Gifts, Presents and Provisions

2:22

you know how you know you are a good person?

by the things that happen to and for you spiritually.

when the ancestors keep leaving, and making provisions for you

when they clear path for the manifestation of your dreams and intentions.

when you realize you are living your dreams

mind you. all of that will happen under great human persecution

but one of the lessons is to learn those people dont matter, no matter how close or far they are in relation to you. from mother, father, siblings, aunts, godparents, friends, lovers cousins, enemies. they , by each one, maybe your greatest haters. they may be all the same. cause they are neither real nor true, only reflections of their experiences, life, and love, so you cant depend that or them.

but a friend of mine is in a position to help me. save me.

and they are doing so, and i am so struck by that gift.

that would be the greatest thing to happen to me, in a whole life of a lot of blessings. like being a golden girl with golden hands, where nothing i put my hands to did not flourish. but that changed, and things change,. and that is the other lesson of life. our identities and holograms shift and change, and turn and cycle and turn upside down, but we are to find salvation, meaning and love even in those hard unbelievable times. acceptance is what the zen people say. letting go of who you thought you use to be, so you can find your better self, a new self.

i havent always been elegant through that journey, but i now know the necessity of it. but i also would not change a thing. i got to know my darker self. i befriended her. I did not deny myself or my life experiences. and i was not walking around like debbie doormat, calling punishment, but cursing the injustice that is human life as we have constructed, construed, colonialized and corrupted. all the while knowing and believing things could and should be different. so i was brave enough to pursue and believe in impossibilities, the unseen, the unknown, even while I was arya and brienne.

anyways, there are always greater truths to look to, which is the point of this post. and a million people can say the same thing, but they can all be wrong as raid and smiting you at every turn, telling you how horrible you are. but the gloriousness of your life, its gifts, the provisions that the universe presents, the people they send, and the doors and universes open for and to you, tell a different story. that you believe

and fly

 

 

Eagles

Thirteen Year Old Eagle Huntress AsholaPan (and where have i been for thirteen years, and arent I an eagle huntress, finder, an eagle herself?) i picked this photo just off the bat and it soon hit me all the reinforcement, and look. as she stands atop snow capped mountains.

i had such a blissful sleep this morning. I keep trying to figure out what was the source of that. it was so calm. so still. so without thought and thinking, no projections. i dreamt too. Some upstairs house, must still be trinidad, the old serving trolley from my grandparents' house was in the dream, and the same stock of lays potato chips in various selections that my aunts buy now was on there and I was complaining that no grown up snacks were bought, and it was like workmen were being welcomed to the house to eat, drink, and they brought their stocks of alcohol and were sitting on a sofa, in the dining room, waiting for all things to be set up to start imbibing, and there was a lot of milling around but seems -- whose house was it? who was the head of the house? i feel it was me, but not sure, and there were a lot of young children but none I recognize as now or before. it was a mix of realities, i guess as always.

it was blissful rest.

after an evening of so many revelations an confirmations and repeat performances. i had a great evening drinking campari and grapefruit juice

for some reason Sherron been liming in my neighborhood. I saw him twice, but it was only last night i recognized him. his jewelry has changed but it is still obscene. and his girl is in tow. then i saw this indian guy walk by and i told my friends I know that guy and he tells me it is sgt? inspector? i dont remember, but a russell, an indian guy i remember from tv. and he then said he is/was there because sherron was. I am not sure i believe that story because they all moved in different directions, the former was a regular friend entourage complete with chicks in slinky dresses. but i was liming with Mickael of Ali's Doubles and Richard, two indian guys, The latter was a trip. Just meeting us and talking about how people used to laugh at him with his old van and how he bought this brand spanking new one week old Nissan p/u/, and he described for us its load and features, charge phones from the tray, leather, and i go in and remove the plastic head bag rests == why are people so tacky , and tacky. Anyway i just watched this guy and was amazed to see how shallow people are. and yeah, Nissan improved and expanded their back seat. I never liked that vehicle before because of that cabinet they called a back seat but everything is bigger now, even the rear doors. they were cool dudes otherwise though

then i get home and decide to write an email to my one sworn enemy, and the best line keeps occurring to me:

"you stupid dumb fuck of a thief woman"

now imagine who i would have written that to

through sleep too, i got the intro and framework for my final interpretation of my eddie bowen essay...a context framed of trinidad. how trinidad infuses everything, nothing exists free of its negative influences. just like how trinidad is a land of marissa dicks,; destroyers, so too this place and its content people alters highest ideals and intentions, great expectations winnow down to the least common denominator and smallest accomplishment

what happened is i sometimes wake up with so many different lines and topics to write, that it paralyzes me. i just have to push and write a caption for each one as I tried to do here as opposed to denying it.

