On Violence

Sheldon Mendoza:

"Nobody is being taught how to handle Intimate Relationships when they become an Adult, they are just expected to "Do the Right thing" by Society, after being thrown unarmed onto the battlefield...

Every Man and Woman appears to be going through a series of Trial and Error in an effort to understand each other and their roles together.

And anytime either one of the parties mishandle it, they are being chastised and judged for it...Society really expects a Teenager to automatically make a smooth transition into Adulthood while battling with all his/her insecurities and fears and his/her Hormones...Most Parents think its Taboo to discuss Sex with their Children and many have never discussed Infidelity or Adultery but most of all none have been clearly able to explain LOVE.

But when one of the parties decide to lash out at the other in a Violent way or decides to end it all by Murder or Suicide...everyone seems to know what they should have done or could have done....but the only solution that Society really recommends is "Jail for Everyone""

Maven Huggins:

do you realize you write a post with some embedded perspectives, assumptions, given and default? As if it is normal, accepted, logical to "lash out" "in a violent way" "decides to end it all" "by murder and suicide"

there is formal academic language for that -- it escapes me now..but you are putting out for others to read who may not have the tools to screen and analyze what they are reading.

one might well take from your post, those are reasonable, understandable responses and end results.

very interesting!

 Sheldon Mendoza:

"And indeed they are...nothing is unreasonable...there is a reason for everything and one of the reasons why they "lash out" is because of the subject of my status...Violence is part of our "Nature" it is not unreasonable to be Violent...it is unfortunate that after reasoning you think you have no choice but to resort to Violence...I hate to use the word "never" but No Man really just comes home one day and kills his wife and child...he must have gone through a lot of reasoning and had what he thought was a good reason to do this...

We must not continue to make things Taboo and run from including them in our discourse...Many people have used Murder or Suicide as their Solution because it is somewhere in their "reasoning book" or reference points....It is there either genetically, cuturally or otherwise but when they look into their minds for ways to deal with their current situations....these are some of the Solutions that pops up....

Maybe the problem is not that it makes the list but maybe its because its at the forefront....Death is a part of Life....and we live in a world where we are being told that when there was only Four People on the Planet...Cain killed Abel and their was Three...we can't continue to run from our Violent Nature...it is as much a part of us as Peace is...but we must have many more options in Life before choosing Death."

 Maven Huggins: wow. this keeps getting deeper and deeper
now you are validating the behavior of men to be violent, kill, maim and slit the throats of their children and women

got you.

"but No Man really just comes home one day and kills his wife and child...he must have gone through a lot of reasoning and had what he thought was a good reason to do this."

i pause whether to share this story as I feel, one i dont want this to be about me, two i dont like casting pearls, and experiences, who knows how people might receive out of intent.

but two weeks ago I had a person very close to me do me some psychic violence, merely removing and throwing away gifts given to me that i put down in a public part of where i live.

when i went for it and expected to be told it was moved, it is in xyz place...the person said nothing other than yes, i moved it.

i literally got enraged and saw me slamming that person across the bathroom where they were and I stood at the door, of an ensuite bedroom>

I was shocked at myself for the thought. I recognized I was out of my mind to let anyone take me there, and just controlled myself. reel myself back to myself.

when i retell the story after the fact, I remember being quite entitled to my feelings and responses, and was even affronted by the mentality that people think they can agitate and aggravate people and then turn around and tell them they are enraged. bitch i am not psycho, that is a rationale response to madness. but there is a line you do not cross. and harm to others is not a privilege, right or entitlement. and certainly not to people weaker than you.

that mindset is what makes the europeans think they can go to lesser countries bomb, kill and enslave.
that mindset is what has men beating women, and women and men beating children and people thinking they can beat the elderly. and animals.

your language is amazing to me. but, carry on>
i just felt i have been here long enough with you to engage it and put out a call. that is all

Btw, i have written of this experience when it happened.
And you remind me of a post i thought to write today...the total satisfaction one gets from not reacting and responding and lashing out to people you realize are intentionally trying to fuck you up. it is like they want a rise, an engagement and a conversation or argument. they are trying to break you down. the flight and rise from refusing them that is like nothing else, and talk about elevation? being an eagle among pecking chickens. but all of that is a level of owning self, being responsible, respectful regardless of your environment and the demons about you

and what i am saying is your way of writing about this, to the mindless masses is not going to lead to ways of life to deal, before death

But i fully know and recognize I am not in my element eh, nor my people, so carry on. i am the interloper.

