Women Telling Stories

something very complicated and complex.

for the second time i am seeing bbc hardtalk since 12 midnight..

and for the first time ever, i see two black women being interviewed

where as for all the years i have watched this show, it has only been one person. why these two

then, they are very shocking looking. both with heavy curly massive weaves, one more than the other. one looks quite frankly fierce if not scary, even for me. there is something discomfiting about these women and it is surprising to me, I never felt this looking at black women. then i am not sure if hardtalk put them together in tandem or to oppose and fight each other. Neither their appearance nor their topic makes me want to listen any more. One of them I am familiar with , she speaks in favor of female mutilation as part of a cultural framework, not as abuse, patriarchy included i think. even now i do not put the volume up to hear them. I am still wondering why their appearance strikes me so.

then, do you ever wake up and wonder ;...

seems like i was having some kind of meta dream: Me dreaming of myself as another person, so me occurs twice, and i am now left wondering was the take away true or part of a dream illusion?

but it seemed as if my dreams, are all of one person, my alter ego, heroine, and all her adventures are the same as mine, she is trying to figure out the same things, for me, on my behalf, for her, and the mirror is so strong. as to be identical. i even listed the four or five areas she works on, but now elude me. on some level the interlude gave and taught me some distance, like projections and halograms, my life and its experiences are not mine. they are not personal. while i am deeply represented, i am also totally detached.

i am sitting here scanning my brain to pull up and clarify what i dreamt and what came to me. and the one thing is that i told myself 'see, i am doing movies, that whole dream and process could me content for a film, or tv series, or a book, and is that not what i been writing and working on since 2004, Ant Bites.

i dont know.

i do know, i ended up thinking of a wish list and in the dream and in real life I told myself to document the list

like do they make birkin bags in multicolors? i doubt, but to make one for me signature: a minicooper clubman, in that signature burgundy, a range rover defender luxe, i designed a watch late last night and i am anxious to put a prototype together.

i also want studios. lots and many of them.

if i could give people their working lives back wont they be willing to invest their money in a new type of union, one that has never existed before? an owner worker operator, then makes them venture capitalists? I fund myself , which saves them, which changes the world. and the latter dont even have to happen, we can just exist in our small sphere, just as we do now, but without the exploitation

what of life is not a dream