My Birthday 52 Valentine Michelle's 47th February 15, 2017

"Hi Melise,

Thanks for getting in touch, and my apologies for not reacting to the message request. I read your CV, and your background and experience sound very complex and interesting.

This the problem with interdisciplinary writers and researchers like yourself: while the academia seems to celebrate interdisciplinarity, when it comes to hiring people it is often the candidates with streamlined publication records and teaching experience in a specific field who get shortlisted.

Given your interest and experience in creative writing... "

-----------------------------------so apart from the above email that was such water refreshing my soul, my hands, my craft, my investments and my potential in new areas and fields...

i was just given a birthday party. out of the blue. presents and everything. i was so surprised. complete with speeches, toasts and stories of connection, history and from source. today is also my sister's birthday. mine is the 6th. and somehow, for some reason, she decided to celebrate me on her day. Part of her speech was that she told Mommy that she finds I am happier these days. How weird.

Cause I also feel the last few days I was in an intense despair and struggle.

So after cake, ice creams, and bubbly, and a retestament of our connections moving forward.. and my gosh the last thing I got was a car, written by Maya, from everybody, even her daddy wayne.

---------------------------------------------------------but here is the kicker...

today was a therapy session, and I came home after a two hours or just under of venting , regaling of the last five or so days, all my anger, struggles, highs, lows, disappointments...I came home and I felt all the weight was lifted, I felt cleansed, I felt renewed. and I was quite surprised. i came home and ended up writing the therapist to tell her today was phenomenal. how phenomenal? does your therapist share her full organic meal with you? one of home cooked vegetables and coconot light curry chicken? broccoli and green beans were just this side of steamed and still bright green. before that I had green tea, not knowing lunch was coming

--------then in the midst of our conversation , she shared a mutual friend of ours was demitting her role, office and job. and how the few years in that job has eroded and paid a high toll on her health.

she went on to say to me, "Think about it: "If you are able to be successful in a sick environment and society, what does that really say and mean? what did you have to do to conform to make it?"

and I just asked her to stop. cause she ws speaking to the pit of my soul.

what is the value of all of this??? as much as I have paid a price in torment not being employed, how much I strived and bitched, moaned and complained, got bitter and enraged, I was being protected. set aside. apart and covered. I did not belong in these places. with none of these people.

and then to come home to find that my people who i have been fighting, who have been fighting me, for these recent years, organized a party for me. and so many played a part: my mom taking the grand children to buy gifts for me and michelle. Michelle buying a cake for us that we both cut, and both fed each other, she toasting and celebrating and blessing me. and when I was called to the dining table, it was Mona who said, the birthday girls on either side of the table.  the two of us. the two grand daughters. five years apart. Mona even gave a toast and said the two of us grew up here, are formed of here. and was raised by them, as if she is like a mother to us. It was really....  spectacular.
Everything and Anything can turn around , and out of nowhere, with no signs of it coming. Mona and I were having words this morning.  What a gift

what the heck is happening here?

mark this day down

one for the books, and perpetuity

a turn in the book a new book