yesterday, monday, november 18, 2013
i woke up with clear remembrances of a dream i was having, or had...
it was peculiar because while i was dreaming it is as if i was also telling myself, instructing, this is what you are to do. this is not merely a dream, this is a path to walk, deed to do...
in the dream, and i dont remember what i was dreaming before this scene, or if the dream started at just that moment///but ... a big clump and mass of locks came off in my hands , when my head and hair is not now in locks, but it is au naturel to the ultimate meaning i neither comb, brush or reconstruct my hair-- as a result, it is just a mass or afro of micro individual ringlets, that stretch out to long when pulled, but mere inches, four, five, when left alone...
and in this dream, i had/held in my left hand a mass of dreadlocks, thick, and as if shaven from a natty bongo head, so all the handheld is not all locks, but the tufts from pre-locks and some short, and the lawn from where such locks would grow and emerge -- so what showed in my hand is more than what should be in my head or hands...
and in the dream it made me realize, it is time for me to lock, to grow dreadlocks, is what i woke up thinking was the message= ---
in the dream, I am sitting in the bathroom, my same yellow bathroom and evidently there were seats in there for lounging, on either side of the white antique table...i on one side, my mother on the other, and i told my mother and asked her to set the locks for me - in the dream! and while doing so i somehow thought that is just what i am supposed to do in real life, and immediately understood the spirituality of that: of the locks, of my mother setting them, maybe even as to the way the dream told me to do the locks, rolls in my hands, locking what is my ringlets-- all in the dream.
and I wondered when dreams like this happen, is it the news that spurred the depictions? because in the news this weekend is some footballer who his opponent pulled a clump of locks out of his head in a game...i saw the pic.
but truth be told, my hair ends lock all the time -daily, as normal and i am always pulling them out, which has resulted in my hair very uneven and prepped to lock even easier and more.. i wonder if it is just fancy emulation of real world or time for me to lock it in
and that is what i wrote yesterday...
but during the day, with it being a monday that lucille, the housecleaner and ironer attends, I told her about it, and she immediately told me to do the dream as it instructed...that to ask marjorie to do my hair, and that it would be an undoing of what ever has a lock on my life.. and that it was a spiritual healing happening, me being unlocked, and she being in my hair and head would cultivate a different dispensation, compassion, even? but it would be the change the completion.
so i told marjorie about it, and her response was there are other people who do it. and proceeded to tell me what she did when she was trying to manager her locks, decades ago and all the people roslyn sent her to/ totally oblivious to the opportunity. i did not push or insist, i just listened. i am not sure what i resolved in the moment, but during the day, Lucille spoke to me more and further about it, as if the hours clarified for her the power of the dream and the instruction and the liberation that would emerge if it were to be done...and there was a moment later on in the day that i watched my mother, marjorie and as she walked away i imagined: so that is what she has for me: my healing, my release, my saving..despite it all, inspite of herself and it all, and her character--
for this morning after scrubbing the bathroom yesterday she asks me of a rubber mat that was in there, gathering and growing mold from filth left in its crevices, but it was unable to move from its hook which fell and locked into a close, so i pried it out and soaked and scrubbed with bleach, still in a bowl in the shower stall. she did not see it but wakes this morning to ask me about it and i could see and tell her intention-- the whole move something that belongs to mona or them; from a pose of i should not be moving anything of theirs, and i immediately reacted to why is she asking me of something that was there, being problematic but no one was using, so it shows up how you are just asking me as a challenge, a correction, a pull up, and i let her know.. she did not even know the thing could not be removed and would have tried to act and did try to act like 'how do i know it was not being used" and that is the character i speak about..
i dont remember the bridges but right before i started writing, the thought i had, the quiet thought was 'she is not a friend' and then to think that i asked well what is she? and enemy? but think about it, what would be more powerful that if you got an enemy to do something that is the act and path of your transcendence, liberation, escape? what if you could get your enemy to give their energy, intention and love of some sort-- what is love-- some act to a greater aim"
-------i stopped to write this fb post--------
writing on my blog about the dream from yesterday and i just stumbled onto something, or really, it bubbled out of me and my fingers on the keyboard:
what is love really? "some act or thought that leads to great aim, elevation or greater advancement; some transcendence; something that makes you strong. something that makes you successful (not material definitions; but everything esteem, self, internal) that you do for yourself or another"
Boom.
