Olympians of Our Own (Events)

there are so many great Caribbean stories at the Olympics this Rio 2016. And no one is covering it. A show would have been possible highlighting all the Caribbean Olympians, telling their stories. So many of them are first appearing for their countries. So many did not and will not make medals, but the story makes their appearance there all the more valiant. There are so many things we as a people could be doing, and among so many islands none of us are doing any of it. bereft we are. i find it so unbelievably pitiful and pathetic

Asange from Haiti made me realize that. reminded me of another young man from Suriname, a mere twenty one years old yet full of comportment.

------

Then i wake up and switch on the tv, see some commercial, dont know for what, I was just taken with the shiny white images of the people. pristine, in light glare resistant expensive glasses, and crispy shirts, and it just reminded me of my former life, mainly in michigan. and reminded me of the lives we led in michigan, how it was my hey day heights, and i thought i was just getting started, but that was the end. then i thought of how others thought they too were in a life, and perhaps going to take off, but only put putted, the engine stuttering, and plummeting. twice, and now a third time, but this time it taking long. no longer in money to fix windshields, windows in cars, to organize a house in a matter of days, after you failed to do so for a month despite talks and promises and lies. and my life just to live, nothing spectacular., sans so much; the glasses I need, medicals I have not had in years, sneakers to exercise in if i chose to do that,

and life has changed so much< i dont see much rise from this downslide we are living in our separate lives, cause of our ages at this time and when opportunities come round again, they might be for others far younger. it is indeed an interesting time

listening in the news yesterday of energy companies "struggling to pay their bills" because of the downturn in energy prices to $48US$ a barrel, and i thought well what were you doing in the hey day of high prices. I have no sympathy. if it is one thing to teach your children is how to manage money, not for what you have but for conditions you dont see, so you shall always have. and not to take any debt unless you have mapped out to the very end and last payment how you will manage it stress free. without that, dont do it..

but the very thing i am saying not to do is the very way the world spins

i also realize trinidad had made me coarse, aggressive and with even more attitude. it is not a place where refinement survives.

morning thoughts.

last night on my way home i looked up at the moon, smelled the frangipani scenting the night, and remembered the last time I walked the full moon in trinidad, I thought it would be my last one for a long while. not knowing i was journeying along with its hide, just like it and me in my life, so much was to be revealed by the next time, yesterday, it appeared.

good morning

Channels Open/ Opening/ Opened.

Ruth Melise and Olu

I wake up this morning feeling the doldrums

reeling from my previous arrogance to be freed of a godforsaken spiteful place, but having to return to just that place. as if it is written somewhere that i am to save it, that i am to plant something here. that i am to take something still buried here, as if this place still has grand things for me. the grand and great that everybody reports seeing but none can tell me where to look, how to get it. that place.

what to do now what are the next steps. and now to contrive that having sworn off everything i have done and been, environments and locales.

but before i can settle into wakefulness

and before i could use or clear my voice, drink tea or coffee

i get a call

tribeswoman

calling to put a date in my ear

calling to send me messages and remind me of things i know and have learned: " That every one should have their own song" and that most folk, certainly not me, "dont feel enough" i actually feel entirely too much, too deeply. Then the recognition that it is Oshun moving, teaching, carrying, reminding. That i would be called to be availed of such, it is here telling me to keep the sun up. keep the flow going women of water. bearers. and did i not use that metaphor when I pondered of conjuring the what next...saying nothing my materialize, but how to keep the flow on. water.. I need to be around water. Perhaps that is why i am stuck here. I need to be on a small island surrounded by water, and still i am not close enough. I got to get thee hence, to the ocean's edge the river's mouth.

so the conversation ends with plans of gathering.the mutual upliftment of messages. only for me to see an inbox message waiting for me.

Tribeswoman

one that emerges the more that I write?

And as I pondered to day, what next universe, is this the answer here: me and Olu and Treasures. me and Ruth and Singing/Healing, writing songs and prayers specific to and for people and situations, and blessing them with natural handmade reclaimed gifts and spiritual blessings, by Olu>

So i tell product maker that they sent her for me. to keep me shored up. for she keeps making products for me for a life i cannot see, cant seem to reach fast enough, seems lagged and lagging. She keeps making me products that I want to live in and around, though I havent the money to pay her, and cant seem to find the walls to put them up on, or own the chairs for her cushions, or have the windows to hang her curtains woven of fabric, complete with valence. but , they sent her for me. to minister unto me. to prepare for what is coming.

