September 3, 2011 Middle Night Soul Revealings, LifEpiphanies and Future Unfolding

so many thoughts fill my mind/ they interrupt my thought sequence at different moments to remind me...remember to write...but i feel i do not have a coherent story yet ..nevertheless, this date, September 3, 2011

the thought that just interrupted: during the night it hit me how grown folk are shown by one thing: those who do what they have to, what they must, what is the right thing to do no matter who or what; someone did to you, or what space they are in or inhabiting. so if you land, call and say hi. not because they curtailed your interaction does it mean you have to go to enemy stance  #GrownFolk. This popped in my mind as i watched and observed men in groups. they cuss each other out holy and completely but they come around to shaking hands, drinking beers and commiserating again...and i am at a loss to figure that one out for i do not get close enough to their mind to understand the real move, motivation, thinking.

the other thing i have been thinking hard upon since last night is this thread, ...

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=10150368873465148&id=520315147

...and the blogpost from which it came, and the writer, and the identity they inhabit, the role and function they say they are about, but with quotes and words that betray another form...and how to deal with that in a space where no confrontation ever takes place and we friend and belove enemies, even those who call us out of our names, to our faces, and we laugh and make light of the pathology, unable unwired it seems to honesty and personal integrity.; and in the meanwhile all the work we need and is critical to our national development is mamaguyed...i ponder how to engage all that..

Personally though, the greatest weight

so much came in a tidal wave, not one huge but little small ones building a poolake

1. our future is in our past/ i know we have read people write that, but only when you have an epiphany, I think do we understand how poignant

2. we may think we are doing nothing, missed the boat, or life left us on the pier, but really, we are being prepared, we are being taught, we are there to fish the pieces out the water and to watch the naysayers sail down the river to the falls, without a submarine. get me/it was not our waters to drink from, inhabit, bathe in or encounter

3. the seemingly unrelated things we did, learned, and ventured was as if we were unknown, building the tool chest of skills and abilities; painting a collaborative piece by the varied hands of our different personalities or past lives.

4. the future is in the chance things that people say, maybe curses, may be blessings, may be marching orders, clues, actions, withholdings or riddles...but it is there, if you know what to look at/ look at everything.

5. then that gets me to some thing i read on twitter yesterday, someone wrote a book of how to discover your future. And I remember pausing and considering the title. Wondering what on earth are they gonna say and maybe even make up. And I realized through the night that

6. this is what I am writing you here. My story, how it is evolving, the answers coming, as I just stay faithful to my intent. My journey, my goal and expectation, that this was not all for naught, fraught as it was...it was just seasoning, wizening, sweetening. an unfolding, still in process.
7. I feel I know what I am to do now. At least what I am marching to. I even see what it will be like, and the boldness in which I will do it.
8. And of course all of this was helped by those who unwittingly, openly stated what their third eye saw
9. Everything is economical, resourceful and to a purpose..
Keep your eyes open

afterthought: {it is all there/ even in my name}