The Soul on Journey

Sheldon Mendoza :
"dont post online and dont share....we too have to keep what is sacred secret for our own safety"
(said of a youtube video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRY0l1LGQJE

Me:
"what he talks about young souls who stay and protect...my brother did that...part of how i know some of the things i do

my brother died at 18. was shocked, dead from fine in a few days. tried to come back to me as my child. i refused. he put a curse on my life...and only when mayers just said protect, i realize he blocked me from other people/men.

i just did a ceremony, by myself, that also elevated my spirit, courage and fearlessness---i ventured where i should not have, survived and thus elevated---to put him to rest...he has been on me as attachment for 22 years/

deep"
Sheldon Mendoza
"u can always visit dr mayers to help u free ur self"
Me:
"
i know dr. mayers and he knows me
"he sees me"

he offered to work with me after hours once, about astral travelling, which i do not infrequently, and other alterbeing processes...but the day we were to meet, I showed up but he was not there, did not answer his phone

I have stuff like that has happened to me continually here in trinidad
to be honest, i have learned it is because i keep being open to seeing and finding brighter lights, older souls of enlightenment, those who can teach, guide and support my lone and very lonely, very rare journey. but something always happen

either i am venturing where they are afraid to (with my brother and a woman who i hoped would be my spiritual mother...she has gifts, but i now understand was not powerful to the tasks of her, got into trouble and never ventured back

and two other men, alibocus in south and an indian naturopath in central...i realize my soul and being is higher, knows more, older, more powerful than the ones I seek.

I have been read that i keep wanting to be a student but it is now for me to be a teacher

as a result, i pay heed when such incidents (misses ) happen, as people i need not be around, people who my own human self wishes for comfort, but know they havent it to give

know what i am trying to say
i have knocked on Mayers door. i recognize him, but he has nothing for me. at least not to now

peace
and despite how i read, i do write, humbly, but i cannot deny my truth and what i know (pass through"
Sheldon Mendoza:
"yes i quite understand....peace...u already know what you need to do...you just need to do it"

Me:
"interesting. for as many times as people tell me that for the first time a picture came to mind: to be a teacher. healer. spiritual teacher.

but it is the hardest part when i come under so much undermining, aggression, attitude and resistance

i am not even clear how to do it.
i think i am not yet ready; not just me, personally, ego, physically, humanly, but me soul. i think some more pieces need to emerge

i think if i do it now it will be me installing myself...and i seem to sense that is not how it is to be

either time, energy, universe, circumstance, steps, ancestors, recognition...installs me, or i keep toiling until..if...when...

\i think. it is my understanding to now, dont know how it might change

now you know more about me than anybody on this page"