 

 she knew not that i come from a musical family; two are internationally famous, the other to a lesser extent, but still. that i have dreams of being a folksongstress like nina and lauryn. she doesnt know that the likes of Ella considered my poetry and prose for lyrics. And yet, here she is making me quilts of pianos in my national colors

the tide just rose real high
to me: tribeswoman be patient. sit tight. sit longer

https://www.facebook.com/olutosin/posts/10210548285292161

Laventille's LoveUntil Dreams and Development, August 2016 (c) (R)

 my brain should be donated to science for inquiry, exploration and investigation. my whole being, energetic waves and such. but not when I die, while now, i am still alive.

cause things too odd with me

i dream dreams that are solutions, visions, answers. \

and be aware of them while i am still sleeping, slogging sleep not half way in and half way out. and then i remind myself and check in with myself, what am i to remember, while i go on sleeping, dreaming to something else. it does not always happen like that but it did last night

and i came up with another locational vision last night. for laventille. and we would change the name to love until, formally and it was james hackett's graphic that somehow gave me the stamp motto for the idea: the area's total makeover, rebuilding and refurbishing in the old french colonial plantation architecture.

All houses would be rebuilt, all on stilts, so the underneath are gardens, parking spaces and openness. then a floor for houseguests, all homes to run a b&b, rooms and hotels, even if it is just two en suites, or more as four, small hostels. and then on top of that the home floor of the owner.

and the house will have terrets, old fashioned galleries, and wrap arounds, very french quarter, and slat blinds or doors on the outside of french doors and windows as in James Hackett's Old Caribbean Homes Graphic

so we are building up the area, to include trams, and trains, cluster model will be in effect so restaurants, community center cafes and coffee shops. make the whole place wifi and on drone monitoring, and build it as a tourist center for port of spain, community living, a historic site restored.

structure it as part reparations, so we are building people's land and homes for free in exchange that they run a business according to international principles and listings,, taxes they pay go back into the community only, upgrade all the schools. put in a full service health center, preferably at the pinnacle of laventille, love until, to benefit from breezes, views and vistas

there are plenty angles for this to go...in green spots we can have wind turbines, one or a few, to generate electricity, all thee roofs could be installed with solar panels.. i would definitely want some garden plots, the empty lots will be converted to that, and huge fruit and trees planting in every lot.

this came to me while i was asleep

the money generation is two fold. if not more: family, family business, community, and then port of spain, thus the nation.

all employment goes to laventillians/

and the aim is to start building intentional integrated tourism

so companies who are doing ecotourism, would be invited to set up an office and operation in laventille. excursions from laventille, so that can be the trinidad tobago tourism hub and center. could even require every company to locate there. streamline, categorize > golf, chag water sports, dragonboating, sando festivals, tobago great race, tamana caves, toco fisherman's fete, caroni bird sanctuary, asa wright...all bookings , arrangements made from there.

leaving loveuntil port of spain to spend time elsewhere, not without a referral, transport to a sanctioned quality hotel, inclusive or resort.

And so we going, starting...national economic restructuring.

after this: Beetham. but i eh dream about that yet.

And I done have a plan for Moruga for three years now. Food Basket Organic
 

and even while I slept, I wondered who would be the bag person to fund this development, not just to start it but to see it through to its end

if the unions came together, they could fund and invest in this real estate development plan. believe me. they sitting on some serious money. and no chinese coming to build. we are hiring all the internal tradesmen who exist in all our neighborhoods, who hide their talents by walking around like bums. If i show you the lot in my hood, and the work they have done, you would be shocked.

onto another day

----------

 
maven baptiste ‏@montmaven 22s23 seconds ago

@paulpogba : there is much work that can be done. a country sale: social enterprise philanthropy as national development> mmladyh@gmail.com

Dont Be Dicked For Life, Marissa

gosh. i just woke up, having done so once or twice prior this morning. and was coming to write, if you wait this long in life, make sure he is a gentleman and not a cad.

that might be a remainder of conversations I was reading in a group of women about men, and why young people have gotten married in a rash and within two years, all divorced. the writer, an older woman was concerned, scared and pondered why and solicited views to explain. they came from a range: men were always cunts they just hid it after they felt they "bought" the woman in marriage. woman want name, male cheating was the big reason, male incommunication was also named, male behavior, bad male and female behavior, selfishness, pressures; financial, relationship, fantasies. expectations, the perception that marriage is a goal rather than the contract for work that it is, duty, doing the right thing, settling, lack of spirituality and maturity, people failing to be partners, circumstances...endless.

but then i see this post and realize this thing has me so perplexed, even when i was not taking it on, but the rash of comments yesterday and people's responses

is it that they expected dick to get a free pass or a nine day memory, especially when she was going to return to the world stage in time, as on her performance of the olympics? is it that everybody witnessed the debacle and sabotage of an innocent girl, the destruction of an olympic career, the murder of cain by able, so to speak, and really, really expected that we shall never speak of this again? and that all just strikes me as madness/ plain out of mind/ lack of mindedness.

