jah what to call it?

feel very weird today
like i am literally sitting at the bank of the universal river watching the omniverse float by. I did have a weird night of amazing dreams, different scenes, unconnected dynamics, and perhaps feel all of me did not return in my awakening...part of me is still there, wandering.wondering. floating

Another weird piece, my hesitation to write. here. and wondering where I can write now. One is not sure to get their Facebook record as I have always assured myself I will have and get; i stopped journaling as i used to; daily, multiple times even; and my blog, I now am confused as to content ... proof of my total discombobulation. Where to write? 'Write any damn where' used to be my thought and fk whomever thinks I am writing too much or personally...so what is this new concern?

When I woke up, the day so bright and beautiful I turned, twisted, and decided for an hour , packing as if i was going to the holiday home: my journal, my laptop mini, and my novel with reading glasses. Closed the front gate as I always do when I am in the yard. moved my furniture to accommodate my planting, only to get sweaty with all that turn and twist. So a shower, Then AC. Then sat down with the laptop thinking I needed to put my thoughts down. Never did. Started Browsing.

only now, two hours later, do i start to write. and only to say, my head is brimming from last night, but where to write; having trouble writing today

in the dream, family had to call the police for the sociopsychopath.
it appears we lived in a high rise penthouse, many rooms and offices in this one suite.
people and faces I did not know.
i came home and asked what is going on
consoled the mother which was and is an amazing feat
both our mother could not take that "breaking down" so she left the room
the implication was that usually the truth and trauma of this whole thing is usually not spoken, totally submerged
it was the future implied, but yet, it was right now
I feel more happened in that dream that I recall to say, tell myself or document

in another dream
I sat down to eat, seemingly at an outdoor restaurant
between two men, two big strapping men, more silent than anything
one appeared to be my lover and mate, for whom I relit a cigar, the other just as close a friend/buddy/protector to me and us, was having a stack of meat and seafood in one plate., We all marveled and asked him to lift it..under a steak was a lobster and a huge fish filet
but despite the food, I woke up thinking about those men
i dont see men like that anymore.
i dont have any man like that in my life now
and i remember saying to myself, "men more silent" than anything else
and it is code for so much
code for non whiny talking bitching gossiping men
Men of vim and vigor, stalwart and character
men who are as gentle as you know not to even have a thought to slide wrong
it was interesting

i think i also feel different
like i further am removed from where i was and how i stand and what i am about

and the dreams of projecting, visioning, planning and preparing...that is amusing
not sure what will materialize, if nothing. but grateful for the dance of the thing..the broaching of what is possible. to know the next card will be more again. pass go

the day itself seems odd to me.
quiet, for the most part. sensual in a way that makes no sense

and as I struggle for words another memory from last night this morning pops up
reflecting on Vlad's Sigh and his Moruga exposition...and the focus on the green and someone else saying it is green imbued with sinister...and I remember thinking to myself this morning..how much dark work and nonscience~nonsense the ignorant foment...it is all spirit an.d alter world they conjure up to do a bidding and then those beings are left to roam. we reap the rampage unknown

a desolation of travels...

So i think perhaps, I have had more thoughts on a precipice, traveled to more places that my body could recall at one time, in just a twelve hour time lapse, and now I am sitting with it all, looking and watching to see what time I collect/recollect myself

...a steed galloping the alter worlds...more speed than the experiences can catch up/stay with

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AfterPoint

while i was writing this blogpost, a friend sent me an inbox message

He had told me earlier in the week that "I am a Kabbalist" and "I am connected and dont know it"
So I asked him to write me much about what he indicated
This was his offer/


"Frandy La France

• Hello Maven. Let's see how much I can write in one message. I will start off with Spirituality. It doesn't matter what religion or belief system you are in. The truth will be hidden ,so you have to play hide and seek. The truth will be hidden to those with heavy hearts. But here and there Truth will attempt to reveal herself to those with heavy hearts . So that transformation can begin . Yes I said her as in feminine. Truth is a feminine aspect. Truth is an entity of her own. Truth is love. That is one of the reason mothers are so loved. Kabbalah , is the esoteric truth of what you read in what they called the the holy bible. Moses, Jesus, Muhammad was all Kabbalist. Just to name a few. They all practiced live for your fellow man , just like the Dalai Lama in our current. Time. When you open yourself to love and transformation of yourself. Truth will be there to clear your eyes of the smoke. And you will see things for what. They truly are. Nothing will not be taboo to your mind anymore. You are someone that is spiritually elevated. You just need some tools to crack the lock open. I believe this is from your pass life. You want to go further but , something seems to get in your way. Don't stop ,those are your breakthrough points. The Tree of Life that we all are connected too . We all are one , its are egos that brings us humans pain and suffering and separation. There are many books that give light to the situation. Like the Secret. There are two the one that speak of the outer things you can do to change and then there is the Kabbalah book of the Secret. Which show the spiritual aspect of what wee song and need to do. The have that oneness with the God in you . That is the true essence of all spiritual work . To become one with the mind body and spirit of God. Have a splendid day Maven."
  
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  Fascinating enough, Frandy could be the guy in the dream who was eating the stack of meat and seafood. Totally. I mean, what I am saying, is that i sense it is him. Before the person had no face no color, no determinant other than big and apparent. Now, with this mail and me posting it here. I see Frandy in the dream