So it is a new year
the same wretched hauntings attach to me
riddles and mysteries conflux daily
what are the blockages and why am i standing still
how does one so reposed with talkent, skill, beauty and potential not have anything?
not liveilhood, man, mate, companion, lovers or friends
job. entrepreneurship, or hideaway
my daily mantra will be 'how can i turn this around/?'
my search is how to rise and transcend myself, its walls or prisons
why am i not providing? what happened? have i been asleep?
through some unbelievable trauma that has stunted me
how am i a woman so full of ideas and yet, without patrons, supporters, believers, funders?
a treasure trove without owner or social captial
who ever heard?
one with all the answers to every problem except her own
i feel though i am asking the obvious
if one wants to find place and space among these earth natives and from under dwellers and exploiters,
one must have a nose not straighter but more broken than theirs
if one wants to be received and given pass, one must be begging, shorn of any inheritance, royalty or legacy
but instead be, crab, clawing and willing to do anything to be in the cabal of iniquity
one must not have friends, families and observers who fear them more than like them
or those who when the gatekeeper asks, 'shall i open the gate?'. your most consistent companion says,
'she is not ready'
no. one wont get very far in a small space with such contextual designations
and before that, amidst the dominant white kind
one cannot like them walk as a sole conqueror, creator, empowerment and explorer
one must defer to them, their grand whiteness, as bestower of life and all things good
and i never did. i looked them in their eye even as I was 5' 2" below
All this eludes to is a spirit of superiority
and folks rarely help the superior above them
unless it is a black wombmyn
and all would look upon her as 'what can you possibly do for me: nothing'
so types of my kind get left alone
either to fight or languish
and i got tired fighting long ago.
long before the war i started losing
one can't fight for survival for decades and never get tired
8:33am January 8, 2012
the same wretched hauntings attach to me
riddles and mysteries conflux daily
what are the blockages and why am i standing still
how does one so reposed with talkent, skill, beauty and potential not have anything?
not liveilhood, man, mate, companion, lovers or friends
job. entrepreneurship, or hideaway
my daily mantra will be 'how can i turn this around/?'
my search is how to rise and transcend myself, its walls or prisons
why am i not providing? what happened? have i been asleep?
through some unbelievable trauma that has stunted me
how am i a woman so full of ideas and yet, without patrons, supporters, believers, funders?
a treasure trove without owner or social captial
who ever heard?
one with all the answers to every problem except her own
i feel though i am asking the obvious
if one wants to find place and space among these earth natives and from under dwellers and exploiters,
one must have a nose not straighter but more broken than theirs
if one wants to be received and given pass, one must be begging, shorn of any inheritance, royalty or legacy
but instead be, crab, clawing and willing to do anything to be in the cabal of iniquity
one must not have friends, families and observers who fear them more than like them
or those who when the gatekeeper asks, 'shall i open the gate?'. your most consistent companion says,
'she is not ready'
no. one wont get very far in a small space with such contextual designations
and before that, amidst the dominant white kind
one cannot like them walk as a sole conqueror, creator, empowerment and explorer
one must defer to them, their grand whiteness, as bestower of life and all things good
and i never did. i looked them in their eye even as I was 5' 2" below
All this eludes to is a spirit of superiority
and folks rarely help the superior above them
unless it is a black wombmyn
and all would look upon her as 'what can you possibly do for me: nothing'
so types of my kind get left alone
either to fight or languish
and i got tired fighting long ago.
long before the war i started losing
one can't fight for survival for decades and never get tired
8:33am January 8, 2012
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