Powers Art Magic and Writing

two things this morning:

one a coincidence that sends me on dreams of high
just as i rolled over and thought of the electricity that went out hours earlier, as if i was conjuring it and telling it now it is time. bap, it came on.
and i was like, gosh, if only my brain waves could and would command every living and inanimate, outcome and process of a thing, at any time.

the second a search to a revelations

then i started to research power of the mind and removing of obstacles and other tethers that keep one from manifesting, progressing...and i arrived at my search last night--how to remove someone completely-- cause this woman running amok in the streets roaming without censure or control she either has to be removed, committed or deported. any other option i would hate to consider. but things cant continue as they are. and i wonder why and what is it about me that brings the demons but more than that cause the demons and soucouyant exists all over, but it is always only me who seeks to deal with a problem. everyone else burys their head in the sand, lives with the problem, squelches their pain and disturbances, makes room, houses and entertains the madness. i am the only one who stands up and says this shit..by the way it occurred to me and i thought about this once before with my father...to the men...when you want to habitate with a woman it is good form to provide her with a house, you all find your own house, but never to bring her into the family home. not when it is a compound. not when it is a legacy. not when your children are there: grown or young. let the blood, family and legacy be and remain.
it is why i have suffered so, i refuse to jump from frying pan into fire. i refuse, though grateful and gracious for the offers, never to find myself in a house of man. but neither has any such offer been made to put me in my own. that i have done for myself..but all that to say in search for one thing i land on another

from removing someone permanently to removing obstacles and stumbling blocks permanently/ to reading this one link that was of no new information at all and by the middle i started jumping paragraphs but there was a nugget in there for me to get to: a prayer...but it was the first line that struck me:

"GOD works through me bringing all my plans and purposes to completion. Whatever I start, I bring to a successful conclusion. My aim in life is to give wonderful service, and all those whom I contact are blessed by what I have to offer. All my work comes to full fruition in divine order. Thank you GOD for all my wonderful blessings."

and that first line...it gave me a revelation...i knew and even up to yesterday or a day or two ago, remembered and wrote on someone's post about the days where i used to know and tell myself, "that anything i put my hand to turns to gold" and it was true. everything i said that i wanted, went after, pursued or started, i completed. maybe sometimes with great struggles and under amazing duress, but i finished, i was successful, with accolades, and attaining levels of accomplishments noted by others, I concluded

...but this...this was new: "GOD works through me bringing all my plans and purposes to completion."...the revelation is that i have completed and concluded everything i have ever started. that is not ongoing like my art and writing. but everything else was completed. the issue is that I have not known what to start anew since the last great thing i completed. That new, nothing of it thought, pursued or imagined has stuck. It is like there can be no completion if you dont even know what to set your mind to and having a range of things doing neither count nor work, sadly. and part of it too is that there is no internal purpose. i have no drive or mission anymore. nothing motivates me with a fire. too much have failed to flourish and become its own entity beyond an exploration or flirtation and those things we know are not real...they are slots and expeditions to fill up the time, to entertain the mental. and i am not even sure in this timing of things if i am to figure out what plans and purpose to construct. everything seems to be in a we shall see what life brings priority.. i have long thought something magnificent happened within me at 9-11 it was seeing the crashing down of fields of work and study, careers that never got started, the folly of mankind, the futility of money, the error of ego, the lie of pride,

and i read my words over and think perhaps that is the thing to do: art, magic and writing. it wont be the first time i am told that is revealed. my art is proof enough. it is a creature onto its own making, nothing about me.