Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The Poignancy of Time

i posted this yesterday. my beloved wrote a comment. i answered. but a day later, i have greater clarity. it is neither about me, my weirdness or trying to process it, or even simply me writing about my life.. the deeper clarity is this:

facebook appears in a time and within  my life time of a deep entrenched wilderness experience, that also coincides with me or the idea of me "returning home" , at a time of anyone's life that is significant --the end of their youth, vitality of a kind, the poise before later years, the downing of the sun into coasting into twilight. All major and significant markers. I write on fb not trying to make sense of it because i have learned now, given the particulars, the context the location, there is no sense to make of it...but to document it is all..and what prompted this: David Rudder's quote i posted yesterday but only because some one soul liked it took me back to it this morning and as soon as I read the words I knew. I am just writing for dear life cause it is the only thing I have that is real

"It's quite amazing how many sensible people STILL try to make sense of Trinidad."
David Rudder

i am bearing witness to my own soul. I am creating validation to that witness by it being a public platform. kind of like the cheap version of writing a book.anything more than that is inaccurate






  • Christopher Rennie: Maven, you can't even handle your own weirdness. That's why you feel so pressed to share it with us

    *runs for my life*

  • Maven Huggins: lol...no.yes no yes

    no..you know what is one of the greatest myths here Ren...i sure people think i am writing for them, to them. and I am not. Fb is my diary. I just moved what i had been doing since 1990 in paper journals where i have fortyeight edi
    tions of them now, --moved it to fb. I am writing to myself. my posts and the ones with "see more" are my virtual diary inserts...i fully intend to have my fb record printed one day.

    and yes, In my writing I am processing my own weirdness, making me even more weird to use a social platform for more solitary behavior but i am not delusional Ren...I dont think i either have friends, followings, or folk interested to hear about my inner workings...look this morning my first post I referred to it as bellygazing...how solitary is that.

    i have like 2000+ friends here and about fifty people engage me , here and there, now and then..

    think there is room for fantasy delusion there?

    so the pressing is to write. Not to share it
    even though i am on a share site.
    unorthodox contradiction of me, as per usual. what else is new

    dont run you are one of the few realest truest fb and real life friends on here.


  • Giovanni Swyer: Bellygazing.


















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