I also wonder is it that these people expected that the sabotage and metaphoric murder happened, even if it was a sports murder, and think that we should move on and dick never pay for her role in the debacle? Never pay for her choice to accept the sullied post that belonged to another? to not answer for her crimes in a plot she played, if for no other reason than for refusing to say no, i shant be a part?

Is it that you all wanted this chick a get out of jail free card?

Really? What the fuck? who the hell are you guys?

Tillah Willah

25 mins ·

"Everyone in this place has been Thema'd at least once. Yesterday they got a bobolee to take out their pain on. Hurt people hurt people."

i get it, hurt people do hurt people/ but is that the issue here?

On a national scale, a whole nation watched a black girl get railroaded by lies and schemes, removals and dastardly deceit. I write now and i see that was my story with sandra batie. so are there crimes for which no one shall pay? somehow? some day?

I find to say this is about hurt people hurting people is too simplistic, absolves dick of all her deeds, and that is what perplexes me. how come.? why? What do we have going on here? is it the same the little white girl syndrome? the feeling bad for the white red riding hood? At the expense cause you know black girls dont matter? who would have sat silently to watch dick get destroyed by a thema if their roles were changed?

I really trying to process this thing in sanity but i swear to you, I see a fkg rat.

since when and why and how this suspension of consequences to your actions? and why have i never seen it before.? and we have not eh. politicians come. they raid, they are watched riding into the sunset. a new set of politicians come, and all they do is bump gums of what the previous did without ever taking action and authority to do so, cause all of a sudden they have no authority to grab and wheel/ it is all a farce. a matter of will, preference, privilege and choice.

i dont know if it is the colonials are just in shock that this lily white girl is getting her ass handed to her by karma, as a public , a global public watches in the time of social media and open commentary, and feeling sorry for massa, all over again.

you gallery revolutionaries kill me. yes

 the fact of the matter, we have not all been thema'd/ trinidad could be renamed to marissa dick. or dick country and no one wold ever pause to wonder why. even to the point of no consequences for any of your dick actions.

so poignant and poetic that it was the unbalanced beam that the truth of her lie and the farce of her fraud 
finally revealed

wrong speedways

was at some outdoor event, like on the grounds of a home development or apartment complex. it seemed americanish but my trini family was there. then there was some tragedy and fire was rolling across the grounds and you had to jump it into the street to get away from it eating you. i was running away with one of my cousins. there seemed to be famous people there from places unknown to me and cameras filming it like news.

anyway, as we retreated to our cars, I got separated, ended up driving my mom's red wingroad with an unknown white lady, i imagined my cousins were either standing waiting at their car, for me or left me.

i wonder who was that white lady? was it my maternal grandmother? what purpose was she serving in the dream? she was mostly silent, but a calm, assured company, reinforcement. i might have panicked was she not there, and somehow ? encouraging me to keep going? keep trying. keep driving. just dont stop i think

And as I drove, i left where that complex was and ended up in some weird, intricate, unknown network of ramps and highways in the city of where ever i was, and it was full of high stones and rocks to separate the neighborhoods,, it was like you being in delaware and you take a turn and find yourself in sanfrancisco with maryland highways, and actually, no where in the world have i see a network of roads, ramps and exits like that. it was really alien and riddlic

and i could make no sense of direction and though i have a great sense of direction, every turn and exit i tried to make turned out to be the opposite of what i expected and took me further away from my desired destination . direction (goal and outcome)> i am now interpreting as i tell the dream..

i guess this was a dream of my recent experiences capstoned but the whole of the last sixteen years.4

i need to stop driving?

