it is a high price to pay if you underestimate, misjudge the character and incorrectly assess the blood and belly of the natives. you may well think they are people like yourself but may well learn they are beasts of varying degrees and ugly natures.
after five years i wake up asking myself for the first time ever, {is it any wonder kamla would not hire me personally after i refused her twice entreaty to speak on her platform back then. i thought nothing of it this whole time. but this morning i ask myself if am crazy. for the most consistent ugly dark character trait and train of the trini is vindictiveness. of all kinds and degrees.
then i think back to my last contract job and feeling i had the mettle, the nerve, qualifications and experience not to take idle work from insipid people even if they are my senior, the deputy permanent secretary, i forget his name but see his face was such an insipid waste.and i thought you dare give me busy work, such was the lack of my performa after my boss retired, but you see, he largely left me in charge of my little unit of juniors where we wrote new policies for transportation, environment, traffic, redesigning port of spain. that man's name will come to me. but after i left, is it any wonder of the treachery that ensued: >>> refusing to hire me with bhoe, bhoe listening to them, me refusing to take an idb project to be on the three person team to diversify the economy. why? cause i was the last one hired, though the most senior , experienced and centrally located -- meaning, the other two, were males, a junior indian i trained, whose papers I used to edit and correct. and the head, a political appointee, some foreigner, i presume indian with englicized name...i spoke to him on the phone never met him. the lead to the economic diversification team and committee was an chemist, and when i asked him how and what was his connection to diversification and economy, he tells me this lame bullshit about he does work in developing entrepreneurship. but on that idb project, my contract stipulated that the work was not my ownership and that i could not publish. I was appalled. for a project like that. with the potential to be so ground breaking and having great relevance to publish and circulate globally. well i was just a troublemaker then. but it was me who was the real work horse on that three person team. taking stands here is not for the glib of heart. is highly costly, and a thing you may never spring back from. it is why people sit tight, shut mouth, smile and lie. they have to survive.
the third story i thin about this morning regarding incorrectly estimating the trini character regards jonathan stone, lincoln douglas right hand who he burnt and flicked away like a snat. i knew this people long before politics and government. stayed in stone's house in tobago. left a suitcase of my clothes cause i traveled so regular. big mistake. when things started to go sour, i never went back. douglas refused to bring it back for me. what does stone do? let his daughter have access to my clothing: my linens, my cargo pants, my Red Carter designer african swimsuit and host of other clothing. but in this case, believe it or not, I agree with that reading danielle and others gave me a week or so ago, i dont take up for myself enough. some will never believe as they see me as so formidable. but i wake up thinking of this smorgasbord of experiences.
and this by no means is the list. i have a whole scroll of misreading natives..from bon air, to port of spain, to san rafael, to sando to moruga...like i would never ever have expected my father to disinherit me by putting his holdings, businesses and properties into his new wife name, a woman nine or more years younger than me and the one my mother hired to work in their store. that woman spoke to me of her planned treachery and said when she saw and met my father she decided she wanted him, and so she set about making that happen.
#thenatives
more than all of this, what has already happened, I realize the track this sets and the almost impossibility to reverse, especially when on spends one;s time pointing out the errors and lacklustre of the norm...sigh
be prepared for what they send you for
after five years i wake up asking myself for the first time ever, {is it any wonder kamla would not hire me personally after i refused her twice entreaty to speak on her platform back then. i thought nothing of it this whole time. but this morning i ask myself if am crazy. for the most consistent ugly dark character trait and train of the trini is vindictiveness. of all kinds and degrees.
then i think back to my last contract job and feeling i had the mettle, the nerve, qualifications and experience not to take idle work from insipid people even if they are my senior, the deputy permanent secretary, i forget his name but see his face was such an insipid waste.and i thought you dare give me busy work, such was the lack of my performa after my boss retired, but you see, he largely left me in charge of my little unit of juniors where we wrote new policies for transportation, environment, traffic, redesigning port of spain. that man's name will come to me. but after i left, is it any wonder of the treachery that ensued: >>> refusing to hire me with bhoe, bhoe listening to them, me refusing to take an idb project to be on the three person team to diversify the economy. why? cause i was the last one hired, though the most senior , experienced and centrally located -- meaning, the other two, were males, a junior indian i trained, whose papers I used to edit and correct. and the head, a political appointee, some foreigner, i presume indian with englicized name...i spoke to him on the phone never met him. the lead to the economic diversification team and committee was an chemist, and when i asked him how and what was his connection to diversification and economy, he tells me this lame bullshit about he does work in developing entrepreneurship. but on that idb project, my contract stipulated that the work was not my ownership and that i could not publish. I was appalled. for a project like that. with the potential to be so ground breaking and having great relevance to publish and circulate globally. well i was just a troublemaker then. but it was me who was the real work horse on that three person team. taking stands here is not for the glib of heart. is highly costly, and a thing you may never spring back from. it is why people sit tight, shut mouth, smile and lie. they have to survive.
the third story i thin about this morning regarding incorrectly estimating the trini character regards jonathan stone, lincoln douglas right hand who he burnt and flicked away like a snat. i knew this people long before politics and government. stayed in stone's house in tobago. left a suitcase of my clothes cause i traveled so regular. big mistake. when things started to go sour, i never went back. douglas refused to bring it back for me. what does stone do? let his daughter have access to my clothing: my linens, my cargo pants, my Red Carter designer african swimsuit and host of other clothing. but in this case, believe it or not, I agree with that reading danielle and others gave me a week or so ago, i dont take up for myself enough. some will never believe as they see me as so formidable. but i wake up thinking of this smorgasbord of experiences.
and this by no means is the list. i have a whole scroll of misreading natives..from bon air, to port of spain, to san rafael, to sando to moruga...like i would never ever have expected my father to disinherit me by putting his holdings, businesses and properties into his new wife name, a woman nine or more years younger than me and the one my mother hired to work in their store. that woman spoke to me of her planned treachery and said when she saw and met my father she decided she wanted him, and so she set about making that happen.
#thenatives
more than all of this, what has already happened, I realize the track this sets and the almost impossibility to reverse, especially when on spends one;s time pointing out the errors and lacklustre of the norm...sigh
be prepared for what they send you for
No comments:
Post a Comment