Staying Safe

i love this.

and the shit will get you killed

i wrote this this morning when I could not get on the net, believing i think it was over subscribed...and then i get this meme..

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thank god

trying to find a word platform on this computer when there is no internet....

i was beginning to think it was completely useless. thank god for notepad.

i had such an odd day yesterday that I dont know if I recovered.

i left the house just to get out, get vit d, get some social exposure/

i ended up sitting at lloyd's the chinese bar shop specifically because no one was there then it grew, the crowd. and it ended up being a party. with people i see all the time, but were never so friendly and engaging. to the point one young guy said, 'this is the first time shes* talking to us"

anyway, there were two guys there in the afternoon. they left and returned hours after only for one of the guys who i read the most, to be another Roland; i guess my mind's eye was seeing and my vision was showing me...same build a little smaller, a good looking man that i could see women flocking to, not obnoxious, not acting full of himself, just cool and humble. and as he talked, he proved my third eye sense.. telling me i think at first, that he had twelve children. over the noise of music and his distance, I could not respond not even with shock. that came out because he asked me of mine. then later on after telling me "he found i was very humble" liming by myself, and how i conducted myself so different from everyone else; i thought i heard the man say is seventeen children he have. i guess he was more prolific than roland. then he tells me after repeating himself and his questions about children, says, "i love children" i said in my mind is not children you love nuh.

and in hindsight now, I realize he must have a serious sickness. for if you meet a woman for the first time, and your conversation is children, if i have and how much you have, ehnt you on a mission, trying to breed, and find the right specimens to cater. he told me i should have children. i agreed and made a motion on myself, and stated, cause all of this is too good to waste.

even now, I am not sure what or who i encountered, except to know that these two men=- they did not mean me well. it was all too odd. that whole humble thing i think that is code in their brain for a woman they think they can ply and manipulate, and that is how my friend tells me I traumatize people. they see me one way and when they go on their mission they get waylaid and bepped.

as the party petered out, they came to my table again, chatted,

they seem to be in disparate conversations and engagements with me.

one invited me to lime with them in st james, but apparently not telling his friend who was driving, the one giving me all the chat. i cant tell if it was one saw me interesting, and the other then sought to take over and best him. as we set out to leave, after i had the one guy i was liming with verify they were ok to go with/ another one of the dudes in the long time crew, the one who said I never talk to them, without bidding, he came to close the gate behind us, and told the men, I better get back home safe, "make sure this lady get home safe, and if not, i coming to look for you, you , mr. in the red jersey: and called out the license plate number asking his crew to remember the number.

pa-pa. the guy changed a few things, he had me sit in the front seat, after he started clearing the back seat for me / then told his his tall friend to sit back there, squeezed and cramped, complaining of not being comfortable. as we start to move on, it was like there was no discussion of plan, destination, agreement. so i told them they were comedians, and i can just stay in my neighborhood where we were. then the guy who was behind me all the time, say he feeling tired and want to sleep when his friend says lets go to st james, he mentions how, "they call out my license plate number; where we going" and i thought, if your intention is pure, why does that matter?

so i dont know what these two grown men's intention was, men of mid years, that same one said he was 50, April 27 is his birthday as Junior, my brother, and his name was Tony he said, just as my brother.. so now we went nowhere. just metres down the street. except me and the tall guy went into nary's. and he asked me the same questions over again: where i lived. and if i come out often, and how everybody knows me but he never saw me before. then he asked me if I smoke weed, and offered we go somewhere to smoke. smartly, i declined. chase really saved me when he taught me that in 2013, as well as me learning. i smoked once with a rasta guy and fell out, luckily, in chase's truck., then he got up and said he was going to the car or something, and that was the end of the drama, but I came home feeling odd, out of my skin. dont know why, dont know when it happened.

but i use that as an example, to how i dont need to go out and lime. first of cigarettes way too much when i am liming. second of all, it is becoming increasingly unsafe. the funny thing is i told those two guys that: that i am such a limer, and will go anywhere with anybody, but it is no longer safe to do that..and then watch them.

I realize i really am protected and covered.

and for a second time, i escaped from men who meant me no good. and what is amusing about these stories is that I am never aware when the story is happening or unfolding. only at varying degrees after it is over.

loving life freely and wildly, will get your ass killed

but the second beautiful thing of this story though is to see how you can not be in clique or league with people, but by the mere fact they know where you belong, they will look out for you. i have a hug for that guy who says i never talk to them

the other insight i get from this is that there is nothing new under the sun and all if not most people, are all the same, the form into specific characters and frames. Just like i saw and could call Roland in that Tony. I am realizing that wisdom in life gets you to a point to be able to read people , what category they come out from, and engage them accordingly. this new revelation comes at half a life. it reminds me of an article I just saw a few weeks ago. I think i tried to read it and it never loaded so I was never availed of its material, but i think it was outlining the twentyfive or so different type of males/men that exist. so i prove to myself that is true, no matter how the construction of such a list may vary.

--------- all of this makes me think of the "women living on a rock" this might be a good story. i now wonder how much my accent and the way i speak plays into the shenanigans people try with me

oil crash and bust

"a gallon of water is worth more than a gallon of oil right now"

"to buy into the bonanza" resulted in a lot of folk losing their economic platforms and

financial stability