I thought i was living a singular trial and dark tunnel. Turns out, I am reading, many black women are in the "same boat". I seriously wonder that, despite that being what they comment, post and share. I have not interrogated. Be that as it may, I thought there was some value that there are others struggling, seeming as if there life is in standstill.
Then, seemingly coincidentally, in one day, there are three independent conversations I am having with three different sets of people, only for it to be one fabric, of three threads, into one story, one reality,. one picture...
I post to document my own path and journey; but also for posterity
I> Still Struggling....
Then, seemingly coincidentally, in one day, there are three independent conversations I am having with three different sets of people, only for it to be one fabric, of three threads, into one story, one reality,. one picture...
I post to document my own path and journey; but also for posterity
Sista Sasy lying to my mom about my sneakers i left in the school locker
she suffered from major depression so i ended up taking care of her by MANY lies about where my clothes were (so she wouldn't worry over the fact that they were not where she could see them) so i grew up lying about gym-suits, sneakers, loafers the general whereabouts of my clothing so she wouldn't go on a HOUSE HUNT - how's that??
Maven Huggins
your question makes me ponder if my whole life and pursuits were inauthentic? when people see me as the complete embodiment of authenticity...but i see no other earthly reason for the wall and stagnation of my life, despite so much skill, talent, abilities, a phd and world travel; no love and men even, robbed of land and homes, a few times.. I feel i am living a riddle.
a nasty trick, if i werent so sanguine and spiritual about the whole thing...the flip side..i am 47 look 28. i am healthy and when people see me, they are shocked i am "so beautiful":
more rhyme for the riddle.
i never once thought of this before...and i did see you post about unauthenticate yesterday...the possibility did not hit me then
#me, clutchingstrawsforanswers
Kathleen Wells Maven, you are not alone -- I think many sistas are facing this exact situation. We must stick together and give each other support, I believe.
Kathleen Wells It's the society -- it degrades black women, and puts a premium on white -- period. Nonetheless, there is hope, if there is awareness on your part. You can recognize what's being done and just plod along and eventually something will open up for you.
For me, it is important to remain authentic and grateful, as possible. And I don't have any particular/specific expectations, at this point.
Kathleen Wells I'm grateful for FB because it does allow social interaction where one would not have it.
Listen, you can't get more authentic than me, I believe, right? Yet, I have folks calling me out for this, that and the other, right. A guy yesterday on FB said I must not like black woman who don't have my education -- you see the ignorance. Fools. Clueless. Time wasters.
Ramona Parks Maven, you are not alone!!! I am pondering on the question as well, inauthentic vs. authentic. I am a walking enigma, it's not important how people see me, but how I see myself. My life is a riddle and i'm trying to figure it out. Although looking at it from the outside, its well put together.
Kathleen Wells And another thing that makes you authenticate, Maven is that you are willing to go there and make the inquiry. Most folks can't even go there -- don't ever go there and continue to walk through life as zombies. They lack depth and are shallow.
Kathleen Wells And I say the same to you, Ramona. Most folks don't even ask the question. What are they doing -- pretenders.
Roni Jones Well, I am a black woman who does not have your education and I always feel the love when ever you are around me.
- Kathleen Wells This white guy said that to me. Always some white guy telling a black woman what it's all about.
---
Kathleen Wells This thread feels like a Joan Armatrading song -- she is so authentic to me. Her songs resonate truth for me.
- Maven Huggins I am pondering this thread...
I love the Joan Armatrading reference.
I ponder wondering, should a fb page be created, and called what? Still Struggling to Survive...?
How do we create a support group
I wonder if we really are living the same story...I am unemployed. with nothing. Nothing I attempt works. When I write life submerged, stalled and at a wall, i am not writing in metaphor
I then wonder, should this be a book>? I have two essays in two separate book collections, one on Obama, one on Illiteracy...
should we do a book of our individual stories...
Struggles in Authentic Explorations:
Black Wombmyn Writing Their Personal Lives in 2012
~ What do you think
I am deeply grateful for the collective, not that we are struggling but that I am not alone when in my sphere of life, spanning all continents, family, networks, I Am. ;!