and i know i have long talked of coward curs here in trinidad, from since around 2009 or before I recognized it, but last night i was pushed up against that again. how coward males are, that they wont stand up for a woman in their midst, the arrogance of these coward males to feel they can say and do what they want or will toward women, a friend of mine was complaining how out of place a friend was.. and i was thinking of these crass crude bar owners, so the whole coward and curs thing occurs to me again.

i feel there is more but i cant remember anything else. it was a very rich twenty hours

 i feel centered and invincible

PartnerShips

                                                 Gerardo Castro

ME:

kind or mad crazy. I been needing this and this guy for the last fourteen or more years of my life, but now that I am coming to be with you, he shows up. Should we hire him for the two of us? for the academy? For me? for our plans in business? For me as a published writer? and to get a huge multimillion dollar contract?

["John Moore 16 hrs · I'm extremely excited about the new services that my leadership consulting firm is going to be offering my clients. Within the next 7 days, you will be able to sign up for a range of NEW exciting services. Our new services will range from a "Pick My Brain" session where you will be able to ask me any questions (career, family, business, etc) that you may have. For those that are really serious, we will offer our new "ALL IN" inclusive package. This is where my team will write your cover letter and resume, create your LinkedIn page, and prep you to interview. Not only that, we will fill out resumes on your behalf, and we GUARANTEE you 3 interviews, with 3 different companies, with decision makers, at the Manager/Director level. All you have to do is wait for us to call you. How's that for GOING ALL IN??? ‪#‎onestopshop‬ ‪#‎careerprofessionals‬ ‪#‎wewillshowyouhowtoGETMOORE‬ ‪#‎thebestresultsguaranteed‬ ‪#‎imnotolahingwithyall‬ ‪#‎wearechanginglives‬ ‪#‎staytuned‬ ‪#‎newwebsitecoming‬"]

 Buckley:

"No. Everybody is professing this business. I am on the process of hiring an agency to represent our ventures... Including the Academy and Bistro."

ME:

you so on it. i did want to tell you that too, I eschewed a lot of other business, personal and life coaches for just this reason. and even he is perpetrating and new. He does not even have a website. it was the promise of three interviews with managers that got me. 

{gets back in the back seat, buckley is driving}

People. Of the Twenty First Century

i keep trying to tell people that nothing matters except people.

not your product, not your goods, not your services.

those are the things that keep them after you have won them

but those things dont matter. cause you can have things, glorious things, like oil, carnival, nature, forest, bush, animals, but if the people not right, it wont last, it will whither away

i just read someone write: "Jamaica's biggest export is Jamaica" and that was a lightbulb. That is why their lilt is taken for all others caribe. That is why their music has carried and trends for decades. That is why we have a trade dispute. It is the people.not what they have after them

I think other countries, no other country has its people as its main export commodity as Jamaica, but other countries successful have people of the right mind and soul to support other people when they arrive. so if you go to Kenya for Kilimanjaro or South Africa for Animal Safaris, the people there will not allow you to have one solitary complaint. But Jamaica, carrying and imbuing, speaking, living, dancing and singing their very being. Jamaican.

I hope you get it.

The key to getting what we want is not anything else but PEOPLE

You have destroyed a globe and billions of people to get to that revelation, after they have mostly been corrupted beyond measure

Vanguards and Other Angels Inbox Standing/Landing

Trinidad: Land of Turtles, Ancients and Angels

ANLS:

"U probably know this already but still wanted to share as I saw yr number sequence. Angel Numbers - Number Sequences - Repeating 1's 1 11 111 1111 Number 1 resonates with the vibrations and attributes of new beginnings, independence, individuality, masculinity, assertiveness, success, leadership, originality, initiative, the pioneer, organizer, instinct, courage, inspiration, strength, creation and creativity, self-reliance, tenacity, forcefulness, authority, strong willpower, leniency, attainment, happiness, glory, fame, uniqueness, omniscience, fulfillment, innovation, risk-taking, high achievements, instinct, oneness with life, self-development, progress, tenacity, leadership, strength, ambition, motivation, striving forward and progress, ambition and will power, positivity and positiveness, pioneering, raw energy, force, activity, self-leadership and assertiveness, initiative, intuition, organization, achievement and success, strength and self-reliance, authority, love, attainment, fulfilment and omniscience. Number 1, being the number of 'new' is the number from which all manifestation begins. It is the energy that begins all actions and leads the way in new directions. 1 is the number of new projects, courage, originality and decisiveness and the desire for expansion on all levels. Every number is divisible by 1. We are all one, therefore we are all connected and associated by thought. When the Angel Number 1 appears to you repeatedly it is a message to watch your thoughts and focus upon your positive desires, rather than your negative fears. The 1 number sequence (in all it’s forms) is most often the first sequence that appears to many people. Once the 1111 is acknowledged, the number sequence changes to another combination along with new life experiences, directions and opportunities. The Angel Number 1 tells of new beginnings and changes. It denotes leadership and independence and tells of new starts and new actions that will take self-reliance and determination. Leadership takes courage, strong willpower and decisiveness in all areas, so that the goal can be achieved. When Angel Number 1 appear repeatedly it signifies that an energetic gateway has opened up for you, and this will rapidly manifest your thoughts into reality. The message is to choose your thoughts wisely, ensuring that they match your true desires. Do not put your energy into focusing on fears as you may manifest them into your life. The number 11 is a ‘karmic’, Master Number. The Master Number 11 tells us that to become involved with the higher-self is to know our life purpose and soul mission. Once we learn to blend the higher-self with our daily thinking pattern, we will learn how to avoid the obstacles and pitfalls experienced when we operate fully on a materialistic level. As we learn to blend the two levels we mature and develop spiritually. It makes us grow stronger and develop an inner-strength that will help us to steer our lives in the right direction. Balance within gives us great strength to our character. The essence of the message of the number sequence of 11 is to develop intuition, clairvoyance, spiritual healing and metaphysical faculties. The Number 11 symbolizes the principle of spiritual enlightenment. When Angel Number 11 appears repeatedly in your life your angels are asking you to pay attention to your repetitive thoughts and ideas as they hold the ‘answers’ to your prayers. When you recognize an Angel Number 111 sequence appearing to you frequently, take note of your thoughts at the time that they occur. When a series of 111's appear, monitor your thoughts carefully and be sure to only think about what it is you really want, not what you don't want. The 1111 sequences is most often the first sequence that appears to many people. Once the 1111 is noticed and acknowledged, the number sequences progress onto other numbers and your angels have other messages to pass on to you. The 1111 number sequence is a sign that there is an opportunity opening up for you, and your thoughts are manifesting them into form at lightening speed. The 1111 is similar to the bright light of a flashbulb. It means that the Universe has just taken a snapshot of your thoughts and is manifesting your ideas into material form. Be aware that you will manifest your thoughts, therefore, do not think negative thoughts as these are what you will draw into your life. Use the positive energies of the Universe to bring to fruition your deepest desires, hopes and dreams."

Me:

Long Read. wow. Yes. Thanks much Adafih. I knew that but NEVER in such detail. and you serve an angelic and spirit purpose.

I am preparing to leave and you know earlier this week i was afraid i would be cut down in the journey from now to my flight. but I spoke it, wrote it, and i was reassured and now i am fine but this here reinforces that.

And in the last few weeks I have talked about my visions plans and dreams so much, which is why i am leaving. an old friend is willing to house and provide for me and we put our heads together to see what empires we might build

And i been working with an artist here for five months now and yesterday he told me to market myself that i might be surprised to see what comes my way. All of that is the same message you sent me, do you see???

love you sister guardian

you are surely one of my vanguards in fleet

 continues...

"U know I am a 11 number sequence

My birthday is 22 of the 11 mth"

Me:

well then that makes sense. we are named and numbered for our purposes, I believe

"wow

22 us double 11

My son also has the same birthday

And I had him on my 22nd birthday

Lol

My golden birthday"

Me:

you have it reinforced. that is something

"Yup

323 I saw that sequence in a post u just wrote. It means to maintain faith in the processes of the Universe, and trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be at this time. Reality is continuously changing, shifting and evolving into new experiences. The easier you can fully accept change, the quicker your soul can find balance and peace in the present moment.

I find it so interesting that all the number patterns are saying the same thing

About u and change and evolution

Fascinating "

me:

wow. that makes me so happy. I have worked hard to get to that place!

 "U also in that same post use 35 which further supports

And 35 is associated with number 8. Number 8 is karma

All again connected to some big change

Or turn around of events"

me:

and that is what I see happening. my life is turning around. on all fronts

"And yr friend also saw number 111 in yr post

111 Angel Number 111 also encourages you to assist and inspire the human race via your natural abilities, relying upon your inner-wisdom and intuition to guide you. Be an inspirational guiding light to bring illumination to others and to help raise spiritual awareness. Trust that the angels support you in your ‘lightwork’.

