tomorrow is carl huggins' birthday
i just dreamt of him. since 10:30
he had excavated (that word has come up so much in my vocabulary over the last few days) our family home. each room was torn up. at first it seemed, they, my parents, were wripping everything up to rewire the house and put in wifi. i remember i was in my brother's front room when i had that sense. but then i started walking around and though it was our brooklyn house, maya was laying on a cushion looking outside a ceiling to floor window, watching all the busyness and the flurry of men and women walking and working and moving and organizing a building site. maya is my niece, eleven years old, of trinidad, she did not exist in my brooklyn life, nor is she from that side of the family. i walked to my bedroom and it was totally tore up. but it was neither the same arrangement it used to be. there were shoes on the floor . new shoes the brand i recognized. from trinidad. i had one in beige. there was one in all black. and another that my eye saw as if it just appeared, same shoe but with a sling back and red white and black. black shoe with a red rectangular tab on the top right front and some red black and white somewhere. and i sat to try them on and feel their fit. they were my size. but they were my mother's shoes. she was a shoe and style boss. they both fit and i imagined wearing the sling back one not as match but as accessory to outfit, might be off, but they were stylish shoes. then i sat, laid with maya for awhile. then i got down and went looking for my father.
dressed he was in knee length shorts, tapered, suit, tie, and jacket. a few weeks ago I envisioned that look for men. but i dont know why i thought it original it is old and all over the magazines. we said a cool greeting. and i asked him what he was doing and it is like he told me he was surveying to scale everything and on the ground it was like i was on massive land, like the twelve acres or more. and the intimation was he was scaling the land to give apportions. to me inclusive. when i thought of it either in the dream or emerging out of it, i realized i am the first in line and oldest to get any portion, the most. then i kept walking and there were two women there, and it is as if they were my siblings. and i do have two step sisters. but they in the dream were grown, different and not the sisters i have now. and its like i just remembered in a flash that the one i was talking to with a ceasar hair style and a suit, black and white check suit, that she was a lawyer and i started asking her about the land. and before she could answer me she asked me what did the other sister say, as if she is a lawyer too, more versed and intuitive and skilled and like this one, who was more prominent in my mind as a lawyer was checking to see and set her thermometer by this other sister. it was wild. but we were walking up and over mounds and the land was vast. it was kind of like being on long island but not. more like being in south africa where there is no end to the land you are standing, not its boundaries. just horizons.
i find this to be a hella odd dream
mind you, my father is the reason for my privileged life this cycle
but he has also robbed and disinherited me of land and two homes already via the death of my mother. this is a dream of my past, current and i believe future life. mixing up people from all stages. sources of problems solving the problems they created?
interesting
i just dreamt of him. since 10:30
he had excavated (that word has come up so much in my vocabulary over the last few days) our family home. each room was torn up. at first it seemed, they, my parents, were wripping everything up to rewire the house and put in wifi. i remember i was in my brother's front room when i had that sense. but then i started walking around and though it was our brooklyn house, maya was laying on a cushion looking outside a ceiling to floor window, watching all the busyness and the flurry of men and women walking and working and moving and organizing a building site. maya is my niece, eleven years old, of trinidad, she did not exist in my brooklyn life, nor is she from that side of the family. i walked to my bedroom and it was totally tore up. but it was neither the same arrangement it used to be. there were shoes on the floor . new shoes the brand i recognized. from trinidad. i had one in beige. there was one in all black. and another that my eye saw as if it just appeared, same shoe but with a sling back and red white and black. black shoe with a red rectangular tab on the top right front and some red black and white somewhere. and i sat to try them on and feel their fit. they were my size. but they were my mother's shoes. she was a shoe and style boss. they both fit and i imagined wearing the sling back one not as match but as accessory to outfit, might be off, but they were stylish shoes. then i sat, laid with maya for awhile. then i got down and went looking for my father.
dressed he was in knee length shorts, tapered, suit, tie, and jacket. a few weeks ago I envisioned that look for men. but i dont know why i thought it original it is old and all over the magazines. we said a cool greeting. and i asked him what he was doing and it is like he told me he was surveying to scale everything and on the ground it was like i was on massive land, like the twelve acres or more. and the intimation was he was scaling the land to give apportions. to me inclusive. when i thought of it either in the dream or emerging out of it, i realized i am the first in line and oldest to get any portion, the most. then i kept walking and there were two women there, and it is as if they were my siblings. and i do have two step sisters. but they in the dream were grown, different and not the sisters i have now. and its like i just remembered in a flash that the one i was talking to with a ceasar hair style and a suit, black and white check suit, that she was a lawyer and i started asking her about the land. and before she could answer me she asked me what did the other sister say, as if she is a lawyer too, more versed and intuitive and skilled and like this one, who was more prominent in my mind as a lawyer was checking to see and set her thermometer by this other sister. it was wild. but we were walking up and over mounds and the land was vast. it was kind of like being on long island but not. more like being in south africa where there is no end to the land you are standing, not its boundaries. just horizons.
i find this to be a hella odd dream
mind you, my father is the reason for my privileged life this cycle
but he has also robbed and disinherited me of land and two homes already via the death of my mother. this is a dream of my past, current and i believe future life. mixing up people from all stages. sources of problems solving the problems they created?
interesting
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