Monday, September 15, 2014

Letting Go of Holding On

"4. Empty your cup. Consciously and actively work at letting go of your story; your judgments and ideals, the material things, all your stuff. They have no real value. They do not make you stronger, healthier or more powerful, and belief in them is a delusion. Pour out your expectations of how, who, where and what you should be as they, too, are part of a story that holds you back from simply being. Once you let go of this story and empty your cup, your life purpose will open up and flow."

i read this article and it puts me in mind of previous thoughts and dreams I have had...like to give to the world or put out in the universe what i have wanted and never got or had...i think it is why i get into a lot of one sided situations so much -- some working to my benefit despite the intention of the other, but other times suffering for it...because I am walking around the world in my own frame...and that is just to give and be of use. then before i know it i am prey before a predator.

but i think of a space where people can come and just sit with themselves, feel themselves, meditate in quiet without bustle and hurry and other souls intruding...but would trinidadidians ever get that silent and quiet to even want such a thing

then the part about alignment, my experiences and journey has robbed so much from me...i dont know if i still have values, what i believe in nor am i clear on my goals although recent interactions have benefitted me some blessings in that regard...but all i thought i believed and got me to this point cant take me further and the world is not the same place and the creatures that look like me are not of the same kind and ilk. they just carry the form . demons in masks most of all.

but thank goodness for the day ..some things happened last night that give me an opportunity and an opening.. the beginning of a practice might be the means where clarity comes in on how i am holding on...perhaps maintaining eating like i am the queen priestess of the castle grounds and all the domain seen and unseen -- cutting that off might be the stillness, the stop, to see the hidden..who knows.. we reach for something to find anything...

plus the challenge of a future in such a despicable human place
i just read a gentleman give the screed of the other men in a group because he unveiled himself and told his deepest stories and vulnerabilities i did not even read it but i saw it and i saw the comments that began to scourge and condemn him. these men who are alll broken and always crying about how bitter and ugly are women but could not hold sacred space for one of their own. me. i eh able

i just wrote him words of encouragement to keep stepping. this place is inhumane/ populated worse than by douens, but zombie douens. selah...

no condemnation. no judgement. it all is as it is what it is.
they say i have a purpose and work here...i set about to find it. starting this day. right here.

steeled first to command and control my hungers
10 Tips to Let Go of the Past & Embrace the Future
www.mindbodygreen.com

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