Mamaguy

 

 

 

so something akin to this is what woke me up this morning.

i was thinking how unsophisticated trinis are, even the so called polished, professional and high highfalutin ones. the language they use and choose in their talk tells so much. tells their intention, their truth, no matter what the farce of an act pretends. and they do put on so many pretenses. i was thinking, is there such a thing as a fb inbox drive by, where someone decides to write you, to make a point to show you that you are being sidelined, all the while asking for your particulars, and presenting as if they are finally following through on a previously booked dance/ but ever since that day I thought to myself, this person not slick, your language is unbecoming, and not one any sane person would use should their intention be of the lofty side. i keep saying if you listen carefully and in stillness, everything shall be revealed. even from good talkers.

this further takes me down the path to something i have been hearing from a hater for a few years, "emotional intelligence" and i wonder if the latter is not reading people accurately. seeing all their undertow, their true character, their half hearted attempts, their empty rooms of gifted doors, or the withholding of one hand with the giving of the other. and acting accordingly, you do. not in pretense, not in fakery, not in denial or delusion.

i come back to something in this culture that i was made to experience very viscerally in 2004 or so : the practice of mamaguy. all of this is, in different dimensions and variations. it was a non native who indicated and taught me. she revealed how she had been brought to trinidad, regaled and presented all over as if into a court with a king being introduced to all the lords. and when it seemed like her idea was going to successful, her hosts stole her idea. then here i come about four years later i think with the same or simliar, and she challenging me to tell her where it came from. at a moment, I had to suck in and decide do i dance with this lady or tell her which bus to get under. when i told her my truth, her reply was : "if i had told her anything else, she would not have believed me." but in talking with her to resolve the mindfuck she was given by the political elite of the time, she only remembered the name rahael, i came up with the mamaguy and trini's penchant for it, knowing full well, no matter what fete they lay out for you, they not taking, giving, allowing, sanctioning.

fascinating place this