- Francisco J. Acosta
I'm so impressed by the honesty in the responses to your question, Kathleen. Brava to Maven Huggins for being so brave and open. According to a TED Talk I heard last weekend, there have been roughly 106,000,000,000 people who have walked the earth. I can assure you that not one of them had the same life. Like Madonna sang, "Life is a mystery. Everyone must stand alone." And Shakespeare said (through the character Polonius) "This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." Authenticity is everything and what a strive for constantly. Even when I'm way off the mark, I know that it's my heart's desire to get to that state of grace.
- Kathleen Wells When we live in a society that gives air time to Sarah Palin slamming Michelle Obama, we know that there is a white card and most folks, either consciously or unconsciously, embrace that card everyday.
Kathleen Wells Yes, it takes courage to speak the truth and Maven is brave/courageous.
Kathleen Wells Most folks I talk to speak their truth, otherwise, I have no use for hogwash, BS -- life's too short.
Maven Huggins you mention Michelle Obama Kathleen and the connection is not lost on me, and i notice that no one has mentioned it, for sure because they are all asleep...her onslaught and attacks...is nothing but...black woman under epistemic violence
I appreciate the embrace from all, Francisco/thanks!
II> "Epistemic Violence"fhcregistration.wufoo.com
- David Simmons for details on the book: http://
www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ modernizing-medicine-in-zim babwe-david-s-simmons/ 1102407028
www.barnesandnoble.com
Available in: Hardcover. As subSaharan Africa continues to confront the runaway ...See more
-
Maven Huggins send me something about what your book is about? medicine? you into medicine? know i fantasize about going to med school...to be a naturopath of a kind --to do my natural healing thing but with the knowledge to credentials.
wanted to go to Cuba for free but they changed their protocol. now you have to be young and poor. and well...I dont fit either..
so very interested to hear/learn
David Simmons @maven, there's a description of the book on the above link. i have a friend who's a naturopath -- great career move. i say go for it.\
Maven Huggins on and off, amounting to about two years between 1990- 1994
Congratulations too. I am remiss...
Maven Huggins no. but i met and connected with a lot of folk there..was working with NGOs...i started out with National Council of Negro Women and went onto ZIDS, ENDA, etc.
- David Simmons you were there as HIV/AIDS was reaching its height, esap, and general spiral downward.
Maven Huggins
yes yes yes I was...many friends fell. Tsitisi -(prevera) -as soon as I go to say her last name it leaves me and goes spanish...she was a tv presenter..her lover, who was the brother of the sheraton manager..Musikavanu...plenty people. PLENTY..secretary in my office after i left..there was a brother at MSU who fell..in my dept of Ag Econ. sad I dont remember his name..but I remember watching him walk up the steps to the library and seeing him through the glass. frightening..he was skin and bones...i see his face clearly...cant remember his name.
Zimbabwe is a peculiar place in my herstory...
between my personal life, AIDS in the country, living down the road from Robert Mugabe on 3rd and Tongogara..and people being shot if you drove, walked or rode in front of his house after 6pm, land reform, learning about women warriors in the fight to liberation, being there when the country's independence was a mere 10years old, being cussed out in the street cause folk thought I was Zim, address me in Shona and when I answer think I am being funny...where the country was at that time in 1990, and how it has deteriorated in the meaning/intervening years...has been quite deep...beyond words in a weird way...i feel, recounting it all now, that i should write about it, but that is why it is so peculiar...ever live something but you dont know enough to even understand, interpret or give it any justice...but it was profound nevertheless? well yea. that...
David Simmons yes, i know exactly what you're talking about. i write about that sense of peculiarity in the intro of the book, of feeling like there was so much that i felt i was only partially understanding. so much greed and meanness and corruption and, at the same time, so many stories of selflessness and survival and healing and hope-building. it was and is a very complicated reality.
Maven Huggins
now i am curious about your book, because what I know is that the traditional healers may very well be part of the problem, but it has been years that i have given that thought...am i wrong? wild wild wild...when i think of men who rape babies in the idea that they will be cured...drinking all kind of mixtures.. wow. I am and have been away from it..I do now wonder of the statistics. I do know that no where is as ravished than as Southern Africa, and Zim was one of the earlies, even before or with Uganda...ha. need to call down some serious power...
