Saturday, June 13, 2015

Portentious Dreams of Train Wrecks and Disintegrating Vehicles

therapist: "you are attempting the wrong things, with the wrong people, is why all the blockages. I need to be on a higher vibration: meditation, tai chi, go see doc mayers"
and i wonder, "if the right people are found in trinidad; my right people"
and i come home to write my experience, pick up my last photo card to entry and i see my last writing: a dream i had last saturday, june 6 reads:

"I had such a weird sci fy alternate reality magical realism dreams last night. getting in car accidents where the whole right front side gets dismantled away and yet, the driver, me, feels nothing. Then driving the car and what feels like fifth st at night, and the car disintegrates where there is no vision, like if the windscreen gets smaller or my vision retards, and the car seems to be driving itself into a "train wreck" and i try to drive it to park and its parts fall off and away, seeming to enter a huge type of drain. endangering myself and others almost hitting a couple, a rastaman threatened to hit me. I felt the dream is telling me my vehicle, my life, my movements are taking me toward destruction"
that is what i wrote a week ago today.
the week's event proved to be just that:
-------------------
"I will try to make sense.
I am being bullied by two political crackpots.

And everything that happened, is all in writing, either email or fb inbox so no skews or lies on my end.
Long and short, I had and made and wrote a project with Marcia Braveboy, ONLY to write for a website she would set up. We, she and I, had a four hour meeting at the Hyatt in April where we structured the thing, my brain power and instruction to her for negotiating for our inputs and needs. There are written notes on both our end, mine are brief as I was the one instructing.
$10k/min $15K preferably
apple suite: Laptop, tablet, and phone
office and computer equipment
A second meeting was promised for me to meet her funder as I wanted to know who i was dealing with.
That never happened.
ON June 2, she phoned, asked to meet me, She disbursed $10K, it was to be $7500 but i asked for more to pay off a loan to my sister. She gave me the $10K. She knew what the money would be used toward.
Mind you, all along my working with her was affable and in a partnership and mentoring mode.
I was also trying to work with her professionally to elevate her image from the gutter where most people have her, and to move away from the public wrangling she has with so many other journalists. We talked too of a professional makeover I would do for her.
Upon Jun 2 I was dispatched to the apple store, with her driver to get my suite. but she sent me without information and instructions, which I have in writing, asking:  who to ask for, what to ask for, what is to be done. She never answered.
So i get the hardware but it could not be set up as I had no sim.
A day later, she agreed to pick me up, take me to get a sim, take me back to apple to get machines set up.
She did not follow through. That too is in writing fb inbox. This all happened this week.
The next day she had Jason Lewis write me. Though i had no engagement with him at all regarding this matter, nor did I know he or anyone else was involved, and she and I working together was to be under strict confidentiality.
A transgression of our agreement as I told her i would only work with her privately and confidentially because she is so messy i did not want to be associated with her publicly.
Since the first discussion and I seeing on fb that she would agree with me in conversations but continue acting in the same derelict manner publicly, I decided I did not want to work with her in an office as we had first set out. I realized the set up was some kind of ego boost for her and I just wanted to keep my distance. She seemed to get upset about that. And rather than discuss it with me, she shut down.
I know Jason, we used to be friends...we were trying to do projects together as well. He was also trying to get me a job, until he just stopped communicating, when he got a job with the PM.
So him writing me out of the blue when he had dropped all our projects and communications offended me. Then he was writing me in this very officious and obnoxious manner. I told him i have no agreement, arrangement or involvement with him.  He told me he was trying to get me to keep this job. I stopped exchanging with him. I told him Marcia transgressed several modes and agreements by sending him to me.
I continued writing my bits and sending them in. I just started actually two days ago, using my own equipment as I had been waiting to get the new equipment set up. Why that is, I wanted to not get entangled with the wrong people .So doing this gig, with so many things going off: Not meeting the funder, Not knowing where the writing was going: Something else i asked repeatedly and it was never forthcoming. But i found it, a website and two fb pages under GO Brave. I saw that it was innocuous  so i felt the risk was low. So I began submitting with my own computer.
Marcia knew and I made it clear what i was going to write: Middle of the road professional pieces, no partisanship and mixed subject matter; I could write on any topic, not just Trinidad politics. or for unc/pp. My first pieces were to be on jack warner what i had written on my fb pages. But i saw on the site it would be out of sync.
Anyway, in a matter of three days this deteriorated. With Marcia saying she did not want to work with me. but she did not tell me that. she sent Jason. I thought this was childish.
I refused to deal with Jason. They tried again on gmail. with him giving me instruction. I ignored him.
So the message below is what is the last missive. And the threat along with notice that the agreement is disbanded.
The threat of baliff off the bat is the bullying that jason has been carrying on with.
Trying to place me in an employee position when I am not that, not even for big wigs I work with. Far less for these two.
HE has also entered not knowing a lot of the details of my involvement with Marcia. I want to emphasize this is akin to making an agreement with someone on a project and once it starts, all the rules flip and change and because I have resisted their MO; I become the problem. And their MO is anything but preferred It is very gutterish. The whole thing. But I was trying to be smart and wise and navigate around them, and just produce, but that has not worked.
I know for a fact he came in after Marcia and I set this up.
So i wanted legal help.I cannot abide by the bullying, the changing of conditions, arrangements, agreements, who i am working with, how and under a changed payment structure. All without my consultation. That is not how agreements are managed. and certainly third parties intervening in a two person deal is inappropriate. I did not sign up for what they are trying to impose on me.
I want to place a restraining order that neither of them contact me. Cease and Desist
I want a letter to them indicating deal with 'my lawyer" and quash this matter.

And the option given them, either leave me with the equipment or pay me the $60K of the four months and the equipment.
That if they want to disband me, fine, but they get nothing from me. You dont get to stop a contract and want to determine the terms of disbanding. But I have no interest in negotiating with them I just want us to part ways at no risk, bullying, control of me and certainly not any nastiness as they are around people and may have the mindset to go down that road.
And the bottom line is this:
Marcia has a problem with me. That developed in one day. Her stopping communications as a result.
What i think is I show her how much of an incompetent she is. And that did not go well.
Marcia transgressed our professional arrangement and personal friendship by bringing in someone to bully me
I think it is all about control.
Both Marcia and Jason are trying to make me write and produce work outside my integrity after something else was arranged. ( i am repeating myself)
Marcia and then Jason decide to break the agreement, not me.
The manner in which they are moving is obnoxious
As a result , on a broken contract, they dont get to take back the equipment.
And i take exception to threats of a bailiff.
MIND YOU:This agreement was just for four months. And the equipment we were to keep.
I just want to push back without tangling with these cretins.
I have not answered Jason's last mail.
My last communication with Marcia was when she wrote she does not want to deal with me.
I told her she does not have to, Just receive my writings and dispatch the driver when money is to be disbursed.
So i have attempted to provide my side of the bargain, which is being rebuffed.
This is the matter
I got myself entangled with unscrupulous politicos, who refuse to allow me to function as how i outlined in the beginning, and now want to threaten and bully and I am trying to find a way out, quietly, decently and at their loss based on their behavior.

i forgot a critical piece that i did not stipulate clearly: A complete changing of the terms of work,
after agreement was reached on how it was structured...after lump sum for writing.
then it was changed twice: ending in $500/piece, in a matter of one day.
then in terms of content. and approach..

IF this were a real situation they would have to pay compensation for breach of contract, i think the equipment is fair game on what was to be a $60K gig"



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