walking around like debbie doormat, calling punishment, but cursing the injustice that is human life as we have constructed, construed, colonialized and corrupted. all the while knowing and believing things could and should be different. so i was brave enough to pursue and believe in impossibilities, the unseen, the unknown, even while I was arya and brienne.

anyways, there are always greater truths to look to, which is the point of this post. and a million people can say the same thing, but they can all be wrong as raid and smiting you at every turn, telling you how horrible you are. but the gloriousness of your life, its gifts, the provisions that the universe presents, the people they send, and the doors and universes open for and to you, tell a different story. that you believe

and fly