I remember another common cause of its spread was powerful rich men and their women they escorted or entertained...in all the beer gardens, something I miss much, the beer gardens>
aye. Life eh...the place of enjoyment and memories is the spot of much death and perversity...
piripiri brai, music, dance, smokes, people and sex
Maven Huggins just by accident or synchronicity, the questions of your book are the exact reason I want to go to medical school even as I wish to be a natural healer...to know the science and not be doing crosscience
Maven Huggins i often wonder what Zim is like now, and what life would be like for "an expat" it was wild being on the edges or fence of indigenous, expats usually white, though i hooked in with a trini family, ...being neither in or out either
- David Simmons
ah yes. pleasure and death...that could've been the title of the book, too. healers have been implicated as part of the problem...in the media, by well-meaning western or western-trained researchers who have an axe to grind with African traditional medicine. what I found was quite different: a collapsing formal healthcare system that people could not easily access nor had much confidence in. i saw people doing the best the best they could in a very resource-poor setting, where access to translocally produced medicines out of the reach of most. the hundreds of healers i worked with were making great strides in ameliorating the suffering of their patients.
Maven Huggins all the more reason for me to read your work; I get an idea for a need--a text that correlates./examines/explore the western media's assessment of african medicine to AIDS, the treatments, ingredients, its targets, effects, and how it is matched to western meds and protocols to hiv'/aids...
that work would highlight what natural remedies exist..
- David Simmons @maven, i talk about the framing of africans in early media coverage of the pandemic and to some extent the pathologization of African traditional medicine by westerners, but it would be interesting to look specifically at media's framing of African medicine.
Maven Huggins
but i am also trying to focus on comparing medicines, treatments, protocols and effectiveness on patients and to do so qualitatively...
fascinating work indeed...
you know there is a great described medical program at Case Western to do public science and research...this kind of project would qualify...if only i can get a sponsor, donor, patron for my medical studies and then to fund my philanthropy...that is not too much to ask is it...and then publications.. ;- David Simmons
@maven, a qualitative approach to comparing those issues would be very interesting. i imagine it would have to rely on self-reported efficacy (or lack thereof) from the perspective of patients and practitioners. but i still like the media angle --it'd be easy enough to do content analyses of, say, US/European news media covering african traditional medicine and compare/contrast with African media coverage of the same. the term i use my book to talk about this negative framing is "epistemic violence" which gets at how biomedical orthodoxy/ideology devalues other therapeutic practices, in essence casting them as backward, pre-modern, and in need of some kind of intervention.
- Kimberly Russell
"epistemic violence" -- love it! it is interesting how the negative framing is somehow believed to be beyond a cultural relativity... as if western media is believed by westerners to not present a cultural perspective in itself... i used to get into debates about how media lends itself to the cultural lens and perpetuation of dominance and colonization with journalists (when i was once an aspiring journalist many moons ago - lol) ... there is no objectivity in media coverage in essence... that is nonsense, and this devaluing of other perspectives is violent and dangerous....
- David Simmons
@kimberly, and it's not only something that happens in the media (i was a journalist, too, before going to grad school) -- it's institutionalized in other areas like our schools, our courts, etc. a former professor of mine (a radical black feminist sociologist) talked about the intellectual assault she felt under while attending grad school -- that there was this institutionalized devaluation of who she was and what she knew. this is epistemic violence.
Maven Huggins "epistemic violence"
that phrase hits me hard this morning...as I am on another stream right now..with other black women...talking about...
"Maven, you are not alone -- I think many sistas are facing this exact situation. We must stick together and give each other support, I believe.... It's the society** -- it degrades black women, and puts a premium on white -- period."
now mind you, i get stuck in two ways: one, if we really are living the same experience...and two, "society" written as one, when in fact, I am living in a different one...yet, how do we confirm this is one holistic systemic program/pogrom running
bizarre a thousand times, nevertheless, "epistemic violence" strikes all chords and it keeps reverberating/constant vibrations...
- How do u survive with no work
- i gave yo my house. i live at family home with mom. she takes care of everything. I do have savings, but we agreed for me not to use it, since I made so many other people rich for three years paying exorbitant rent.....but that is what a lot of my challenges are about...one of the things I dont have control over. I just went on an interview to be a customer attendant in a book store and they refuse to hire me saying I am way above that...
so i just try to be graceful for where i am, and endless people tell me to be grateful...for one reason or another which is amazing and I am, but this is also bizarre. things upside down
- Ok. I have been at home too for a bit while I finish my house project, mind you these days its more of a ruins than anything. It works out great for me as I get support with my toddler. Can't trust these child minders. Once its done though am gonna have to move out. So being 40 and living at home aunt that abnormal at all.