I need to stop using family cars?

i need to stop hanging with family?

the place, trinidad, that i keep trying to leave and move away from keeps a hold on me. I cant leave?i\

i am the battered wife of a trinidad husband? except I dont even see trinidad as a male, i dont think. the problem is i dont see it as female either. it is like a douen, perhaps, both and unformed neither/

writing is a fascinating thing and tool.

it really is problem solving

when i thought of the dream i had no clue of meaning

it was in the writing that it emerged

and i keep wondering is cedric really the beast he appeared to be?

kind of astounding

i remember i eluded to that once months before when i likened him to family members' and their deceitful acts...and he talked of "living off of him" . yes. he is that sick. he is just as he appeared and probably way worse. is why an ex would want him destroyed. seems he is doing a great path to accomplish the goal himself.

he and all could have been the fire running the grass that i was jumping over to escape/

the green and greenery ruined, the only safety was concrete and automobiles. odd eh?

bulletsmissed

True Ifa Justice: Osun

can your justice be secured if you do not go to battle for it?

i wake this morning recounting the ways i have played along with others' deceit and my demise, and think it is time I radically stop and put myself on watch and vanguard, and more than that, return to scenes to secure my interests

i hovered over this when i saw it. did not know what to write the first time. wondered whose name to call. wondered what strategy to use, it is not apparent but somehow this write up to me applies and relates to my thoughts this morning, the fighting justice osun, the honey is for the sweet changes, the honey is also for the spanner in another's wheel and motion, the honey is also my offering to success. the honey is the fight

ase' edumare

part two

maybe trinidad wont let me leave cause i have too much to fight for and regain here. i wish jackie was here to read this. she is the one who told me last week to figure out why this place wont let me go or move on?

i think of carl huggins robbing me of the maternal legacy of land.

of him robbing yet another black woman to give to the other, make them/her rich.

i think of those who sought to play and manipulate me for their enrichment, to secure a legacy they had let dwindled to nothing for fifteen years or more, they intentionally watched me and played a game of chess in my innocence, naivete and stupidity

less so, but i think of those, women in my maternal family, who they too try to, in verbal ways, remove me from the legacy of this space as if my blood line is not the same and identical as them and all of us to the woman who was the matriarch here, married to the patriarch. and it is them two i belong to the most, Felix and Maria. is them child I is.

i got a lot to fight for.

and i need to stop running

perhaps that is why i am firmly here

 True Ifa:
August 5, 2016

"You may not have reached the point of where you want to be, but you surely have come a long way! Embrace the warmth of your heart and love yourself for the strength you have and the changes you have made and will continue to make. Connect with Osun and offer sweet liquor to celebrate the sweet changes you have gone through and offer honey to allow what is coming your way to stink around and continue blessing your journey. 

Blessings,
Iyanifa Fakemi Fafolawe"

True Ifa

Yesterday at 5:31am ·

"Have the courage to make the change. Going back to old habits is easy and should be avoided. Use your courage to deal with changes even when it seems impossible to accomplish. Connect with Sango and offer peppercorn. Ask Sango for courage, determination, and confidence so you can tackle the insecurities holding you back and allow you to break free and step into your journey with strength.
Blessings,
Iyanifa Fakemi Fafolawe"

for those who will go to battle on my behalf

[
propitiate
PRONUNCIATION:
(pruh-PISH-ee-ayt)

MEANING:
verb tr.: To gain the favor of someone; to appease.
ETYMOLOGY:
From Latin propitiare (to make favorable, to appease). Ultimately from the Indo-European root pet- (to rush, fly) which also gave us feather, pin, impetus, pinnacle, helicopter, propitious, lepidopterology, peripeteia, petulant, and pteridology. Earliest documented use: 1583.
USAGE:
We seek to propitiate government ministers as if we work for them and not them for us.]

Outlining Your Cons and Red Flags

In four months and exactly two weeks,

I have seen the following:

1.. Wild dreams, delusions, dreams, visions, and fantasies that you engaged, allowed, participated, did not stop, nor caution or insist on any limitations whatsoever. from a life of travel, to a life of free work,  to wild income, to promises of "well taken care of"

2. You say one thing and in some time in the future you will entirely contradict, remove or reverse what was said, offered, or discussed, and no mention or prelude to admit such a change is required or has taken place.

3. Two ex wives. Two divorces. Two failed marriages.

4. One ex wife who expresses in court that she is "sworn to destroy you and states it into public and court records"

5. Two children: sons, who appear to be growing as wild as weeds, and worse yet, to be developmentally challenged. one appearing deaf or hard of hearing the other appearing to be autistic, and you presenting as if this is all news for you; that their behavior patterns are done to annoy you...like when the autistic bangs on the plastic container constantly throughout a face time phone call...