Does it get better? have i broken the code?
lol
a definition of love
i wont write, the definition
-------------------
i await to see how this episode plays out
but i was elated, quietly to hear Lucille say that my healing is being unfolded!!!
i woke up with clear remembrances of a dream i was having, or had...
it was peculiar because while i was dreaming it is as if i was also telling myself, instructing, this is what you are to do. this is not merely a dream, this is a path to walk, deed to do...
in the dream, and i dont remember what i was dreaming before this scene, or if the dream started at just that moment///but ... a big clump and mass of locks came off in my hands , when my head and hair is not now in locks, but it is au naturel to the ultimate meaning i neither comb, brush or reconstruct my hair-- as a result, it is just a mass or afro of micro individual ringlets, that stretch out to long when pulled, but mere inches, four, five, when left alone...
and in this dream, i had/held in my left hand a mass of dreadlocks, thick, and as if shaven from a natty bongo head, so all the handheld is not all locks, but the tufts from pre-locks and some short, and the lawn from where such locks would grow and emerge -- so what showed in my hand is more than what should be in my head or hands...
and in the dream it made me realize, it is time for me to lock, to grow dreadlocks, is what i woke up thinking was the message= ---
in the dream, I am sitting in the bathroom, my same yellow bathroom and evidently there were seats in there for lounging, on either side of the white antique table...i on one side, my mother on the other, and i told my mother and asked her to set the locks for me - in the dream! and while doing so i somehow thought that is just what i am supposed to do in real life, and immediately understood the spirituality of that: of the locks, of my mother setting them, maybe even as to the way the dream told me to do the locks, rolls in my hands, locking what is my ringlets-- all in the dream.
and I wondered when dreams like this happen, is it the news that spurred the depictions? because in the news this weekend is some footballer who his opponent pulled a clump of locks out of his head in a game...i saw the pic.
but truth be told, my hair ends lock all the time -daily, as normal and i am always pulling them out, which has resulted in my hair very uneven and prepped to lock even easier and more.. i wonder if it is just fancy emulation of real world or time for me to lock it in
and that is what i wrote yesterday...
but during the day, with it being a monday that lucille, the housecleaner and ironer attends, I told her about it, and she immediately told me to do the dream as it instructed...that to ask marjorie to do my hair, and that it would be an undoing of what ever has a lock on my life.. and that it was a spiritual healing happening, me being unlocked, and she being in my hair and head would cultivate a different dispensation, compassion, even? but it would be the change the completion.
so i told marjorie about it, and her response was there are other people who do it. and proceeded to tell me what she did when she was trying to manager her locks, decades ago and all the people roslyn sent her to/ totally oblivious to the opportunity. i did not push or insist, i just listened. i am not sure what i resolved in the moment, but during the day, Lucille spoke to me more and further about it, as if the hours clarified for her the power of the dream and the instruction and the liberation that would emerge if it were to be done...and there was a moment later on in the day that i watched my mother, marjorie and as she walked away i imagined: so that is what she has for me: my healing, my release, my saving..despite it all, inspite of herself and it all, and her character--
for this morning after scrubbing the bathroom yesterday she asks me of a rubber mat that was in there, gathering and growing mold from filth left in its crevices, but it was unable to move from its hook which fell and locked into a close, so i pried it out and soaked and scrubbed with bleach, still in a bowl in the shower stall. she did not see it but wakes this morning to ask me about it and i could see and tell her intention-- the whole move something that belongs to mona or them; from a pose of i should not be moving anything of theirs, and i immediately reacted to why is she asking me of something that was there, being problematic but no one was using, so it shows up how you are just asking me as a challenge, a correction, a pull up, and i let her know.. she did not even know the thing could not be removed and would have tried to act and did try to act like 'how do i know it was not being used" and that is the character i speak about..
i dont remember the bridges but right before i started writing, the thought i had, the quiet thought was 'she is not a friend' and then to think that i asked well what is she? and enemy? but think about it, what would be more powerful that if you got an enemy to do something that is the act and path of your transcendence, liberation, escape? what if you could get your enemy to give their energy, intention and love of some sort-- what is love-- some act to a greater aim"
-------i stopped to write this fb post--------
writing on my blog about the dream from yesterday and i just stumbled onto something, or really, it bubbled out of me and my fingers on the keyboard:
what is love really? "some act or thought that leads to great aim, elevation or greater advancement; some transcendence; something that makes you strong. something that makes you successful (not material definitions; but everything esteem, self, internal) that you do for yourself or another"
Boom.
Does it get better? have i broken the code?
lol
a definition of love
i wont write, the definition
-------------------
i await to see how this episode plays out
but i was elated, quietly to hear Lucille say that my healing is being unfolded!!!
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