Monday, June 13, 2016

"Gala Event"

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"Would you be able to donate your time and talent to our upcoming Emancipation Gala event please? We, SOSTT, would love to have you as our guest speaker. You can speak on the things you mentioned higher up in this thread. I feel it is meaningful and poignant and could be inspirational. If you agree I will email further details."

me:
[what is the date?
and time?
and do be specific, I can scroll above and focus on something other than you intend. Give me items and subjects, missions and ideas so I can be clear. or what ever else was not/ is not mentioned above so i can see...will respond when that is clear. Thanks]

"Friday 22nd July 2016 @8pm, Skiffle Bunch Pan Theatre on Coffee St, San Fernando
Above where you mentioned if invited to speak, you would talk about your unrealised dreams, lack of help from family and others etc. Just scroll up"

me:
[about donating time...do your group not pay dues? can you not take up an offering.
you are in south, right?
I have no car, so will need to pay for transport... to get me there and back.
a serious talk at a pan yard? seems out of sync , no?
8pm is also late? what is the program do you have that to share?
see. i am glad i asked. I never would have focused on that. i thought i was talking on business ideas.
in my mindset now, I see no relevance on talking on that, what is the benefit of talking about that subject?? and in a pan yard. lol? seems off to me.
thanks for coming back to me Onika, but we need to work this. I cant show up playing fool. gotta be on point
time changes relevance, and people make shifts, they cant talk about the same things any more. for me to talk about that as a focus takes me back from where i came out. i dont do backwards. forward only]

"OK no problem. It is your own mindset, if you saw the relevance then but not Now, it's fine with me. You could speak on whatever you feel will be of value . The group consists of three ladies myself included and no we don't pay dues. YES a panyard, which is what we could get for free considering our limited resources. Sorry we couldn't get Sapa or Hyatt ballroom for you. I'm a firm believer in making a start and growing from there. Thought an educated woman would unrealised dreams of her own would appreciate. Yip a panyard for a serious talk doesn't seem incongruous to me. Christ taught by a seaside. Anyway considering your transport challenge I will understand..."

me:
[well... your snide comment says it all.
thank you]

"Just responding in kind. Thanks "
=-========================

you all be the judge.
there are a few folks I would tag on here, but i wont. will leave it open.
tell me where I was snide. or if i was just talking to an idiot toting serious issues, unresolved. and knowing nothing beyond how to try to get without offering anything, as well as doing shit, shitty

mind you, please take note of my offering to find an appropriate topic for the audience and the space, but i guess that is too high tech.

but for me, i love when people get rope. and then to observe what they do with that rope, something positive and building, learning, constructive, expanding, or if to hang themselves.

sapa and hyatt the ___ say you know
meanwhile, a few of you on here will know that you asked and had me speak at just those places, and all times for free.

But you see when folk start with the donate...do they go to market and ask for donations? but what gets me is when such requests come without context, conversations, or even a fraudulent attempt to indicate to you, I know you will have to put out for this but lets see what we can do.
it is often not what you do you know, but how. and well...
when you show your ugly easily, and effortlessly, i know it was all an instruction.

it have flowers growing by the labasse?
"an educated woman like me"

i have already said too much; but all yuh,you tell me..


 ===============part two

non-alignment and incongruency
look those words up

energy and vibration
either matches itself or oppose

sense, protocol, and consciousness
either of similar exposures or from diametrically opposed sides

i would never imagine to have and hold, far less spew that level of attempted disrespect to someone I was asking of their time, energy and experience

i hear people talk of hognorant...
this is the second time in a few days a female, who does not know me, try to challenge me to do what my life has been about. one screw loose tried to tell me to go learn trinidad history, then now telling me of an educated woman like me would...

i leave it open cause it is a lot/not one thing but many.
when you bringing content, comportment, and propriety, those foreign to it might very well be undone, outdone. . story of my life.
i wonder if i can still show up and talk about THAT?!!!!

=--------------------part three


something about this strikes me about my recent interaction with the ungraceful...i am presuming I was supposed to be in awe to have been asked to speak. I should have been like most folk in trinidad, elated to have a mic and a podium in front of me?? my ego spinning and gravitating?
hm
not i, this jah, douen. wont even call you sistren at this point.
i not impressed. that dont get me/

"unrequited awe"?
maybe

insecurity is a hell of a thing too eh..
if you feel ahow about where you are at and how you operating, you will find and take insult when none is intentioned.

also teaches you how people see their landscape
girl thinks something is wrong with a pan yard, me who played pan with renegades, who lime on the streets and anywhere. think there are places where "better people" are found/ no honey. not so. content is inside, not in presentations, impropriety or empty accolades, wrong topics, mismatched programming, etc. etc.

[Leah Marville on Twitter: "unrequited awe"]

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by her own accord:

"
Pet peeves = When people could give but can't take and folks with no sense of humor who get unduly pressed about miniscule shit! NOT TODAAAYY!! *yankee spranger voice*"

so i guess i took her and her miniscule shit and outfit, way too serious. got it.
so obvious. so clear.

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