You are clearly an absent and incompetent parent.
Their mother seems also to have washed her hands, be brainless, or checked out
The lot of you, however, together, present a scary picture nonetheless

6. You seem to have zero family life with your boys: no play time, no outings. no sit down meals, no sunday dinners. just no relationship with your boys at all

7. When you told me that you think your boy or boys were possessed

8. The failure of the Academy to be on a planned schedule. The hiring of a failed and scamming project contractor. The use of your money solely for such a huge project. The increased cost of the project from $80K to $200K, as identified by the mall owners who are now willing to fund its completion? Why?  The prospect for you to sharecrop and accept such a debt warrant. Your clear lack of business savvy

9. The endless sky is the limit promises and integrations of Olu, Soap Factory, my cafe, but yet everything and all the signs point to an opposite reality. There is a term for that a mental illness psychological term:

-----

grandiose delusions

i am attempting to write my way out of this latest

and that term comes to me in parts..."grandiosity"

the promises. then i remember there is a mental instability and sickness that uses that term, part of being schizophrenic and bipolar/..these grand schemes that will never happen, could never be, and all the signs proving their converse alternate///and as i continue writing i think i may have gotten catfished of a different kind

the presenting and offering of a scheme that was never possible

#inheritance

-----------------

 10.. Your lack of money to follow through as big as you pretended in the beginning


11. You being more offended and taking personal my cussing but you quite fine with your autistic and developmentally challenged boy children, your two failed marriages, an unkempt house and lack of home life for the three of you. Yeah. skewed much>?

12.Your seeming lack of management skills

13/ You, a black man as a sheriff reserve in Mississippi

14/ Your family of mentally ill history

15. For all your so-called enlightenment, your darkness of misogyny, female dismissal, female backchecking, mansplaining, gross ignorance and willful arrogance in areas I am clearly more knowledgeable

16. Your leaving academia with your PhD

17. Dieing your grey hair

18. Your reneging on your offers twice now

19. Your reneging on your plane ticket, my flight, and postponing my travel two days before I am to leave.

20. You are clearly in a mess in your own life. You tried to act as if You were saving me, could save me but it was all a ruse for me to save you in yours. take care of your boys, your home, create a home life, and stability, and help you generate income as you saw me as a huge money making asset.

21. You being overwhelmingly beyond male as to manicou and acting like a cunt of control so you take your  marbles and my trip ...well done.

Yet, my bar of trust is low. I overlooked all of this in four months and forteen days.

a policeman padna spoke last night
and said he had been to a psychologist/psychiatrist twice.
he said, the first time was mandatory
the second time he was told "he needed someone to talk to"

later on last night in a different conversation, with different people
i was being cautioned about "making mistakes" and i retorted, look how old i am and i have yet to make any big ones.
twenty four hours later...i am amused at my comment and thoughts, the conversations, and their relevancies tonight
seems like the universe just wont let me veer even close to explosions and the unstable.
even if it is dead here, it is stable, right?
(rolls eyes)

-----------------

your word is worth less than dirty toilet paper in a septic tank
and when money spent is no longer a guarantee of anything
you all know we are in a shitstorm of fifth dimensions.
multiple realities running at the same time.

it is indeed a bizarre time in the cosmos
no. what is not healthy is bipolar super sensitive turned inside out/ people thinking they are sane
‪#‎allthatisthediaglogueforthemovieLIFE‬

----------------------


the universe keeps protecting me maybe?
or is it that i am delusional?

===========


when you renege.
when you are vindictive
what else wont you do?
to make people hate you
and swear to your destruction

‪#‎instructionremedial‬
‪#‎divorcedeals‬
you cant go sailing with folk who always want to empty the boat every time there is a swill
the folk most afraid of conflict are the ones who will torch you on a pyre
True talk
Fear is heavier than Heavy
And faster than Gravity
i am gone folk. gone.
and done
someone trini want to remind me what the Canadian Commissioner of Police income package was? why is $50K US or Canadian stuck in my head? and does not include the income monthly for his also canadian deputy that he insisted tag along? If you dont know the whole package value just tell me what he made in per month? And then will someone outline for me the level of negotiations open in national topper employment contract. like Calder Hart who was pulling $one million TT/ month on eight big contract jobs/ all here in Trinidad. all running at the same time. concurrent. from 2007? or before? to when?? 2010? that is what? $300K US. if nothing else, please confirm for me that what they pay foreigners here in the banana is not what they pay and publicize for locals and moreso, what the foreigners get is wildly unrestricted and matched only by their ability to negotiate like champs.
Someone tell me cause I not living here. I havent been here for thirteen years, and I sure as hell dont know what I am talking about. and we are so internet savvy here in the banana republic, where the majority of the public service and population are not on the computer searching information but porn...where too many ignorant people , even right here on the plantation republic, never even heard the term. So tell me, please, someone. about the never ending lengths and distances foreigners can go through when they get contracts here. But hell. nevermind. stay where you are. we have enough crazy here.

