goddess chronicles
warrior defenses
despite my best intentions and attempts to be all love embrace, peace and compassion. beasts and bitches always think they can come at me.
then i have no choice to be all ogun and shango on their ass.
i had to check my best friend's sister tonight
grown ass woman ten years or more my elder
but this rounds, i am no respecter of persons
especially if you have no class, want to be out of place rude and obnoxious.
she did it the first time when it was just me and her at the table
asking me "do i drink anything else"
i said, i drink everything; vodka, whisky, but my drink is brandy
her response was "you must have rich friends"
i said, my friends know what i drink and they accommodate me to my taste and preference , as we all do when we drinking, eating or imbibing.
she find i shouldnt be drinking brandy
i guess she think i am supposed to be poor so what?
these bitches eh make me out
so after the first time I tell her brother of the conversation
i am sure he thought i was being finicky wrong and particular.
so he asks me to get him his laurel
I go order it and that was it, nothing else.
his girlfriend was at the bar,
she says to me: " that is it, that is all/ no brandy?"
i said, "are you buying me a brandy miss lady?"
she said sure, I wish i could buy you a house.
and i told her that was sweet of her.
some make me out. the ones who were once my enemy, interestingly enough
well wouldnt you know sister shows up at the time that the brandy is brought to me and want to tell me about money and ordering
so when we get back to the table, i insist on wife telling the story, that she invited, bought and requested it for me. so we get into it.
I told that bitch where to get off
she telling me I dont want to tackle her
I said then dont tackle me.
this rounds. the shit i been through
i have zero tolerance.
why am i writing this?
there is an attitude of poverty that pervades this place
i see it everywhere
family , and relatives
and i find it peculiar now cause folk at the bars not taking those horrors.
it was also a matter of someone interjecting themselves not knowing facts and context. when I am out with friends and i am offered a drink and i am not buying, i will always ask, "what can i have" that classless belch dont even know
people think people eat too much
drink too much
and it is from a life of lack, selfishness, and poverty
they unaccustomed
what is pedestrian to me, is special to these wenches
and it is down the line:
my car, my tastes, the food i eat, the alcohol i drink...
i had to break it down.
with nothing i make an emporium
with entrails I make a feast
and entrails to me is cheese, cold cuts, anything basic.
i served bottled rumpunch to my mother and her friend auntie josephine
and cut up and seeded purple grapes and portugals in it, with toothpicks.
i cook; i cook for somebody or a few people to eat after me
i have made dishes and my mother will tell me, I using too much tomatoes
it is a meagreness that flabbergasts me
makes me wonder what i dont know
makes me think to take pause
people have the accoutrements of style, grace and access, like this big macco house my mother built, but is like they still chinksing on food. the quality, the kind, who eat, how much. i have been called on me drinking big jars of juice, my real scavenging aunt not knowing i does drink flavored water. she assume it is juice and it is just colored, flavored water. she eh know yet. i never answered her. i was just recording
i did not grow like that in carl huggins house
i also go pulled up and bouffed by him early in life
when i teased my male mack truck football playing in william and mary football cousin about eating plenty at thanksgiving one year as a teenager, and my father said, never mind what people eating and have no comment.
poor ass fucking common slaves. i have no idea why i chose, and they sent me to be among the commoners.
good thing i decided to speak out after the first comment
i ended up telling my male friend. you know. as much as I dont have right now, people who have more than me are poorer than I . he asked me to explain.
i tried to be delicate so as not to offend his sensibilities with his sister. i had occassion to tell him that they frauds a few weeks ago. a network of big people: carlos john, defour from ngc, and lord knows who else and none of them could set a table of employment before me. with my qualifications to justify.. i said i do what my tastes and preferences no matter my circumstance. if i cant make, i stay home, he pushed me to explain furhter. and i told him, people who think they know your circumstance and station will try to tell you to take a back seat, not knowing you accustomed to owning the damn fucking bus. they think you get the best because someone else buying not knowing your ass pours that for lunch or early dinner at 2pm. I was drinking grapefruit juice and peel/peele/pele whisky at 3 and 5pm today.
and his sister and i in the same situation. except she is fatter and older.
you return to trinidad and you living in your mother's house. i have excuses what is yours? then the heifer had nerve to reference lazy people. i go to answer her and my friend tell me like i gearing up again. i was like yes. i was getting ready to rail on her ass.
but i made me and my position crystal clear
she ended up shutting the fuck up and backed down, and a few steps back
my friend;s ladyfriend even told her she was being rude. my male friend raised opposition. people think they somebody of stock but folk will show you they from the stockade
i told her you did not invite me nor did you offer me a drink , if you have an issue, speak to your brother, dont step to me.. i keeps brandy. in my purse!
smh. i try to hang up the warrior shield and sword but mfers make you slit it out.
leaving now, my friend;s girlfriend told me, "well i congratulate you for standing up for yourself. they dont know. had that woman not been the relative of my peeps, I would have gone in! slashed her bloody
i must admit i feel good too for standing up for myself.
i didnt always do that
but sometimes petra does pay for paul's shit
and folk does want to step to people when you dont know the path they walked and survived to be sitting in front of you. then for some reasons these wenches have a perception of me as a pushover, then i have to get bear bull on their ass.
imagine that bitch will refer me as lazy.
what she did with her life being an admin asst to retirement.
steups. look
y;all be gracious and kind eh/
even and especially among slaves
this is why i said, when i get back to my station, I will have an open house for people to eat and drink. let them know what being welcome really is.
there shall be no want, wanting or lack
on the flip side, this is why i bitch, i am an empress among the court.
and either I have to become a commoner, or i need to take the riches to the bottom
so far, i have not chosen the former. i am not yet able to the latter
so i normally stay in this rounds.
how entirely different my life and path has been
and the only witness i had was my brother and he is dead.
my birth mother too
my father has become a commoner/
he no longer lives according to what he exposed us to
this is part of a way larger story
that did not start with me
i think though I took it to a height
reincarnations and ancient old priestesses and all
you know, toilet paper. so think, quilted and lush that you only use two squares..
and as i close more references pop up...like cheese.
here where we are, cheese is almost a luxury item...so what
that all basic and cheap and unhealthiest of foods, becomes a luxury
i realize. we dealing straight up economics here
and level of existence, abilities and living
\
folk have withheld food from me. where i live
and i been eating better more luxurious , and getting fatter than ever.
how to explain that i am not sure.
i was asked tonight if i could teach art to young children, i said sure
but i think i need to teach people how to live
decades now i saying that.
long before i came to trinidad
i know how to love on myself.
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