Free Girls

some silly things end up being the richest.

i posted this meme up and only males liked it

then the comments got me thinking..most of them off the rails.

indicating a truth unacknowledged

the ones more in pursuit and need of marriage than females

there is so much wrong with this meme:

who is doing fairy tales. ? I never did. my whole life. never my construct

because of that I ended up being this wild wolf chick --doing all those adventurous things, traveling the world, being free, untethered. never looking for anyone

then the meme makes a dichotomy of marriage or a life

that is amazing to me. since I always was just trying to find and make a life, and being sensible enough to make the journey enjoyable...accomplishing that with flying colors it appears

But i realize from watching women around me my whole life, people dont live life, they just live markers, make markers. touch goalposts, and that might be why the divorce rate is so high, so many separations and broken homes.

so i dont look for marriage, or wait for questions, never did/. I am doing the bikes, the whisky. and when you do that, you find your companions one would think? but no. because even the ones you might be chinksing glasses with, already made their mistakes or have their people home waiting for them, and i am still that wild amazing companion bringing table, laying it out, and being fantabulous. and i know now in a place like trinidad, people fraid people like that. and women like that cant be contended /worse yet/ no one has the tools, the freedom.

for to have female friends is problematic. and free female friends untenable.

even the males supposedly free, catch a horror if is them and not their friend keeping company, and keeping company must mean something. some fk passing. because of the jealousy that runs like veins and their cowardice, trembling in fear they are not free to honor their emptiness not defied. i can run you off a list of names of boys as old as 70 or more who just want to notch their belt, be seen, pose and perpetrate, make empty promises, or when they find they really are buddies and friends with you, some day, one day will come when they pull back, not because it going anywhere but because they not free. who sister want to curtail and control and be involved with them. what sister talks of her brother's 'totee'? heard that one day in the presence of his ex wife and no one batted an eye. dont know if she was trying to encourage me. or same sibling will say she, your friend using you/ this time you eh ask a damn soul for nothing but bitchens hate to see a dark black african woman, full in her self yemoja.. being treated well, and be free. the two they not accustom, far rarer still for both in one fine body. then the women, their women, their wives, their girlfriends. all that they not doing, they cant do, and vex with you cause you free. and even with family, females only i see/ woo sah.

jealousy and resentment

I was supposed to do the former and be shackled in a marriage, functional, beautiful, useful or not.

and if even i didnt i aint dare not be so free to do it all and by myself. what "lifestyle" is that?

It has been amazing to me and I dont think i have yet before today admitted it ---being free is the most revolutionary thing you can do on the slave plantation. just being yourself. not even accomplishing a damn thing, doing nothing, wasting away your talents even, but doing it beautifully, freely, untethered, uncurtailed. WOW> throw your ass under the jail they try to build in futility that could never hold nor restrict you.

so i could write, I would want a companion to share my same activities in that list and someone can look to tell me bring it to the table..because we are locked in that mindset. I could never be writing from doing it, living it,.offering it. I have to be writing of wanting it. you cant want something you already do, did, and expertly too. in fact, you propose and offer it and nary one of them neither able or capable to run with it. so you exceed and succeed them once again. and without any bitterness of not having, being left, horned, told no, disputed.

my ex two days ago asked me how come I am looking so good, to what is the reason for my bloom...he expected to hear of some man, the one thing perennially absent. and not pining.. mostly watching , reading and laughing of the travails of my sisters holding on by fingernails, but the situation i observed the most for the last year and a half was a man afraid to say, 'i dont want you'

just being a woman , one is perceived to be with my hand out and none ah dem figure out yet whatever you may bless me with, you not qualified. set a mystified, unpedigreed , controlled cowards, uttering emptiness not even as valuable as the wind. i keep coming back to how bereft they are to even honor their word, nothing else that they have. and not even that.

stop. and wonder. why did the girl say no?

this meme is a treasure trove to deconstruct

how patriarchy has confined and confused so much

 for the free girls like me:
{who we are and what we do says and prevails far more than what we pretend.
we are all presented with the same meme.
I focus and comment on the life: the bikes, the whisky..
you focus on 1. asking someone to marry you, 2. the brand out there.
someone else focuses on what i bring to the table.
and guess what?> if all of us were doing bikes,whisky, golf, hunting and fishing, we would have no sad tales.
interesting uh>
no need to wonder. we all on different vibrations
I am the man who is the girl, who never said no, cause i not even waiting or looking for questions, never heard no, cause i was just living.}

that is the difference. guess i dont read what is not my vibration wink emoticon'