- no. sadly. abnormal for me cause I have lived on my own since 18 .
But this being an island. a very small island. with more people and young, and new professionals and new nouveau riche, there is no land to go to...so folk either build their parents house or make clan lots multiple houses on top each other...taking up all yard space...
since the economy is as it is. huge bottom and smaller richer top, you will find people have to live with their parents without even rebuilding or building anything new because they dont make enough to even consider such a prospect
multiple generational homes are common more than common...the Indians, do it no matter whether they doing well or poor...the africans are doing it too and just as much but for other reasons.
just last week i proposed to my aunt for me to build a three level carriage house in the yard but i realized i am such an interloper here...and so many are concerned that i stay and get this house,..the land I was born to..but that my aunt built having got the land and our old house after my grandfather;'s death (see that is how it works here...land and homes passed on after death to remaining child...so yes, there is often a remaining child in the home...I missed one grave point...to take care of parents as they age..--another reason why mature people stay at home, at least the unmarried)
but yeah..this is not where i should or want to be, but it is where i am..and the story is complicated...i am here too cause my father sold my mother's land and house she had on the market to renters when it was illegal for him to do so...and he has settled himself in his mother's house he moved back in wither her when my family moved back to trinidad from brooklyn...and rebuilt it (see the trend)..and he took it and moved his new wife in there, a woman 9 years younger than me, so I am lost to that house too
I am living a peculiar story my dear...that is why i laugh at you all who still think you have control...loss of control has not yet visited the delusion...but it happens to many every day...
I never planned nor prepared to be living this situation but here i am,,,and i cant fight it..i am most concerned that my fight turns back on me, to my physical body...not an option...so i just take grace and look for ways out
I might go to medical school. to see if i can restart and remake a life...
- did I tell you?
I went to an interview oN Monday to work in a bookstore, just to be the person on the floor, dealing with customers, they refused to hire me or consider me for that post as customer service rep, so sometime, control is what we dont have...seems i am just to sit on the river bank and watch the river flow by...
i tried to do business. it is weird, this is a weird place and i am living some weird dynamics that puzzles even me, but i put that pass me, behind me....need to stop trying to figure out riddles...me not having men interested in me is part of the whole shebang
- since 2007, I have thought to be a courtesan, but i dont think it can work here...too small...but go elsewhere unknown...for sure..
if nothing else
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www.youtube.comABC Report: Why Successfull Black Women Find It So Hard To get Married (Steve Harvey Shares Input) I found this video on the web. Please comment and rate. Te... - Charlene MzMuffin Modeste the successful black men marry white women. Or remain players. It is fact.
- Renee Cummings I wont say it is a fact, some do many dont. Dezel Washington is married to a black woman? I think that perception is very NBA and may not be the reality. I know lots of successful black women who are marrued to successful black men not only in the US but right here in T&T.
- Charlene MzMuffin Modeste Steve Harvey! love him! hehehe! The problem is that intellectual levels have to be ,.....well....level. It's not about $$. It's about compatibility. But the slim pickings is still very diminished by the NBA phenom,....
Maven Huggins i remember that woman in the black and white top. this video is kind of old/
Girl, you really dont want to get me started...i know you dont. I not biting your biscuit... ;) lol- Carol-Ann Frontin De Peaza successful men have the advantage of choice.... less of them and white women find them attractive too and she may not be a professional...and that also reduces the chances for the black professional woman
- Charlene MzMuffin Modeste it is a sad thing for a woman who has spent years educating herself,....to realise that the men that are available to her cannot spell, don't understand themselves, and have no basic developmental education. But they still want to be "man" and give "what to do " instructions.
- Charlene MzMuffin Modeste I is not angry,...I is speaking the truths,....and if I find a man who speaks like this for FUN too,...... it could be the start of a real conversation. Dammit. lololBrian Pouchet For fear of getting my testicles ripped off and thrown in the Maraval river, I will keep quiet and just observe.
- Charlene MzMuffin Modeste See what I mean,....a big bad man is afraid of positive truthful contribution. smh and lol
- Burton HindsWomen need to be less Judgmental. That does not mean you should not have standards. But in life there are shades of gray, its not black and white. Women have been trained that all they need to bring to the table is "woman". What they are finding themselves faced with is that there are women in the 10,000's bringing the same thing. To be successful and fine like they are and not be in a relationship in years? Something is very wrong and they also need to look in the mirror. But Steve said something I agree alot. " Men our age made a mistake in that we did not teach the generation behind us the principles of manhood" I apologize Charlene.
