Adrian R Vidale: "That life ain't for everyone..."
i arrive and am confronted with this statement. i tried to move on but it stays with me. i return to its words. that life aint for everyone...well. i wake up thinking about 'that life' and how i and we handled a situation incorrectly. it was the thick rain that impressed me and reminded me this was the conditions i envisioned that i knew i did not want to be trudging in. i was fearful of travelling in the envisioned flooded south quay so i wanted an office in my neighborhood. then it hit me: we/i messed up that interaction. as part of my package, the $15K a month, i could have tabled getting my vehicle fixed. but everything went haywire with this hippo of a mental case. going good for years, and for months, and then one day decides to switch off. then sends bullies of differing degrees to me. so i realize 'that life' aint for everybody..
the life of dealing with any and everybody, i cant do it. i might be a fool for it, but i cant contend. i cant subject myself to all, sundry and anything, vibration is very important. look even me, after i agreed to move forward, being in this person's presence a few times, i realized I was greatly challenged. just like being around a ball of poison lumbering.
'that life' doing anything for money. that too is a challenge for me. i and the activity must be righteous. i even realize when i say we messed up, had i been able to wrangle that bull by the horns, perhaps i could have rewrite my role, or present another configuration, and not be another rabid writer.. but at the same time, I know i am sitting here thinking, i handled it wrong, but i know we dont live and navigate a situation by ourselves. it is always influenced by the other players and their intent. and look, something as simple as, if the ugly basketball head did not want to deal with me anymore, I certainly wasnt dealing with anyone else, let a lone a runaway patriarchal blowhard ass who believes everybody is one of his children./ i will never forget he told me i am trying to help you keep this job, and what problem do i have with my name if i dont have any money. i dont think i will ever forget that line. the chasm like the grand canyon that exists between me and most. "that life" that they dont know that i know i am not throwing away, and certainly for not so cheaply. so we have ideas, we wake up with them, but things are far more complex.
it is peculiar to me though
the constant balancing and processing of what ;that life; we wish to live
regularly now i am impressed by the mind numbing effects of living the same week repeatedly. and i wonder how do others contend. but i know it is their chasing the next distraction and the mighty dollar to pay a rent
;that life; i know not for everybody, and plenty of it not for me
nevertheless, i constantly wonder what i left on various tables
i arrive and am confronted with this statement. i tried to move on but it stays with me. i return to its words. that life aint for everyone...well. i wake up thinking about 'that life' and how i and we handled a situation incorrectly. it was the thick rain that impressed me and reminded me this was the conditions i envisioned that i knew i did not want to be trudging in. i was fearful of travelling in the envisioned flooded south quay so i wanted an office in my neighborhood. then it hit me: we/i messed up that interaction. as part of my package, the $15K a month, i could have tabled getting my vehicle fixed. but everything went haywire with this hippo of a mental case. going good for years, and for months, and then one day decides to switch off. then sends bullies of differing degrees to me. so i realize 'that life' aint for everybody..
the life of dealing with any and everybody, i cant do it. i might be a fool for it, but i cant contend. i cant subject myself to all, sundry and anything, vibration is very important. look even me, after i agreed to move forward, being in this person's presence a few times, i realized I was greatly challenged. just like being around a ball of poison lumbering.
'that life' doing anything for money. that too is a challenge for me. i and the activity must be righteous. i even realize when i say we messed up, had i been able to wrangle that bull by the horns, perhaps i could have rewrite my role, or present another configuration, and not be another rabid writer.. but at the same time, I know i am sitting here thinking, i handled it wrong, but i know we dont live and navigate a situation by ourselves. it is always influenced by the other players and their intent. and look, something as simple as, if the ugly basketball head did not want to deal with me anymore, I certainly wasnt dealing with anyone else, let a lone a runaway patriarchal blowhard ass who believes everybody is one of his children./ i will never forget he told me i am trying to help you keep this job, and what problem do i have with my name if i dont have any money. i dont think i will ever forget that line. the chasm like the grand canyon that exists between me and most. "that life" that they dont know that i know i am not throwing away, and certainly for not so cheaply. so we have ideas, we wake up with them, but things are far more complex.
it is peculiar to me though
the constant balancing and processing of what ;that life; we wish to live
regularly now i am impressed by the mind numbing effects of living the same week repeatedly. and i wonder how do others contend. but i know it is their chasing the next distraction and the mighty dollar to pay a rent
;that life; i know not for everybody, and plenty of it not for me
nevertheless, i constantly wonder what i left on various tables
so i am still broke,. my car remains down. and i am out of circulation.
i also have to remember I am Oya, come to mash up and clean even my and mine
i also have to remember I am Oya, come to mash up and clean even my and mine
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