OOOoh! the Chills of a Black Man Writing Rising

Gs Evolution

Every year that goes by I start to wonder about things. It has been 15 years since I graduated Tuskegee. And I'm still battling the case of the no's. I have turned a few of them to yes's LOL. Yet the no still out weigh the yes's. Case in point no homecoming from me again.

Am I grateful that I can sub in Columbus Schools? Yes I am. Yet I can't stop of thinking about how out of position my life is. Very few people have an understanding of how serious of scholar I am. Finding my niche is very slim. I feel like that native intellectual that Fanon talked about in The Wretched of the Earth. He lamented that "native intellectual returns to his people as a stranger"; moreover, he does so after he "strips himself naked to dissect the heart of his people."

I wonder if this some how makes me dysfunctional? I can remember reading Nathan Hare wife Julia as she wrote about black women not dating an Afrocentric brother stating that we would not be able to find work in her book How to Find and Keep a Black Man Working. When I think of my 15 years of retail was Booker T Washington right about liberal art education that it would not yield to progress?

I have an masters and I'm substitute teaching and working retail on the weekends. I did that with my BA six years ago. I wonder how many real options I have. I'm 40 soon to be 41. I have a woman in my life who l love and I need to care of her. As I types I can hear my late mother say that when pray that she wishes when dies that me and brother was able to take care of ourselves and we are so far from doing son.
Karanga said at the end of the day practice proves everything so what I'm proving? I have more plans than resources to fulfill them. Sometimes I wonder if I'm struggling with to many demons.

• Jungie Keyz: "I hope u do find what ur looking for my brotha god bless never surrender."

  
  
• Percy Kemet: "Stay strong,what u think about most of the time will come to you most of the time dont think about failing cause failing will come ,just keep transmitting sucess and it will come , allwayz do for self"

   
• Kokahyi Sa-ra deep...

  
  
• Gs Evolution: "Kokahyi Sa-ra, i know deep
  

  
  
• Grace Chung: "Never give up and always be doing something, no matter how small, with your Passion...Work that...and that little bit will find its momentum with the u-verse and grow♥"

   
• Tim Roberson: "you are a teacher thats what you do and thats what you are. Trust me your on the right road, BE PATIENT!!!"

  
  
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  Maven Huggins: "oooh. the Chills of a Black Man Writing Rising.. wow. I feel for you Sojourn. I think you should write a blog. The sentiment is powerful. Clean the grammar and typo Breds ..but it is still powerful...
  
  If you wish i will volunteer to edit your pieces before you post..but you have something here. Keep Writing. your journey. your demons"

  
  
• Lashaundra Cromotee: "There. Is always the option of entrepreneurship. You are a Black Educated Man living in the United States. Based on this society and your status (B/M) expecting the yeses to outweigh the nos may be unrealistic."

   

  
  
• Gs Evolution: "Maven Huggins, I was asked why do I post such personal stuff. Do you think this was too much for facebook. To me this be begs the question how transparent can a black man be without people it looking like he's weak or worse just doing things purely for attention?"

  
  
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  Maven Huggins: "Brother Gs. By your question to me I can tell you do not read my page.
  
  Do you?
  
  To be human is to be real. To be an enlightened and elevated human being is to be authentic and real (not the real they talk about in the hood). To be such a being, there is no hiding, from self or from others, no matter their depths on the ladder of evolution.
  
  Write your story. Facebook is a grand medium for that. You can write notes or long post. they can be compiled and published. I plan to publish my fb. i have one person on my page who already did so.
  
  Spend some time on my page and you will read some real people who write their life and expose their souls. When you do that do you imagine the freedom? No secrets, No pretense. No dissonance,...at least it is toward those ends>
  
  I make it my business not to business with what lesser mortals do and think, Gs. The very idea people hold those views make them not even in your audience. And you write and you will be shocked what strength you give to others cowering and quavering in their lives...Writing and Exposing Self is Powerful and Empowering. Trust it.
  
  I got your back.
  DO you.
  You are brave. I love you for writing this> All of us are struggling Beloved
  I have a phd. my masters is from tuskegee. I spent five years there, two redoing sciences maths and physics to get into vet school. and the other year travelling africa, and two years my masters in animal nutrition/ag economics
  
  my phd is from michigan state. in applied economics , international and resource development . i have not worked for the last two years. before that in 2003, i needed to leave the us cause i was getting evicted and had no job or money left. I sold/had an estate sale for everything practically new that i expected to be my life for the next foreseeable future...just to survive with nothing
  
  you write your story others will share theirs.
  exposing self ? google my name: Melise D. Huggins. I am published. two of those pieces are extremely personal..
  My power and my self awareness tells me It is ok to do so> Follow your Soul. Nothing else and No one else.
  
  And anyone who cant deal with your authenticity aint real. Ditch them. No matter who they are..
  ♥
  
  You are already strong. just believe it. I am so proud of you for the face of a black man you show with this post you have no idea."