- Maven Hugginsand that is why Renee, this kind of subject is not to be had in mixed or ignorant company. know how wounding it is for a sister to be told that, to hear and read that...?
most folk have no clue that there IS such a phenomena as Epistemic Violence against/directed and toward black women. Only those who travel the globe far and wide and understand the dynamics of the places, cultures and overarching institutions can recognize it
Before I had to address that comment, I was coming to share with you did you know there are studies from last year showing that in/on dating sites, black women are 1. the least engaged in conversations; 2.
LOL> Brian have me shaking with laughter. OH Lord. You see how sense can save you...but Brian I do want to hear what you have to say...
But getting back...
2. the least to be asked on a date
3. the least of profiles to even be viewed/read...
i am sure it can be found by google
it aint no joke
Black women are invisible. made more so if one is neither naked or outside the stereotypical norm
that Black Girl Curse is way beyond the range discussed in that video
You see what they are and have been doing to Michelle Obama..put her in monkey face, stereotype, characterizing...we are all back to another from of Eugencis
the other universal part of that..in these Americas, black women are deformed. So many things are wrong with her: attitude, physicality, behavior, it is like no one can find nothing good decent and befitting about and to black women, we are nothing other than bitches, hoes.within our community and subjected subjugated outside..
It is deep
and i am going to try and leave this subject alone at this point. I was talking about this on a thread last week and I proposed a book...Black Women Struggling to Survive Amidst Epistemic Violence...my host, a friend with an American radio program told me, "that is too high a subject for the population; most folk wont know what nor know how to engage such a big term"
far less for now...lol
wheysah - Aka-Liselle FlaveneyMost women have such problems getting married, hence the reason is so because that said young woman forgot where she simply came from, she has lost her strong cultural values, for example willing to cook/clean or being fully domestically inclined with her said degree she has failed to realize these are the things that keeps a good Distinguished Gentlemen around and hey!! I am not talking about a bag of unwanted goods LOL... "A Good God Fearing Man"
- Brian PouchetWhat the hell let me go brave, this is based on experience not any film or article. The problem with black successful women is one of attitude, attitude in the home and attitude in the office world. They do not when enough is enough, they can't turn off the man/woman challenge when they get home. Many many years ago I was engaged to a very successful businesswoman, she was so driven that my friends used to call her blue thunder and that persona never switched off. The relationship didn't last but I learned. So when they ask Why Successfull Black Women Find It So Hard To get Married it's not their choice but it's the man's.
- Burton Hinds Maven, interesting points, however I would like to focus on our little rock here and I say much of your points for want of a better word do not describe the problems here. So what you see as the issue?
- Charlene MzMuffin ModesteIt is the man. I have read ALL of this ,....and I realise ,....again,....men do not understand themselves. My Masters thesis is based on genger relations in TT. There is a real reason for the above phenom,....and it is not the women's attitude. It is the men's. It is cultural mixing and confusion,.....and a dichotomous set of needs men have that are in themselves opposed to each other. I have done the empirical research. I do not know what happens in America,....but I am positive as to what is happening here.
- Nigel Clement Here goes- my response on the above subject is captured in somethng I saw on youtube http://youtu.be/
_AdRs5fEy-k
- Maven Hugginsi am not qualified to speak on here. I am not on the ground, in the mix, have experience, or get close enough to stories to understand...
if you are saying the problems do not ascribe to here, then Renee;s whole post is off, cause I see women getting married here...
who they marry and how many other women their husbands have is another story. I also see women marrying to serious detriment, and the price of high abuse: if not emotional, then physical to loss of limb and life. The third thing I see, is that folk get married but the man remains living la vida single...never home to raise children contribute to household;; there is even the phenomena here of the single married woman
here in trinidad, if i can say what I see--women desperate to be Mrs. Somebody at all cost, any cost, run self ragged cost, just to be Mrs. nevermind the great lie all and sundry observe in that dynamic>
That is how I see it here..
But again, I not qualified to speak..others might know better
- Maven Huggins i want to hear what you have to say Charlene, on your research and if it is done, send it to me...let me learn somethingBurton Hinds That is FUNNY SHYTE Brian...lololol
- Brian Pouchet @Burton, it wasn't so funny back in '86. To answer your first question Renee Cummings, the good men are all around you but are the women worthy of their attention.
