Letting Go -

{Hi girly, How tings Maven...My fren quit that work after three weeks

could not take the trini pressure was t}he deal, hence no word from me.Girl i hope things are better for you right now}

Hi Dale.

your message comes at such a peculiar day. I literally woke up this morning with the spirit message to stop trying. stop choosing, stop looking. "to become (give in to being, doing, contributing) nothing so that i can be something" cause it is not me, it is not my power, abilities. Not in this environment.

not any , anymore actually

in the states in my fathers time, and all before. a man or woman lesser so could make themselves into something. that is done and no more. and even if you manage to , like i did, it is only for such a time, to so far, and then glass ceilings.

here in trinidad. and i dont know if it is the same for all other islands...you only make it if someone sanctions it, sanctions you, or dont block you. and all three are very rampant, prominent, intentional

A young lady who is very popular here in trinidad, and an upcoming professional as she is framed. admitted to me that she too after being a queen's scholar or something so was unemployed and it was only someone who came to her help and gave her a job. she admitted that to me on sunday night. and that was it for me. because all along i was telling myself it is because i not from here, did not go to school here, have no friends here. but that is not her story.

as i write it makes me realize how much this society is the slave plantation and we are all slaves and is only the overseers who decide who shall be free, wjho will be located where, for how long, for what purpose and you will be destroyed when they are finished with you. there is no other way to explain what is happening here. there aer too many of us unemployed. and that happend too because we are not a real country but because we are really a plantation. and what did massa do when they had too many slaves, made deals with other massas for slave sales, or sent the extra slaves to his other holdings or plantations, elsewhere, ripping up and apart families. but in this rounds, there is no where to send anyone cause that is one of the dynamics that have ended and dried up in this timing, the shipping off, between nationalism, zenophobia, jingoism, and the destruction of native lives who make them be antagonistic to immigrants. not realizing it is not them taking anything from you, it is the system falling down and apart. it can no longer hold.

I agree with you on much said honey, as I know several trinis who have returned and have faced the same thing, even a close Indian lawyer pal of mine, her story however is she has a successful hubby from india.

 

me:

yeah. a woman just last night wrote me inbox and told me "i need a husband" when i asked her to link me to the old world black power links in new orleans where she is from...

 

 

I am sorry to read your about your plight, but I saw exactly what you said while I was there, if one did not go to Bishops or ahve that network yuh salt, or something school.It did not even appear that is was based on Univ, its from dam primary school...I also tried getting work on my own there and no go, I was told people had to know me and bring me in.

So in the US you can roam as a woman and make it work, but in the sun the rules look different, its been tough for me to fly solo in JA as well, so I have had to tuck under meh rass husband, sad but true

 

me:

but i thought you were trini? and went to school here?

 

 

Maven honey, you just gotta keep trying, not sure what else to tell you.

I am trini but left at age 9 or about

was gone my entire Life, met hubby at age 38 moved to JA at age 40

me:

i good.. it is an internal journey and a spiritual gauntlet, both of high tensions against everything and everyone around me

 

 

only trini I know was from Infants until standard something, and then the new ones I met, or ones I met in JA

So No

how old were you when you left tnt

 

me:

ok. yes. our times are very similar. for me it was 7, returned to trinidad at 38. and no husband...