funny.
this post just had the words . no graphics. but then it pops up proving
more poignant and targeting my thoughts more than i was prepared to
present...
i was thinking sometimes how life is doing things you are not aware. and several things are floating have been, in my mind> how marcus my friend said that there are some family members he passes like a full bus. it was funny when i saw it but it never left me.
then i just barred the rest of my family from my fb page. only one remaining...the one who has lived outside and abroad and seems to have some shared sensibilities about protocol and approaches. but more than that i just barred folk who here just taking up space no greater than the random unknown fb associate. but deeper than that i just read brainpickings 37 thinker's points for better living and embedded in one was positive relationships I realize since 2013 and even before that my life was being cleaned of dead, irrelevant, dysfunctional, useless and toxic people and seems there was a proliferation of it. early since i culturally transferred to trinidad did I discover how deep fissures people hold in close relations. well i knew it before but it holds even with people you dont have deep experiences with and then i wonder what is the reason for it. but the level of jealousy, resentment, envy, issues, and family dynamic harbored because someone felt they were not preferred or favored. in adulthood. is just too much. folk who fight for land and house who have land and house and married but resenting a sibling getting the family house all by themselves . nastiness like that. sickening. i dump them all to the curb
if i travelling and getting my ass cut royally and you all too damn ineffectual to be supportive, caring or loving, and so ignorant on top of that to know and see the world and fortunes there for the grace of god, but want to tell me is I do something wrong. yeah. here is your stop right here. take all your shit cause you not coming back on this bus
then i just saw a fb friend say they did not do any art today because no one answered her question. so no one cares what she does and i had to tell her: honey. that is correct. no one cares about you, cares for you, so it is for you to move on and through with a full heart for yourself. and she had another friend who chimed in. they both. i realize now. no one cares about you. there may be moments of love and grandeur but dont expect it. dont look for it and dont carry it.
funny thing too just this evening earlier my friend was telling me how he has a problem with how nonchalant i am whether i see him or not and if he calls and tells me he cant make it i am just like, 'allright, see you when i see you, or i was expecting any possibility' and i was like seems like a good place to be. but he disagrees. doesnt want me that way...but realize the opposite to be and do anything else is to be in a place of suffering and that is what we humans know: pain and suffering. we become even more alien when we eschew that path/ i am letting folk do and be who they choose to be. just not necessarily in my space or sphere. go on with that.
a speaker of truth; one of integrity to their life, head, heart, hand and path;
those whose souls are most important; those who arent fake; those who not on fuckery
...they shall have no friends
and let me tell you how bad it might get
on new years, jan 2. at a family lime at the beach
my five year old niece, a young cousin, tells me how her mother, my cousin, makes fun of me to her mother, older daughter and lawd knows who else...makes fun of the way i talk, the way i sleep (no doubt propped up on dirty bed linens)...and i was shocked...shocked that someone else's child sees my spirit and has such a strong affinity to me to come and tell me , give me reports about and on her own mother. that her integrity, honesty and character is such that she could not allow me to be deceived. know who your friends are. and children are that pure. they have not yet been corrupted to accept anything and anyone for materialistic physical and physicialistic * purposes>
and then surprise of surprise, she told her mother she told me.
I was so touched by this child. honesty all round
cut the bitches off and out. walk alone. besides. you not alone. endless ancestors, guides and angels..
love who loves you beautiful
i was thinking sometimes how life is doing things you are not aware. and several things are floating have been, in my mind> how marcus my friend said that there are some family members he passes like a full bus. it was funny when i saw it but it never left me.
then i just barred the rest of my family from my fb page. only one remaining...the one who has lived outside and abroad and seems to have some shared sensibilities about protocol and approaches. but more than that i just barred folk who here just taking up space no greater than the random unknown fb associate. but deeper than that i just read brainpickings 37 thinker's points for better living and embedded in one was positive relationships I realize since 2013 and even before that my life was being cleaned of dead, irrelevant, dysfunctional, useless and toxic people and seems there was a proliferation of it. early since i culturally transferred to trinidad did I discover how deep fissures people hold in close relations. well i knew it before but it holds even with people you dont have deep experiences with and then i wonder what is the reason for it. but the level of jealousy, resentment, envy, issues, and family dynamic harbored because someone felt they were not preferred or favored. in adulthood. is just too much. folk who fight for land and house who have land and house and married but resenting a sibling getting the family house all by themselves . nastiness like that. sickening. i dump them all to the curb
if i travelling and getting my ass cut royally and you all too damn ineffectual to be supportive, caring or loving, and so ignorant on top of that to know and see the world and fortunes there for the grace of god, but want to tell me is I do something wrong. yeah. here is your stop right here. take all your shit cause you not coming back on this bus
then i just saw a fb friend say they did not do any art today because no one answered her question. so no one cares what she does and i had to tell her: honey. that is correct. no one cares about you, cares for you, so it is for you to move on and through with a full heart for yourself. and she had another friend who chimed in. they both. i realize now. no one cares about you. there may be moments of love and grandeur but dont expect it. dont look for it and dont carry it.
funny thing too just this evening earlier my friend was telling me how he has a problem with how nonchalant i am whether i see him or not and if he calls and tells me he cant make it i am just like, 'allright, see you when i see you, or i was expecting any possibility' and i was like seems like a good place to be. but he disagrees. doesnt want me that way...but realize the opposite to be and do anything else is to be in a place of suffering and that is what we humans know: pain and suffering. we become even more alien when we eschew that path/ i am letting folk do and be who they choose to be. just not necessarily in my space or sphere. go on with that.
a speaker of truth; one of integrity to their life, head, heart, hand and path;
those whose souls are most important; those who arent fake; those who not on fuckery
...they shall have no friends
and let me tell you how bad it might get
on new years, jan 2. at a family lime at the beach
my five year old niece, a young cousin, tells me how her mother, my cousin, makes fun of me to her mother, older daughter and lawd knows who else...makes fun of the way i talk, the way i sleep (no doubt propped up on dirty bed linens)...and i was shocked...shocked that someone else's child sees my spirit and has such a strong affinity to me to come and tell me , give me reports about and on her own mother. that her integrity, honesty and character is such that she could not allow me to be deceived. know who your friends are. and children are that pure. they have not yet been corrupted to accept anything and anyone for materialistic physical and physicialistic * purposes>
and then surprise of surprise, she told her mother she told me.
I was so touched by this child. honesty all round
cut the bitches off and out. walk alone. besides. you not alone. endless ancestors, guides and angels..
love who loves you beautiful
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