I find that number describes u so well

So amazing

Look how many messages you got

1111 111 323 8 35 2211

And I was searching for something for u and landed in 101

Angels trumpeting in your ear

That's a lot of communication

I sure I leave out some numbers

And they all in d sane theme of change and purpose and being light and trusting the God in u

All good things to come. Wonderful/"

me:
This is all amazing. and matches the energy i felt. I only wished you had written this on the thread...it would have been enlightening to others to read...like that psychic on that show i wrote about

"BC I see the numbers I will receive it as a double blessing

I too will see change in my life

It is a reminder for me to remain positive bc I manifest what I believe

Thanx"

"This is all amazing. and matches the energy i felt. I only wished you had written this on the thread...it would have been enlightening to others to read...like that psychic on that show i wrote about.

me:

WOW

"U see u just did some light work there"

"I feel me sucking back into old negative energy a past relationship. This message was for me too. Not to look back and block my blessing

That change will come. Better things will come if u focus on the positive"

me:

That is correct.

me doing lightwork is an elevation

"yes, it amazing eh"

How messages can be double edged like that

That is y we must always help others"

Me:

blowmind

"In helping u I have immediately received my blessing
Same numbers but different message for u and me

Reminding me to stay on that right path
Not to look back to turn into a pillar of salt
Jus stay focus in the positive
111 was for yr friend too
A message for three "

me:
He is dense. he wont get it

"but he was used as an instrument/ to deliver a message even if he is unaware

He Still got a message"me:

cool. i am going to take a breather. it has been an intense day sister. from since 6:30 this morning

6;38

"Makes u wonder how much times we blessed,protected and unaware of the gifts we received or wat we were saved from"

me:
Thank you for guiding me Adafih!!!!

 "Go back to yr post u will see this

35 equals 8 equals 323 equals karma equals infinity"

[ Maven Huggins

1 hr ·

Just like that, effortlessly, in thirtyfive minutes i had reason to reference an angelic vanguard of a spirit army, three times, to two different people. the third was in a blog post.]

Adafih Noble- Lue Shue: " 8 Maven Huggins"

me:oh...hhhh.. thanks. chuckle. I completely missed it. I walking you know. walking the path, but even i am asleep in the heights i have been installed.
 "8 is the infinity sign"

 me:

yes. gosh.. so amazing how you show up at certain times

"Yes

111 equals 3 in 1

I do believe u got divine messages

God is a god of order"

me:

and a long time ago i was told that i have three spirit guides travelling with me, intergalactic beings

"Everything has a number a pattern a sequence

If only everyone can see the math"

me:
ok. gonna take a breather. my head hurts

"Lol

Too much heights"

 after many hours break, i return on line at 1:11am it is.

and read this:

"Joke. I just came off this message and in my feed shows up in big bold letters the word 'decoded'. Thats it from me"

"

"I kid u not

With a neon yellow background

Lol"

 ================

but this one most of all . i love the bravery, the honesty. This is the first message this person has ever written me ever, nor has she ever engaged in any other way, not even on my posts. Nothing

"Hi Maven. I've been keeping up with your posts and find myself intrigued ... maybe a little scared as well because you seem to be the type to strip masks and lay bare things that may not be quite ready for the light ... but mostly I'm intrigued.

So much of what you write, resonates with me. I would love to sit and talk sometime. Would you be willing?"

Me:
2:08pm

oh my gosh. of course. Hi Ruth.

MY reaction is usually because that is the kind of message I write, and never receive.

Sure we can meet. and I am proud of you to move against whatever fear there may be. Just let me know.

The only problem is I no longer have mobility. my car is down...but you are very welcome with me and you are safe.

Bless

and thanks for reading

"Thanks for that, Maven. Let's aim to meet during next week. We'll figure out the when and where as we go along. You can get me at ====, ===.com, and of course on FB. Looking forward!

sure

 Me:

I am ---

mmladyh@gmail.come

wow. i meant to write com.

the energies are high today. smh

"Yes, they are. I'll call over the weekend. Take care and thanks again."

--------------------------

I took a nap after an intense morning of birds in windows, like minded innovators, and Fuck You Bitches and Pomegranates to find these two women in my inbox.

Pomegranate Fuck You Bitches

 

 

 

 

Ode and Lament
to the beings on this corner space

If there was any reason to leave a place
it would be the inability of not having any one to call
should you need to get to W.h.o. at W.h.e.r.e

I wake up no different than my yesterday
No less happy than how I went to bed
But just with some harsh truth of realities
And no need to deny them

Fuck you bitches
Coward men who let your wives tell you who to friend
Cardboard males like my cousins
Who allow all manner of shit by these scheming women
Who turn on and off social media to fit your deceptions
i am no longer entertained by married family having baby with outside woman, the latter by herself, covered by a brother, the daddy never present. everybody knows, she a fool or just playing.
I know I am done when cousins end up being prime assholes.

