6:36pm Saturday September 4, 2010...book within?

For the last thirtytwo minutes I have been watching/listening and notetaking an interview with Chimamanda Ngozi, the female Nigerian Writer, author of Half of a Yellow Sun, given to me by the way by a Nigerian journalist while I was there to present a paper in 2007. Sadly, I no longer remember his name.

About fifteen minutes ago, it occurred to me, the question: of whether there was a book within me. This I ask having written a book, or attempted to write fiction, a one hundred fifty page manuscript entitled Ant Bites on the occasion of getting bit by twenty three ants in 2004 which symbolized for me how i was loving and enchanted with Trinidad, the place of my birth, only to be assaulted, abused and traumatized by the place. It was supposed to be fiction. Too serious-minded, I gather, it turned out to be a memoir..just my experiences by chapter over the years of trying to acclimate, find work, make relationships.

I think as I ponder whether i have a book within me, that manuscript would be the backbone> Because today, when I think of a book, I do not think of a feminist exploration of a Black woman who has lived throughout the Diaspora,trying to find herself in the tropics; but the politics of life in a paradise of a kind, the realities of a banana republic.

And as I pondered this question, and realized would it not be some kind of fear or standing down, if I did not pursue or attempt to finish a real piece of work. And yes, it would be hard, I would have to buckle down and give effort, which it seems i have given up on.

Then I stumble upon a series of posts on fb that seem to reinforce the call...So it gives rise to this post...is the universe conspiring to get me to rise> First with the words from Chimamanda in her interview that spoke to me, seem to be calling the book or the sit to do the work of writing a good book was calling to me:

‎"to be emotionally ready to write the book"

 ‎"controversial and contested" "a very political book"

  "it's very easy to find the facts; it is hard to learn the truth"

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Behind the Words on Africa Channel

then posts from facebook:

Erik Michael Inglada Dont run from life, chase after it and dont let go once u get a hold of it 

Maven Huggins hm. words that come at me as i sit and ponder whether i have a book within me...(already written mind you), and spurred by listening to author Chimamanda Ngozi

Opal Palmer Adisa I'm on this road that I know I belong on, but surprised to find myself here & enjoying each day like the gift of a sweet kiss that it is.

Purpose ‎-:¦:-For true success ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not
me? Why not now?
James Allen

and the significance of all this: I am currently unemployed so all my time is my own, and therein the freedom to sit and write, and perfect.
wow.

something to sit and ponder/or to get up on Monday and begin

and earlier, i sat staring at this eye of Horus; perhaps, asking, willing and hoping for direction and answers