Mad Men of Trinidad

 Photo:Pic Art: Frank Buchser (1829 - 1890 ) ilnegro.jpg

the sad dysfunctional behavior that we see with other people and may think it is cute and funny, or see in grown big muscled men and make a joke and say "he a little boy eh" is not. it is fact a sign and proof of some serious dysfunctional asocial behavior. some inability to come somewhere, some how.

psychology is an amazing thing to learn, I wonder about psychologists and psychologists and how they function in the world/ if they are walking around and effortlessly 'reading' and diagnosing everybody.

i thought of that though cause my first eye opening thought went back to this guy i once dated in my neighborhood, and we got into a conflict, may have even been the time we broke up and he stopped speaking to my mother. how i know, my mother came home and asked me if something wrong, she say him and did not say hi. now. this was long before I understood that there was a specie to beware of, long before i knew the term mitchmen, and long before I learned these males are fucked up, but hear the thing, in the literal short two months or so that merely consisted of beaches, meals, one party, one house visit each, i learned this very in demand young man, meaning he had ample female friends choosing who to spend time with, he had his own car it was from him i learned for a guy having a car was a major societal thing, a way to get girls and to show out. who knew. i thought they were for getting around and bringing functionality into one's life. but here is the thing i am trying to get at. from watching the news once i landed here, and seeing how apparently unstable men were, i felt as though dating them werent safe at all. I swear. and this guy,like the first guy i mingled with, tells me he battered a woman, his ex in the states, I think in Philly and that is why he is down here. the story came at me in pieces and broken and in code, but i think the man was a deportee, from domestic violence yes. moving around trini good good good.

just in this short passage, read and discern the three huge issues a woman is confronted by just being social here. and tell me if that is not the definition of scary. and everything else good good. the guy was generous with what he had. i have green emerald gold earrings, one side in my locks, is from him. he used to cook and we would eat. and for all intents and purposes. we got along swimmingly.. i cant tell you the rest of the story cause it seems to weird. but i will tell you it was one of the times that make me think i get inhabited sometimes, possessed...there are times i say and do things that afteward I cannot fathom, see or rationalize any way melise would have really done that. and so i know it wasnt me. I think in this case, I would have been a classic statistic: find myself in what i calling a good wonderful relationship, only for one day to be slammed into a different dimension and reality by assuredly, some violence or trip. i felt i was being saved. and perhaps there was way more than I know. that was about five years ago I think. i cant seem to nail down a date. but it has happened again.

two years ago, met another dude that i was crazy for. in my head, somehow, i see he looks a lot like the rapper game, not as tall though. and i dont know what this guy had but he put a spell on me when i first met him. then i realized i was mad crazy for him. experiencing myself in a form and ways i had never been ever in my whole life. it was dangerous, but he too was mad, so those experiences were mostly outside his presence. but this guy was psycho. a literal bipolar schizophrenic. i remember the day I asked him if he thought he was, and he answered me in what was in hindsight an amusing way to recount. he was like, "who dont think so?" everybody says the same thing to me". intimating to me too, all his women, his mother. I never got a chance to discuss with him how his male friends deal and engage with it but that was because of one of his major traits. this guy did not talk, seemingly had a major challenge with communication. he told me. so that is three major issues right there: mental illness, instability, and noncommunication. add to that , this man had a temper from jupiter, that came with all the bells and whistles, shutting down, closing off, coldness. smh. I am tired just thinking about it.

my point in recalling all of this is to tell you the level of deep madness flowing with males here. and I saw it long before i ever came close to one. Not sure how i did, but i saw it, It had me scared and refusing to even engage them. And as and when I did, it is all i have met. my ex himself is a narcissist. an extreme one, a compulsive liar, and a user/manipulator/schemer.. i believe he compensates for being less than mentally smart by being this garrulous life of the party.. It is kind of amusing to think of these men now and to envision them in a line up cause i am asking what do these men say about me. I am not sure. I do know that is a red herring question, cause when you in a barrel, when you stranded on an island, when you in a box with no ladder to get out...how does that explain what you have no control over: the population in the space you currently inhabit?

mayday mayday there is a glitch in the male population. engage at your own risk.

those are the extreme cases as the ones I got involved with.

but i see the same shit with a host of other characters. males who boldfaced lie to you, whether it be deals, business, personal, an attempt to make arrangements. my car is a perfect 'vehicle' for displaying these realities// i cant tell you the range of men, of all kinds, chinese, indian, african, and dougla who have shown up here. displaying different traits for me to call in this write up.

the same dishonesty, mad unexplainable behavior, like francis taking the remotes to fix, to return the next day at 12noon to investigate the car on a sale, and that was two weeks ago, maybe three. and he never showed up, and has not returned with my remotes. where in the world does this occur?

what creatures am I writing about? how to explain this to myself? or anybody for that matter.

the other aspect or just rank dishonesty and lies, and fragility, men making promises that for the slightest moment you do something they dont want, they cut off. grown ass old business man has the only independent solely own gas company in trinidad, offered to fix the car and we sell it, at the meeting we had to discuss, we return to my neighborhood, we go searching for our mutual friend, I decided to ride home with the latter, so the former can just take the highway in the opposite direction. havent heard from the rat since.

i think it fair to state that we can now enter in the dictionary the creature and entity called male bitches, with further reduced character understanding to come.

why this morning i wake up thinking about them i have no idea. might have something to do with seeing a muscled police officer, no doubt running and have his full of optioned women, yank a woman six to nine feet? into a wall at her head, by her hair, then doing the same thing to another woman fighting on the ground. there was a time, in my delusion, where men would never do such a thing: be so brutal to females./

Have no idea how this seize me this morning:
Curtis, Mark and Chase, LLC
Mad Men of Trinidad is not a tv show

I dont want to be mad too dealing with these species