Fuck you bitches
Who used to be really tight good friends
For whatever your reasons, be they racial, status, or fear.
Fuck the bitches who I have deeply favored
Narine telling me years ago, "you would be with a coolie like me"
Saved from Deen a sociopsychopath pervert, I heard from the book, and assorted others, with face, stories and excuses.

You were all just the ones that I trusted
Fuck you and your fake fraudulent offers of jobs, associations, inroads. This is not the marketing tool my friend had yesterday envisioned.

But Fuck you
cause I can.
I realize I continue to be highly favored and privileged.
I could sit on my ass and not slit my wrists
Without assignments on this plantation
Six years of absence dont exactly equate to one grand exit

But as I sing this song and beat this rhythm of pan
Not even feeling the pain, but it must be some kind of burn
I realize, the greatest gift and in your face clapback
Is to write in a message, to where are you?
"I am on a flight to Morocco"

A sign of my origins
A Pomegranate picked weeks ago
To eat
I since decided to save\
To plant it somewhere in coordinates
Against and With
The Magnolia

Fuck you Bitches
The inabilities and blocks here
Were not my end,
Merely a new Stronger Beginning

Fuck You Bitches
I was the only Badass Female
Wombmyn among endless Lessers

Lilla's visit to me those many decades might have been the clue
She showed up with her paint can bucket
The kind the Sumerian of Annunaki Giant
Hieroglyphics

Fuck you Bitches
The Art, Science, Physics and Maths of Gifts
When you have nothing I need
I have nothing to lose
I am not taking a number in your struggles

Fuck you bitches
I, channeling CardiB,
Can keep writing lines of this
ForEva

13 Years in Exile- Harriet Tubman II

lol. you should have a show. lmao

"Lolol I'm such a dud on camera - you have to see it to believe it - I'm just a writer in my bones

that dud can work for you and carry the joke and laughter. trust me

Lolol

Lol I'll need a good producer . Several ppl ask me to go on camera or on radio, but iknow they can't produce me .

Maybe I'll end up on camera one day - it'll probably have to be on the Internet"

What do you imagine a producer does and why you thought those specific people could not produce you.

I ask because i think i am a great producer. But doh ask me what i produce. other than a great fete once...it is all just in my head

"Because I am a producer

Lol I wouldn't ask you lol

I am a producer with a writer's perspective -"

i merely have a sharp eye for what works and how and my sense is from up north and international. not parochial

"They are not writers at all . These "producers"

Because I'm not a boldface person I will need a producers guidance . But this is purely a hypothetical discussion . Lolol I did some acting once on Westwood park. Hated every second of being on camera."

hmmmm...so then you can write material then for someone else to produce.

if i am serious...all of this today came out of a message from a dream and awakening, to write about my time in exile in trinidad. if i get through i will send it to you to review and help produce...;p)

we shall see

"I can write and produce - just not myself . Sure send me stuff. I can help you shape and frame it.

Off the bat, I would say you are a novel waiting to happen . Did you ever write a novel ? It feels like you have one tucked away somewhere ."

"13 years in exile" just describe, in chapters, what you saw . We can rework the title after .

Trinidad is the most barren relationship one could have With a country. Unless you play the same carnival character every year, then you in the right place ."

 we see the same things. that "unless you play the same carnival character every year.." That is one of my themes from this place, the repetition of the same things days in day out, years in year out I do have material. One that is ;novel' in particular. it is not a novel. I thought and intended that it would be. but it is not. it is episodal, no development, more a movie script than a story. I can send it to you and we can start with that while I write 13 years if you wish... it will be a challenge Camille. It does not conform to structure or genre. I have learned there is a name for it that now escapes me. and that sandra cisneros and another latin american writer formed that pattern...that kind of writing

 "We don't have models for our nuances but we will find a metaphor for the shape too . When I write something I always want it to be like a panorama arrangement. And i always love when ppl tell me " that was just like a calypso""

lol. well you will tell me if i wrote a calypso.. that seems to resonate...i wish it were true, if only to hearken back to a part of my family: Roderick/Chucky, Seadly/Penguin, Roland Gordon.. Krisson Joseph

"Whaaat you in de thing !!!
Penguin is MY FAVOURITE WRITER !!!
How are you related !"

all those people are cousins and their children

"Awww well calypso is in your bones . So you good To go"

wink emoticon we could hope