how many of you on this thread have had someone block your meteor, while in flight, unbeknownst to you, because they felt you did not deserve or should not have the blessing, standing, status or position that was given , offered or earned?
how many of you on this thread had someone offer you something big but the person offering did not come to you directly, cause they did not know you, much, but went to someone else, a family member, say, and presented them. and that member saying, "you not ready" and you only find out years later? this happened in trinidad like in 2004.
the former happened in like 1996. at michigan state university. with racist biased white people. I applied for an inaugural position, to represent my field, agriculture economics, on capitol hill, dc. i had passed all stages , a national call out, with flying colors, but had not included my adviser, i had enough other people who knew me longer. they offered me the position saying i was the front runner but wanted to hear from that person, under who i was ostensibly doing my phd. she wrote them a letter stating, that i was black, indicating I went to an hbcu. she indicated that i switched my field, whichwas irrelevant, as I had the masters in the field required, but for the phd i went multidisciplinary. years later with this turn of events haunting me as the post evaporated...i ended up asking the secretary, a white woman too. and she told me in all her decades working in the dept she never saw a reference letter written/ worded like that. she ended up finding it, printing it, i still have it in my trove of papers. she wrote a coded letter to obstruct me.
i share all this to tell you how much you dont know, havent lived, havent ranged, no depth plunged, no star on rise, to fully understand how folk will come for you in different groves. different landscapes. put you in the place you belong. and you all should know about that very well. cause no where else but in trinidad is a phrase so oft repeated and used: "know your place"
it is kind of both deep and funny to me.
Imagine preparing, investing, studying, experiencing to build a foundation and a fortress, only to find there are ammunitions, by varied, that you never see coming and cant ever fight, the dastardly has been done. where you are could have everything to do with other people. and in this colonial society when someone sits down on a desk and decide what school you going to, which dictates your possible outcomes in life, i find this post...well...
live some more please.
and you know, your post is true. for when you never moved off the block you were born on, perhaps. i am gonna try that next life i think.
I thought long and hard about sharing, whether to leave the agreed mindset alone, so forgive me for not doing so... then it took me even longer to write this, carefully, to convey the obverse/opposite.
and i can go on.
been doing a lot of processing lately, a lot of personal work. and realize I have lived and living a story twice in my life. alienation from family, first it was from my father, now from my mothers family. both due to their hatred and jealousy of the former, and the latter, their disdain that i refused to fight him for land and inheritance, upon the death of their sister
you can indeed end up in places that your actions had no play in.
it has been an interesting life.
cheers
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This was a crazy post. and my life is its juxtaposition.
i tried to be brief, but realize as I closed how much more I could have shared and expanded.. Like me being without a home of my own because my dad sold my mother's house when he had neither right or jurisdiction but a crooked lawyer.
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and the post reads like something your hater or massa would say after he cut off your feet or impaired your movement. I am spending time studying the dysfunction and evil that is the world we lve in and how it changes us and our life trajectory from a climb to a fall. all the crime in trinidad is all about that
and the post reads like something your hater or massa would say after he cut off your feet or impaired your movement. I am spending time studying the dysfunction and evil that is the world we lve in and how it changes us and our life trajectory from a climb to a fall. all the crime in trinidad is all about that
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