i love this excerpt. i love the intro by Jill...
i love this. I know this. I see this but somehow, i was made and born without the chip. and it pisses folk off like you would not believe. I am readily called selfish but it is because i am not a doormat to make men and others comfortable and certainly never at my expense.
it has been a long haul of a meditation and comparison; in silent and not so silent ways...with men it makes me /i am called a ball breaker...cause my strength shows up how spineless they are; my competence, their lack. and then they run rather than buck up. cause lets face it who demands that they do? what father or mother demanded that they did when they were growing up? None
Funny too this post at this moment. Just a minute ago I was in the shower and thought how hard it is to be a prostitute and certainly a high class one nowadays: a courtesan...it is so free and given away, even in public, every day, every minute of the day, who is going to pay for it now? and who will pay for the extras when everyone is so crass and base? ..same sentiment...
service. and service without any consideration to the one providing it...to the extent that it be free is the expectation, and free from bother, reciprocity. its deep.
---------------
Jill Lian Goddard:
"In this excerpt of a piece by Marilyn Frye it discusses how a part of the oppression of woman is that we often provide for the service needs of others, especially guys. I have noticed that even when I am not asked, I will fill in the gaps of which services are needed. I will make sure children are taken care of, things flow smoothly, conversation is balanced, etc. It's not that I want to stop being of service to others, it's that I want to keep bringing some examination of this idea about who provides the support. Sometimes I just want to invent something new, or make a new discovery but instead I find myself at the sink or doing the excel spreadsheets, or filling in the financial gaps etc. A constant struggle for me."
from the article:
"'Whether in lower, middle or upper-class home or work situations, women’s service work always includes personal service (the work of maids, butlers, cooks, personal secretaries),* sexual service (including provision for his genital sexual needs and bearing his children, but also including “being nice,” “being attractive for him,” etc.), and ego service (encouragement, support, praise, attention). Women’s service work also is characterized everywhere by the fatal combination of responsibility and powerlessness: we are held responsible and we hold ourselves responsible for good outcomes for men and children in almost every respect though we have in almost no case power adequate to that project. The details of the subjective experience of this servitude are local. They vary with economic class and race and ethnic tradition as well as the personalities of the men in question. So also are the details of the forces which coerce our tolerance of this servitude particular to the different situations in which different women live and work.
(* At higher class levels women may not do all these kinds of work, but are generally still responsible for hiring and supervising those who do it These services are still, in these cases, women’s responsibility.)"
--------------------------------
my friend chippy likes to tell me i am fighting battles already won but he is clueless and has no idea, like racism, gender bias and sexism gets more nuanced, hidden and sophisticated...and increasingly so when colorism and class are included, and even relational dynamics where every man thinks that every woman who wants to hang with him wants him romantically or sexually. some of us are just boys trying to hang./aint nobody interested in your (include descriptor) ass.
it is all a long line of degrees on issues of privilege, withdrawals, objectivity and subjectivity...to the extent that males are happy or not.
lovely meditation
http://feminsttheoryreadinggroup.wordpress.com/2010/11/23/marilyn-frye-the-politics-of-reality-oppression/
i love this. I know this. I see this but somehow, i was made and born without the chip. and it pisses folk off like you would not believe. I am readily called selfish but it is because i am not a doormat to make men and others comfortable and certainly never at my expense.
it has been a long haul of a meditation and comparison; in silent and not so silent ways...with men it makes me /i am called a ball breaker...cause my strength shows up how spineless they are; my competence, their lack. and then they run rather than buck up. cause lets face it who demands that they do? what father or mother demanded that they did when they were growing up? None
Funny too this post at this moment. Just a minute ago I was in the shower and thought how hard it is to be a prostitute and certainly a high class one nowadays: a courtesan...it is so free and given away, even in public, every day, every minute of the day, who is going to pay for it now? and who will pay for the extras when everyone is so crass and base? ..same sentiment...
service. and service without any consideration to the one providing it...to the extent that it be free is the expectation, and free from bother, reciprocity. its deep.
---------------
Jill Lian Goddard:
"In this excerpt of a piece by Marilyn Frye it discusses how a part of the oppression of woman is that we often provide for the service needs of others, especially guys. I have noticed that even when I am not asked, I will fill in the gaps of which services are needed. I will make sure children are taken care of, things flow smoothly, conversation is balanced, etc. It's not that I want to stop being of service to others, it's that I want to keep bringing some examination of this idea about who provides the support. Sometimes I just want to invent something new, or make a new discovery but instead I find myself at the sink or doing the excel spreadsheets, or filling in the financial gaps etc. A constant struggle for me."
from the article:
"'Whether in lower, middle or upper-class home or work situations, women’s service work always includes personal service (the work of maids, butlers, cooks, personal secretaries),* sexual service (including provision for his genital sexual needs and bearing his children, but also including “being nice,” “being attractive for him,” etc.), and ego service (encouragement, support, praise, attention). Women’s service work also is characterized everywhere by the fatal combination of responsibility and powerlessness: we are held responsible and we hold ourselves responsible for good outcomes for men and children in almost every respect though we have in almost no case power adequate to that project. The details of the subjective experience of this servitude are local. They vary with economic class and race and ethnic tradition as well as the personalities of the men in question. So also are the details of the forces which coerce our tolerance of this servitude particular to the different situations in which different women live and work.
(* At higher class levels women may not do all these kinds of work, but are generally still responsible for hiring and supervising those who do it These services are still, in these cases, women’s responsibility.)"
--------------------------------
my friend chippy likes to tell me i am fighting battles already won but he is clueless and has no idea, like racism, gender bias and sexism gets more nuanced, hidden and sophisticated...and increasingly so when colorism and class are included, and even relational dynamics where every man thinks that every woman who wants to hang with him wants him romantically or sexually. some of us are just boys trying to hang./aint nobody interested in your (include descriptor) ass.
it is all a long line of degrees on issues of privilege, withdrawals, objectivity and subjectivity...to the extent that males are happy or not.
lovely meditation
http://feminsttheoryreadinggroup.wordpress.com/2010/11/23/marilyn-frye-the-politics-of-reality-oppression/
No comments:
Post a Comment