--------------------
 the requirement to be smart and wise
keeps growing to levels where neither ladder nor arm reaches

==============

 deep breath.
reminding myself through tears. never be afraid to stand still
never be afraid to run through hard.
never be afraid to retreat.
‪#‎noescape‬
‪#‎sucker‬
‪#‎psyche‬

----------------


such an interesting night
i wrote a long response but made it a blog instead
"Excuse Me, Egg"

earlier i had the insight that I need to write on a level and revelation that itself is new and on a higher demand, even for someone who has been writing since their teen years, and keeping those writings, compiled and curated since 1990. i recognized it is because I know things most people at my locus standi do not, and the people who do know what i speak of and about, came by the exposure, knowledge and capacity by a different means- usually by entitlement, privilege and generational legacy, multiple generations. and so the things I tell folk they disbelieve cause it is so far out of their galaxy. so I need to write about that. cause I cant keep wasting breath explaining it. I cant keep fighting dead people, or validating my view to ignorance.
then, now
it seems quite a few people around me knew and saw long before i did. they said things like, "i want to see it happen" or, " you not ..."
only for them to be proven right, two days prior...quite fascinating
but all i think, this must be for something. and how much stronger does the universe want me to be, only to keep being told how strong i am by monikers of chip on shoulders, crazy, vitriol, cause i be man (just like) more than the manicous.
i find it fascinating
it is bizarre actually
the five dimensional keeps finding ways to set me apart from these mere
you know the sad thing about strong people?
they often deny the level trauma, and tragedy they are experiencing..telling themselves, dont stoop to that level of brokenness and emotion, stay up... stay up
"you are gonna be so well taken care of that I am going to take this rug and rung from under your feet/ my offer to rescind, says the beautiful ones born all over
i told myself I should be laughing
instead, i stayed silent.
in the soap factory of my rinsing
‪#‎poetryprosepost‬

==============


never bet on people or life.

------------

I was going to mention this for a different reason, but I'm saying it in general now. We need to push back your departure/arrival date. I need to get the Academy up and running without distraction. You mentioned it a time or two and I said no...come on. But coming with conflict is not going to work.

Email me the info I sent you on your ticket. I am pretty sure I purchased insurance that would allow for a change of flight date prior to travel. If not, I will think of something...but this is coming too soon; mall management wants me to make myself available over the next three weeks as they complete the project. I was not expecting to basically be required to be on-site...sort of a second project manager.

Now I have to get secondary arrangements for child care setup for my boys with my sitter.

Then just today, I get notice from my apartment complex manager that they have my lease being up earlier than I calculated.

They used an earlier date, even though they waited to send me renewal papers and I have a signature for a signing last year at end of September. They are saying it was an error on their part and was not the date I renewed any other year and not the date I originally started here (which is true).

So...I have to start packing earlier than I planned in order to be out of here at end of August instead of end of September. I'll try and get some friends to help, but it's still gonna be tough since now the Academy is set to open around the same time they are saying my lease will be up.

Finally, it seems like some days we are totally in sync....then BAM!!! we are on opposite planets. That's not healthy.

....am I missing something?? Like what was all the "Banana Republic" vitriol all about??

I really don't know what I said to provoke those comments from you...

Chat Conversation End==============

me referring to my trinidad as a banana republic and out of his knowledge is not only problematic.

but vitriol. these people not sick in joke you know.

what can you do with fragile people who think everything revolves around them?

--------------------EDIT-----------------

when you choose to do a faith walk

After you have given up on such things.

you were straight bricks and mortar.

but you realize you can get bricks and mortar

and that can be taken away or disintegrate

i suspect i am learning that no matter the bar,

even though most keep theirs to the ground

any and all can and might in fact disintegrate

but when you have a mission, and one so big and imposing as

:"in search of your own life"

you realize bullshit aint an option

you barrelling through as an alchemist, a magician,

maybe even as a circus clown

but you weaving straw, in search of gold

and you will call all the names and goddesses that you must

be they kali, oshun, oya, yemaya.

and let everything falls where it may

those things aint your business.