Further to that, I wonder if you saw the many posts i have written about violence here in trinidad? where just recently, i acknowledged proof of my suspicion that most men in trinidad have hit or beat up their women...almost all. I learned this from talking to aged men, and I talk about the only thing that changes them is age, the waning of testosterone, and wisdom, when possible, or merely just growing out of patterns for a variety of reasons. I learned this from two of my closest partners.

i even wrote a post about when will women realize this before they get beat down.

but aside from that, have you seen my posts where I would lead and be a sharpshooter and take out a whole bunch of folk. the last i wrote about it was last night and that so called 'benz businessman; who lick up that woman, and caused a multiple car mash up, and left the scene, come back hours after and still fail a breathalyzer, with attorney in tow. folk like that need to be catered for

so you not talking to someone with stripped notions of beingness, but one who at least tries to have a code of justice and to say merely that we are violent and therefore it is acceptable is one of the most backward, barbaric and ignorant things possible. but i also write a lot about chaos and how we are nothing but lesser animals, Animals, have more value systems than we do, and they never ever rationalize them away for their own excuses or interests.

we are so far away from spirit life it is not funny. we are more base than basic/ stripped of everything...i am at a loss as to describe what that is, it is beyond darkness...

 Sheldon Mendoza:

"I think most times people are afraid to admit their reality but you can admit to your reality without committing to it...just like I said Society really recommend Jail as the only Solution...as if they don't have any other way to treat with people who made mistakes than to call them a Criminal....and Jail them....

I am not saying Jail is not one of the solutions in their reference box but should it be at the forefront??? Most people react emotionally after anything happens...its always Hang them High or Jail them for Life...its never "Rehabilitate" them or Forgive them...because they have Violence at the top of their reference point list too....

So lets start addressing our Social Ills holistically and stop hiding behind whats "Formal" and whats not....if people can't read between the lines that simply means...We still have a lot more Educating to do."Maven Huggins:   

and that is my point...did your post and language lead to educating...only after this exchange do you get close to something and still dont say it... people need to be taught how to one, sit with themselves and their pain, turmoil and anger, ; two, learn how to do that without lashing out and in violence; three...people need to be taught how to stop reacting emotionally. and there it is. That last part, but it does not stand alone. there are many other steps before that, and many other steps after...and all for the value and belief system -- that all have a right to life, safety, security and undeniable existence without the imposition of another, either psychically, emotionally, mentally or physically; no violence of any kind

Sheldon Mendoza:

"Maven Huggins, the problem here is less in what I write and more in how you see it...and not because you didn't see what I meant but because you "assumed" others wouldn't...and therefore although you could read between the lines...everyone is not at bright as you...However let me continue being real and admitting what the reality is...I am in no way defending any man who beats or kills him woman or child...I am acknowledging it being part of our reality and making a statement that it is as a result of "Cause and Effect" ...I am not saying its justified I am just saying there is a reason for it...Now if you want to go deep then look deeper into my status....Nobody is trained how to deal with these situations...it is a series of TRIAL and ERROR.....and like you said....even you had the "Thought" ,...but you won the fight with yourself....Everyone is not so victorious...so we must address this by making mention of the "Reasons" for it happening...which again I think is either Education or Miseducation or a Lack of Education."

Maven Huggins:

thanks for that clarification.

though by the end it was not needed

but and not to continue this thread...the other thing that I seized upon in the original post... LOVE>

people do not know what love is. all that they utter it is not "clearly able to explain love"

a lot of times all this violence exists because we have been born, raised , trained and programmed out of love

we have no , zero zilch idea on what love is. real or imagined,

we only have fairytales, projections and a range of more violence, passive aggression, treachery , destabilization and co-dependency ..and those things are what we call love.

Maven Huggins local tv content

Sheldon Mendoza:  I agree

 

Maven Huggins woo sah