Melise, From Him

him:
"I'm headed for a nap. I tried your elixir again..this time with Cognac added."

me:

"oooohhh...how did it taste?"

him: 

"Warm and smooth!"

me:

"do you feel sleepy."

"when you trying to sleep there should be no screens, technology, busyness

it is like you do everything to shut down

maybe tv, and not an action violent film lol"

him:

"Sort of "undercover festive" feel to it."

me:

"lol. funny"

"that is what i want our life to be. my life always. "undercover festive" but i get the sense it hasnt always been so undercover"

him:

"...hmmm, I get that sense of you too. I think it keeps a person from taking themselves too seriously, if they just get about and enjoy."

me:

"that was one of my problems in my past, growing up as young as 18 and earlier. my highschool boyfriend, like just like a three or four years ago told me I had an attitude of I am the only one going to be successful and I remember that. now what is funny. I am the only one who has a phd. a lot of them are teachers or blue collar workers that not many of them went to college, and he was in hindsight a football slacker. all the way up to phd, i thought i was the shit.

i now realize that i might be the shit but if no one else sees, believes , beholds and supports that, i will be flailing in the wind."

And being genius or whatever, is irrelevant if you have no people about you, for you, who are your people. and i dont have that. so i have learned a lot

and for me my life now, is just hanging out, a bum, a nobody, i am on the road, not even the high falutin places i used to go to in michigan. but i am still a glitter golden girl in tatters"

him:

"...even enjoying the feel of your own body sliding twixt and between newly laundered sheets while outside a drenching rain shower drowns out even your own breath; empty...void..yet full, full indeed."

me:

"that is so me, and so perfect. that is where life for me resides. in the simple stuff in your hand

do you think you are a writer?"
...

me:

"hey you been writing for an hour??? or did you fall asleep with your finger on a button???"

him:

"No, but I remember a life we were considering building...together. We had begun settling into one another. And so, I just remember things about you...like sleeping soundly on fresh linen, having slippers for inside and for outside on your upstairs walkway...the "fresh egg" smell you do not like...your green thumb...how you like a hand gently on your belly as you have a good laugh...how angry you are to see things go to waste...and how you'd do whatever was needed for a true friend. You taught me how to enjoy your presence, in silence. You were growing then into the "you" I now get to be in the company of. You had tons more experiences than anyone I knew. Thinking back...that was likely a source of much frustration for you...that folk didn't get you, partly because many of us never lived outside our little bubbles! You had. And you knew what was out there. Your expressions of world realities fell on many a deaf ear. Until one day, Melise decided that her inner thoughts and being made her happy; and that there were those who "didn't get" her simply validated her original supposition. And Melise smiled_,and chuckled; and put on slippers to go out for fresh air, sweep her porch and water her small but vibrant garden."

"...and water her small yet vibrant garden."

me:

"you have writing talent. and the way you write about me is stunning. you need to figure out what to do with that. how to turn that into money , access and resources for us.

I am serious"

him:
"I know you are, Madam Executive Assistant to the Headmaster. As you are more versed in the nuances of the business of writing, I leave that planning to you; except for this one seed. Maybe you should meditate on things...then present me with a topic to write on; we could go from there?"

me:

"I am the topic. see how you miss me at my most obvious sometimes. that is the talent. the gift. the way you see and present me to the world.

that is meditative. done, confirmed. I am presenting it to you now, here again

HERE./....moves plate over to your side of the table"

 

him:
"Message received; I'll take a rest now, ok?

...plate received."

 

me:

"yes sorry to have kept you. do you need to make another toddy?"

 

him:
"I don't believe so. I'm drowsy and it's quiet...excepting the occasional yelp of a distant dog, or a pronounced car door slamming shut...."

 

me:

"i hope you sleep through the night.

Cheers"

Chat Conversation End