Monday, October 6, 2014

Protest Contexts and Outcomes

   

 
                aye ayiti
cries and crises everywhere
 your legacy and gift
like bile
for our negation and forgetfulness
neither regard nor reflected glory
for trying to liberate us
giving us breath we stifled

you our first martyr

-------------

well once again i am on the vibration of the unknown

last night i was asked by barry an artist among a group of us curating the very next exhibit you see at the national art museum, "is there anything I am willing to die for"

i was stumped. in hindsight, by the time the night was over, I realized, sane and sensible people would knot that is not a question you ask. that comes like one of the most highly and sacred sacrosanct levels attained through the gift of having life. it is also not something you ask because as most evolved people know there are some emotions experiences and responses, as well as stance one may be pushed to take in one's life that you would never ever know unless life in its horror takes you there. it was never anywhere you conceived you would ever be, and so those types of explorations do not occur in a vacuum. and at best only the highest among us stop to ask ourselves that question long before any incidence, just as only a handful stop and consider, 'why should i have children' yeah. shocker, eh? Boodoom!

so for all of that i stumbled and faltered through an answer, but i did finally get to it: what it was i am willing to die for. at first the context was: In Trinidad, -- I said nothing. but i quickly realized if not in trinidad, where on earth where, no where so there is only trinidad. and that in itself is an answer. it is where I was born, it is the place that gave birth rise and life to me. and that is the thing, my muse and considerations are formed of and from the foundation of life, that thing that most cant make. and very few know how to give of righteousness and purity, and even few still know how to protect: for themselves and others. but i got to my answer. when i got vex enough trying to make a point ...that there is so much need in the landscape bearing from so much wrong in the landscape, that the few of us who have the wherewithal to write a book on development and what might be its possible theory and policy should be extinguishing themselves, but my vibration was not that , still, it was more of, is your people, compatriots and citizens worthy of that level ultimate sacrifice? does the landscape support that level of elevation.? after you are gone what gets carried on for your action? to what extent do the random citizens in this country know the reason for your on and off again action? what lesson do they take? what will they move forward with? how will the future change because of this action? none of the people i sat with, and they are all of perches way beyond the base and bottom...the good solid long standing middle and of intelligence and accomplishment...none of them could state in any lucidity and clarity. and that to me proved my point. in this small space if you are going to do something so grand, at least have informed the landscape so your action, the established height of all protest, will not be futile and empty.

so i wake up this morning still thinking of the discussion and thought to seek out the page of a compatriot, with whom I have exchanged views, co-protest and experiences of "being a woman in the movement" -- wondering what is she thinking about this current hunger strike.

last night one of the outcomes of the discussion is to host a seminar on the topic. one name was called but i realized no seminar on this person, this experience, this hunger strike, this proponent can happen without this other agent. she was there at the beginning. and she knows in ways because of her identities and intersectionality that misses others

from giving input I ended up with:
[The Practice of Trinidad Protest: From Anti Smelter to Hunger Strike:
Context, Truth and Meaning].

[it is 9:11]

and just as i go to write, convey and share that, i get this email..that shows me from yesterday, I was on the frequency as others are traversing...and it was a shining moment, for here in short order is the clarity of what i was trying to convey last night, that i was being challenged upon. it is said better than I could have ever hoped: i had explained it but i did not have the words to say it.

So in the discussion i began with examples of my own self and moving through...and told of the last two interludes where I came up with ideas, programs or projects to help, transform and serve the landscape and how right through, the mamaguy, the flirtation, the accolades, but for people to stand on the line, put their money where the lips and words, or give me pass, fund, or support, no...and that was my point If people are unwilling to stand with you to do the necessary work, why on earth would you rob yourself of precious life for such cretins? there it is

"Eye have urged my Brother De DOCTOR "K." to go home... Take a bush bath, after all these people passing over his head , farting down on him!!! MARTYRDOM IS WORTHLESS IN A PLACE WHERE GODLESSNESS IS RAMPANT! GO HOME AND START A SCHOOL called CONSCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!"

that was all i was trying to say.

and i can go on. i feel i could give a seminar on the futility of this:
after cowardice as an over riding character of the trinidadian, there is the description of hypocrisy, and many of those lifting up Kublalsingh for this action, decry besmirch some elemental basic ideals...maybe even Wayne too...and i think before you attempt such grand gestures how bout we try to accomplish the basic first? the basic of embracing all your compatriots, not just the ones of your town white brown and elite skin? how about we wine down racism, classism and malignment of those whose lives and experiences are not of our thieving enriching heritage. there were abut a thousand steps before we got to Level Nth Degree is all I am saying.

but to close, i am spurred again...in the discussion of this experience you will here every single body who is expositioning begin with "I feel..." "I believe..."...and my point and issue is. For a martydom such as this, there should have been a statement, in this smalll space there should have been a personal policy statement by Kublalsingh of what he was doing and why, this last time. I write and I wonder if teaches are discussing him and this with their children in school. I dont know. i would say perhaps my bar is too high as always, but then i remember. it is the leroy clarke himself who wrote, "go home and start a school on conscience"

my school would be on critical thinking
but i think i may need to change my actions and movements. they should all probably emerge from the heart and hand and no longer from the head and brain

///

By the way, from sharing my experiences in the discussion last night, i stumbled into my own remembrance and answer..what I am willing to die for> in trinidad.. is taking out the folks who pollute this landscape, for that I would die...i even have names: joseph, creese, chase, douglas, and a whole bunch of people, those who have raped our treasury, rob people of their hopes dreams and life..like the UTT treasurer who tried to inform the nation of the improprieties going on there...he died penniless with cancer a few short years after ...who do you think i would take out to avenge his loss of life. that is it: me< A Warrior Avenger of sorts, in the aim to giving this country a new life which cant happen with the same thieves and criminals roaming, marauding with no end in sight

No comments:

Post a Comment