- Maven Huggins I have a very glaring searing experience in trinidad that I shall never forget. I was at a party in pos. of all the black men in attendance, NONE of them were with a black woman. NONE
- Aka-Liselle FlaveneyI am now watching this video and the things I want to say It will be toooooo Real to write on facebook LOL..... but I must tell you when I dream certain dreams at night of me being something like the queen of Rome or some sort, I am really never Married with such success in my "Dreams" LOL... sooo you see It is proven fact even to me that I need to continue giving my hubby what he needs to survive and hopefully he would pop his big ???? Ha!!! LOL well well I really reach where I'm going Thanks alot Renee Cummings (*_*)Brian Pouchet Maven Huggins, that's the old-&T black man.
- Charlene MzMuffin Modeste My paper and research is 173 pages long and cannot be discussed here. I realise you are fully conversant with the symptoms of the gender relations problem here. I have investigated the cause. It is an historical problem.Brian Pouchet @Aka-Liselle, I hope you mean pop the big question.
- Maven HugginsBurton, did you tell anyone that Sam Kenison and a black american woman do not relate to the local landscape, or was it just my story that was so glaringly excluded.
Brian. I am the oldest in my family. in my generation. My two cousins younger than me, married men that appoint to those descriptions. one was abused, the other is single married.
the older men, are not that I know. even if they had women, which almost all of them had/did/were, they did take care of home, made some contribution and i am not talking about money. So i know it and see it differently
- Maven Huggins so i just stopped the first video that seemed to drone on...going to Kenison now
- Brian Pouchet Hey Burton, yuh ever tell a local black woman how fine she looks and get a friendly answer?
- Maven Huggins Brian, I just got to Kenison screaming...we cant have these discussions in public,,,they are more apt for a counseling chair/.
and that video definitely dont match no trini reality. any trini woman who thinks she has her mate's husbands' macomere, lovers' dick is totally delusional...but then again, most women are ..
- Maven Huggins lol. i hear you all say that eh, and i have never/can never conceive of that...steups. i eh know i eh know i eh know...one big mystery story dependent on the individual on a case by case basis..
- Aka-Liselle Flaveney Brian yes I did mean That LOL....
- Burton HindsNo Maven...I just find it FUNNY!! No neither relates to our rock..But on our rock i ask 1 question "what you bringing to the table. " and I hope is not your "woman-ness" Women here have that vicious local disease of entitlement. And no Maven, Charlene, Leslie and Renee and all the other women I forgot to mention, NOT ALL WOMEN IN TT suffer that disease. Just many of them...Boi Brian yuh see ah have to add a disclaimer..PRESSURE!!
- Charlene MzMuffin Modeste I can tell you all that,.....regardless of whatever you say,....I have already empirically tested the problem,....and there is a definite cause. As a social scientist, I am a positivist empiricist. I believe in the scientific method. One day,....when ppl are serious about this problem,...I will share the findings beyond UWI. Bless +
- Maven Huggins LOL> on PRESSURE>>
"Local Disease on Entitlement"
Burton, please expound
ALL: Note Ms Renee start this thread and no where to be seen...
- Maven Huggins Renee Cummings. next time you offer me biscuit, i sennen you back for chocolate strawberries eh...
- Maven Huggins look like Brian want to take over from Renee.
Burton, i am on standby with bated breath..."Local Disease...: :Entitlement" pleaseEarl Mango Pierre I agree with Brian 10000% and in d word of GOD the bible 1 Timothy 2 : 8 -15 it clearly states about women I would like to know if the word of GOD is the truth can someone tell me when did all of this changed, and I donot want to hear well the times has changed cause the bible didnot changed, hence d reason there are so many problems with all these successful women who cannot find a good man. lol
- Burton Hinds"Local Disease on Entitlement" We have a society that suffers from it..We entitled to COLA (Cost Of Living Allowance). Is this only arsenine to me? We entitled to a good job and pay, even if we did not do our home work and played all thru our lives. I don't want to work but I am entiltled to your car money and lifestyle so I'll come rub you. I am woman and I am entitled to the man of my dreams. He must make $X, he must drive Y and he must etc etc etc. Cool Mr. Man of your dreams is available, what are you bringing to the table?
- Brian Pouchet Brought this up with the X before she became the X and I guess that's why she is the X
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