Thursday, February 13, 2014

Futility versus Failure

"Which may be better. Sometimes this feels like a waste of time."

said by my beloved sister, in Botswana, leading and running an Ag Applied Economics program. with her PhD, the life, the mercedes, professional travel/ and in response to her telling me she does not have the life i have of being at home in leisure, wrapped in Kenyan/Tanzanian shawls, fabrics and Masai cloths. to which i wrote in caps: "I AM UNEMPOYED"

so she writes that back:
"Which may be better. Sometimes this feels like a waste of time."

do you see why i fight futility confusion confliction desperation every single day?
unbelievable
there is no answer
and being there and here: I know she is wasting her time.
just like i know I am dying/ a useless, irrelevant, unproductive death

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